At one point I was hoping to have a marriage like those that I know. Then it turned out that most of them did not turn out well. But some worked out in the end (ish). Some had me worried because I thought they would last and they didn't. I saw some come back stronger (I don't want to go down that road). I was still concerned.

I married my high school sweet heart. I was worried it would not last. Even tho I know we are both as committed as can be. Then I started looking at the post of all of you that have been together for 30, 40, 50 plus years. I am sure there were obstacles but but you made it past them.

I then realized that, that is who we are gonna be. I know we can do it. I just needed to look at the positive side. So I thank all of you that have posted about being together for so long. So often we look at what could 'likely happen', rather than what 'WILL HAPPEN'.

If the Mr. or Mrs would like to pm me with words of wisdom, please do. I am always open to wisdom.

Jerry Jr.

Live and let live and always have an open mind and heart. To love is to be patient.Never go to bed mad at each other. I wish I had my beautiful life back. I had 51 years of Heaven. Always talk to each other.
Good luck to you! I married my high school sweet heart.

Laugh a lot and have fun. You have to be good friends.
Jim

Having recently lost my wife to a long battle with cancer , ill tell you this . each day is a new day , treat it as a new beginning , express your love and be thankful .

treat the other as you want to be treated.

Grow together and you will not grow apart. Commit to each other and to GOD that it is for life, see it through thick and thin

Just remember love is not an emotion. Emotions are fickle and subject to change. Marriage ain't always easy, but the point isn't to make you happy, it's to make you grow as a man. Love your wife through thick and thin, and you'll never regret it.

42 years, Maybe just too stubborn to give up, I'm not allowed to have friends so I usually behave decent, lol

I got married at 40 yes I know I rushed into it! LOL We do things together we do things apart just communication, honesty, trust and respect are the important things. The minute you don't respect your partner or you lack trust in them it's just matter of time before the wheels come off.

dang bowhunter,you a therapist???very well said.

I had a couple of "practice" runs that didn't work out. So take my advice with that in mind...

I grew and matured as a person so I am guessing that has helped with this marriage. It made me a better person to be married to, and at the same time, made me choose a better person to marry.

No one can ever speak with absolute certainty to what is in another person's heart and mind. But my wife's actions tell me that we both feel the same way... We both instinctively place the other's happiness and well-being above our own.

It's very difficult to put into words.

Mike

Getting married 2 weeks from tomorrow. Watching this thread

Some good wisdom in this thread. I have been married for 32 years now, so I have a little perspective.

I will relate something that I remember from our premarital counseling sessions, which were very valuable for us. A elderly couple was asked this question on their 60th anniversary...In all your years together, have you ever considered divorce? The wife smiled and said, "Murder, yes, divorce, never."

I haven't been married as long as most on here, 10 years 15 years together. However, our marriage has always been a happy one, the two things that we have always done is.
1) Never try to change the other person... you fell in love with them for a reason, why would you want to change the person you fell in love with into someone different?

And this is the most important one, its been said a couple times on here.

2) Be honest with each other, and remember honesty is sometimes brutal. But also remember that honest is like an open wound, if you let it air out and keep it clean it will heal. But if you ignore it and chose to be dis-honest... it will fester and infect your relationship.

I have been married for 41 years. Marriage is all about family. Make sure your family and hers get along. Invite both families over at the same time for a bar-b-q, or a dinner once in a while. Holidays try and spend time with each at some point during the day, especially if you have kids.
The breakdown of family unit harmony is the breakdown of marriage.

Been married 22 years....I'm to old to start over and She's to tired to train another. So were stuck with each other. lol

Bowhunter hit a lot of good points. A big one is finances...

As much as "love" is important, finances will make or break a marriage.

My wife and I discuss bills and money often. We have a marker board calendar that all the bills are listed on... Due date, amount, paydays, etc... We both sit down and figure out what gets paid and when. I make the money, she stays at home and handles most of the bills and expenditures... but it's a team effort all the time.

Once in a while it's a struggle. But I can think of no one I would rather have by my side struggling with me.

Proverbs 31: 10-31 speaks great truth.

Mike

Don’t ever expect another person, be it wife, friend or family, to make you happy. That’s on you. That being said, no one ever leaves someone who is happy.

lost my wife after 36 years miss her more every day

got married at 21 and 18 years in , sure have seen a lot of marriages around us fail , including my aunt who got married the month before we did.


my wife would tell you communication is the key to any and all relationships.

I can tell you they are all nuts / head cases , it's just what kind of nuts / headcase you can live with. ,my wife would agree although she was offended by that at first and later realized it's truth.

sometimes I think the odd couples work out better , maybe not but , maybe. if they do it is because they don't worry about what others think or say and they do it their way and as long as their way keeps the communication they need then it works.

if at any point you find yourself doing what you think you are supposed to do trying to follow a social norm , stop and talk it over with your partner and see what the two of you really want to be doing then do that. It is my theory that social norms are propagated often by unhappy people with to much time on their hands that think others should conform to their misery misery likes company , if they can get others to join them then they can feel self reassured in their own situation.


simple math it is a lot harder to keep 3,4,5 or more people happy than it is to keep 2 happy , your not married to 3,4,5 ... so work with the one your married too. #3 may be mother in law or other.

sometimes you have to take one for the team. we are apart of larger families and if you want to keep that relationship also sometimes there has to be compromise , this might be you visiting her parents/family and sometimes is is her visiting yours. communicate with each other so that you know when something bothers the other and try and make sure to limit that and not always have one person take one for the team.

there will be disagreements / fights / no one on earth could make you more angry, because there is no one on earth you care more about and anyone else you would just walk away from.

keep in mind I have only been at this 18 years just a touch less than half my life , 3 kids all teens now , I thought 3 in diapers was exhausting 3 teens is somehow more work the diapers because you can't fix it with a diaper change , bottle and a nap.

oh and one more thing , maybe your rich but we definitely are not , budget for your hobbies pick an amount the same amount that just gets pulled automatically from you pay check and out into separate accounts(even if you make very different amounts) just for your hobbies.(understand what your hobbies are there is sometimes confusion in this at times after the first or second hand bag it is a hobby not a clothing need ) yes sometimes you will be short monies for non hobby needs like a bill , take evenly from your hobby accounts to cover this if there isn't another way.

you could wait and ask me again in 20 years when I am 38 years in but time already goes so fast don't waste it , jump in with both feet and give it your all , communicate and as we can see sometimes these things take more than one try because one or both parties aren't all in , or some other reason.