Pastor ask congregation
#6954867
08/05/20 09:37 AM
08/05/20 09:37 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,667 se SD
rags57078
OP
Humorist
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OP
Humorist
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,667
se SD
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The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
Off in my own world
Fish on !!!!!!!
47 years in this game of trapping
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Re: Pastor ask congregation
[Re: rags57078]
#6954896
08/05/20 10:06 AM
08/05/20 10:06 AM
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 8,737 Nebraska, Dawson County
chas3457
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 8,737
Nebraska, Dawson County
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Thanks, rags. True story: One day, years ago, I was waiting in line at a Wal Mart checkout, behind a couple, and the wife's mother. I asked the guy, who was wearing sling on his left arm, what happened to him. The 'Mother-in-law' piped up and said " He tore his Labia.". The guy turned to her and said "Labrum, I tore my Labrum.". Charlie
Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm.
NRA Life Member ~ GOA Member ~ NFOA Member ~ UNMLA Member
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Re: Pastor ask congregation
[Re: rags57078]
#6954927
08/05/20 10:31 AM
08/05/20 10:31 AM
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 16,271 ny
upstateNY
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 16,271
ny
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LOL,,when I was like 16 years old,,I contracted triple E (Eastern Equine Encephalitis) the mosquito disease.Put me an a coma for a week.Neighbor lady says to my Dad,,Whats wrong with young Tony,,I heard hes in the hospital.Dad says yea,,he has Encephalitis.She says,,OH,,well don't be too mad at him,,all the young kids are getting that these days.HAhahaaaaa (this was in the mid 1970s) True story.
Last edited by upstateNY; 08/05/20 11:03 AM.
the wheels of the gods turn very slowly
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Re: Pastor ask congregation
[Re: rags57078]
#6954938
08/05/20 10:42 AM
08/05/20 10:42 AM
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Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 719 Oklahoma
We-Sa
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 719
Oklahoma
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Thanks fella's, I needed that this morning.
“I don't know, Chief, if he's very smart or very dumb.” Capt. Quint
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Re: Pastor ask congregation
[Re: rags57078]
#6955791
08/05/20 11:41 PM
08/05/20 11:41 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,667 se SD
rags57078
OP
Humorist
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OP
Humorist
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,667
se SD
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Good add on jokes guys LOL
Off in my own world
Fish on !!!!!!!
47 years in this game of trapping
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Re: Pastor ask congregation
[Re: rags57078]
#6956079
08/06/20 12:08 PM
08/06/20 12:08 PM
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 16,271 ny
upstateNY
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 16,271
ny
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Good add on jokes guys LOL Mine wasn't a joke,,,true story.
the wheels of the gods turn very slowly
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Re: Pastor ask congregation
[Re: upstateNY]
#6956083
08/06/20 12:18 PM
08/06/20 12:18 PM
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 8,737 Nebraska, Dawson County
chas3457
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 8,737
Nebraska, Dawson County
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Good add on jokes guys LOL Mine wasn't a joke,,,true story. Mine too. Happened a few years ago at the Lexington, NE. Wally-world. I don't shop there anymore, because of the Somalis, and the 'one-way' security gates at the entrances. Charlie
Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm.
NRA Life Member ~ GOA Member ~ NFOA Member ~ UNMLA Member
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