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Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914640
06/29/20 12:27 PM
06/29/20 12:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,138
Middle Tennessee
T
TNcat Offline
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TNcat  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,138
Middle Tennessee
My daughter will be 16 in October, I trust to make right decisions. She knows I will hurt anyone that doesnít respect her . Boys beware !!


IT'S A SOUTHERN THANG
Y'ALL WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND

NRA member
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914643
06/29/20 12:35 PM
06/29/20 12:35 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,754
wyoming southeast
D
danvee Offline
trapper
danvee  Offline
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D

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,754
wyoming southeast
I would be talking to your daughter, she is making the decision and all you can do is steer her right. You did not mention her age but In my experience until she is about mid 30s she is making the decision with her heart and not her head. Talk to her and give her good advice and maybe she will use some of it, or not. Most like us have to learn from experience.

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914670
06/29/20 01:27 PM
06/29/20 01:27 PM
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,857
Beatrice, NE
L
loosegoose Offline
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loosegoose  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,857
Beatrice, NE
As far as the whole driving a Ford thing, it's okay, just make sure he uses AC Delco parts on it whenever possible laugh

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914678
06/29/20 01:41 PM
06/29/20 01:41 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 225
Southern Indiana
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Pressure9pa Offline
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Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 225
Southern Indiana
I have a few college buddies who were their families' "Heir to the Family Business". One knew the family name was on the sign, and planned to work as hard as he could to honor his father and grandfather. One worked hard and cared about the business, but lacked the smarts to run it correctly and wisely sold out. The third knew he had a lifelong paycheck and used it as an excuse to behave however he wanted - although I did hear than by his mid-thirties reality had slapped him in the face and he'd matured a bit.

I know it's difficult to put that in context on an internet forum, but I'd want to learn what he expects of his business when it becomes "his". (And as a father of 7 and 11 year old girls, this post hits home.)

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914682
06/29/20 01:44 PM
06/29/20 01:44 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,691
Sandhills Nebraska
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Gary Benson Offline
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Sandhills Nebraska
The fact that she's 23 and just now getting to this point tell me you raised her right.


I know I'm paranoid......but am I paranoid ENOUGH???
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: 330-Trapper] #6914690
06/29/20 02:01 PM
06/29/20 02:01 PM
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 41
MI
T
trappingmichigan Offline
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trappingmichigan  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 41
MI
Originally Posted by 330-Trapper
Originally Posted by loosegoose
Start now. Get to know him, if there's things you don't like or that he doesn't know or understand, mentor him into the kind of man you want for your daughter. Of she loves him, there's likely nothing you can do to make her feel any different.

I raised 4

3 daughters and a Son.


The Girls couldn't be counseled ( even by their Mom , my Wife tried twice) . The Girls marry whom they will. After the divorce of one she became even more unwilling to listen to advice.

Run off the one you perceive as bad and you Could end up with worse.


Yep. I have two daughters. If you try to scare / interrogate him you could wind up alienating your daughter from you. She might side with him no matter what, even if he is an idiot. Let it play itself out and try to guide her without being pushy.

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914699
06/29/20 02:26 PM
06/29/20 02:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,574
New York border
Cragar Offline
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Cragar  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,574
New York border
Casually mention to him you go on an internet forum where every 3rd post is about a pig castrator.......... eek


NRA benefactor member
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914716
06/29/20 02:53 PM
06/29/20 02:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,122
MN
D
Donnersurvivor Online sick
trapper
Donnersurvivor  Online Sick
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,122
MN
I do not have kids but I do feel I have something to add to this thread, something I am not real happy to talk about.

Whatever you have to say to your daughters boyfriends/fiance do it before the wedding. I got along fine with my future father in law up until my wedding day, on my wedding day he made some comments towards me that were not exactly a welcome to the family. After the wedding my wifes parents did all they could to poison the relationship between my wife and I. I really did my best to provide and care for my wife but I feel like years of her parents telling her "you can do better" and constant disapproval finally got to her head, after spending 100k on treatment for her for alcohol and eating issues she decided this spring was a good time to clean out our bank accounts and leave. I'll never forget at our wedding one of my wifes good friends came up to me and quietly said "get her away from her parents", I should have taken that advice to heart.

I would recommend taking from this the following lessons
1- If you have something to say get it out well in advance of any wedding
2- Realize psychological issues are genetic, I should of seen this coming by the way my wifes grandma, mother and aunts acted.
3- Once married offer your full support to the relationship.

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914718
06/29/20 02:56 PM
06/29/20 02:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,550
williamsburg ks
D
danny clifton Offline
trapper
danny clifton  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,550
williamsburg ks
Water board him. Get all his secrets


Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914744
06/29/20 03:43 PM
06/29/20 03:43 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 3,840
Dunbar, Wisconsin
P
Pike River Offline
trapper
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Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 3,840
Dunbar, Wisconsin
Originally Posted by HobbieTrapper
Originally Posted by Donnie H
Start now...it may get worse...lol
Does he hunt, trap, or shoot ?
Got to ask about that...


He is a avid hunter, not trapping yet but has spent time in the fur shed with me.


Originally Posted by loosegoose
Start now. Get to know him, if there's things you don't like or that he doesn't know or understand, mentor him into the kind of man you want for your daughter. Of she loves him, there's likely nothing you can do to make her feel any different.



She has waited for someone like him to come along for quite sometime. She has not been in a serious relationship before mainly because she has set the bar pretty high. She went on a couple dates when she was in high school but thatís about it. She is now 23yrs old. She handles herself very well.

The job thing worries me a bit. He works for his dad in a family business, that he apparently will be taking over when his dad retires. From what Iíve seen, he isnít afraid of hard work, thatís a plus.

The only thing I donít like is the ďkeeping up with the JonesĒ talk.

Sounds like he wants to impress you and that aint a bad thing. As others have said pivot the conversation to show him what's really important.

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914751
06/29/20 03:51 PM
06/29/20 03:51 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 3,840
Dunbar, Wisconsin
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Pike River Offline
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Posts: 3,840
Dunbar, Wisconsin
Originally Posted by HobbieTrapper
Originally Posted by Catch22
Daughters, lol. Just look in her eyes, if you see happiness, let all go. If she knows your there 24/7 then all is right with the world. The best advise I have ever gotten is don't ever offer advise to a Lady who didn't ask for your advise.


This ^^^ is where Iím at. I have talked to her about the relationship and her words confirm what is written on her face.

I think Iíll wait and play it by ear when the time comes.

I appreciate everybody taking a few minutes to read and post your thoughts on this matter.



I like this



But....just in case...its good to let interested men know that you kill for money and regularly dispose of carcasses.

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: danny clifton] #6914767
06/29/20 04:03 PM
06/29/20 04:03 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 17,058
Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper Offline OP
"Chippendale Trapper"
HobbieTrapper  Offline OP
"Chippendale Trapper"

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 17,058
Eastern Shore of Maryland
Originally Posted by danny clifton
Water board him. Get all his secrets


lol



-Goofy-
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914769
06/29/20 04:04 PM
06/29/20 04:04 PM
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 130
Northwest Kansas
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obaro Offline
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Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 130
Northwest Kansas
Interesting thread being as I have 4 girls from a 17yo down to almost 10.

Only had 2 boys ask for dates so far; visited with them both a little before they went out. Both "good kids", one of them the son of some of our best friends. Told them where I was coming from, didn't threaten them at all or any way, but made it clear that they needed to look out for my daughters' well being. Told them two things to think about: Treat other people like you want to be treated, and that if you play stupid games you got to expect to win stupid prizes. Make good decisions.

I have told the girls that I would visit with their dates, especially the first times that they go out. I have told them and I hope that they realize its because it matters to me that they are looked after and that is because I care about their well being as well as the well being of the guy they are with. I figure if the guy doesn't have enough spine to visit with me a little bit it is likely he doesn't have enough spine to look after my girl if somehow they wind up in a bad or dangerous situation.


It'll be interesting to see things play out over time. My girls all have different personalities, but similar interests, so I not sure what to expect as to what guys they will bring around. I have asked them to not bring any boys, try to pick out those that have some maturity and mental stability regardless of if they are 14 or 34.

I do look forward to having some SIL's, not much gun, cowboy, or other such man talk at my house.

Last edited by obaro; 06/29/20 04:06 PM.
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914771
06/29/20 04:08 PM
06/29/20 04:08 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 28,020
james bay frontierOnt.
B
Boco Online content
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Boco  Online Content
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Posts: 28,020
james bay frontierOnt.
Make sure they know how to skin a beaver before they take your daughter out.

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914795
06/29/20 04:52 PM
06/29/20 04:52 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,022
E central Il
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Golf ball Offline
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Posts: 2,022
E central Il
He is probably a good kid but will not be any help to you down the road if you need help in the shop. Chances are his dad drives a ford to and he has never had to learn how to work on a vehicle.

My son and I just had this very conversation about a week ago . My grandson just bought his first truck and they didnít make it home with his 99 Chevy truck before the rear end went out. The two of them had a blast working together fixing this old truck. He and I both driving Fordís just never got to do any of those things. Heck maybe you two will be great buds while you teach him how to work on your stuff !

Last edited by Golf ball; 06/29/20 05:02 PM.
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: Golf ball] #6914818
06/29/20 05:22 PM
06/29/20 05:22 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 17,058
Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper Offline OP
"Chippendale Trapper"
HobbieTrapper  Offline OP
"Chippendale Trapper"

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 17,058
Eastern Shore of Maryland
lol
Originally Posted by Golf ball
He is probably a good kid but will not be any help to you down the road if you need help in the shop. Chances are his dad drives a ford to and he has never had to learn how to work on a vehicle.

My son and I just had this very conversation about a week ago . My grandson just bought his first truck and they didnít make it home with his 99 Chevy truck before the rear end went out. The two of them had a blast working together fixing this old truck. He and I both driving Fordís just never got to do any of those things. Heck maybe you two will be great buds while you teach him how to work on your stuff !


I doubt it, the Toyota and Honda both have proven themselves bullet proof. lol



-Goofy-
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914844
06/29/20 05:43 PM
06/29/20 05:43 PM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 752
Wisconsin
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Bear Tracker Offline
trapper
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Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 752
Wisconsin
If you are on trapper man asking advice for dating our daughters your probably looking in the wrong place! LOL

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6914973
06/29/20 07:03 PM
06/29/20 07:03 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 605
ny
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gcs Offline
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Posts: 605
ny
I read all the comments, some of them were true!, lol

In my experience with my daughter, you can't question, cajole or threaten a young lady about their relationships, doing so will encourage her to stay longer in a bad relationship to prove you wrong, and sometimes they make bad choices and pay for it later, what's the current divorce rate?

My son on the other hand is a good kid, good job and is looking for a relationship and a family. So far he's had girlfriends that were certifiably insane, bat turd crazy, pathological liars, possibly a serial killer, and a red head...
He's gotten good at the initial interview stage and unloads them fast now. lol.

About women, Wise man say,... even the good ones short circuit eventually!

Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6915015
06/29/20 07:50 PM
06/29/20 07:50 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 8,125
Northeast Oklahoma
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Mike in A-town Offline
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Northeast Oklahoma
Wish I had some sage advice to give. But I don't. Both of my sons-in-law are fine young men. They aren't perfect but they were good enough to take both of my daughters off of my hands. Those girls are their problems now. But so far I have a beautiful granddaughter, that's pretty cool.

I could say I got lucky, but I guess it sounds better if I say my daughters chose good men... Yeah that's it.

I'm not sure my boys will ever get married... The youngest is so awkward around girls and the oldest seems to have been born for the hangman.

Mike


One man with a gun may control 100 others who have none.

Vladimir Lenin
Re: Fathers with Daughters ? [Re: HobbieTrapper] #6915077
06/29/20 08:49 PM
06/29/20 08:49 PM
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,753
Southern Illinois
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Foxpaw Offline
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Southern Illinois
Well we have no kids of our own and I always tell them at church if you want to know how to handle kids just ask someone who has none.

But I liked it when "ole" Tim would always clean his guns when Evie had a boy over on "Last Man Standing".

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