Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985068
09/07/20 09:06 PM
09/07/20 09:06 PM
|
Mark June
Unregistered
|
Mark June
Unregistered
|
Hug 'em Hug 'em again The opposite gender is formative in these years adam
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985070
09/07/20 09:10 PM
09/07/20 09:10 PM
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 476 Oregon
SpottedOwl
trapper
|
trapper
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 476
Oregon
|
Depends on the kid and the situation. But you do it quickly, fairly and solidly so they know what will happen if they try it again. One of mine I can still look at cross eyed and she’ll crumble, another could be a CIA interrogators nightmare. Just be constant/consistent with her/them.
Owl
Spend time with your kids while THEY still have time
Your life is an occasion ..... Rise to it
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985080
09/07/20 09:16 PM
09/07/20 09:16 PM
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 476 Oregon
SpottedOwl
trapper
|
trapper
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 476
Oregon
|
Also be understanding, even if you don’t understand, cause you won’t.
Owl
Spend time with your kids while THEY still have time
Your life is an occasion ..... Rise to it
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985086
09/07/20 09:20 PM
09/07/20 09:20 PM
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 16,261 Iowa
~ADC~
The Count
|
The Count
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 16,261
Iowa
|
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985121
09/07/20 09:49 PM
09/07/20 09:49 PM
|
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 1,497 Southern NJ
maintenanceguy
trapper
|
trapper
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 1,497
Southern NJ
|
The problem is that you're trying to apply logic. When hormones strike, they aren't logical. Hormones cause emotions that don't make sense. Her brain is trying to figure out the emotions as much as you are and it applies crazy logic to make sense of it. Remember that the emotions come first and the argument/logic/excuse is just her brain trying to justify the emotions.
Example: She feels like she hates everyone today even though everyone has been very nice to her. That's crazy and her brain can't make sense of it. So...her brain comes up with a reason that explains the emotion that doesn't make sense. Her brain decides that you didn't like her choice of lipstick yesterday and that must be why she hates you today. So, she yells at you about you being mean to her yesterday about her lipstick - and adds in a bunch of other stuff that you never said for good measure.
Just remember that she can't help it. She is a victim of her emotions as much as you are. For some reason, God makes them crazy from 13-15. There really isn't anything you can do to fix it. She will feel more normal in a few days.
Every kid is different. Mine was extra crazy. If it's really bad, wait until she's having a good day and have her mother talk to her about seeing a doctor. The pill evens out the highs and lows.
Last edited by maintenanceguy; 09/07/20 10:06 PM.
-Ryan
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985122
09/07/20 09:49 PM
09/07/20 09:49 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 112 Republic of CO
Cootswatter
trapper
|
trapper
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 112
Republic of CO
|
I have a 23 and a 21-year-old. Some tough times, but mostly good. My philosophy was if they got crazy hormonal, I took them trapping, hunting, and fishing. Always seemed to calm down even the worst situation. My youngest started getting crazy at 10. She is 21 and still a bit high strung, also she can out shoot me with both bow and pistol, so I better be nice. Both received full scholarships for all 4 years of college playing softball.
"I've come to chew bubble gum and to kick ars, and I'm all out of bubble gum." - Rowdy Roddy Piper - They Live
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985134
09/07/20 10:02 PM
09/07/20 10:02 PM
|
Mark June
Unregistered
|
Mark June
Unregistered
|
The analogy used often (rather than Venus and Mars) is males speak and hear in "blue" and females speak and hear in "pink." Big variance to be sure. How so? Simplistic answer is; Males work stuff out at an early age (boyhood) learning that face to face (blue) encounters are usually battles and we learn to avoid face to face. We are shoulders next to shoulders persons most often and females can't figure this blue action out. Sit on the couch next to each other. Go hunting walking side by side. Blue loves all this. To females it looks like nobody loves anybody or someone isn't paying attention in this stance! Often pink may even say blue, as two blues are "hanging out,".... "You guys getting along?" We say huh? Never better.
Why does pink ask that? Because females bond/interact/fight/love face to face! Something blue learned early not to do because you might get a nose bleed!
So your daughter would prefer a face to face encounter/battle/whatever BUT all she wants to do is for her pink to see another pink or blue to take her seriously in the moment; AND be heard. Face to face. No judgement/yelling/confrontation from the blue (at this moment). The moment may not be sensible, but that is irrelevant to pink.
I have three daughters. When pink would flare (often during adolescence) I would invite them to sit down and while blue is too often angry when we are face to face (we mean biz in this stance... remember we like shoulder to shoulder) I would firmly but sincerely invite them to speak; My blue is listening to your pink.... looking squarely at them. Face to face. No phones allowed.
All the girls still remember those words. We used them often in our house!
Blessings! Mark
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985146
09/07/20 10:20 PM
09/07/20 10:20 PM
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 21,539 Sandhills Nebraska
Gary Benson
trapper
|
trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 21,539
Sandhills Nebraska
|
you ain't seen nothin' yet. When she hits 13, it's like flipping on the brat switch. I swear to God it is! We had all boys.
Life ain't supposed to be easy.
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985149
09/07/20 10:24 PM
09/07/20 10:24 PM
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 142 Northwest Kansas
obaro
trapper
|
trapper
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 142
Northwest Kansas
|
Best I can say is I know where you are coming from;my daughters are 17,15,12 and 10. I know I haven't seen it all..........yet. They are all different Hang in there and hang with her.
I wanted to get my girls out and about and don't have many hunting buddies, so I raised some. All 4 of them took their first white tail buck at age 8 on spot and stalk hunts. We work cattle together, (which is a high tension endeavor for us if I let it be, its on me) go to lots of ball games, church functions, and whatever we can together. Seems like the more we do together the less the hormone deal flairs up for us. I have a better feel for the mood they are in and can prepare for it or maybe make a 'dad joke' or two and lighten things up. Sometimes, though, they get told to just knock it off and get over it.
I'm sure not right all of the time, but they know I care and that seems to make a big difference.
|
|
|
Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: obaro]
#6985154
09/07/20 10:30 PM
09/07/20 10:30 PM
|
Mark June
Unregistered
|
Mark June
Unregistered
|
Best I can say is I know where you are coming from;my daughters are 17,15,12 and 10. I know I haven't seen it all..........yet. They are all different Hang in there and hang with her.
I wanted to get my girls out and about and don't have many hunting buddies, so I raised some. All 4 of them took their first white tail buck at age 8 on spot and stalk hunts. We work cattle together, (which is a high tension endeavor for us if I let it be, its on me) go to lots of ball games, church functions, and whatever we can together. Seems like the more we do together the less the hormone deal flairs up for us. I have a better feel for the mood they are in and can prepare for it or maybe make a 'dad joke' or two and lighten things up. Sometimes, though, they get told to just knock it off and get over it.
I'm sure not right all of the time, but they know I care and that seems to make a big difference. I highlighted the part of your post - the unconditional love and devoted time that our daughters truly desire
|
|
|
|
|