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Some words of wisdom about drinking #7315745
07/28/21 11:38 AM
07/28/21 11:38 AM
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,870
Mn
N
nightlife Offline OP
trapper
nightlife  Offline OP
trapper
N

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,870
Mn







The Value of a Drink "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman)
happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not



�Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.�
― Robert A. Heinlein
Re: Some words of wisdom about drinking [Re: nightlife] #7315746
07/28/21 11:43 AM
07/28/21 11:43 AM
Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 8,866
Indiana
P
Providence Farm Offline
trapper
Providence Farm  Offline
trapper
P

Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 8,866
Indiana
It's hard to get the pizza delivery without the wheels.

Re: Some words of wisdom about drinking [Re: nightlife] #7315755
07/28/21 11:55 AM
07/28/21 11:55 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 15,594
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
T
Trapper7 Offline
trapper
Trapper7  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 15,594
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
Those are all funny, but none will ever compare to Cliff Clavin's buffalo explanation. I have repeated that so many times, I know it from memory, it's hilarious!


I don't care how nice the hand soap smells, you should never walk out of the restroom sniffing your fingers.
Re: Some words of wisdom about drinking [Re: nightlife] #7315783
07/28/21 12:22 PM
07/28/21 12:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 9,154
Alaska and Washington State
W
waggler Offline
trapper
waggler  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 9,154
Alaska and Washington State
I was in the Anchorage airport the other day with my crewmen. We ran into a fisherman friend at the airport who was on his way home, as were we. He was so drunk from celebrating a very successful fishing season that he had missed four connecting flights in a row (he had been drinking at an airport bar).

My Russian crewman made the comment; "Americans drink when they are happy, Russians drink when they are sad".

I thought that was an interesting observation.


"My life is better than your vacation"
Re: Some words of wisdom about drinking [Re: nightlife] #7315889
07/28/21 03:35 PM
07/28/21 03:35 PM
Joined: May 2021
Posts: 148
Illinois
M
Mortz Offline
trapper
Mortz  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: May 2021
Posts: 148
Illinois
Work is the curse of the drinking man

Re: Some words of wisdom about drinking [Re: nightlife] #7315896
07/28/21 03:47 PM
07/28/21 03:47 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,198
Midlands South Carolina
S
SGT. C Offline
trapper
SGT. C  Offline
trapper
S

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,198
Midlands South Carolina
I can't remember. Sarge


Getting old is a fatal mistake

Always looking for reloading componets

I know a beaver or two, because I've seen a beaver or two
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