You are so lucky that your family doesn't come to see you. Sounds like heaven.

Interesting thought when it's put that way.

Sgt I get your frustration.
I have friends whi are family and family that are strangers. I know nothing about my nieces and nephews. My oldest nephew graduated this year wasn't even told when he'll graduate let alone when the party is.

X2
It's more peaceful without the drama for sure

That is the truth!!
My closest family doesn't even speak English (as their first language).

I have always stood for what I believe in and is right, and expressed that. I have swallowed a lot of pride and even set my beliefs aside for my blood family and my wife for to long. I will no longer, I decided this a few years ago. They live and associate with life styles and dishonesty I cannot be associated with. My view is pretty black and white. I have told them so and if they do not like my positions they have made the choices they have made. I cannot go through life being a hypocrite to myself, to please others. I cannot associate with people that live immoral lives and are dishonest in so many ways. My wife and children understand my perspective, my brother and mother as well. All the rest are outside my world.
I cannot even associate with them on any level when they deny what we were taught and raised with. Even being around them now, implies I accept their views, and I cannot do it.

Most people tend to be selfish, or caught up in their own lives, work, or drama, and family get togethers can be strained by old insults, imagined or real, jealousy, or by just being difficult people...

I wouldn't bother sending another olive branch, or call them, I'll bet none of them notices.

I had to fire my brother, who was always difficult, after my folks passed... he was a secret , he thought, alcoholic that burned all his bridges, wouldn't accept help till even his kids bailed on him....I offered to do what I could but eventually I had to let him go, but that only works if your guilt free...

They may be family, but that doesn't mean you have to like them.
,

SGT.C,
Sorry to hear of what you describe as crap.
I'll give you a perspective from another angle and you can toss it in the pile you decide.

You describe wanting a relationship.
It seems, in your brief description others may not.
We are relational beings, created as such.... so you have that "urge."

What I do in ministry is the "opposite" of what family and friends "often" try to do, and these are ok, as family REALLY REALLY yearns for a relationship!
Family and friends, in pursuit of relationship tries to fix, heal, save, or rescue the person they seek a relationship with.
But, realize, you can only control "you." How do you act when they don't want fixing? Do you smile and shrug shoulders or get angry? When you try to heal relationships and they say no thanks, how do "you" take it? Screw them? Or oh well.

It ain't easy but it makes what I do rather simple. Just be present NOT trying to fix, save, heal, or rescue. Just park in proximity of the relationship which is really just a physical presence with each other. Hang out, in other words.

You know, many people, because of their personality or upbringing, seem unable to NOT try to fix, heal, save, or rescue others in a family or friendship - which may be viewed as trying to control the other person - and those others may sense all the fixing attempts going on, and view it as "advice they don't want" and say screw this or screw you for trying.

Put down the spears and just smile and be among them if they allow it. If they don't allow it, maybe go through this theme with them and see what they say.

Most families I deal with are ALL caught up in trying the fix, save, heal, or rescue each other and the whole thing is... as you say.... crap.

Good luck.
Blessings,
Mark

I don't seem to have any family any more, I never seen any around when I was sick and needed a bit of help a few years ago.

Mark I respect and understand what you are saying. Sgt. C and I are different in that he is still seeking that relationship. I have been where Sgt. C is but cannot in good concisions be around family that live or accept alternative life styles, stab me and my wife in the back, and not even show any remorse for what they do or have done. Being around that to me condones their lives and I do not and cannot do that. Sgt. C there comes a point where you have done all you can and one has to accept who you are what you believe and live your life. Best

I have yet to hear a person as they leave this world proclaim with glee (as some seem to be saying)
"I sure am glad I proved my point to so and so!"

I hear quite the opposite.

Do they have to look like us? Smell like us? Think like us? Act like us? to get a stamp of our approval?
There's always been diversity.
There will always be diversity.

My point was I can only control what I do.
Same for y'all.
That's as far as my power cord reaches.

Example: I had a couple's son this week screaming, cussing, and throwing a fit - at his mom and dad - in a hospital room - as an Advanced Directive was being considered by mom (who's dying) and dad. I understand grief and I understand the son is upset his mom won't be among us for very much longer, but mom and dad wanted him, their only son, to understand mom's wish. Son did not. I simply suggested that he "consider" his dying mom's wish. He did not. Even for a moment.
F-bombed his way out the ICU door as he left.
You see >>>> He wants to tell mom how she should act, even when she is the one gravely ill.

See how some of this works? You strip it all down to the bare bones and what have we got? Pride? Anger? Revenge? Envy? Who knows.

SGT.C: Good luck sir.
It ain't easy when us humans are involved!

I know that sometimes it's hard as a busy adult to find the time to get together. I would love to see my family more often, but it doesn't always work out. Don't give up on them, just try again later.

If you burn that bridge, it may be gone forever.

I haven't had any contact with my brothers since my parents last few weeks back in 2008.

Come to think of it I had very little contact with them before that.

Life is good.

Why would anyone highlight the fact that they lit the match?

Mark June,
You're getting pretty smart in your old age. Lol

I agree 100% with what you posted above.

SW,
Well the old fits like a glove.
Not sure about the smart .

Blessings,
Mark

Well, it's done. I'm not one for postponing the inevitable. I made it clear to all tonight. Sad on hand and feel free on the other. The right thing at times cost dearly, but, is needed to move forward.

Thanks to all the advice. This is way I reached out for a very personnel time in my life. Thanks for all and the T-man family. Time to get busy living or get busy dying. Sarge

well I would say just hold your tongue ,and go see them. be the better person , I have a brother that left right after high school , for 36 years and now in later life wonders why he don't know are family ,he moved all over the country , this was his choice I tell him ,

There is always that one person in the family that gets offended by every little thing they perceive as a personnel slight. Always causing drama .Maybe you need to ask yourself who that person is?