I have not read through all the posts,So if this info is a repeat I apologize !
Things no one told me when I quit drinking
By Weston Frank
1. You Find out who your friends are. As cliché as it sounds, you will find that all the friends you thought you had, will seemingly disappear. Drinking is one of the biggest recreational activities for our area. Without being a member of that “club” you will find you won’t be invited or in some cases welcome in some of the circles you once hung around in. No one wants to even consider they may have an alcohol problem, especially individuals who actually have a problem. It’s almost as if they believe being around someone sober will make them sober as well, as if it’s a sickness to be caught. There is no doubt that choosing to be sober, will cost you a few relationships.
2. You will forever have to explain why you don’t drink. One of the most annoying things of choosing sobriety is forever explaining why you are sober. No one ever asks a meth addict why they chose to stop using. For some reason our society has decided that one drug is acceptable and one isn’t, even though they both ruin lives, and even kill people all the time. From now on, when you enter social situations that people are drinking, you will be offered a drink or two. When you decline, people will try to tell you, one won’t kill you... you can try to keep saying no thanks, but most the time you end having to explain that you quit drinking. Sometimes that’s a good enough answer and they’ll leave you be, other times they will pry and ask why. It’s up to you to decide if you want to tell them or not. I personally embrace my story. Tell them why I made my choice.
3. You will not do the same things you always did. It’s always good to stay away from the places and activities that you drank at during the first phase of getting sober. Eventually when things stabilize, you will be ok with visiting the old bar, going to a concert, or watching a football game with friends. Referring back to #1 you’ll find that doing some of those things will show you some of those friends you lost, and some of the experience will show you that the experience was more about the drinking than was about the friendship or activity.
4. There will be days you never think about drinking, there will be days you wonder why you ever quit.... you might even slip and try again.... it will always lead back to the same conclusion... the reasons for you to quit, far out weight the reasons to keep drinking.
5. It’s ok to screw up... seriously... you’re human, making mistakes happen. Don’t let anyone beat you up over messing up now and then. This is your decision and your life.
6. You find out who you friends are. Yes... again... just as you lose friends, you’ll find the ones that stick around are the real deal. You might even meet some new ones that turn out to be pretty fantastic too.
7. Your mind will never be clearer. Making the choice to quit drinking opens up a door in the mind. You will see things you never noticed before, about yourself and others. Some of this will tie into how your relationships are affected.
8. You will be accused of being an (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman). Some will call it blunt, or crass. Really, it’s just you recognizing situations that are harder than they need to be, and looking at them with an extremely realistic view. Part of the reason some of us drink is to escape the reality and gravity of things in our lives. Taking that element away forces us to face a lot of things head on. It also forces us not to sugar coat it... IT IS WHAT IT IS...
9. Do sobriety your way. If you like AA or outpatient treatment, GREAT! If not, that’s ok too... just understand you will need to talk about your feelings and emotions to someone. You will need to figure out how to cope with everyday struggles. You DON’T have to do that alone. I personally don’t attend AA anymore. I think it works great for some folks, I enjoyed some of it, but not all of it. I found a lot of great audio books and podcasts of people like us just talking about the problems they face, and it helped, just to hear that we’re not alone.
10. Try new things. Boredom and self-loathing are a killer in sobriety. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere. Do something you’ve never done before. Me... I got into several things. Until I found a few that really hit home with me. I’m a 30-year-old man, and I love sewing baseball caps. I put vintage advertising patches on hats, and use big & old leather sewing machines to do it. I enjoy it very much, and I even make a couple bucks now and then. Find something to put your time and energy into. Find something that is all about making you happy.
11. You have to be selfish when it comes to you. Being sober is not all roses and rainbows. There is an adjustment period. Sobriety has to come before everything else in life. This might mean cutting some people out of your life who are just bad for your mental health and your sobriety.
12. It’s ok for others to drink. Do not become a self-righteous (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman) who condemns all those that drink. One of my biggest struggles in sobriety was finding a middle ground with my wife. We both drank and partied. I had a problem, she didn’t. After you sober up your tolerance is very low for people who are inebriated. You have to find that middle ground, and understand your problems is not their problem. It’s up to them to decide if they should drink or not, not you. Fortunate for me, I have an extremely supportive wife, and we found an excellent middle ground.
13. CALL ME. Find someone you can call when things are tough... and just say... I’m having a pretty bad day... allow them to remind you what you’re working towards.
14. Never give up. You may stumble and fall, and it’s ok. As long as you get up again and walk the right direction. Life is a beautiful thing, don’t waste it..
