Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Grandpa Trapper]
#7277216
06/01/21 12:48 PM
06/01/21 12:48 PM
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 25,692 nm
adam m
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You guys are hitting on a lot of behaviors the fellow I mentioned displays. His lack of empathy for others is frightening. I don't know if his superiors see it or not but it definitely has an impact on the work environment. I'm debating addressing it. Be careful in addressing it. A true narcissist will end up attacking you not admitting he/she did anything wrong. I was a school and mental health counselor for many years and dealt with these kind of people. They are very hard to deal with. As Hobbie says, he may look in the mirror and say he’s wrong. However, true narcissists will look in the mirror and say they are right and think people are attacking them. Once a narcissi thinks they are attacked, they seldom let up on a grudge against the person they think that did them wrong. They may talk to your face very nice, but they will always be plotting usually trying to defame the accuser to somebody else. . X2. Also a better way to handle this situation is learn how to deal with their gaslighting. Narcissists use gaslighting well. Gaslighting is manipulation to the extreme level.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Posco]
#7277232
06/01/21 01:11 PM
06/01/21 01:11 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,475 WI>>>MN >>>WI
T-Rex
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I've got two brothers, one and a half, actually. The older half brother is a sociopath, the younger one is a narcissist. I'm not sure what label they have for me; but, I'm sure it is just as complementary.
Man who mistake shillelagh for fairy wand; see pixie dust, also.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: HobbieTrapper]
#7277244
06/01/21 01:40 PM
06/01/21 01:40 PM
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 25,692 nm
adam m
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“Gaslighting”, what are you, 21-22? Hahaha. It's an actual medical term mental health professionals use.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: adam m]
#7277275
06/01/21 02:46 PM
06/01/21 02:46 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,602 Oregon 66
bfflobo
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Self centered, arrogant speech and behavior, lack of empathy, makes everything your fault, critical of others etc... Read the definition and it will describe Obama to a T. Many other politicians fit the description well. Could name a few trappers that we all know the names of. I won't mention names but if you read the definition things will make sense. I think we all have a few of the traits at times but some shine with it 100%.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: HobbieTrapper]
#7277303
06/01/21 03:19 PM
06/01/21 03:19 PM
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 11,194 Maine, Aroostook
Posco
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OP
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Address it, it can be changed. It won’t likely be changed by his superiors but He needs to be made aware so he can look in THAT mirror. We have management upon management upon management where I work. Top-heavy. Back during the early stages of COVID, we had a new manager come into our department which the fellow I mentioned competed with for the position. Luckily, he didn't get the job but he decided to try and enlist me in his efforts to undermine the guy at every turn. After becoming very uncomfortable with where he was trying to go, I called him out and asked him what his real problem was. He quickly changed the subject and never brought it up again. I went to that new manager early on and let him know I wasn't part of the rebellion. I did not go into detail, I just let him know I wanted no part of it. He had already sensed it and said he appreciated me letting him know. I've been working with this guy for three years and it has become very wearisome. Everyone acknowledges he never shuts up and can't tolerate not being the center of attention. I'm going to buck him in earnest and see where it goes. I can only imagine. I'll let you know in a week or so how he responds.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Posco]
#7277315
06/01/21 03:39 PM
06/01/21 03:39 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,032 Coldspring Texas
Savell
"Wilbur"
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"Wilbur"
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... dang Posco... wish you luck.. but I’m starting to think you may have to jerk that narcissist’s britches down and give a barebutt whipin with a rolled up poster of a cross-dressed midget
Insert profound nonsense here
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Savell]
#7277318
06/01/21 03:42 PM
06/01/21 03:42 PM
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 11,194 Maine, Aroostook
Posco
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... dang Posco... wish you luck.. but I’m starting to think you may have to jerk that narcissist’s britches down and give a barebutt whipin with a rolled up poster of a cross-dressed midget I won't rule that out. Thanks for the moral support.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Posco]
#7277319
06/01/21 03:42 PM
06/01/21 03:42 PM
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,366 New York border
Cragar
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I've been working with this guy for three years and it has become very wearisome. Everyone acknowledges he never shuts up and can't tolerate not being the center of attention. I'm going to buck him in earnest and see where it goes. I can only imagine. I'll let you know in a week or so how he responds.
Be very careful with that. One thing a narcissist can NOT stand is being called out and identitied as a narcissist. It is like kryptonite. However , then you release 'narcisstic rage' which means the narcissist will never let up on you for life. They will seek out any way to harm you or discredit you forever.
NRA benefactor member
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: HobbieTrapper]
#7277323
06/01/21 03:48 PM
06/01/21 03:48 PM
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Joined: Nov 2017
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Posco
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How you tell him will be as important as what you tell him. Especially if you have not shared friendly conversation in the past. He'll talk to me for hours on end just so long as it's something he wants to talk about and he'll do it on company time at the expense of getting things done. Countless times I've told him I needed to get back to work...and I work for him. He has a cockiness about him he doesn't mind displaying to upper management. At first I thought the guy was just extremely confident in himself. Then I thought he was just simply arrogant. I've moved beyond the arrogance, I think he is a bona fide narcissist.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Cragar]
#7277325
06/01/21 03:49 PM
06/01/21 03:49 PM
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 28,715 Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper
"Chippendale Trapper"
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"Chippendale Trapper"
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Eastern Shore of Maryland
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I've been working with this guy for three years and it has become very wearisome. Everyone acknowledges he never shuts up and can't tolerate not being the center of attention. I'm going to buck him in earnest and see where it goes. I can only imagine. I'll let you know in a week or so how he responds.
Be very careful with that. One thing a narcissist can NOT stand is being called out and identitied as a narcissist. It is like kryptonite. However , then you release 'narcisstic rage' which means the narcissist will never let up on you for life. They will seek out any way to harm you or discredit you forever. That is a miserable existence for the narcissist and will either change them or destroy them. It has to be done.
-Goofy-
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Cragar]
#7277333
06/01/21 03:57 PM
06/01/21 03:57 PM
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 11,194 Maine, Aroostook
Posco
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 11,194
Maine, Aroostook
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Be very careful with that. One thing a narcissist can NOT stand is being called out and identitied as a narcissist. It is like kryptonite. However , then you release 'narcisstic rage' which means the narcissist will never let up on you for life. They will seek out any way to harm you or discredit you forever. That's sound advice. My work ethic and character is fairly well established there and though he can make life hard for me, I'm not sure he can do much to threaten my job. His cavalier attitude toward work leads to quite a few mistakes on his part. Most of the time he can cover his tracks or he just makes light of it. He's a very capable individual but he's jaded and bitter toward our employer. If he ups the ante, I'll see him and raise him one.
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Posco]
#7277345
06/01/21 04:14 PM
06/01/21 04:14 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 481 Montana
Deerkiller
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Montana
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Have you ever known one personally, and if so, how did you deal with them? I think I work with one. I'm losing my sense of humor having to deal with the individual, but the problem is, the guy is in management and I work under him. My ex wife thank God I didn’t have any kids with her!
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: Posco]
#7277348
06/01/21 04:20 PM
06/01/21 04:20 PM
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 34,761 Central, SD
Law Dog
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Lay it on the line tell him you don’t like his me, me attitude and stop dealing with the guy as much as possible get him out of your world if you want to live in peace. Worked with a guy his whole world was thinking he could fool others about his OCD issues constant lying and manipulating others to do what he did not want to deal with. Tried to support the guy but he never sought the help he needed he just burned bridges and found new suckers to do his dirty work for him.
Was born in a Big City Will die in the Country OK with that!
Jerry Herbst
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Re: Narcissist...do you know one?
[Re: HobbieTrapper]
#7277362
06/01/21 04:46 PM
06/01/21 04:46 PM
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,366 New York border
Cragar
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New York border
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Two things I have heard that work with a narcissist.
1) RUN and run far away. Never engage with the narc again ever. Even to bash them or point out their failures. A narc even feeds off of that. They desire attention so bad that even bad attention is something they can use. 'Ghosting' a narc with no contact forever hurts them quite a bit.
2) Professional mental help and only if the narc wholeheartedly wants to change ( extremely rare) You cannot change a narc. They think nothing is wrong with them and everything else in the world is messed up.
Facts.
NRA benefactor member
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