Re: I've never met James.
[Re: FairbanksLS]
#7366325
09/28/21 11:05 AM
09/28/21 11:05 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,180 Oregon
beaverpeeler
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,180
Oregon
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It was soooooooo cold the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets!
My fear of moving stairs is escalating!
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Re: I've never met James.
[Re: FairbanksLS]
#7366617
09/28/21 05:05 PM
09/28/21 05:05 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 17,379 Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
James
"Minka"
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"Minka"
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 17,379
Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
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That's not me. It's my doppelgänger.
Catch any otters in those traps, 3 Fingers?
Jim
Forum Infidel since 2001
"And that troll bs is something triggered snowflakes say when they dont like what someone posts." - Boco
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Re: I've never met James.
[Re: FairbanksLS]
#7366696
09/28/21 06:29 PM
09/28/21 06:29 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 17,379 Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
James
"Minka"
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"Minka"
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 17,379
Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
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There's a shipwreck, and a group of survivors find themselves in a life raft in the middle of the Pacific.
A short distance away bobs another life raft, empty of people, but full of provisions: food, freshwater, and a two-way radio on which they can call for rescue. But between the two rafts is a school of hungry great white sharks.
Among the passengers on the first raft is a Catholic priest. Clutching a rosary, he says to the captain, "Don't worry. I'll get the other raft. The good Lord will protect me!" He dives into the water and swims only a few strokes before he's eaten alive.
Another man, a Baptist minister, steps forward. "Never fear! I'll put my faith in Jesus to protect me!" Swims halfway to the other raft when the sharks tear him to pieces.
A third voice is heard above the clamoring passengers. "I'll get it." A man in a three-piece suit dives in and, with an effortless sidestroke, swims to the other raft, grabs a bowline, puts the line between his teeth, then does a lazy backstroke to the first raft, towing the raft full of provisions.
"That's astonishing!" the captain says.
"Well, you see," the man in the suit says, climbing back aboard, "I'm a lawyer."
"But why did the sharks leave you alone?"
"Professional courtesy."
Jim
Forum Infidel since 2001
"And that troll bs is something triggered snowflakes say when they dont like what someone posts." - Boco
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Re: I've never met James.
[Re: ~ADC~]
#7366760
09/28/21 07:55 PM
09/28/21 07:55 PM
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,420 New York border
Cragar
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,420
New York border
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
Taller. Kinda makes me wonder what happens if you give a lawyer Preparation H ?
NRA benefactor member
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Re: I've never met James.
[Re: Cragar]
#7366907
09/28/21 09:36 PM
09/28/21 09:36 PM
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,144 Ohio
BuckMink
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,144
Ohio
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
Taller. Kinda makes me wonder what happens if you give a lawyer Preparation H ? guess it depends on whos bun hole
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Re: I've never met James.
[Re: FairbanksLS]
#7367000
09/28/21 11:28 PM
09/28/21 11:28 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 17,379 Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
James
"Minka"
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"Minka"
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 17,379
Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
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Bryce, do you know any good lawyer jokes?
Jim
Forum Infidel since 2001
"And that troll bs is something triggered snowflakes say when they dont like what someone posts." - Boco
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Re: I've never met James.
[Re: FairbanksLS]
#7367005
09/28/21 11:49 PM
09/28/21 11:49 PM
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 16,577 Oakland, MS
yotetrapper30
trapper
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trapper
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 16,577
Oakland, MS
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A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?” The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?” Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um, no.” The lawyer interrupts, “Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?” The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. “Or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!” The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea.” On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”
~~Proud Ultra MAGA~~
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