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Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628889
09/29/19 09:53 PM
09/29/19 09:53 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,248
Northern MN
O
Osky Offline
trapper
Osky  Offline
trapper
O

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,248
Northern MN
Why does someone feel that way when itís family?
Because in the end we only have authority and impression over family. We always wonder if we had been there a bit more often, stayed a bit longer, been a bit more involved... in other words taken just a bit more responsibility things could very well have been different. Itís difficult to hold someone to your standards if you were not involved enough to instill those standards.
There is generally a feeling of giving when in the reality of leaving this world, versus an expectation of perfection in the loved ones we leave behind.
I guess weíll all know it one way or another ourselves soon enough.

Osky


"A womans heart is the hardest rock the Almighty has put on this earth, and I can find no sign on it"

www.SureDockusa.com
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628891
09/29/19 09:54 PM
09/29/19 09:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 19,401
nm
A
adam m Offline
trapper
adam m  Offline
trapper
A

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 19,401
nm
x2 all of the above

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: Osky] #6628892
09/29/19 09:55 PM
09/29/19 09:55 PM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,574
OH
Catch22 Offline
trapper
Catch22  Offline
trapper

Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,574
OH
Originally Posted by Osky
Why does someone feel that way when itís family?
Because in the end we only have authority and impression over family. We always wonder if we had been there a bit more often, stayed a bit longer, been a bit more involved... in other words taken just a bit more responsibility things could very well have been different. Itís difficult to hold someone to your standards if you were not involved enough to instill those standards.
There is generally a feeling of giving when in the reality of leaving this world, versus an expectation of perfection in the loved ones we leave behind.
I guess weíll all know it one way or another ourselves soon enough.

Osky

That's some truth there!


I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, I'd tap that. I wonder about things.....
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628896
09/29/19 09:56 PM
09/29/19 09:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8,672
Georgia
warrior Offline
trapper
warrior  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8,672
Georgia
I can't understand why folks get to that point without a plan in place. Especially if there's a large estate to be dispersed. Even if the son is going to blow it it sounds like he has no clue what he's getting or how.

It may sound morbid but the last two generations have had that discussion with us long before it came near. There's a three inch thick three ring binder sitting on my father's dresser that details his living trust and health directives with another copy in a more secure location. I and both my brothers are fully up to date on the contents. My mother passed without a single cent of hers having to go through probate or to get diverted to pay a shyster or tax.

Last edited by warrior; 09/29/19 09:57 PM.
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628900
09/29/19 09:58 PM
09/29/19 09:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,514
Eastern Mt, 31 yrs old
B
Bob Offline
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Bob  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,514
Eastern Mt, 31 yrs old
Tell him what you think. Leaving a guy like that money will do nothing but fund his drugs and booze. He could leave it to anyone or anything he wants.

I havenít had the conversation with my kids cause my oldest is only ten, but my will is gonna be written in such a way that if any of them arenít responsible, productive members of society, and if they manage their own money poorly, they wonít get a penny when I pass. I wonít put my lifetime of hard work towards funding bad behavior. If it came to that Iíd find a disabled vet or something to leave it to.


"I have two guns, one for each of ya."
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: Bob] #6628905
09/29/19 10:02 PM
09/29/19 10:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8,672
Georgia
warrior Offline
trapper
warrior  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8,672
Georgia
Originally Posted by Bob
Tell him what you think. Leaving a guy like that money will do nothing but fund his drugs and booze. He could leave it to anyone or anything he wants.

I havenít had the conversation with my kids cause my oldest is only ten, but my will is gonna be written in such a way that if any of them arenít responsible, productive members of society, and if they manage their own money poorly, they wonít get a penny when I pass. I wonít put my lifetime of hard work towards funding bad behavior. If it came to that Iíd find a disabled vet or something to leave it to.


You might want to talk to a lawyer on that. In general practice you can't will things with strings attached. A trust however can usually conditionally disperse assets.

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628909
09/29/19 10:06 PM
09/29/19 10:06 PM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 608
Ne pa
J
Jerry Jr. Online mad
trapper
Jerry Jr.  Online Mad
trapper
J

Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 608
Ne pa
Originally Posted by bucksnbears
Originally Posted by Catch22
Good grief BNB, it's HIS choice. If you are a friend, you'll respect that. Knowing your dying ain't easy, bringing things up is ok but you need to let him go out the way he wants. That's what friends do.

I know it's his choice and I'm trying to keep my mouth shut but it's HARD!!!
There's more to it than what I've mentioned but I'll say his son has treated him WAY worse than I've said so far!.
I seldom dive into anyone's $/ personal life as it's non of my business but this one is tough.!


You might try informing him that he can leave his estate to whom ever he wants. In the end it is his chose. But atleast make sure he knows his choices.


You can't buy experience, but you'll pay for it.
.... but what do I know, I'm just a dumb farmer. ~ My Dad.
NRA LIFE MEMBER, Endowment Member 5-23-14
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628912
09/29/19 10:10 PM
09/29/19 10:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,603
western mn
B
bucksnbears Offline OP
trapper
bucksnbears  Offline OP
trapper
B

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,603
western mn
That's some deep stuff Osky!

Bob, I like the way you think but, how would you wtire that will up??


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628917
09/29/19 10:21 PM
09/29/19 10:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8,672
Georgia
warrior Offline
trapper
warrior  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8,672
Georgia
With proper planning the transition while painful is smoothly done without unneeded distraction. The most difficult decision that had to be made at my mother's passing was picking the color of her casket.

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628921
09/29/19 10:23 PM
09/29/19 10:23 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,419
Wisconsin
M
Moosetrot Offline
trapper
Moosetrot  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,419
Wisconsin
I don't think you will feel settled with your self unless you at least suggest something for the other young guy.

Moosetrot

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628922
09/29/19 10:26 PM
09/29/19 10:26 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 19,806
Central, SD
Law Dog Offline
trapper
Law Dog  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 19,806
Central, SD
What's the man passion and go from there, giving that "kid" that kind of money might kill the kid.


Was born in a Big City Will die in the Country OK with that!

Jerry Herbst
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628924
09/29/19 10:29 PM
09/29/19 10:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 4,721
Virginia
5
52Carl Offline
trapper
52Carl  Offline
trapper
5

Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 4,721
Virginia
I am trying to look at it from the dying man's perspective.
Personally, I have 2 wonderful sons. For that, I am blessed. Not every father is blessed that way. If I had a dirt bag of a son who did not get his act together before age 40, and I then find out that I am going to die in 2 months, I would be overwhelmed with thoughts of my short comings and failure to turn my wayward son around. Rational thought processes aside, that is how I would surely feel.
So now, with only a few months to live, all I have left to offer is a big sum of money to leave him. I have little time left to do anything else. The son will have to figure the rest out by himself. Sink or swim. My work is done. It is out of my hands now.
My recommendation to you, bucksnbears, is to spend as much time as you can with your dying friend, and just be there for him.

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628925
09/29/19 10:29 PM
09/29/19 10:29 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 13,039
Anchorage, Alaska
J
James Offline
"Minka"
James  Offline
"Minka"
J

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 13,039
Anchorage, Alaska
Bucks, the problem I see is if you suggest he leave his estate somewhere else, he might think you are angling to get part of it.

Jim


Forum Infidel since 2001
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628926
09/29/19 10:31 PM
09/29/19 10:31 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 212
Indiana
F
fishnhunts Offline
trapper
fishnhunts  Offline
trapper
F

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 212
Indiana
Why cause the man conflict and uncertainty in his final days? Tell him you love him and help him pass in peace.

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: Moosetrot] #6628927
09/29/19 10:31 PM
09/29/19 10:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,603
western mn
B
bucksnbears Offline OP
trapper
bucksnbears  Offline OP
trapper
B

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,603
western mn
Originally Posted by Moosetrot
I don't think you will feel settled with your self unless you at least suggest something for the other young guy.

Moosetrot

I'm kinda quite when it comes too personal things. I want to but..
I'd rather see the inheritance go to someone they respect, not necessarily Love?
Wietd?


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: 52Carl] #6628928
09/29/19 10:32 PM
09/29/19 10:32 PM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,574
OH
Catch22 Offline
trapper
Catch22  Offline
trapper

Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,574
OH
Originally Posted by 52Carl
I am trying to look at it from the dying man's perspective.
Personally, I have 2 wonderful sons. For that, I am blessed. Not every father is blessed that way. If I had a dirt bag of a son who did not get his act together before age 40, and I then find out that I am going to die in 2 months, I would be overwhelmed with thoughts of my short comings and failure to turn my wayward son around. Rational thought processes aside, that is how I would surely feel.
So now, with only a few months to live, all I have left to offer is a big sum of money to leave him. I have little time left to do anything else. The son will have to figure the rest out by himself. Sink or swim. My work is done. It is out of my hands now.
My recommendation to you, bucksnbears, is to spend as much time as you can with your dying friend, and just be there for him.

Well said!


I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, I'd tap that. I wonder about things.....
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628953
09/29/19 11:14 PM
09/29/19 11:14 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 15,507
N.W. Iowa
T
Tactical.20 Offline
trapper
Tactical.20  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 15,507
N.W. Iowa
Originally Posted by bucksnbears
What are your views?
Talked to a buddy of mine that has a very terminal cancer. Sounds like he's got less than 2 months.
He's fairly well off, worth a few million so he says and I believe him.

Anyway, it sounds like he's gonna leave everything to his son who is about 35-40.
I've know the son for years. Never had a job for more than a few weeks.
A total drunk/ meth head and has been for YEARS!.
Dad has spent buco- bucks bailing him out of trouble.
Got into a small debate with him without stepping on his toes about why he would leave it all to his totally worthless kid.
His reply was, ( who else am I gonna leave it too)
Now, I ain't all knowed up on money but for those that do, can you not declare leaving it too anyone you see fit?
What makes folks deed their hard earned $ on someone who will blow on drugs?
The guy KNOWS his kids a loser, talks about it but still is gonna leave him everything.
There is a a young guy that is a super respectful/ hard working fella helping him out for years with no pay.
The guys kind of a hermit and doesn't know many people.
Just drives me NUTS he's gonna give it all to a total loser instead of giving it to the kid that bends over backwards to help him out.
Am I outta bounds if I bring this up too him?

Son is one lucky loser

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628958
09/29/19 11:28 PM
09/29/19 11:28 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,087
Western N. Carolina
S
Scout1 Offline
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Scout1  Offline
trapper
S

Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,087
Western N. Carolina
Nonchalantly mention to your friend to tell his son how much he loves him and leave him a $100! Give the rest to charity. That way he won't be paying for his son's death.


-------------------------------------
America First!!
Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628959
09/29/19 11:29 PM
09/29/19 11:29 PM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,634
NY
Canvasback2 Offline
trapper
Canvasback2  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,634
NY
There is an old saying "MONEY, IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL !!" .

Seen this type of situation a few times , through the years. You try to do the best for someone, and they squander it on parties, drugs, booze, gambling , Women... The list goes on and on.. The point is, when someone is older and there really is just one person there to step up to the plate and take care of them; why shouldn't they be rewarded? While the rest of the Family sits back on the sidelines either unable, or unwilling to help out during a loved one's final years, they sure can voice there opinion when they think you should be doing more than just taking care of the person 24/7 365 days a year! mad
Then, there are the ones that only care about what's in the Will, and how much they will get , when the person kicks the bucket.

And then , there are the people that when they are told that the person only wants a SIMPLE FUNERAL, No Viewing . Just direct in the ground burial. Those people , when told that, blow a fit. They want a full blown funeral , so THEY can mourn
Well, the way I see it, I can't see spending money on a big funeral , so that everyone can say their last goodbyes . If you want to see me , see me while I am still alive . Don't expect me to pay for a big old-fashioned funeral, where the GUEST OF HONOR, is laying in a Coffin ; unable to enjoy the Funeral because he or she is already dead and gone !

Re: For the love of $ ( inheritance) [Re: bucksnbears] #6628963
09/29/19 11:39 PM
09/29/19 11:39 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 133
Canada
U
Urbancoon Offline
trapper
Urbancoon  Offline
trapper
U

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 133
Canada
Went to a few estate seminars. Not sure how it works in the US, but here, you don't have to give anything to your kids. But, if you're going to do that, you have to have good reason to, because, especially when there is money involved, those left out of the will can hire lawyers to try to get their piece.

In the end, if you're not doing the standard thing, best to get a professional to help take care of the details.

Or, if your friend will give you Power of Attorney (it's what we call it up here--essentially gives whoever is designated the same signing privileges as the person it's for), he could give you that now and you could sell his assets and give them away before he passes on. If it's all legal (get his wishes to sell and give away witnessed by some lawyer), then there will be no contest later.

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