Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284202
06/11/21 10:55 PM
06/11/21 10:55 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,208 AR
TurkeyWrangler
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,208
AR
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You are so lucky that your family doesn't come to see you. Sounds like heaven.
Poor people have poor ways.
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: TurkeyWrangler]
#7284204
06/11/21 11:03 PM
06/11/21 11:03 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223 Midlands South Carolina
SGT. C
OP
trapper
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OP
trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Midlands South Carolina
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You are so lucky that your family doesn't come to see you. Sounds like heaven. Interesting thought when it's put that way.
Getting old is a fatal mistake
Always looking for reloading componets
I know a beaver or two, because I've seen a beaver or two
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284221
06/11/21 11:47 PM
06/11/21 11:47 PM
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 25,694 nm
adam m
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 25,694
nm
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You are so lucky that your family doesn't come to see you. Sounds like heaven. Interesting thought when it's put that way. X2 It's more peaceful without the drama for sure
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284298
06/12/21 07:09 AM
06/12/21 07:09 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,557 coastal ny
gcs
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,557
coastal ny
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Most people tend to be selfish, or caught up in their own lives, work, or drama, and family get togethers can be strained by old insults, imagined or real, jealousy, or by just being difficult people...
I wouldn't bother sending another olive branch, or call them, I'll bet none of them notices.
I had to fire my brother, who was always difficult, after my folks passed... he was a secret , he thought, alcoholic that burned all his bridges, wouldn't accept help till even his kids bailed on him....I offered to do what I could but eventually I had to let him go, but that only works if your guilt free...
They may be family, but that doesn't mean you have to like them. ,
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284317
06/12/21 07:48 AM
06/12/21 07:48 AM
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Mark June
Unregistered
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Mark June
Unregistered
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SGT.C, Sorry to hear of what you describe as crap. I'll give you a perspective from another angle and you can toss it in the pile you decide. You describe wanting a relationship. It seems, in your brief description others may not. We are relational beings, created as such.... so you have that "urge."
What I do in ministry is the "opposite" of what family and friends "often" try to do, and these are ok, as family REALLY REALLY yearns for a relationship! Family and friends, in pursuit of relationship tries to fix, heal, save, or rescue the person they seek a relationship with. But, realize, you can only control "you." How do you act when they don't want fixing? Do you smile and shrug shoulders or get angry? When you try to heal relationships and they say no thanks, how do "you" take it? Screw them? Or oh well.
It ain't easy but it makes what I do rather simple. Just be present NOT trying to fix, save, heal, or rescue. Just park in proximity of the relationship which is really just a physical presence with each other. Hang out, in other words.
You know, many people, because of their personality or upbringing, seem unable to NOT try to fix, heal, save, or rescue others in a family or friendship - which may be viewed as trying to control the other person - and those others may sense all the fixing attempts going on, and view it as "advice they don't want" and say screw this or screw you for trying.
Put down the spears and just smile and be among them if they allow it. If they don't allow it, maybe go through this theme with them and see what they say.
Most families I deal with are ALL caught up in trying the fix, save, heal, or rescue each other and the whole thing is... as you say.... crap.
Good luck. Blessings, Mark
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284539
06/12/21 01:52 PM
06/12/21 01:52 PM
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Mark June
Unregistered
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Mark June
Unregistered
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I have yet to hear a person as they leave this world proclaim with glee (as some seem to be saying) "I sure am glad I proved my point to so and so!" I hear quite the opposite. Do they have to look like us? Smell like us? Think like us? Act like us? to get a stamp of our approval? There's always been diversity. There will always be diversity. My point was I can only control what I do. Same for y'all. That's as far as my power cord reaches. Example: I had a couple's son this week screaming, cussing, and throwing a fit - at his mom and dad - in a hospital room - as an Advanced Directive was being considered by mom (who's dying) and dad. I understand grief and I understand the son is upset his mom won't be among us for very much longer, but mom and dad wanted him, their only son, to understand mom's wish. Son did not. I simply suggested that he "consider" his dying mom's wish. He did not. Even for a moment. F-bombed his way out the ICU door as he left. You see >>>> He wants to tell mom how she should act, even when she is the one gravely ill. See how some of this works? You strip it all down to the bare bones and what have we got? Pride? Anger? Revenge? Envy? Who knows. SGT.C: Good luck sir. It ain't easy when us humans are involved!
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284636
06/12/21 05:50 PM
06/12/21 05:50 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,523 WI>>>MN >>>WI
T-Rex
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,523
WI>>>MN >>>WI
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I haven't had any contact with my brothers since my parents last few weeks back in 2008.
Come to think of it I had very little contact with them before that.
Life is good.
Man who mistake shillelagh for fairy wand; see pixie dust, also.
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: Tailhunter]
#7284707
06/12/21 07:44 PM
06/12/21 07:44 PM
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Mark June
Unregistered
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Mark June
Unregistered
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If you burn that bridge, it may be gone forever. Why would anyone highlight the fact that they lit the match?
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284735
06/12/21 08:11 PM
06/12/21 08:11 PM
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 12,383 South Ga - Almost Florida
Swamp Wolf
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 12,383
South Ga - Almost Florida
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Mark June, You're getting pretty smart in your old age. Lol
I agree 100% with what you posted above.
Thank God For Your Blessings! Never Half-Arse Anything!
Resource Protection Service
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284747
06/12/21 08:39 PM
06/12/21 08:39 PM
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Mark June
Unregistered
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Mark June
Unregistered
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SW, Well the old fits like a glove. Not sure about the smart . Blessings, Mark
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Re: Time to tell the Family
[Re: SGT. C]
#7284777
06/12/21 09:33 PM
06/12/21 09:33 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223 Midlands South Carolina
SGT. C
OP
trapper
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OP
trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Midlands South Carolina
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Well, it's done. I'm not one for postponing the inevitable. I made it clear to all tonight. Sad on hand and feel free on the other. The right thing at times cost dearly, but, is needed to move forward.
Thanks to all the advice. This is way I reached out for a very personnel time in my life. Thanks for all and the T-man family. Time to get busy living or get busy dying. Sarge
Getting old is a fatal mistake
Always looking for reloading componets
I know a beaver or two, because I've seen a beaver or two
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