When grandkids were doing something that they shouldn't Grandma would tell Grandpa to stop us or we'd get hurt. Grandpa just said "pain is an excellent teacher"

Arguing with idiots is like playing checkers with a pidgion. Eventually they'll crap all over the board and strut around like they won.

She is like a horse I knew.
A little narrow between the eyes.

A man is only as good as his word.

It’s drier than a popcorn fart.

You can't fix stupid.

If you're having a bad day look in the mirror he's probably the one causing it.

God, Please protect me from my worst enemy, myself.

Dad always says “A man has to fight being lazy every day he wakes up”

Never trust a skinny cook.!!!

A mans work is from sun to sun.
A woman's work is never done.

Do you know what I think is cool?
What I think is cool.

One of my favorites is never argue with a idiot because at a distance some one may not be able to tell the difference !

Hope for the best but expect the worst .

Dad always said never hire a man with clean fingernails he'll be cleaning them instead of working .

If your butt and nose itch at the same time, itch your nose first.

Yup

Forgiveness comes from ones heart not ones head

Bryce

Or hire a fat cook.

Attention to detail.
It may not be a big thing, but it's a thing.
Or in other words, it's not a big deal until it's a big deal.

A fartin horse will never tire and a fartin man is the man to hire.

Don't get under anything you cant bench press.