ADC, You're going to give the poor guy nightmares.

Let me tell ya how I think it will go if you put your application in there Dave....

You go in put in the application, they give you a call back, you go in for the interview and get hired for second shift. You put your two weeks notice in at your two part time jobs, the factory tells you you are done now, great! more time for spring beaver. The cleaning job, you do that for your two weeks while you've put a dozen or two beaver hides in the freezer. They start out your pay at $15.50/hr. You start out working there and about a week into it you fall into a routine where you sleep until 7 am get up go run traps, come home around 11, skin your catch and get it in the freezer. Make it in the house around 1 time for lunch and short nap before you head to work at 3, you put in your 8 hours and get out at 11pm. Come home watch tv a few minutes go to bed, get up at 7 and do it again. This is great until season closes and you pull traps, then you can get out the hides a few at a time and finish them in the mornings before lunch. This is where it gets interesting,,, you no longer need the fur money to pay bills since you are making good wages. Your stress level goes down and you start to relax at work and after work.

You've worked there a couple months and your probationary period is over, you get a small raise to $16.05/hr. All's good but you feel like something is missing. One day you're working across the press from Heidi she's a widower in her early 50s. She's been working there for about 11 years, making $19.85/hour and has 3 weeks a year vacation. Her first husband left her for a younger women when she was 45 luckily her 2 kids Cindy and Bill (his real name is William) were already grown and out of the house living their own lives. She's an attractive lady with slightly over processed blonde hair (Cindy is a hairdresser). She's a few pounds over weight but seems happy now that her second husband Frank has been gone for a year and a half. You see he was an alcoholic she got hooked up with when she was on the rebound. Ironically he was a trapper too, but more on that later. He developed stage 4 lung cancer from smoking and in the end his liver gave out too. Anyway, You find you kind of enjoy your job a little more that day and you find yourself thinking a lot about her when you get home. As luck would have it, she's on the same press with you again the next day. While doing quality checks you notice she is looking at you. Yours eyes meet for an awkward second but nothing is said. At last break she mentions on the way to the break room she made a big lasagna the day before and offers to heat you up a plate if you'll stop by her place after work. You can't pass up a free meal so of course you go over there. Well the lasagna was the best you ever you had and she grilled some fresh garlic bread to go with it, brand name parmesan cheese too!!! You watch a little Matlock and head home around 1:30, after promising you'll make supper next time.

The next day at work you walk in with her. She's working across the plant today, bummer. You can get a peek at her every once in a while and she catches you and grins. You take your breaks together where you learn a little more about her. Turns out she worked for furrier when she was young and is very proficient at skinning mink and muskrats. You decide its time to put on the moves so you invite her over for supper after work Friday night. She accepts and arrives at your place where you serve her a beaver hind quarter and potato from the crockpot, with a nice cool glass of tap water on your best paper plates! After supper and a little small talk you pull up a milk crate next to your recliner for her and flip on a seductive video, Beaver Sites and Sets by Dobbins. While you're watching you realize she's actually looking at you and find her hand has slipped over on your leg (Dobbin's does this to women). Well, I won't go into details but bow chicka wow wow, I'll just say, you miss the end of the video and little coonman110 is very happy.

Well from there this relationship blossoms and grows. You find yourself spending a lot of nights in her waterbed (no leaks and the heater works!). Finally she asks you to move in and let her take care of you,,, well being a long time bachelor you hesitate to give up your glamours lifestyle but when she shows you Franks fur shed he left fully stocked with traps, lures, gauntlets, and coincidentally he wore the same size waders you do! 4 new in the box pairs!!! Then she leads you to the garage where his 2014 Toyota Tacoma 4x4 with only 25K miles, NEW tires and NO cracks in the manifolds!!! factory undercoated too! Topper with side doors and tinted glass so you can access traps but no one can see your business! Says you may as well drive it, it's just been setting there. Well his gun collection in the house safes seals the deal and you move in the following week.

Your luck is running good and its only two weeks before trapping season. You use your vacation strategically to make many a long weekend and pile up the furs, which of course she helps you skin, flesh and board as well as making sure you have a hot meal in the house and Oscar Mayer Bologna sandwich (she knows its your favorite) in your lunch box everyday. You're doing so well you just throw away all the raccoon wiener bones with the carcasses and don't even give em a second thought! Season goes on and you do very well. As Christmas rolls around you decide to make her an honest woman and buy her the third best engagement ring Walmart had. You figure giving it to her on Christmas gets you out of buying her a real Christmas present (you sly dog!). It works and she says yes. Well, season is over Jan 31st and because you're now working and really in no hurry to get the money you just, without even contemplating on it, box them furs up and ship them to FHA. You know they'll eventually sell but whenever is fine.

You two go to the justice of the peace and make it official. I now present Mr. & Mrs. Dave Coonman220! Middle of Feb and you're scheduled for your knee replacement surgery (your insurance from work covers the whole thing and gives you a leave of absence without penalty for the recuperation time). Along comes August and you're feeling pretty spry. Little coonman110, never been happier! You decide its time for a proper honeymoon, so you gather up an old mattress to toss in the back of the Toyota and you're off to the Iowa Trappers Association convention, yes its almost 45 miles away but you don't even care! You've got that 9th stimlous Biden sent AND you're fur check from FHA burning a hole in your pocket. You buy a few things only haggling a little on the prices. You head out to the Toyota where you and her spend the night testing out the springs on the Toyota (It's your honeymoon after all!). Back to the convention Saturday morning but no smoking deals so you leave. Lunch at McDonald's on the way home (dollar menu, lets not get crazy).

Back to work the next week. You carry on like this happy and stress free a few more years and she suggests you take early retirement. Well you hadn't thought of that and really enjoy working but when she pointed out she'd continue to work and since the house and vechiles are all paid for, you could collect SS and trap full time, like a good wife moocher. So it's been decided. You have no more work, all the money you need from SS, stimlouses, and her savings. You have a dependable truck without cracks in the manifold. You have a new pain free knee, and nothing but time and Matlock to think about. Life is great and you and Heidi live happily ever after!

OR, you don't fill out the application, keep working your nasty low paying jobs, can hardly make ends meet and a week before you retire you have a accident when the frame from your old vechile rusts out during a high speed chase from a mexican woman cop. End up with a second wrecked knee and have to move into a home with a african american man with a big bulge in his pocket for a roommate.

The choice is up to you my friend. Please put in the application.

Dang ADC !! What's the address to that place? If that's the way it's gonna go, I want to get a job there just so's I can meet Heidi. I would let her make me the king of her double wide trailer. Does she make a good chicken fried steak with gravy? How many guns does she have in that gun safe? Has she got a hot tub? Always wanted to be a kept man. Come on now ADC , give it up. I'll even promise her that I will mow the grass once a month if she's got a zero turn.

ADC there is something wrong with your story. When Coonman invites her over for supper the first time after work on Friday night,,, I thought the job was Monday through Thursday. Lol

You forgot to mention Heidi is a retired middle school English teacher and loves tutoring spelling, grammar and listening skills!

Let me tell ya how I think it will go if you put your application in there Dave....

You go in put in the application, they give you a call back, you go in for the interview and get hired for second shift. You put your two weeks notice in at your two part time jobs, the factory tells you you are done now, great! more time for spring beaver. The cleaning job, you do that for your two weeks while you've put a dozen or two beaver hides in the freezer. They start out your pay at $15.50/hr. You start out working there and about a week into it you fall into a routine where you sleep until 7 am get up go run traps, come home around 11, skin your catch and get it in the freezer. Make it in the house around 1 time for lunch and short nap before you head to work at 3, you put in your 8 hours and get out at 11pm. Come home watch tv a few minutes go to bed, get up at 7 and do it again. This is great until season closes and you pull traps, then you can get out the hides a few at a time and finish them in the mornings before lunch. This is where it gets interesting,,, you no longer need the fur money to pay bills since you are making good wages. Your stress level goes down and you start to relax at work and after work.

You've worked there a couple months and your probationary period is over, you get a small raise to $16.05/hr. All's good but you feel like something is missing. One day you're working across the press from Heidi she's a widower in her early 50s. She's been working there for about 11 years, making $19.85/hour and has 3 weeks a year vacation. Her first husband left her for a younger women when she was 45 luckily her 2 kids Cindy and Bill (his real name is William) were already grown and out of the house living their own lives. She's an attractive lady with slightly over processed blonde hair (Cindy is a hairdresser). She's a few pounds over weight but seems happy now that her second husband Frank has been gone for a year and a half. You see he was an alcoholic she got hooked up with when she was on the rebound. Ironically he was a trapper too, but more on that later. He developed stage 4 lung cancer from smoking and in the end his liver gave out too. Anyway, You find you kind of enjoy your job a little more that day and you find yourself thinking a lot about her when you get home. As luck would have it, she's on the same press with you again the next day. While doing quality checks you notice she is looking at you. Yours eyes meet for an awkward second but nothing is said. At last break she mentions on the way to the break room she made a big lasagna the day before and offers to heat you up a plate if you'll stop by her place after work. You can't pass up a free meal so of course you go over there. Well the lasagna was the best you ever you had and she grilled some fresh garlic bread to go with it, brand name parmesan cheese too!!! You watch a little Matlock and head home around 1:30, after promising you'll make supper next time.

The next day at work you walk in with her. She's working across the plant today, bummer. You can get a peek at her every once in a while and she catches you and grins. You take your breaks together where you learn a little more about her. Turns out she worked for furrier when she was young and is very proficient at skinning mink and muskrats. You decide its time to put on the moves so you invite her over for supper after work Friday night. She accepts and arrives at your place where you serve her a beaver hind quarter and potato from the crockpot, with a nice cool glass of tap water on your best paper plates! After supper and a little small talk you pull up a milk crate next to your recliner for her and flip on a seductive video, Beaver Sites and Sets by Dobbins. While you're watching you realize she's actually looking at you and find her hand has slipped over on your leg (Dobbin's does this to women). Well, I won't go into details but bow chicka wow wow, I'll just say, you miss the end of the video and little coonman110 is very happy.

Well from there this relationship blossoms and grows. You find yourself spending a lot of nights in her waterbed (no leaks and the heater works!). Finally she asks you to move in and let her take care of you,,, well being a long time bachelor you hesitate to give up your glamours lifestyle but when she shows you Franks fur shed he left fully stocked with traps, lures, gauntlets, and coincidentally he wore the same size waders you do! 4 new in the box pairs!!! Then she leads you to the garage where his 2014 Toyota Tacoma 4x4 with only 25K miles, NEW tires and NO cracks in the manifolds!!! factory undercoated too! Topper with side doors and tinted glass so you can access traps but no one can see your business! Says you may as well drive it, it's just been setting there. Well his gun collection in the house safes seals the deal and you move in the following week.

Your luck is running good and its only two weeks before trapping season. You use your vacation strategically to make many a long weekend and pile up the furs, which of course she helps you skin, flesh and board as well as making sure you have a hot meal in the house and Oscar Mayer Bologna sandwich (she knows its your favorite) in your lunch box everyday. You're doing so well you just throw away all the raccoon wiener bones with the carcasses and don't even give em a second thought! Season goes on and you do very well. As Christmas rolls around you decide to make her an honest woman and buy her the third best engagement ring Walmart had. You figure giving it to her on Christmas gets you out of buying her a real Christmas present (you sly dog!). It works and she says yes. Well, season is over Jan 31st and because you're now working and really in no hurry to get the money you just, without even contemplating on it, box them furs up and ship them to FHA. You know they'll eventually sell but whenever is fine.

You two go to the justice of the peace and make it official. I now present Mr. & Mrs. Dave Coonman220! Middle of Feb and you're scheduled for your knee replacement surgery (your insurance from work covers the whole thing and gives you a leave of absence without penalty for the recuperation time). Along comes August and you're feeling pretty spry. Little coonman110, never been happier! You decide its time for a proper honeymoon, so you gather up an old mattress to toss in the back of the Toyota and you're off to the Iowa Trappers Association convention, yes its almost 45 miles away but you don't even care! You've got that 9th stimlous Biden sent AND you're fur check from FHA burning a hole in your pocket. You buy a few things only haggling a little on the prices. You head out to the Toyota where you and her spend the night testing out the springs on the Toyota (It's your honeymoon after all!). Back to the convention Saturday morning but no smoking deals so you leave. Lunch at McDonald's on the way home (dollar menu, lets not get crazy).

Back to work the next week. You carry on like this happy and stress free a few more years and she suggests you take early retirement. Well you hadn't thought of that and really enjoy working but when she pointed out she'd continue to work and since the house and vechiles are all paid for, you could collect SS and trap full time, like a good wife moocher. So it's been decided. You have no more work, all the money you need from SS, stimlouses, and her savings. You have a dependable truck without cracks in the manifold. You have a new pain free knee, and nothing but time and Matlock to think about. Life is great and you and Heidi live happily ever after!

OR, you don't fill out the application, keep working your nasty low paying jobs, can hardly make ends meet and a week before you retire you have a accident when the frame from your old vechile rusts out during a high speed chase from a mexican woman cop. End up with a second wrecked knee and have to move into a home with a african american man with a big bulge in his pocket for a roommate.

The choice is up to you my friend. Please put in the application.

Hallmark channel material, for sure.