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Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388348
10/26/21 06:50 AM
10/26/21 06:50 AM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,133
Firth, Nebraska
jabNE Offline
trapper
jabNE  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,133
Firth, Nebraska
Does it matter?


Money cannot buy you happiness, but it can buy you a trapping license and that's pretty close.
Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388359
10/26/21 07:26 AM
10/26/21 07:26 AM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Mark June Offline
trapper
Mark June  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Orthodox Christians have argued (discussions back and forth) that ^^^^^ answer would be..... no.
The dealings of a burial or a cremation simply reflects on the person and the family's love for one another.
It has been my experience, that a family with a history of familiar issues and tensions going into end-of-life issues, or death, goes one of two ways; they come together, or they fight worse.
One of my most memorable Emergency Department bereavement supports, was an Italian man, 58 years old, who died on his birthday. Had moved from NY to TX a few years back.
Collapsed while watching TV of a heart attack, was able to call 911, but died as he arrived at the hospital.
His family, including his wife of many years, their kids and grandkids were the most vocal group I've ever had at time of death, and the ED staff called the security team, but I stepped in and asked security to please not usher them out of the hospital, but to please give us a few minutes as the family cried (very loudly) in the trauma bay room.

Incredibly, after about 15 minutes, the room settled down and a son of the patient started first.... repentance. Full on! Started telling everyone he'd hurt, lied to, cheated, stole from, messed with, he was sorry. Then the next son did the same. And round and round the room it went as all 11 people repented to the others and telling them how sorry they were for the bad things they'd done.
Mom went last. She was a mess with tears, but asked them all with a pretty stern voice at first, "why you all never did this while your father was alive to see it! Your father was sick all the time for all the stuff happening in this family."

I assisted that Italian family that final day for the patriarch of the family and before the funeral home came for the body, we all gathered around, I was asked to pray, and I thanked God for times in our lives when through the hardest of times, God pricks our hearts, we're allowed to see the clearest, because these moments are not ever forgotten.

My hope and prayer is that some of you will allow your families to grieve properly as this family did, one last time, when the time comes.
It may, in some instances, unload one generation's junk, so they don't carry it on to the next, which is most typical.
Laying it all, at the feet of the cross, at a funeral or memorial is the perfect time to do so.

Blessings,
Mark



Dallas Theological Seminary
https://www.dts.edu
https://www.markjuneslures.com/
Predator Trapping Academy Host



Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388471
10/26/21 10:12 AM
10/26/21 10:12 AM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,194
SW WI
trapper20 Offline
trapper
trapper20  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,194
SW WI
cremated, no funeral service, just a small party!

Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388477
10/26/21 10:22 AM
10/26/21 10:22 AM
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 8,692
Maine, Aroostook
Posco Offline
trapper
Posco  Offline
trapper

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 8,692
Maine, Aroostook
You're not safe, not in death. I repaired this mausoleum after some local kids vandalized it. I was ankle deep in human remains. I'm going in a hole...I ain't worth shoveling for.

[Linked Image]

Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388544
10/26/21 12:03 PM
10/26/21 12:03 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 12,185
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
T
Trapper7 Offline
trapper
Trapper7  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 12,185
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
Before my dad passed away, he said his funeral was all paid for; wouldn't cost us kids anything.
When he died, we met with the funeral director and found out "paid for" isn't always what it means.
His funeral was to be open casket and burial in a cemetery.

It seems there were plenty of extra charges not accounted for in his prepayment: Transporting body from nursing home to funeral home which was a total of 8 city blocks = $800.
Newspaper ad = $300. Prepping body for ID by a family member = $300. Use of funeral home for service $900.

We decided we would do a cremation and no viewing with a burial in the cemetery where he had purchased a plot alongside my mother.

To make a long story short, it costs almost an additional $3,000 in the end. The money was no big deal, IMO. What was a big deal was the funeral home falsely selling him a prepaid funeral.


9 out of 4 Biden voters regret their decision.
Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388557
10/26/21 12:16 PM
10/26/21 12:16 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 851
iowa
T
trappinia Offline
trapper
trappinia  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 851
iowa
23 years as a firefighter trying not to get burned , bury me ,and I paid for the plot I want to use it all .

Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388616
10/26/21 01:43 PM
10/26/21 01:43 PM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Mark June Offline
trapper
Mark June  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Just worked up some figures last month on a burial in Texas (average cost) because so many people ask me. I'm not involved in anything other than pastoral support, but people seem to think a lot about the cost at the end-of-life, and some think cremation is so much less.

Average creation services A-Z, from assisting with the body, memorial service, all the way to an urn = $10,700.
Average for burials with average cost plot and all the rest = $12,800.

Average wedding now costs $39,000 so you could bury 3 or 4 for the festivities of a wedding these days.
If you're talking dollars and cents that is.

I know money doesn't grow on trees, but a funeral memorial is best done right, not cheap.

Did a bereavement support a month ago that was the opposite of right. Prayers were hardly finished and the good-byes still lingering in the air, when the SIL said out loud, "Ok, that was fun. Let's get back the school in time for the kid's baseball tournament!" Grandma hardly gone, and we're worried about 12 year olds playing baseball.

Don't blame the Gen Z's ya'll. They do what they're being taught. By us.

Blessings,
Mark


Dallas Theological Seminary
https://www.dts.edu
https://www.markjuneslures.com/
Predator Trapping Academy Host



Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388636
10/26/21 02:00 PM
10/26/21 02:00 PM
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 5,622
SW Georgia
W
Wanna Be Offline
trapper
Wanna Be  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: May 2018
Posts: 5,622
SW Georgia
Cremated. No funeral. Per my wishes, they will rent out the local Ag Pavilion and have a good ole party. No crying allowed. I want everyone who wants to show up, whether they liked me or not, to be there as well. Tell stories, eat BBQ and catfish, and when they leave, they’ll now have another memory of me.

Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388637
10/26/21 02:02 PM
10/26/21 02:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 12,185
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
T
Trapper7 Offline
trapper
Trapper7  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 12,185
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
My funeral won't cost anywhere near that. I want to be cremated, no service, and my ashes dumped in my favorite fishing lake.


9 out of 4 Biden voters regret their decision.
Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388720
10/26/21 04:02 PM
10/26/21 04:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 316
PA
woodchuck Offline OP
trapper
woodchuck  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 316
PA
Well I'm claustrophobic, too many stories of grave robbers opening caskets and finding scratching, etc. So cremated for me.
My Aunt had her plot already paid for by her and with her parents...everything done/paid for back in 1946. Cremated here (400 miles from cemetery) so had that as extra but was expected. Now cemetary where everything was paid for started adding new charges, basically saying the plot already had 2 and couldn't have her even though original document said 4 were allowed. Finally got things straightened out for an additional 2 grand. Also found out the cemetary was bought by a nationwide business and is known for "marking" up services, a monopoly I guess you'd call it.
Anyways my reason. Something heard is some place sells biodegradable holders with dirt your ashes can be mixed with and have a tree seed in it and planted anywhere.

Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388748
10/26/21 04:47 PM
10/26/21 04:47 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,229
Midland, Michigan
Rusty Axe Camp Offline
trapper
Rusty Axe Camp  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,229
Midland, Michigan
Originally Posted by woodchuck
Well I'm claustrophobic, too many stories of grave robbers opening caskets and finding scratching, etc. So cremated for me.


Burned in a cardboard box at 1800*F, then run through a industrial garbage disposal seems a lot more peaceful.


To each their own on funeral processes. A lot more to grieving than people would believe.

To all the folks who got screwed over by funeral homes, most all prepaid funerals are are insurance policies through am insurance company, not the local funeral home. They have to be sold by a licensed insurance agent. If there is a discrepancy, it should be cut and dry or it's insurance fraud. I'm guessing a lot of times, folks go in and make arrangements and either never follow through with paying or put down a portion and the kids think its paid in full. Next of kin has the right to scrap those plans and do whatever they want and pocket the money too.





Erik Johnson
Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388823
10/26/21 06:40 PM
10/26/21 06:40 PM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Mark June Offline
trapper
Mark June  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Had a family today getting set to take 41 year old lady (mom) with cancer to hospice care from the hospital setting.
Hospice asked mom if she had made any "end-of-life" arrangements? She said no, and asked her children (no husband or partner involved - not unusual) age 13 and 14 "what do you guys want?"
Que the tears from the children.
Children of course aren't at all prepped for these situations, but as a culture we raise multitudes of youngins now with,"what do you want?" from an age of 2, so they do what anybody does when they don't want to make a decision.... they deflect back to mom. "Mom what do you want?"
Mom can probably only think about being 41 and saying goodbye before Thanksgiving, so she is not equipped mentally to think straight today...
Children can probably only think about mom not living much longer and their world is about to cave in big time...

So Hospice nurse waits a few minutes and asks again,"Well, I'm sorry, but we really need to figure this out soon."

Mom then says what 99.9% say to try and help those left behind.. "I think we should save money."
Silence and tears from mom and children.

Mom then asks me, Mark what do you think?
So, advice is not what we do, right?
But as a believer I can help them understand more than the world teaches; money, death as defeat, shame in illness and dying so young, all if it.
So, I look right at mom, and a 13 and 14 year old boy and girl, and offer, "God doesn't care about money and neither do you right now. You love each other and have been through all of this together. Why don't you take mom home and let's get her comfortable and all the rest of this will be handled (I look at the Hospice nurse). Guys, there's gonna be some really hard days ahead, and you know what, there is gonna be some really deep and meaningful days ahead too. Let's help y'all get through all of it together... together (I repeat on purpose.)"

You see, we take the human relationship outta death and suffering and in fact we try to get through it as fast as we can as easily as we can. And it messes people up = trauma, grief, physical and mental strife as a result. Too often, we joke and make light and say, what do I care, I won't be here anyway. Well, those you love and who love you remain.
As we say now: Just saying.
Just a thought from someone in the trenches y'all.

Please, for those you love, let us give death the reverence God intended. It is explicitly related to how we're made in God's Image. Birth and death are the two most worshipful moments in humanity.
We are tempered through suffering and the more we understand the theology of that, big time evident at death.... the clearer we see the Misseo Dei (Mission of God) of Christ on the Cross for those who are lost.

Blessings,
Mark


Dallas Theological Seminary
https://www.dts.edu
https://www.markjuneslures.com/
Predator Trapping Academy Host



Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7388862
10/26/21 07:29 PM
10/26/21 07:29 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,197
St. Louis Co, Mo
B
BigBob Offline
trapper
BigBob  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,197
St. Louis Co, Mo
Buried at the Veterans National Cemetery at Jefferson Barracks with all my Brothers and Sisters that served our country, what ever is cheaper, in corpus or ashes in a jar


Every kid needs a Dog and a Curmudgeon.

Remember Bowe Bergdahl, the traitor.

Beware! Jill Pudlewski, Ron Oates and Keven Begesse are liars and thiefs!
Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: BigBob] #7388911
10/26/21 08:02 PM
10/26/21 08:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,651
East-Central Wisconsin
B
bblwi Offline
trapper
bblwi  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,651
East-Central Wisconsin
Cremation

Bryce

Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: Mark June] #7389360
10/27/21 08:34 AM
10/27/21 08:34 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,229
Midland, Michigan
Rusty Axe Camp Offline
trapper
Rusty Axe Camp  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,229
Midland, Michigan
Originally Posted by Mark June
You see, we take the human relationship outta death and suffering and in fact we try to get through it as fast as we can as easily as we can. And it messes people up = trauma, grief, physical and mental strife as a result. Too often, we joke and make light and say, what do I care, I won't be here anyway. Well, those you love and who love you remain.

As we say now: Just saying.

Just a thought from someone in the trenches y'all.

Please, for those you love, let us give death the reverence God intended. It is explicitly related to how we're made in God's Image. Birth and death are the two most worshipful moments in humanity.
We are tempered through suffering and the more we understand the theology of that, big time evident at death.... the clearer we see the Misseo Dei (Mission of God) of Christ on the Cross for those who are lost.

Blessings,
Mark


Spot on.

Again, to each their own, but as much as it seems the thing to do at the time, making it quick and and (potentially) inexpensive, isn't always the best for the friends and loved ones left behind. People need a chance to properly grieve or as others have mentioned, it typically comes back to the surface someway somehow. Funeral gatherings of some kind are a part of that. Doesn't have to be a drawn out thing with a bronze casket, 100's of floral arrangements and a huge granite marker, but people need something. As mentioned, a party with a BBQ, beer and photo boards or slideshows of pics and folks standing around telling stories sometimes fills this spot as well as a formal funeral inside a church (sorry Mark wink ) All depends on the person. But having a friend or loved one be part of your life for a long time (hopefully) and then one day they die and expecting them to just be gone and life moves on is not realistic or healthy mentally. People need to pump the brakes and take a moment to process.

Now to answer the OP original question, me, I'm having a traditional funeral. Casket, flowers, crying, hugging, laughing, my Pastor there, a couple songs, buried in a cemetery with a nice marker and everyone can go stuff their faces and tell more stories about me.




Erik Johnson
Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7389410
10/27/21 09:26 AM
10/27/21 09:26 AM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Mark June Offline
trapper
Mark June  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Erik,
You nailed it sir. I have no issues with a good old time at a wake, a memorial, a funeral or whatever name we call it. Heck yah! More the better. Bring it!
You also hit that nail on the head when you said, "crying, hugging, laughing, my Pastor there, a couple songs, buried in a cemetery with a nice marker and everyone can go stuff their faces and tell more stories about me." That's the key. All should be about the person who is no longer on earth and every emotion that brings up.

I was at a memorial recently at a church and wonderfully instead of the casket being in the back (when did that start to happen), the pastor and family had the castor placed up front and everyone came in, service was conducted, and respects were paid as they say, and people were crying, and laughing, and hugging, and arguing (a bit)....
but I noticed that it seemed that only the deceased's immediate family members, grieving as necessary, were the ones not peering at cell phones.
Many in the room were "living" not where their feet were, but somewhere else while they sat in the memorial.

I thought people only took their phones to the bathroom with them but it seems tech now invades even our most precious moments.
The tyranny of the urgent I guess.



Dallas Theological Seminary
https://www.dts.edu
https://www.markjuneslures.com/
Predator Trapping Academy Host



Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: Mark June] #7389478
10/27/21 10:30 AM
10/27/21 10:30 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,651
East-Central Wisconsin
B
bblwi Offline
trapper
bblwi  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,651
East-Central Wisconsin
"Show up physically but mentally and emotionally searching for the cheapest gas or the best deal on trash bags"! Sympathy for the loss with no empathy, which allows us to disengage from the moment of integrity and deal with our own issues real and or imagined.

Bryce

Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7389778
10/27/21 04:00 PM
10/27/21 04:00 PM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Mark June Offline
trapper
Mark June  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 7,554
Texas - Michigan
Amen Bryce.


Dallas Theological Seminary
https://www.dts.edu
https://www.markjuneslures.com/
Predator Trapping Academy Host



Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7389845
10/27/21 04:58 PM
10/27/21 04:58 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 12,569
Finally run aground in TN
Scuba1 Online happy
"color blind Kraut"
Scuba1  Online Happy
"color blind Kraut"

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 12,569
Finally run aground in TN
When that time comes I'll hopefully be dead and so it makes not never minds to me at that point


I do all my own stunts ..... but never intentionally .................. Let's go Brandon
Re: Buried or cremated? [Re: woodchuck] #7472570
01/25/22 01:51 PM
01/25/22 01:51 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 41,525
Northern Maine
Bruce T Offline
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Bruce T  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 41,525
Northern Maine
Buried for me.


Nevada bound
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