$5.37 Burrito
#6541525
05/21/19 12:24 PM
05/21/19 12:24 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 15,594 MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
Trapper7
OP
trapper
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OP
trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 15,594
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
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"$5.37!" That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint, two dimes, and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed he kid a 5-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.
"Only $4.68". He said cheerfully.
I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet! A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what that was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in my truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back set. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of that alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowel of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned. I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.
There stood Elmo draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle and then go home and apply for social security benefits.
Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, " I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words. "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All this to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanket.
I don't care how nice the hand soap smells, you should never walk out of the restroom sniffing your fingers.
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Re: $5.37 Burrito
[Re: Trapper7]
#6541527
05/21/19 12:30 PM
05/21/19 12:30 PM
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 34,761 Central, SD
Law Dog
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 34,761
Central, SD
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1st thought is Senior discount no way, the next thought is "How much is it?" LOL
Was born in a Big City Will die in the Country OK with that!
Jerry Herbst
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Re: $5.37 Burrito
[Re: Trapper7]
#6541685
05/21/19 05:16 PM
05/21/19 05:16 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 20,966 St. Louis Co, Mo
BigBob
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 20,966
St. Louis Co, Mo
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"$5.37!" That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint, two dimes, and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed he kid a 5-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.
"Only $4.68". He said cheerfully.
I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet! A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what that was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in my truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back set. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of that alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowel of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned. I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.
There stood Elmo draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle and then go home and apply for social security benefits.
Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, " I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words. "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All this to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanket. And took a nap!
Every kid needs a Dog and a Curmudgeon.
Remember Bowe Bergdahl, the traitor.
Beware! Jill Pudlewski, Ron Oates and Keven Begesse are liars and thiefs!
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Re: $5.37 Burrito
[Re: Trapper7]
#6541703
05/21/19 05:48 PM
05/21/19 05:48 PM
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,103 7mtns of CENTRAL PA
GROUSEWIT
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,103
7mtns of CENTRAL PA
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Yea round here at Burgerking and McDs senior discount starts at age 55. Oh an senior checking with free checks too.
NRALIFER,PRPA LIFER,HUNTER,FURTAKER
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Re: $5.37 Burrito
[Re: Trapper7]
#6541759
05/21/19 07:40 PM
05/21/19 07:40 PM
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,015 SE Iowa USA
AKAjust
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,015
SE Iowa USA
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LMAO
I'm 72 Can't wait til I'm old.
Last edited by AKAjust; 05/21/19 07:41 PM.
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