No Profanity *** No Flaming *** No Advertising *** No Anti Trappers ***NO POLITICS
No Non-Target Catches *** No Links to Anti-trapping Sites *** No Avoiding Profanity Filter


Home~Trap Talk~ADC Forum~Trap Shed~Wilderness Trapping~International Trappers~Fur Handling

Auction Forum~Trapper Tips~Links~Gallery~Basic Sets~Convention Calendar~Chat~ Trap Collecting Forum

Trapper's Humor~Strictly Trapping~Fur Buyers Directory~Mugshots~Fur Sale Directory~Wildcrafting~The Pen and Quill

Trapper's Tales~Words From The Past~Legends~Archives~Kids Forum~Lure Formulators Forum~ Fermenter's Forum


~~~ Dobbins' Products Catalog ~~~


Minnesota Trapline Products
Please support our sponsor for the Trappers Talk Page - Minnesota Trapline Products


Print Thread
Hop To
The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) #7176702
02/10/21 04:34 PM
02/10/21 04:34 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
"HOSS"
Leftlane  Offline OP
"HOSS"

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
A group of cowboys went to town with their pay and as the night wore on they ran out of painted ladies and surely bartenders to harass so they did what cowboys do. They started dealin' cards but they were tryin ta be smart. Instead of using money (gambling was illegal in that lil crap hole of a town) they did it Vegas style and used poker chips as markers for their cash bets.

Despite their best thought out plan, because all the other lights in town were dark by that time of the mornin, the town marshal grew suspicious because the places window were all lit up bright as an August sun rise. He (being a crafty bass [excrement]) put the sneak on their in-town hide a way and burst thru the door with his guns drawn to catch them in the act.

The ranch foreman tried to talk the marshal down and it is important to know that in that era of American history you could never be considered a super puncher, top hand, or let alone ranch foreman unless you were shady (sketchy for all you yankees) as a man could be.

"This is just a game for fun so we aren't actually gamblin' which would be against the law. See, we aren't playin' fo money, we are playin' for these worthless chips." the foreman pleaded while pointin' to the piles of chips on the card table so the marshal would hopefully let them off the hook.

"Money- paper or coin- and poker chips are the same thing in my town" the Marshall declared as he disarmed and perp marched the whole lot of them down to the lockup.

By the time the Judge finally made it to work the next morning, each cowboy was already havin' a bad day. They were behind bars, had terrible head aches, and knew that they had little chance of talkin' a city judge into returnin' what little bit was left of their pay that had been confiscated from last weeks wages. Ya see, the greedy town marshal had ignored their collection of poker chips (leaving them sit on the table) but demanded that the group hand over every last cent of cash or coin that they had in their pockets or hiden out anywhere else. To add insult to injury, they all couldn't help but notice that the same town marshal was chipper as could be b/c he knew he had stolen money from hard workin' men and that the judge was prolly gonna let his crap hole little town keep it.

Once the judge was seated behind his bench, he gazed at the lot of shackled men in his court and he asked the marshal who should be first.

The marshal turned and scanned the dusty sorry lookin group he had just drug in and pointed to the ranch foreman. He told the judge, "He should be first, he is the ranch foreman and on or off the ranch I suspect the rest of these boys are nothin' but saddle tramps conditioned to not only do anything that man tells them to but to also follow his lead in any given situation."

The judge agreed, summoned the man to stand and after askin him his name and readin the charges brought against him, ask the foreman "how do you wish to plea?".

The foreman took off his hat and stated the following while gazing downward in shame: "Your honor, the marshal here in your lil town caught me and the rest of the boys red handed last night. Ya see we drank too much and made a poor judgment call in middle of the night decidin' to gamble in your town while a the same time knowin' [darned] good and well it was against the law. For that reason I would like to plead guilty as charged, pay my fine right this minute if I can, and git back to work b/c the cattle are dependin' on me for care today no matter what happens in this court"

Of course, the judge was impressed. He thought to himself FINALLY! A man who admits when he has done wrong, offers to be financially responsible to the court while not wastin' the courts time, and best of all- is plannin on lettin my lil crap hole town not only keep his money but also put some more down in order to get out of jail and walk away in peace!

Naturally that judge was wrong. Ya see the vast majority of judges all grew up in, study law in, and practiced law in a town. They had little knowledge of how things get down outside of city limits let alone 'out on the ranch'. The judge was both surprised and somewhat angered when the foreman spoke out with his lone request "Judge, I do have just one favor to ask of you if it would please the court. Would yall be willin' to return the money your good marshal took off of me an the boys last night so I can pay all our fines in cold hard cash? If ya do that, I can promise my guys will also plea guilty so they can git back to the ranch with me w/o any further delays- work has to be done".

"Of course not!" the judge boomed. "It is NOT this courts fault that you broke the law and it is not our fair city's responsibility to ensure that you currently have the means to pay the fines for your own evil deeds! The court will offer you one small favor tho, if any one of all of yall plead guilty here and now, I will release that man be it one or 10 here and now so long as yall promise to drag the money you owe for your fines back in after pay day next week. In doing so, I will allow you to git back to work, care for the cattle, and earn money to pay my court for your own fines- do we have a deal?" he asked of the foreman.

"No your honor that wont be necessary, just tell me how much the fine is for each one of us and I'd like to pay the court right here on the spot" answered the ranch foreman.

"Excellent!" stated the judge, "I am fining you each $2 and beings there are 10 of you the total of all fines is $20!" He mused to himself that ranch foremen must make better wages than he had originally anticipated.

"May I approach the bench in order to hand you the money for our fines?" asked the foremen to which the judge agreed and stated the man could approach his bench.

At that point, the ranch foreman earned his keep! He sat back down, pulled off both boots, and turned them upside down. He then began shakin them vigorously and thumpin' them on the table in front of him repeatedly. Out came all kinds of sand, lint, and a collection of poker chips that had been pilfered and shoved down into the boots while the hired help had been too drunk to notice the night before.

The judge looked on incredulously as the ranch foreman began to sort the chips from the trash and counted aloud until he determined that he did indeed have $20 worth of poker chips at which time he put his boots back on, scooped up the worthless chips, made a bee line for the judge, and handed the chips to him with a great big grin.

The judge was of course infuriated and the louder his voice became, the bigger the ranch foreman's smile grew. "you can't pay a court fine in poker chips you idiot, you need to pay with money!" the judge shouted.

At that point the ranch foreman got cocky. He winked at the judge, spun round on his heals, and exited the court followed by all the hired men. As they passed by the town marshal, the foreman hollared back at the judge "Of course I can! Them chips is the same thing as money in your town just ask that no-account marshal of yours!" he said pointin' his finger at the befuddled town marshal grin


In case yall are wonderin' why I mentioned Rags in the title of this thread here is the answer. I wanted ol Rags to notice that he and Mark June are not the only ones who can type out huge posts but that some of us believe in rewarding our Tman brothers and sisters at the end of an excessively long read instead of makin them vow to send the OP each and every juvinile possum they can lay their hands on for the next year. If this in any way confuses a single reader, please search out and read Rag's post about A man driving down the road.


“What’s good for me may not be good for the weak minded.”
Captain Gus McCrae- Texas Rangers


Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7176749
02/10/21 05:20 PM
02/10/21 05:20 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,253
Port Republic South Jersey
N
Newt Offline
trapper
Newt  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,253
Port Republic South Jersey
Now that was not worth all that read'n


South Jersey Trapping and Snaring School
January 19-20-21 2024
NEWT -----------------OVER----------------









www.snareone.com
Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7176755
02/10/21 05:26 PM
02/10/21 05:26 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
"HOSS"
Leftlane  Offline OP
"HOSS"

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Don't you have some books to autograph an git into the mail? grin


“What’s good for me may not be good for the weak minded.”
Captain Gus McCrae- Texas Rangers


Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7176766
02/10/21 05:34 PM
02/10/21 05:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 10,468
Iowa
T
trapdog1 Offline
trapper
trapdog1  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 10,468
Iowa
Remind me not to tick of LL. The man can hold a grudge!

Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7176774
02/10/21 05:41 PM
02/10/21 05:41 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
"HOSS"
Leftlane  Offline OP
"HOSS"

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Ah phooey. Rush isn't the only harmless loveable lil fuzz ball in our great country he is just a lot better known than I am and no doubt more wealthy than all of us put together.

I am basically love and respect themselves bottled up in pearl snap shirts, starched Wranglers, and square toed buckeroo boots. Just ask Yessir's sister b/c she's been knowin me most of my adult life and I am purdy sure she loves me. She is too smart to ever let me buy her a drink (too smart by a long shot) but I still think she loves me. Anyway, she has never roped me by the heals, dallied up so short that only my face was on the ground, and then drug me across hardened ground for more than a few hundred yards at a time and from a top female hand like her that is basically true love I have always thought.
grin


“What’s good for me may not be good for the weak minded.”
Captain Gus McCrae- Texas Rangers


Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7176787
02/10/21 06:00 PM
02/10/21 06:00 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 4,822
Nevada
N
nvwrangler Offline
trapper
nvwrangler  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 4,822
Nevada
Someone needs to find Ol' leftlane a job or a hobby . Only someone that ties hard and fast would go thru this much effort for that ending LOL

Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7177018
02/10/21 08:12 PM
02/10/21 08:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,650
se SD
rags57078 Online content
Humorist
rags57078  Online Content
Humorist

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,650
se SD
LOL LL you whine more than some ol woman


Off in my own world

Fish on !!!!!!!



47 years in this game of trapping
Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: rags57078] #7177027
02/10/21 08:19 PM
02/10/21 08:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 16,261
Iowa
~ADC~ Offline
The Count
~ADC~  Offline
The Count

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 16,261
Iowa
Originally Posted by Savell
I don't read the novels.


smile

Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: nvwrangler] #7177028
02/10/21 08:19 PM
02/10/21 08:19 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
"HOSS"
Leftlane  Offline OP
"HOSS"

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Originally Posted by nvwrangler
Someone needs to find Ol' leftlane a job or a hobby . Only someone that ties hard and fast would go thru this much effort for that ending LOL


Well welcome to class slow poke. Yessir figured me out a few months back and said I only get on here to treat yall like ugly cousins when there is nobody else to talk to at a lame family reunion.

If you really have to know the past 2 days I have sat thru the most boring seminars ever put on the innerweb so that I could get my FEMA certification and continuing education hours knocked out and you sirs should thank me for my recent volley of posts and snide remarks hidden in the comments section.

Tomorrow I plan to go about livin my great life w/o givin yall bottom feeders so much as a single thought (unless it gets cold out then I will be in around 10am) LOL.

Rags- you are welcome to your own opinion. I heard they were just like bocos and that everyone has one
eek


“What’s good for me may not be good for the weak minded.”
Captain Gus McCrae- Texas Rangers


Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7177126
02/10/21 09:24 PM
02/10/21 09:24 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
J
jeff karsten Offline
trapper
jeff karsten  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
If i learned anything on this site its to read the last line first/only


olden tyred
Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7177178
02/10/21 09:52 PM
02/10/21 09:52 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
"HOSS"
Leftlane  Offline OP
"HOSS"

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
grin Yer about as grumpy as travel gnome's from the garden state ya know that Jeff?

Originally Posted by ~ADC~
Originally Posted by Savell
I don't read the novels.

smile


I see what ya did there. Please stop hatin me b/c I am beautiful ADC


“What’s good for me may not be good for the weak minded.”
Captain Gus McCrae- Texas Rangers


Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7177209
02/10/21 10:19 PM
02/10/21 10:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
J
jeff karsten Offline
trapper
jeff karsten  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
WOW I'm reeling in my chair Just when I was to compliment you on your wandering prose A true Bard of the Sagebrush a connoisseur of Verbal Etiquette you relegate me to the Travel Gnome??? I am much Taller


olden tyred
Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7177214
02/10/21 10:21 PM
02/10/21 10:21 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
Leftlane Offline OP
"HOSS"
Leftlane  Offline OP
"HOSS"

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 20,238
The Hill Country of Texas
grin

Haha so much fun pickin on short guys when they do a snide drive by comment like that. Enjoy your evenin sir


“What’s good for me may not be good for the weak minded.”
Captain Gus McCrae- Texas Rangers


Re: The best story I ever read (pay attn Rags) [Re: Leftlane] #7177221
02/10/21 10:23 PM
02/10/21 10:23 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
J
jeff karsten Offline
trapper
jeff karsten  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
Thank You I feel bettter


olden tyred
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread