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Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714320
01/02/20 03:37 PM
01/02/20 03:37 PM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,778
Michigan
T
Trapper Dahlgren Offline OP
trapper
Trapper Dahlgren  Offline OP
trapper
T

Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,778
Michigan
I'm not judging my sister , she is here now an helping , she just miss two years, she could have been seeing mom when she was good ,

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714327
01/02/20 03:42 PM
01/02/20 03:42 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 23,545
james bay frontierOnt.
B
Boco Offline
trapper
Boco  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 23,545
james bay frontierOnt.
I wont be a burden on my kids,they already told me as soon as I cant look after myself they'll put me straight in the old age home.

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714339
01/02/20 03:55 PM
01/02/20 03:55 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,649
PA
E
elkaholic Offline
trapper
elkaholic  Offline
trapper
E

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,649
PA
Originally Posted by Trapper Dahlgren
I'm not judging my sister , she is here now an helping , she just miss two years, she could have been seeing mom when she was good ,



My apologies I misunderstood.


Millions of trees die every year to print environmentalist publications
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714401
01/02/20 04:58 PM
01/02/20 04:58 PM
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 31
Indiana
A
Adiah007 Offline
trapper
Adiah007  Offline
trapper
A

Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 31
Indiana
As a medical social worker who has worked hospice for 12 years and the other as a social worker in some form or another in nursing homes for 8, you are not alone. Caring for someone at home is a 24/7 365 a year job that most struggle with no matter the help or money thrown at it. Most are afraid to deal with the stress and run from it. Consider hospice and remember that it is for people to honor their wishes and to help you achieve them. Hospice is often thought of a a few days to live thing but is so much more than that. It is a focus on quality vs quantity.
Sometimes a facility is the only answer for that but they are all not doom and gloom. Sure some have bad days and they definitely are not the care you get at home as that is individualized care but most do a good job. Do so research and ask a lot of questions. Donít be afraid to talk to someone to ensure you are informed.
Prayers as the decisions ahead are challenging but often there isnít a wrong or right answer. Just do what you believe in.

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714437
01/02/20 05:58 PM
01/02/20 05:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,118
Ohio
S
stinkypete Offline
trapper
stinkypete  Offline
trapper
S

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,118
Ohio
X2 Adiah007. Just do your best. Prayers.

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714447
01/02/20 06:11 PM
01/02/20 06:11 PM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,642
OH
Catch22 Online content
trapper
Catch22  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,642
OH
When our Mama got bad sick, and she was a champ, one tough broad I will tell ya. I from personal experience disagree with the "Hospice". I do know it may be different in other area's. Here I found them to be false caring, they are kill them, kill them squads. I was Mama's legal guardian of her medical treatment and constantly fought them to keep Mama's wishes. My advice to anyone who has a dying parent, follow their wishes and don't give in to Hospice, I did and am glad I did.


I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, I'd tap that. I wonder about things.....
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714449
01/02/20 06:13 PM
01/02/20 06:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 60
PA
G
GotFur3 Offline
trapper
GotFur3  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 60
PA
Sorry to hear about your mother. Prayers sent

Re: parents [Re: Catch22] #6714465
01/02/20 06:37 PM
01/02/20 06:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,642
OH
Catch22 Online content
trapper
Catch22  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 11,642
OH
Originally Posted by Catch22
When our Mama got bad sick, and she was a champ, one tough broad I will tell ya. I from personal experience disagree with the "Hospice". I do know it may be different in other area's. Here I found them to be false caring, they are kill them, kill them squads. I was Mama's legal guardian of her medical treatment and constantly fought them to keep Mama's wishes. My advice to anyone who has a dying parent, follow their wishes and don't give in to Hospice, I did and am glad I did.

I feel the need to say this, my Sisters, all that was left put their lives on hold and took care of Mama 24/7. They are my Heroes. I had to fight them too, just like hospice. Mama has been gone since 3-21-18. We faught and I made sure Mama's wishes came in to fruition. We all text or call one another everyday, I love them with all I got. OP, you can't let any other things become part of the equation, do what it takes, nothing else matters. Blessings man!


I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, I'd tap that. I wonder about things.....
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714487
01/02/20 07:03 PM
01/02/20 07:03 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 68
UP Michigan
Yooper1978 Offline
trapper
Yooper1978  Offline
trapper

Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 68
UP Michigan
Praying Roy.

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714516
01/02/20 07:51 PM
01/02/20 07:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 363
N.W. Pennsylvania
JTaddeo Offline
trapper
JTaddeo  Offline
trapper

Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 363
N.W. Pennsylvania
Wish I'd have been closer with my pops.........good vibes to you brother...


Keep your boots dry and your powder too.

I remember when a fur check was reality.....now I'm just trapping for the love of it.

Best Regards,

JT
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714618
01/02/20 09:15 PM
01/02/20 09:15 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 19,983
Central, SD
Law Dog Offline
trapper
Law Dog  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 19,983
Central, SD
Praying for the best Cuz tough choices your call but honor her wishes if you can.


Was born in a Big City Will die in the Country OK with that!

Jerry Herbst
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714670
01/02/20 09:42 PM
01/02/20 09:42 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 342
Glenwood City, WI
B
bwtrapper Offline
trapper
bwtrapper  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 342
Glenwood City, WI
My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in July of 2018. The doctors said 12 to 18 months. My only sibling, my sister is in Florida. Until last month she never called or came to see her. When she came last month she just said she didn't expect her to still be here. She told us she will see us at the funeral. My mom is still hanging on, just me and my wife taking care of her. I wish every day my little brother was still alive to help us and see what our sister really is.

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714865
01/03/20 12:34 AM
01/03/20 12:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,204
American In the Pyrenees; Fran...
S
swift4me Offline
trapper
swift4me  Offline
trapper
S

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,204
American In the Pyrenees; Fran...
Both of my parents ended up in memory care facilities and passing with Hospice care. My wife and I moved here to France for several reasons but the largest was to be able to take care of my mother in law. We did everything for her for 7 years which allowed her to live independently in her home until the age of 97.

My brother and his family did an incredible job of taking care of my parents in their decline. I was only there for visits once a year but I spoke with my parents every week and oddly enough found a connection with my dad through playing my guitar over the phone. When I visited I'd rent a guitar and play twice a day, sometimes for 4 or 5 hours, at his memory care unit. I'd be surrounded by people in wheelchairs and walkers clapping and smiling. Over the phone from here, my dad would light up and start slapping his hand in time.

God bless anyone who takes care of their folks in the end.

Pete

Re: parents [Re: Catch22] #6714886
01/03/20 01:21 AM
01/03/20 01:21 AM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 8,432
Oakland, MS
yotetrapper30 Offline
trapper
yotetrapper30  Offline
trapper

Joined: May 2011
Posts: 8,432
Oakland, MS
Originally Posted by Catch22
Originally Posted by Catch22
When our Mama got bad sick, and she was a champ, one tough broad I will tell ya. I from personal experience disagree with the "Hospice". I do know it may be different in other area's. Here I found them to be false caring, they are kill them, kill them squads. I was Mama's legal guardian of her medical treatment and constantly fought them to keep Mama's wishes. My advice to anyone who has a dying parent, follow their wishes and don't give in to Hospice, I did and am glad I did.

I feel the need to say this, my Sisters, all that was left put their lives on hold and took care of Mama 24/7. They are my Heroes. I had to fight them too, just like hospice. Mama has been gone since 3-21-18. We faught and I made sure Mama's wishes came in to fruition. We all text or call one another everyday, I love them with all I got. OP, you can't let any other things become part of the equation, do what it takes, nothing else matters. Blessings man!


Oddly, I agree with catch22 again. Once your parents are gone, they're gone. They gave you 18 years of their life. How can you give them any less of yours?

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714939
01/03/20 06:26 AM
01/03/20 06:26 AM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,778
Michigan
T
Trapper Dahlgren Offline OP
trapper
Trapper Dahlgren  Offline OP
trapper
T

Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,778
Michigan
thanks guys ,you people are great smile its the hardest thing I have ever done , dad past in a nursing home in 2007 oct. I believe if he was at home he would have die 3 months early . which he should have they kept him breathing , even though he was not there , he couldn't talk or eat or open his eye ,I ask for them to put a end to it an after that I was not allow to be in room by myself

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714940
01/03/20 06:27 AM
01/03/20 06:27 AM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,778
Michigan
T
Trapper Dahlgren Offline OP
trapper
Trapper Dahlgren  Offline OP
trapper
T

Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,778
Michigan
on a good note I'm going back up north to get my wife today , she has weekend off an wants to come see mom smile

Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6714952
01/03/20 06:51 AM
01/03/20 06:51 AM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 23,978
potter co. p.a.
P
pcr2 Offline
"Twerker"
pcr2  Offline
"Twerker"
P

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 23,978
potter co. p.a.
Originally Posted by Trapper Dahlgren
on a good note I'm going back up north to get my wife today , she has weekend off an wants to come see mom smile

enjoy the time you have,my wife was the backbone taking care of my mom.


quality over quantity

Hickory Garden Tradin Post

PA life #413
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6715504
01/03/20 06:27 PM
01/03/20 06:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 606
South Central Wisconsin
N
Nelly Offline
trapper
Nelly  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 606
South Central Wisconsin
I will try to keep this long story short.
My mother took in both of my Grandmothers and cared for them when they couldn't live on their own anymore.
She then looked after Dad when his health began to decline.
After Dad died and our boys were out of the house, she asked us if we would be interested in moving in with her and purchasing the house that I grew up in.
We decided to do so.
Fortunately I had sisters who helped out with her finances and health care issues.
It wasn't easy, but she got to live out her days in the house where she raised her family and I wound up with the place that I always considered to be home.


I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. O Lord please don't let me be misunderstood.
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6715671
01/03/20 08:38 PM
01/03/20 08:38 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,752
Wisconsin
R
RdFx Offline
trapper
RdFx  Offline
trapper
R

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,752
Wisconsin
Super Nelly !


RdFx
Re: parents [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #6715778
01/03/20 10:20 PM
01/03/20 10:20 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 448
ID
O
Ole Offline
trapper
Ole  Offline
trapper
O

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 448
ID
Mom was in a nursing home and slowly going down hill physically.
She got pneumona--Not the first time either. Doctor said she would succumb to it if not treated. Do you want me to treat her? he asked. I said "Ask my Mom". I knew the answer would be NO. She stayed in control of her life.

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