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What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? #6817387
03/25/20 08:19 PM
03/25/20 08:19 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,058
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
trapper
Leftlane  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,058
The Hill Country of Texas
My grandpa had a way with words. 35 years after his passing I still remember most of the things he said. What do you remember grandpa saying (especially when there weren't any women to here it?

Mine:
If it has teats or tires it's going to cause you problems



Last edited by Leftlane; 03/25/20 08:19 PM. Reason: Corrected spelling

If I am there it is NOT a gun free zone!
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817401
03/25/20 08:34 PM
03/25/20 08:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,288
Fontana KS
A
Andrew Eastwood Offline
trapper
Andrew Eastwood  Offline
trapper
A

Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,288
Fontana KS
Not many that I can post on this site. grin
Never trust anything that can bleed for a week strait and not die. That is about as clean as they get sorry can't share any more that come to mind at this time.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817402
03/25/20 08:34 PM
03/25/20 08:34 PM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 3,884
Montana
B
beartooth trapr Offline
trapper
beartooth trapr  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: May 2011
Posts: 3,884
Montana
My one grandpa had all kinds of sayings but 2 of them comes to mind the most. My cousin use to be bad about putting any and everything in his mouth. But when he put coon poop or rabbit turds in his mouth my grandpa would say huaaa get that out of your mouth, feee you'll get worms. Lol. And hubba hubba, took me till i was a teenager to figure that one out.
Grandpa E he had a nickname for just about everyone, most of them where funny and fitting, some i shouldn't of been told they got me in trouble when i got home and used them around mom and dad. Lol


Let me sugar coat this
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817403
03/25/20 08:35 PM
03/25/20 08:35 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 914
N.W. Pennsylvania, Venango cou...
PA.Trapper Offline
trapper
PA.Trapper  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 914
N.W. Pennsylvania, Venango cou...
Excuses excuses,only satisfy the people that make them. Definitely my favorite


Life's too short, enjoy everyday like it was your last.
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817407
03/25/20 08:37 PM
03/25/20 08:37 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,153
SW PA
W
white marlin Offline
trapper
white marlin  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,153
SW PA
yeah, Paul would kick me off here...


"We didn't come all the way out here just to 'feel them on the line.' "
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817414
03/25/20 08:43 PM
03/25/20 08:43 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,863
Wi.
D
Diggerman Offline
trapper
Diggerman  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,863
Wi.
Yer crazier than a pet coon.
That's when two fools met.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817419
03/25/20 08:48 PM
03/25/20 08:48 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 400
south central ohio
R
randy r Offline
trapper
randy r  Offline
trapper
R

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 400
south central ohio
Lay with the dogs, your going to end up with the fleas.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: randy r] #6817424
03/25/20 08:56 PM
03/25/20 08:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 11
WISCONSIN
W
Wild_WI Offline
trapper
Wild_WI  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 11
WISCONSIN
Not my grandpa but 2 things I say a lot

Want in one hand poop in the other see which gets filled up first

And when someone asks me where something is I say wherever it is that's where it's at... I'm usually the only one laughing

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817426
03/25/20 08:57 PM
03/25/20 08:57 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,940
Nevada
N
nvwrangler Offline
trapper
nvwrangler  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,940
Nevada
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose.

Me i have a head ache
Him if i head a head like that it would ache too.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817429
03/25/20 09:00 PM
03/25/20 09:00 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 499
MN South of Gotha
J
Jags Offline
trapper
Jags  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 499
MN South of Gotha
It ain't like that guy is afraid of work, he will lay down next to it and take a nap.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817439
03/25/20 09:12 PM
03/25/20 09:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,613
venango county,pennslyvania
minklessinpa Offline
trapper
minklessinpa  Offline
trapper

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,613
venango county,pennslyvania
there might be snow on the roof, but there's still fire in the furnace!


life member pennslyvania trappers
venango co leader
life member v.f.w.
member nta
member fta
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817444
03/25/20 09:16 PM
03/25/20 09:16 PM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 143
Iowa
M
Mitch L Offline
trapper
Mitch L  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 143
Iowa
I use to whoop bigger guys than you just to get to the fight! Miss the old guy!

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817445
03/25/20 09:16 PM
03/25/20 09:16 PM
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 166
Illinois
D
DRF Offline
trapper
DRF  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: May 2016
Posts: 166
Illinois
Had a 4 on the floor with a fifth under the seat.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817457
03/25/20 09:28 PM
03/25/20 09:28 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 984
alaska
3
3 Fingers Offline
trapper
3 Fingers  Offline
trapper
3

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 984
alaska
Cheese is binding. With a heavy Swedish accent

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817460
03/25/20 09:28 PM
03/25/20 09:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,714
New Hampshire
N
Nessmuck Offline
trapper
Nessmuck  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,714
New Hampshire
[Linked Image]


It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817463
03/25/20 09:30 PM
03/25/20 09:30 PM
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,318
NW Illinois
K
Kevin Stake Offline
trapper
Kevin Stake  Offline
trapper
K

Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,318
NW Illinois
If someone would ask my Dad where he was going? He would tell the crazy, you want to go along?


It is more blessed to give than to receive
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817502
03/25/20 09:58 PM
03/25/20 09:58 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,886
Sandhills Nebraska
G
Gary Benson Offline
trapper
Gary Benson  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,886
Sandhills Nebraska
Worthless as tits on a tomcat....


I know I'm paranoid......but am I paranoid ENOUGH???
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Gary Benson] #6817513
03/25/20 10:04 PM
03/25/20 10:04 PM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 25
CO USA
E
ermine Offline
trapper
ermine  Offline
trapper
E

Joined: May 2014
Posts: 25
CO USA
Go straight around this corner

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817528
03/25/20 10:10 PM
03/25/20 10:10 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,940
Nevada
N
nvwrangler Offline
trapper
nvwrangler  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,940
Nevada
Best way to get over one is get under a new one.

Don't get under anything you can't bench press.

And remember your allergic to penicillin.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817529
03/25/20 10:12 PM
03/25/20 10:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,886
Sandhills Nebraska
G
Gary Benson Offline
trapper
Gary Benson  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,886
Sandhills Nebraska
Go ahead and back up!!


I know I'm paranoid......but am I paranoid ENOUGH???
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817532
03/25/20 10:14 PM
03/25/20 10:14 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 4,458
West Michigan
G
Getting There Offline
trapper
Getting There  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 4,458
West Michigan
Not smart enough to pour urine out of a boot.


To Old
U.S. Army 60-63 SGT.
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817534
03/25/20 10:18 PM
03/25/20 10:18 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 254
CT
Big George W Offline
trapper
Big George W  Offline
trapper

Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 254
CT
one thing that comes to mind, my grandfather on my fathers side - in Brooklyn, as shanty Irish as one could get, and a retired member of the FDNY [1940 - 1960 ??] anyhow, Grandpa, may dad [still in the FDNY back then... mid 1970s...] my uncle George [plumber...] and me, as a child - they are all drinking the night away when all of a sudden there was a great crash, followed my grandfather yelling to my grandmother:

Edna, get the womper !!
Edna, get the womper !!

This was code words to get the mop - and my poor grandmother would obediantly do so, while the men kept getting drunker as the night went on.

What a life I had as a child when I'd visit my fathers side of the family !!

But you know what, those were very happy memories for me as well, as truth be told - this was all taking place in an apartment over a storefront on 5th ave and 82nd street in Bay Ridge Brooklyn, and times were tough - there was not a lot of money, so when weekends came and everyone was around, it was party time at Grandpas...

Edna, Get the Womper !!
Clean up this mess................ !!

Ha Ha... my grandfather was something else !!!

Typical Irish, gosh I miss them days so much................


Respect,
Big George Waters + Loki the Dog.....
East Derby CT
CTA [life member], NTA, FTA, FBU
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817537
03/25/20 10:19 PM
03/25/20 10:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
P
Pike River Offline
trapper
Pike River  Offline
trapper
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
"You're about as useful as tits on a snake"

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817541
03/25/20 10:19 PM
03/25/20 10:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
P
Pike River Offline
trapper
Pike River  Offline
trapper
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
"You're dumber than a bag of hammers"

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817544
03/25/20 10:22 PM
03/25/20 10:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
P
Pike River Offline
trapper
Pike River  Offline
trapper
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
You're about as slow as molasses in January on a northbound train.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817549
03/25/20 10:23 PM
03/25/20 10:23 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,886
Sandhills Nebraska
G
Gary Benson Offline
trapper
Gary Benson  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,886
Sandhills Nebraska
My Dad (died last year at 92) said he never saw his Dad shave himself..........Grandma always shaved him with a straight razor. There's a man that better behave himself.............


I know I'm paranoid......but am I paranoid ENOUGH???
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817551
03/25/20 10:24 PM
03/25/20 10:24 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
P
Pike River Offline
trapper
Pike River  Offline
trapper
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 2,165
Dunbar, Wisconsin
I see you looking at her......better drop a window on it before you get her pregnant.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817563
03/25/20 10:34 PM
03/25/20 10:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 350
western Oklahoma
D
Davisfur Offline
trapper
Davisfur  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 350
western Oklahoma
She looks like 2 boar coon fighting in a 50 pound sack of sweet corn.
That boys got a lot of quit in him
You could break an anvil in a sandbox with a rubber hammer!
If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his nose

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817585
03/25/20 10:51 PM
03/25/20 10:51 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,662
central arkansas
T
the Blak Spot Offline
trapper
the Blak Spot  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,662
central arkansas
Slower than a 7 year itch and 10 years behind scratchin

Slicker than snot on a brass door knob


the just shall live by faith

member FTA, NRA, SWARFTA, EAFT
1776 - the year we told a tyrant we weren't to be under a dictator
Caveat ater macula
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817605
03/25/20 11:08 PM
03/25/20 11:08 PM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 518
Wisconsin
B
Bear Tracker Offline
trapper
Bear Tracker  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 518
Wisconsin
Slicker than snot on a hoe handle
You made your bed you sleep in it
About as useful as tits on a boar pig
Looks like two grizzly bears rasslin in a gunny sack
May as well pee into the wind
Go pee up a rope
You know what a guy oughta do
Uglier than a mud fence
goo it and scew it
udderly ridiculous

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817652
03/26/20 12:30 AM
03/26/20 12:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,613
venango county,pennslyvania
minklessinpa Offline
trapper
minklessinpa  Offline
trapper

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,613
venango county,pennslyvania
boy, you could break two steel ball bearing in your pocket !


life member pennslyvania trappers
venango co leader
life member v.f.w.
member nta
member fta
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817670
03/26/20 01:40 AM
03/26/20 01:40 AM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,887
Idaho Falls, ID
F
Furvor Offline
trapper
Furvor  Offline
trapper
F

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,887
Idaho Falls, ID
Something about boys and girls sleeping together learning about body functions.

Looking for end of rope but some fool cut it off.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817674
03/26/20 03:06 AM
03/26/20 03:06 AM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 157
Matanuska Valley, Alaska
A
akroper Offline
trapper
akroper  Offline
trapper
A

Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 157
Matanuska Valley, Alaska
My grandpa's advice to me: "Never pass up the opportunity to take a leak. Never trust a fart. And never waste a (erection) even if you're alone."

His best advice ever: "Never pass up a chance to keep your mouth shut." "Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing."

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817683
03/26/20 04:43 AM
03/26/20 04:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,129
Western N. Carolina
S
Scout1 Offline
trapper
Scout1  Offline
trapper
S

Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,129
Western N. Carolina
I wish I had your body and my head--I'd make a million dollars!


-------------------------------------
America First!!
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817695
03/26/20 05:26 AM
03/26/20 05:26 AM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 350
western Oklahoma
D
Davisfur Offline
trapper
Davisfur  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 350
western Oklahoma
I wish I could buy that guy for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth. I'd get rich.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817696
03/26/20 05:31 AM
03/26/20 05:31 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,347
williamsburg ks
D
danny clifton Offline
trapper
danny clifton  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,347
williamsburg ks
never trust a man that wears a suit to work

he can't tell feces from apple butter

its colder than a well diggers rear in january

tighten your cinch and quit crying


Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817699
03/26/20 05:47 AM
03/26/20 05:47 AM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 24,826
potter co. p.a.
P
pcr2 Offline
"Twerker"
pcr2  Offline
"Twerker"
P

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 24,826
potter co. p.a.
my grampas name was Elno and he'd take grammas noel candles and change em to spell his name around xmas


quality over quantity

Hickory Garden Tradin Post

PA life #413
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817732
03/26/20 07:02 AM
03/26/20 07:02 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,491
Pennsylvania
H
Hern Offline
trapper
Hern  Offline
trapper
H

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,491
Pennsylvania
grandpa- wish I had a pair of shoes make out of it, they wouldn't wear out

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817738
03/26/20 07:17 AM
03/26/20 07:17 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 296
EC Indiana
M
MikeC Offline
trapper
MikeC  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 296
EC Indiana
My grandma, the more you stir a turd the more it stinks and their so crooked they will have to screw them in the ground when they die. Old friend that is gone, his best advice was life is easier when you hang around good people.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817750
03/26/20 07:48 AM
03/26/20 07:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,080
7mtns of CENTRAL PA
G
GROUSEWIT Offline
trapper
GROUSEWIT  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,080
7mtns of CENTRAL PA
U can't make a silk purse out or a sows ear

If they made tires out of that, they would last a lifetime (entering puberty lesson)

Hurryup and wait

If I had a nickle for every time u did that, I'd b a millionaire


NRALIFER,HUNTER,FURTAKER(PTA)(FTA)(NMTA)(RMEF)
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817751
03/26/20 07:51 AM
03/26/20 07:51 AM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,215
east central WI
K
k snow Offline
trapper
k snow  Offline
trapper
K

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,215
east central WI
Shakin like a dog crappin tacks

Smell bad enough to knock the buzzards of a crap wagon

They weren't PG though, and I got in trouble for repeating them.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817753
03/26/20 07:51 AM
03/26/20 07:51 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 658
St. Croix County, Wisconsin
T
ToTheWoods Offline
trapper
ToTheWoods  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 658
St. Croix County, Wisconsin
Ain't got the brains god gave a gophers arse

Never bring a sandwich to a buffet

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817754
03/26/20 07:54 AM
03/26/20 07:54 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,545
Hancock Co., Indiana
Kart29 Offline
trapper
Kart29  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,545
Hancock Co., Indiana
Ol' Poppie used to say, "it's rainin' pitch forks and n***** babies!"


He also used to tell me to stick the blade of my pocket knife into the ground before cutting any food with it - because the dirt would sterilize the blade.

My other grandfather would say, "A place for everything and everything in its place".

Both of them loved Jesus and followed Him until the day they died. I expect it will be a great joy when I get to worship with them around the throne of the Savior. I hope I have sons and grandsons with me there and then, too.


What from Christ that soul can sever,
Bound by everlasting bands?
None shall take thee
From the Strength of Israel's hands.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817758
03/26/20 08:03 AM
03/26/20 08:03 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,422
Nebraska
Trapset Offline
trapper
Trapset  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,422
Nebraska
"Do that one more time and I'm gonna slit your sac and put your foot through it."


www.rtssetter.com for dealer list:
RTS SETTER*RTS COLLAPSE A CUBBY *RTS SPEED GAMBREL*SCANDINAVIAN FUR TRAPPER MANUAL*TRAPPERS THANK YOU & XMAS CARDS
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817775
03/26/20 08:29 AM
03/26/20 08:29 AM
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 491
NW Mo
M
Michael Lippold Offline
trapper
Michael Lippold  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 491
NW Mo
Gpa was an onery ol man, and the best man I ever knew! My gpa had many, 2 of my favorites were:

I wish I had that(speaking of a tractor or a truck or something similar) and he had a feather up his arse and then we’d both be tickled

It’s best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt!

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817778
03/26/20 08:38 AM
03/26/20 08:38 AM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,010
Idaville, Indiana
M
MB750 Offline
trapper
MB750  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,010
Idaville, Indiana
I once hired an old man who I learned to love like he was my Grandpa. Harry came up with several sayings in the several years we wored together.
The one that I remember best & I still use is "To each his own said the old woman as she kissed the cow."


For years I have been tomstrap, now I must change because of the whims of the cyber world. NRA Endowment, ISTA Life, FTA Life, NTA
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817789
03/26/20 08:47 AM
03/26/20 08:47 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,217
SW Pa
B
Bob Jameson Offline
trapper
Bob Jameson  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,217
SW Pa
My dad had some corny sayings I recall over my lifetime.

Three that stand out:

Son you will be a man before your mother is.

When driving past a cemetery dad would say how many people are dead in that graveyard.

Boy if you are going to play with the Owls you gotta fly with the Eagles.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817791
03/26/20 08:49 AM
03/26/20 08:49 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,773
Central Pennsylvania
Nittany Lion Offline
Don't call me Mister, Mister
Nittany Lion  Offline
Don't call me Mister, Mister

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,773
Central Pennsylvania
Hokey Butchermesser.


I want to grow my own food but I can't find bacon seeds.
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817796
03/26/20 08:54 AM
03/26/20 08:54 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,863
Wi.
D
Diggerman Offline
trapper
Diggerman  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,863
Wi.
He aint never been bit by a sweat bee.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817807
03/26/20 09:03 AM
03/26/20 09:03 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 437
Omro, Wisconsin
C
Cooncuff Offline
trapper
Cooncuff  Offline
trapper
C

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 437
Omro, Wisconsin
After passing gas "That's gonna itch when it Dries"


In youth we learn, In age we Understand.
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817831
03/26/20 09:37 AM
03/26/20 09:37 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 179
Upper Michigan
M
Mack Offline
trapper
Mack  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 179
Upper Michigan
My grandmother used to say: "I dress for comfort, not speed!"

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817878
03/26/20 10:29 AM
03/26/20 10:29 AM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,058
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
trapper
Leftlane  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,058
The Hill Country of Texas

Tighter than a bulls butt at fly time
Put a little fur around it.
About a large woman: If she was hauling (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman) she would have to make 2 trips.
& when he saw a woman on a bicycle he would say "She is peddling (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman)"


If I am there it is NOT a gun free zone!
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817887
03/26/20 10:33 AM
03/26/20 10:33 AM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,409
Northeast Wisconsin
N
NE Wildlife Offline
trapper
NE Wildlife  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,409
Northeast Wisconsin
Ever since I was little when he would have to pee
He would say “I need to go shake hands with the man who
Stood up in my wedding” lol I think I was like 12 before it dawned on me
What he meant.



Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817900
03/26/20 10:48 AM
03/26/20 10:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,921
Montana
Taximan Offline
trapper
Taximan  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,921
Montana
Looking at the empty store shelves yesterday,I was reminded of one that my Grandpap used to say:
"If we had some ham,we could have some ham and eggs..............if we had some eggs! grin

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817903
03/26/20 10:50 AM
03/26/20 10:50 AM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 2,924
Sagle, ID
Wild_Idaho Offline
trapper
Wild_Idaho  Offline
trapper

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 2,924
Sagle, ID
"Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick"

and many, many lymericks which I cannot repeat here.


Real name = Eric
The sharpest hammer in the box of crayons.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817920
03/26/20 11:04 AM
03/26/20 11:04 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,526
Ames, IA
MikeTraps2 Offline
trapper
MikeTraps2  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,526
Ames, IA
Pop - "She had a face that would stop a nine day clock" (no idea what a nine day clock is)\
"If it ain't broke, don't go trying to fix it!"

MomMom - Jurtle it! (when something was stuck like a door, or the faucet leaked,( figured it was jiggle, turn, twist, wiggle all in one)


Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure

Theodore Roosevelt
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6817927
03/26/20 11:12 AM
03/26/20 11:12 AM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 720
Ashe co. mountains n.c
trapmando Offline
trapper
trapmando  Offline
trapper

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 720
Ashe co. mountains n.c
Ain't no fun when the rabbit got the gun


A trap is only a trap if you dont know about it. If you know about it, its a challenge
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818008
03/26/20 12:17 PM
03/26/20 12:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 395
new york
M
mike mason Offline
trapper
mike mason  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 395
new york
Marry a girl with a tractor. She is so ugly,she would scare a dog off a gut wagon! You move any slower,we will have to call the undertaker! Neighbor's mother always said,"if you kids don't settle down,I'll punch you blind"

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: MikeTraps2] #6818030
03/26/20 12:38 PM
03/26/20 12:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,508
laporte co. indiana
K
keystone Offline
trapper
keystone  Offline
trapper
K

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,508
laporte co. indiana
Originally Posted by MikeTraps2
Pop - "She had a face that would stop a nine day clock" (no idea what a nine day clock is)\
"If it ain't broke, don't go trying to fix it!"

MomMom - Jurtle it! (when something was stuck like a door, or the faucet leaked,( figured it was jiggle, turn, twist, wiggle all in one)

Originally Posted by MikeTraps2
Pop - "She had a face that would stop a nine day clock" (no idea what a nine day clock is)\
"If it ain't broke, don't go trying to fix it!"

MomMom - Jurtle it! (when something was stuck like a door, or the faucet leaked,( figured it was jiggle, turn, twist, wiggle all in one)


Nine day clock is a clock you’d have to wind every nine days. That is pretty funny!!!

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818245
03/26/20 04:40 PM
03/26/20 04:40 PM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 265
UP of Michigan
B
billy Offline
trapper
billy  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 265
UP of Michigan
its (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman) to get old and if you live long enough you will see it all.


Billy
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818293
03/26/20 05:19 PM
03/26/20 05:19 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 525
iowa
U
unclej Offline
trapper
unclej  Offline
trapper
U

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 525
iowa
My uncle always told us kids to fight nice.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818310
03/26/20 05:39 PM
03/26/20 05:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 785
Nebraska
1crazytrapper Offline
trapper
1crazytrapper  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 785
Nebraska
(Breaking horses) Keep a leg on each side and your mind in the middle and you'll do just fine.
(Big breasts) Looks like 2 pigs flopping in a gunny sac.
I am so old I use to ride dinosaurs.
That's harder than woodpecker lips.


Member of NFH and NRA
Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818323
03/26/20 05:55 PM
03/26/20 05:55 PM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,887
Idaho Falls, ID
F
Furvor Offline
trapper
Furvor  Offline
trapper
F

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,887
Idaho Falls, ID
My brother and I in separate boats "digging shells" (dragging wire hooks on river bottom to get muscle shells) telling each other how many 5 gallon buckets full had, my grandpa (in a nearby boat) cut in proudly saying "when I get the one I'm working on and 3 more I'll have 4."

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818843
03/27/20 02:42 AM
03/27/20 02:42 AM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 4,799
Virginia
5
52Carl Offline
trapper
52Carl  Offline
trapper
5

Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 4,799
Virginia
"Do you live close by, or did you ride your bike?"
If he caught on to me laying it down kinda thick, he'd say, " You stepped in what?"
If he was pretty sure that I might be laying it down kinda thick, he'd say, " Oh, you think so," while giving me the hairy eye.
If he got tired of listening to what I was rambling on about, he'd cover it up by saying, "Oh, you bet." That might be my favorite one because it covers every angle of what was said because he didn't say that he was betting, but projected that I should bet, but didn't indicate which way I should bet.

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818844
03/27/20 03:15 AM
03/27/20 03:15 AM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 157
Matanuska Valley, Alaska
A
akroper Offline
trapper
akroper  Offline
trapper
A

Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 157
Matanuska Valley, Alaska
My grandpa had two other sayings I remember. When some one passed gas, he'd say, "Cap'n who?"
When he passed gas, he would fart and say, "And two makes eight."

I worked with an old powder monkey as his gofer. If things weren't going well, he would always mutter, "Horse sh*t and rubber tits." I finally asked him what he meant by that, and he said, " Things ain't right if you got your hands full of either of those things."

Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818920
03/27/20 07:50 AM
03/27/20 07:50 AM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 877
La Vernia & Dallas TX
Mark June Offline
trapper
Mark June  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 877
La Vernia & Dallas TX
My grandpa owned a orchard and would hire people of all types to do work.
For years he'd tell me as I worked with him to prune trees, chop weeds, etc.; "Boy, God made sure did make people different colors!"

For years I thought that meant literal "color." Black, white, brown, yellow, etc.

I found out many years later that's not what grandpa meant as he explained to me,

"I'm not talking about outside color because we're all the same color on the inside literally. I mean God made people of "different colors" = people come in all manner of nice, polite, mean, rude, crude, fun, loving, upbeat, downbeat, and so on...."


Dallas Theological Seminary Class of 2023
https://www.dts.edu
https://www.markjuneslures.com/
Professional Predator Trapping Academy Host



Re: What's the funniest thing Grandpa used to say? [Re: Leftlane] #6818989
03/27/20 09:12 AM
03/27/20 09:12 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,194
Beaman Iowa 50
H
Horn Offline
trapper
Horn  Offline
trapper
H

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,194
Beaman Iowa 50
Marry a woman with small hands.

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