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Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading #7443313
12/27/21 11:47 PM
12/27/21 11:47 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,649
se SD
rags57078 Offline OP
Humorist
rags57078  Offline OP
Humorist

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,649
se SD
Enjoy this funny & laugh as much as I did when I posted it years ago:
A story of "warmth" -
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badarse compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbuck.
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck...OH CRAP! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can.
Oh Crap.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-gun got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DANG-IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know – I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring Him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been whining about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
~Author Unknown


Off in my own world

Fish on !!!!!!!



47 years in this game of trapping
Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443317
12/28/21 12:01 AM
12/28/21 12:01 AM
Joined: Aug 2020
Posts: 223
MN
M
MnJag Offline
trapper
MnJag  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Aug 2020
Posts: 223
MN
No wetting just laughing till u cry. Thanks that's great!

Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443326
12/28/21 12:19 AM
12/28/21 12:19 AM
Joined: Mar 2021
Posts: 231
Michigan
P
PFC Davis Offline
trapper
PFC Davis  Offline
trapper
P

Joined: Mar 2021
Posts: 231
Michigan
That experiment sounds fun. Got any Ether? Jk grin


A good life tip:

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Matthew 7:3
Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443329
12/28/21 12:29 AM
12/28/21 12:29 AM
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 6,190
Kansas
Pawnee Offline
trapper
Pawnee  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 6,190
Kansas
Funny stuff thanks


Everything the left touches it destroys
Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443363
12/28/21 06:28 AM
12/28/21 06:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,574
NH
T
trapNH Offline
trapper
trapNH  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,574
NH
I like it.

Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443367
12/28/21 06:34 AM
12/28/21 06:34 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 29,750
williamsburg ks
D
danny clifton Offline
"Grumpy Old Man"
danny clifton  Offline
"Grumpy Old Man"
D

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 29,750
williamsburg ks
Great story.

no way I let my 9 year old grandson read it. He has two kids bows and i have cans of ether and pyrodex both.....


Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443370
12/28/21 06:42 AM
12/28/21 06:42 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,103
7mtns of CENTRAL PA
GROUSEWIT Offline
trapper
GROUSEWIT  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,103
7mtns of CENTRAL PA
Kinda like some local kids puttin a mixed up case of tannerite in a junk car!


NRALIFER,PRPA LIFER,HUNTER,FURTAKER
Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443402
12/28/21 07:42 AM
12/28/21 07:42 AM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 13,964
Michigan
T
Trapper Dahlgren Offline
trapper
Trapper Dahlgren  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 13,964
Michigan
that's a great story , had me a good laugh , thanks

Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443526
12/28/21 10:55 AM
12/28/21 10:55 AM
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,683
Newark, Ohio 83 years
Actor Offline
trapper
Actor  Offline
trapper

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,683
Newark, Ohio 83 years
Very funny Rags... as usual. It kind of reminds me of the time I found the can of carbide in the basement... Oh well that is another story.

Garry-


“Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.”

Have been trapping 77 years…
Re: Around 10 years old < don't wet yourself reading [Re: rags57078] #7443566
12/28/21 12:03 PM
12/28/21 12:03 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3,009
ohio
T
tomahawker Offline
trapper
tomahawker  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3,009
ohio
Tried the flaming arrow, found it would just shoot threw whatever we tied on, resulting in the flame falling on the ground or feet. If straight up it would land on yer chest. Went with sparklers!! Also for a good party trick, sprinkle black powder in an ash tray. Lots of fun!!

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