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End of life question. #7445230
12/29/21 11:38 PM
12/29/21 11:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,252
western mn
B
bucksnbears Offline OP
trapper
bucksnbears  Offline OP
trapper
B

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,252
western mn
My father is in tough shape and I think his time is very near.
He's very private and really has no $$.
About all I know is he wants to be cremated and want no funeral.
Very simple man.
I know nothing about this stuff and will the one carrying the brunt of it.
I guarantee he will want the easiest/cheapest way to get this done.
Any advice on how to handle this?
Mn if that makes a difference?
What steps do I take if I get that call?


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445236
12/29/21 11:44 PM
12/29/21 11:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 23,492
New Hampshire
N
Nessmuck Offline
trapper
Nessmuck  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 23,492
New Hampshire
Call the funeral home…they will come and get him….they will do the cremation…and hand you the Ern…Did this for my dad,and he just wanted to be buried at the Veterans Cemetery…plain and simple…the way he wanted it. No Funeral ,no wake, …Cuz he said he hated going to them.


It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445245
12/29/21 11:50 PM
12/29/21 11:50 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
J
jeff karsten Offline
trapper
jeff karsten  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,951
rogers city mi.
Funeral (visitation) is for the Family as a show of support don't know your family size, closeness or religion speaking for myself Cremation is the less expensive and more convenient Here in Mi. the ashes can be taken and spread at any personal and private place and a memorial service held if thats one's wishes


olden tyred
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445247
12/29/21 11:53 PM
12/29/21 11:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 171
new york
B
banchee Offline
trapper
banchee  Offline
trapper
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Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 171
new york
ok so nobody wants to respond, my old man died last year of cancer/covid he was a logger his whole life no retirement no jack shitea , no money. my sister had him creamated he was in a cardboard box when he went in the furnace, they gave her a plasctic bag of his ashes in a card board box. cost about 800.00 i think she said just to burn him uo in a furnace. we spread his aches in the woods among the hemlock and white pines .so your prob loking at about a grand with no head stone cemetary plot or embalming. hope this helps a still miss my dad every day banchee


TOMMY HAYES
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445252
12/29/21 11:56 PM
12/29/21 11:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 62,661
Minnesota
330-Trapper Offline

trapper
330-Trapper  Offline

trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 62,661
Minnesota
Sorry To hear this bucksnbears...
I just went through this with my Uncle...Very Tough

Pm me if you need.

Nessy is correct, the Funeral director helped me 99.999% of the way


NRA and NTA Life Member
www.BackroadsRevised@etsy.com




Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445260
12/30/21 12:01 AM
12/30/21 12:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 25,692
nm
A
adam m Offline
trapper
adam m  Offline
trapper
A

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 25,692
nm
You can buy urns online probably much cheaper than the funeral home.
Funeral home will do most of the work.
You can prepay for it too.
Another thing to consider where will you store the ashes and or spread them? Some graveyards have places to place urns, others will allow you to bury the urn in a plot.
Headstone no headstone?

I'm sorry to hear this.

Last edited by adam m; 12/30/21 12:02 AM.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445267
12/30/21 12:11 AM
12/30/21 12:11 AM
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 796
Alberta
N
Norwestalta Offline
trapper
Norwestalta  Offline
trapper
N

Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 796
Alberta
I don't have any advice to give you but please accept my condolences.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445274
12/30/21 12:17 AM
12/30/21 12:17 AM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,849
ohio
Ohio Wolverine Offline
trapper
Ohio Wolverine  Offline
trapper

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,849
ohio
I donated my body to science , they can use it for medical school or a body farm .
Used to have my organs for donation , but when you donate your body to science , they can't be harvested , so stopped that donation , who wants a 70 year old heart or whatever ?
My eyes used to be 20/15 , but getting worse by the week .
So my kids don't have to worry about a funeral , or an expense .
If I can , I still plan to just disappear where no one will find me .
But that's getting hard to do any more .
Never did or will care for people taking advantage of someone's old age and health or death .
Why would a doctor want to do hip surgery on a 90+ year old that is dying from cancer ?
Yet some will try to do it .
I'm dead to the world , so if it does some good , fine .
They send the ashes to my oldest daughter when it's all over with .
Hope they have a cookout and party , and not worry about my ashes .
Except I want them dumped around a tree I started from seed .


We have met the enemy and the enemy is us!
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445276
12/30/21 12:20 AM
12/30/21 12:20 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 17,787
MN
1
160user Offline
trapper
160user  Offline
trapper
1

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 17,787
MN
I just planned my own last wishes and like your Father, want the cheapest easiest thing. For me, I saw no reason to spend $1,000 on a plot not one will visit. Dump my ashes in the woods where I want to be. Funerals and associated expenses only benefit the living. Hopefully he has a will. I have seen many family turn on one another bickering over trivial stuff. If you want to talk or need more details, I am happy to help.


I have nothing clever to put here.





Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445277
12/30/21 12:21 AM
12/30/21 12:21 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 304
Mountain Home, Arkansas, Baxte...
K
Kent Smith Offline
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Kent Smith  Offline
trapper
K

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 304
Mountain Home, Arkansas, Baxte...
Bucksnbears

Very sorry to hear about what is before you.

I would suggest if there are more than one funeral home in your area to call them, describe your needs based upon what he has told you and get a price. Not all places will have the same price and then visit the one you have selected and do an eye to eye visit.

They should advise you if cremation is done within 3? days there should not be an expense for embalming. You are the client and don't let them work on your emotions to buy more than what is needed, if funds are limited. If he was a vet there will be small amount of money from the VA for funeral expenses. You will need death certificates for any insurance companies, probate and maybe others. Usually 6 is plenty. If he files income tax some one will need to file for him for this year The container for the ashes does not need to be elaborate. My mother's was in a special type cardboard box.

In my state the funeral home records the death certificate in the state but if he owns anything in the county the survivor will need to record it in the county.

They will share what info they will need and they might want some money up front. As been shared all it will take is a call from the hospital or you when the time comes.

Hopefully there is someone in the family that can go with you as four ears are better than two. Call me if you need to. 870 405 0500

TrapperKent

Re: End of life question. [Re: Ohio Wolverine] #7445278
12/30/21 12:23 AM
12/30/21 12:23 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 17,787
MN
1
160user Offline
trapper
160user  Offline
trapper
1

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 17,787
MN
Originally Posted by Ohio Wolverine

Except I want them dumped around a tree I started from seed .


I find it interesting that in the end a lot of us care about a chunk of dirt more than anything else.


I have nothing clever to put here.





Re: End of life question. [Re: Ohio Wolverine] #7445280
12/30/21 12:33 AM
12/30/21 12:33 AM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 15,539
Champaign County, Ohio.
K
KeithC Offline
trapper
KeithC  Offline
trapper
K

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 15,539
Champaign County, Ohio.
Originally Posted by Ohio Wolverine
Never did or will care for people taking advantage of someone's old age and health or death .
Why would a doctor want to do hip surgery on a 90+ year old that is dying from cancer ?
Yet some will try to do it .


When my 98 year old great, great aunt died, one of the numerous charges the hospital stuck my grandparents with from the autopsy was for a pregnancy check. That's just pure theft.

I think having a get together for the family and close friends is important. It doesn't have to fancy. A simple potluck at someone's home or a church hall will work. It's good for grieving people to get together.

Keith

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445297
12/30/21 01:00 AM
12/30/21 01:00 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,142
Wisconsin
M
Moosetrot Offline
trapper
Moosetrot  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,142
Wisconsin
My oldest brother died about 10 years ago and his family had him cremated. He's the one who started me off hunting, trapping, made sure i had a nice sport coat and enough money for my first Homecoming date...on and on and on. I sure did love the guy and miss him deeply yet.

They gave me a bag of his ashes. I carry a little vial of them when I hunt and every once in a while I spread him into the wind. One time while hunting geese in South Dakota we were laying in a field with absolutely nothing flying. After a while I thought "What the heck, maybe Fred will give us a hand." and threw his ashes up into the wind. Some may not believe in such things but shortly after that, the geese started flying...and dying. He taught me to hunt using old wooden decoys on Rush Lake, up near Oshkosh, and some of his ashes will go there because he dearly loved the place.

When rebuilding my old duck skiff this Fall I was really missing him and the times we spent together on the marshes and lakes duck hunting. I mixed some of his ashes into the duck boat paint so he will be with me out there duck hunting, something we both lived for.

I think cremation is the way to go. Times where a person could just lay there and rot, and truly be eternal are gone. I have already picked out some special spots where my family will spread me when the time comes.

I am not one to pray, but I wish you my thoughts and strength, Bernie. Always remember the good times.

Moosetrot

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445327
12/30/21 02:20 AM
12/30/21 02:20 AM
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 1,539
Saucier, Mississippi Harrison ...
T
turkn8rtrapper Offline
trapper
turkn8rtrapper  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 1,539
Saucier, Mississippi Harrison ...
My mother in law passed last month. It fell on my wife and I to carry out her wishes. We went through a funeral home. The creamation earn and memorial service was $2,950. They handled everything. We made up picture boards for the memorial and it was the best one I've been to. No boo hooing just family and friends paying their respects and reliving the good memories. The earn is very nice and resides on our mantel until everyone decides when and where to spread her ashes. The funeral home also took care of the death certificates and notifying social security and medicare which was all part of the price. Actually pretty painless. As another said it can be arranged and pre paid.


"Skin that smokewagon and see what happens"
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445333
12/30/21 02:39 AM
12/30/21 02:39 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,801
Beaman Iowa 55
M
Mike Cope Offline
trapper
Mike Cope  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,801
Beaman Iowa 55

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445347
12/30/21 05:19 AM
12/30/21 05:19 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,907
PA
E
elkaholic Offline
trapper
elkaholic  Offline
trapper
E

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,907
PA
A lot of folks around here are going with the "all over in one day" funeral. Once the ashes are returned they'll do a viewing. Depending on how big the family/friends circle is 2-3 hours should be long enough, small Christian service included. Usually followed up with a dinner type of thing where people can sit and eat and share stories.

My FIL wanted no service or viewing, but told my wife if the girls needed one to go ahead and do it. He was so well liked and known that it ended up being a 5 hour viewing that had to be continued the next day for the burial. My MIL is a devout Catholic so she wanted a full Catholic mass. He wasn't much of a church man, and didn't want that, but the girls obliged their mom. I swear that as soon as they wheeled his casket in the church the loudest thunderclap sounded off. I looked at my wife and went, "Looks like old Haroldy isn't happy with this part of the shebang". We sat there and giggled the whole mass because everytime the priest would say his name there would be a thunderclap. At one point the priest said "ok Harold I know your upset with this I'll make it as fast as possible."

The moment they wheeled him outside for the military service the skies cleared and the sun shone bright.

Remember: The funeral is not for the deceased. It's for the living.


Millions of trees die every year to print environmentalist publications
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445358
12/30/21 06:14 AM
12/30/21 06:14 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 8,837
Magna, Utah
G
GritGuy Offline
trapper
GritGuy  Offline
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G

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 8,837
Magna, Utah
Do have some experience in this matter. My Mom wished to be cremated, two of us brothers abided in her wish, the middle brother fought the whole way, was a mess and it degraded our loss !

The two of us stuck together and won the fight, but lost the battle as we do not talk with or share any life with him any more.

You best study up on cost's because here it was 6K to finish it all, there is no spreading of ashes allowed in my state legally (Utah). No one follows it though, get caught in any park though and your toast, better study up on your rules.

We had a small service and had made photo collages in many different things as our family is big on taking pic's, many had no idea about our Mom's interests or had ever seen her in her younger day's.

Placed her in a mausoleum, so we could visit whenever and not to have to see the brother who caused such a mess.

Passing on has been mentioned it's for the living, sometimes it cause's some of the living in you to die as well.

Get all the stuff done before hand if you can, you will be able to relax and enjoy the fruits of your labors, knowing you did what was asked and then move on peacefully !


[Linked Image]

Sorry if my opinions or replies offend you, they are not meant to !

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445371
12/30/21 06:58 AM
12/30/21 06:58 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,150
Valders, WI
Alex the dog Offline
trapper
Alex the dog  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,150
Valders, WI
Bucksnbears,
I give you much respect for asking this question and seeking answers before the passing of your father. Loosing a loved one is never a pleasant time. Just putting this out there, if $ are of any concern have a Covid test ran and if positive request it be noted on death certificate and file with FEMA. All expenses including post mass meal could be covered. Personally know of three families that had over $10,000 in expenses reimbursed.

I don’t want this to be come a political thread, just want to share an option.
Dave

https://www.fema.gov/disaster/coronavirus/economic/funeral-assistance#eligible


Forever in debt to my Father who introduced me to trapping.
May I be half the man he was.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445372
12/30/21 07:01 AM
12/30/21 07:01 AM

M
Mark June
Unregistered
Mark June
Unregistered
M



Originally Posted by bucksnbears
My father is in tough shape and I think his time is very near.
He's very private and really has no $$.
About all I know is he wants to be cremated and want no funeral.
Very simple man.
I know nothing about this stuff and will the one carrying the brunt of it.
I guarantee he will want the easiest/cheapest way to get this done.
Any advice on how to handle this?
Mn if that makes a difference?
What steps do I take if I get that call?



Sorry to hear about the dire situation with your father bucksnbears.
As someone who deals with end of life situations... palliative and hospice care, funerals and memorials, and who interacts with funeral home directors, I'll share that the way you handle any end of life arrangements will have lasting consequences for the family, especially with patriarchs like "dads." As a nation, we hate death. We can't defeat it. So too many families have done a poor job these last 100 years especially, with all sorts of "memorials" that leave gaping wounds in those still living, and when they grow old, they say, "I don't want any of that stuff... funeral. Memorial. None of it!"

There are two moments in human life when we are most apt to glorify God. At birth and at death. One is to thank God for the new arrival and the other to thank God for the gift of the deceased. Heck, us Americans don't even like to call it what it is, and that's predictable because of the circumstances being so "real" and "final" at death.... we kill a deer but our loved one "passed." Nope, we really are not good at the reverence for life, as a gift, and because of that we hurry through proceedings so we can all get back to happy.

But all of that is not the way we humans are divinely crafted. Not at all. We are made to deeply grieve the ones we love and we don't grieve in a healthy way when someone dies and we get it over in a couple hours as cheap as possible. Money? What? Money has no bearing on healthy grieving. None, In fact, we ask funeral directors (a business only 125 years old) to do the deal (when people used to bring the loved one home and prep them themselves on the kitchen table or bedroom) and then people grumble that the director is making money.

So here we are 125 years after undertakers (now called funeral directors) do most all of it, and so we've had 3-4 generations who've lived through no reverence for the dead, so they say, I don't want any of that. So I ask people, "Any of what?" A memorial service is to honor the dead person. And to help the living people respectfully and honorably and with much glory and thanks to God say goodbye to a loved one. We spend $$$$$$$ and all sorts of time saying "hey, there" to a new born baby but as a culture we forget and suffer when we hustle through a death of a loved one. And that suffering can be unhealthy grieving for a VERY LONG TIME. I see it ALL THE TIME!!!

Whatever you do bucksnbears, and how ever you want to do it, when your father dies, today or in 30 years, honor his life, thank God for allowing you to be a son to this man, and spend some intentional time as a family to gather and say goodbye... even though it's incredibly sad. It's supposed to be sad. The more you love someone, the harder it is to say goodbye.

But goodbye in a Christian setting is not the final scene. At funerals of believers, I always remind the family who also believe in God, y'all will see each other again "on that morning."

Blessings,
Mark

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445380
12/30/21 07:22 AM
12/30/21 07:22 AM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 2,162
N.E. Nebr
L
LDW Offline
trapper
LDW  Offline
trapper
L

Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 2,162
N.E. Nebr
In the last year, I buried my dad, my mom and my son. My dad had a traditional funeral, with the cost of $15,000. My mom wanted to be cremated. Just a small family service. She already had her plot and stone in the cemetery. I think it still was around $8000. For some reason, I don't remember the exact cost. For my son, we also had a traditional service, but held the costs down as much as possible. It was $9000 for the services. My father in law had the burial plot purchased and he also paid for his stone. I didn't have to make all the decisions myself, have 2 sisters. However being the oldest, they looked to me to make the tough calls. I was also the PR for both estates. Had to work with the ex-wife on my son's funeral. For the most part, it went ok. It's been a year from (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman) that I never want to go through again.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445550
12/30/21 10:40 AM
12/30/21 10:40 AM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,252
western mn
B
bucksnbears Offline OP
trapper
bucksnbears  Offline OP
trapper
B

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,252
western mn
Well dang, thanks for all the great responses cool
He does have a will. I believe it's in his safe?
There will be no Urn. His ashes will be spread right where the house stood where he was born.
So, for the very simplest way, can it be done for a grand$.
He's accepted this and is at peace with himself.

Thanks everyone.


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445553
12/30/21 10:45 AM
12/30/21 10:45 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 62,661
Minnesota
330-Trapper Offline

trapper
330-Trapper  Offline

trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 62,661
Minnesota
Originally Posted by bucksnbears
Well dang, thanks for all the great responses cool
He does have a will. I believe it's in his safe?
There will be no Urn. His ashes will be spread right where the house stood where he was born.
So, for the very simplest way, can it be done for a grand$.
He's accepted this and is at peace with himself.

Thanks everyone.

Base price was $2,995.00 to have my Uncle done.


NRA and NTA Life Member
www.BackroadsRevised@etsy.com




Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445577
12/30/21 11:19 AM
12/30/21 11:19 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 10,787
Asheville, NC
C
charles Offline
trapper
charles  Offline
trapper
C

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 10,787
Asheville, NC
My mom donated her body in a letter to a medical school 30 years before her death. No expenses whatsoever to our family and the school treated us very well. Every day before anatomy class, their students say a prayer. I asked if I could donate my body. I am too large. The school prefers smaller bodies that female students can handle.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445585
12/30/21 11:25 AM
12/30/21 11:25 AM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,955
Northern Mn
rick olson Offline
trapper
rick olson  Offline
trapper

Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,955
Northern Mn
Sorry to hear what's ahead for you and your family,when my Mom died 4 years ago today the cost was just under 3K just like 330 posted.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445633
12/30/21 12:25 PM
12/30/21 12:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 13,059
Ky
J
jbyrd63 Offline
trapper
jbyrd63  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 13,059
Ky
Sorry for your burdens. We all must face it during our lives at some point, Plenty of advice given so just listen to what is best for you and your family. Prayers sent.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445763
12/30/21 03:16 PM
12/30/21 03:16 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 1,497
Southern NJ
maintenanceguy Offline
trapper
maintenanceguy  Offline
trapper

Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 1,497
Southern NJ
Just lost my dad. Similar in that he didn't want any fuss. Specifically told us no funeral, just cremation.

He had a hospice nurse visiting the house for a few days before he passed. We called hospice first, after he passed. They came out right away and did some paperwork, distroyed his medications, and just verified that he had passed - not that we had any question.

We then called the funeral home and they were at the house within half an hour. They handled everything from that point on. We told them no funeral, no casket, just cremation. They took his body and I went with my mom to the funeral home the next day to sign the paperwork and write the check. That meeting was valuable. In 30 minutes they explained everything we needed to know. Total cost was $1400 for just a cremation. We picked up his ashes a few days later.

The family got together at my mom's house the next weekend and we just hung out for the afternoon. Not really a service, not really a wake. Roughly 20 of us.

My parents had already purchased a grave site and it was at our little country church. I dug the hole with a post hole digger and buried the ashes myself. We ordered a headstone that isn't finished yet. I'll set it when it's done.


-Ryan
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445805
12/30/21 04:22 PM
12/30/21 04:22 PM
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 10,726
SW Georgia
W
Wanna Be Offline
trapper
Wanna Be  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: May 2018
Posts: 10,726
SW Georgia
That’s funny everyone equates this to not having any money. I have money and my family will have plenty when I die, but my wish is to be cremated with no funeral or burial. My only request is to rent out our AG pavilion and have a few pics of me and some of my deer/turkey mounts there as conversation pieces. I want it open to whoever wants to attend whether they liked me or not. It’s to be catered with BBQ, catfish, and sweet tea. No crying, no gifts except donations to the NWTF, Delta Waterfowl, or the NTA. I want 80’s music playing whether folks like it or not. Money has already been set aside to cover ALL the expense. I want my ashes spread out throughout the following years on successful hunts my boys take out of state and a few designated spots around our area. My “get together” is only allowed on a Saturday around lunch time. If it’s college football time then the Dawgs will be playing. All those in suits and dress clothes will be asked to leave.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445812
12/30/21 04:30 PM
12/30/21 04:30 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,655
ND
M
MJM Offline
trapper
MJM  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,655
ND
Sorry to see this Dave. If you need to talk or get away give me a shout.


"Not Really, Not Really"
Mark J Monti
"MJM you're a jerk."
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445939
12/30/21 07:37 PM
12/30/21 07:37 PM
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N. Carolina
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Scout1 Offline
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If it were me I would do what I could to make sure your Dad has his wishes upheld. I would think if you could find a crematorium only and no funeral home you could save money. Anything to do with a funeral home is greatly overpriced. I would love to have my ashes put in a fire pit at my favorite campsite. I could be wrong, but I believe you can get cremated for around $1000 around here. They put uour ashes in a cardboard box to give back to the family. Again, prayers for your dad!!


-------------------------------------
DJT & MTG in 2024!
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7445940
12/30/21 07:38 PM
12/30/21 07:38 PM
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St. Louis Co, Mo
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BigBob Offline
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Anything done by a funeral home will be spendy. Find out where/who does the cremations in your area, they will fetch the remains, take care of the process and return him to you. If you're gonna spread his ash's in some special place, you don't need a fancy box. Usually the $255 from SSI will cover the expense.


Every kid needs a Dog and a Curmudgeon.

Remember Bowe Bergdahl, the traitor.

Beware! Jill Pudlewski, Ron Oates and Keven Begesse are liars and thiefs!
Re: End of life question. [Re: Norwestalta] #7445942
12/30/21 07:39 PM
12/30/21 07:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
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North East Kansas
Marty Offline
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Originally Posted by Norwestalta
I don't have any advice to give you but please accept my condolences.


X2.


E
'Honey Badger Militia'
Sleep, the anti woke adote.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446009
12/30/21 08:40 PM
12/30/21 08:40 PM
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Posts: 7,252
western mn
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bucksnbears Offline OP
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Thank you ALL!.

My brother is gonna come this weekend. The 2 of us are gonna go have "the talk" with dad.
We are hoping he's got a plan and I "think" he does.

One thing I'm hearing(learning) is...
Funeral homes seem to have a license to steal?
Thanks again you all. Helps ease my mind.


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446027
12/30/21 08:59 PM
12/30/21 08:59 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,475
WI>>>MN >>>WI
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I don't know if this applies, but, as Cliffy might say: " It's a little known fact that...


FEMA to Help Pay Funeral Costs for COVID-19-Related Deaths
Release Date Release Number
March 24, 2021 HQ-21-071
Release Date:
March 24, 2021
WASHINGTON -- In early April, FEMA will begin providing financial assistance for funeral expenses incurred after Jan. 20, 2020 for deaths related to coronavirus (COVID-19) to help ease some of the financial stress and burden caused by the pandemic. The policy was finalized today, and FEMA is now moving rapidly to implement this funeral assistance program nationwide.

"At FEMA, our mission is to help people before, during and after disasters," said Acting FEMA Administrator Bob Fenton. “The COVID-19 pandemic has caused immense grief for so many people. Although we cannot change what has happened, we affirm our commitment to help with funeral and burial expenses that many families did not anticipate."

To be eligible for COVID-19 funeral assistance, the policy states:

The applicant must be a U.S. citizen, non-citizen national, or qualified alien who incurred funeral expenses after Jan. 20, 2020 for a death attributed to COVID-19.
If multiple individuals contributed toward funeral expenses, they should apply under a single application as applicant and co-applicant. FEMA will also consider documentation from other individuals not listed as the applicant and co-applicant who may have incurred funeral expenses as part of the registration for the deceased individual.
An applicant may apply for multiple deceased individuals.
The COVID-19-related death must have occurred in the United States, including the U.S. territories and the District of Columbia.
This assistance is limited to a maximum financial amount of $9,000 per funeral and a maximum of $35,500 per application.
Funeral assistance is intended to assist with expenses for funeral services and interment or cremation.
In the coming weeks, a dedicated 800 number will be established to help individuals who apply. In the meantime, potential applicants are encouraged to start gathering the following documentation:

An official death certificate that attributes the death to COVID-19 and shows that the death occurred in the United States. The death certificate must indicate the death “may have been caused by” or “was likely the result of” COVID-19 or COVID-19-like symptoms. Similar phrases that indicate a high likelihood of COVID-19 are considered sufficient attribution.
Funeral expense documents (receipts, funeral home contract, etc.) that include the applicant’s name, the deceased individual’s name, the amount of funeral expenses and dates the funeral expenses were incurred.
Proof of funds received from other sources specifically for use toward funeral costs. Funeral assistance may not duplicate benefits received from burial or funeral insurance, financial assistance received from voluntary agencies, federal/state/local/tribal/territorial government programs or agencies, or other sources.
For more information about this assistance, visit COVID-19 Funeral Assistance | FEMA.gov.


Man who mistake shillelagh for fairy wand; see pixie dust, also.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446038
12/30/21 09:08 PM
12/30/21 09:08 PM
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Frazee, MN
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backroadsarcher Online content
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Just went through this with my mother in law. When she passed the funeral home took her in. The family knew what she wanted so the arrangements went very quick. It is never easy but it is something we all had to take care of. It went fast and it was all finished. Nobody had a chance to sit down and to much thinking until everything was completed. Spend time with him when you can is all I can say.

Re: End of life question. [Re: Nessmuck] #7446135
12/30/21 10:20 PM
12/30/21 10:20 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 477
New York
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Jim H Offline
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Originally Posted by Nessmuck
Call the funeral home…they will come and get him….they will do the cremation…and hand you the Ern…Did this for my dad,and he just wanted to be buried at the Veterans Cemetery…plain and simple…the way he wanted it. No Funeral ,no wake, …Cuz he said he hated going to them.


This. We just went through this in August for my dad. The funeral home handled everything. Cremation, urn, obit and military flag and plaque. Cost was around $5k in PA.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446137
12/30/21 10:22 PM
12/30/21 10:22 PM
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Posts: 316
PA
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cablejohn Offline
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I'm sorry Dave.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446171
12/30/21 11:01 PM
12/30/21 11:01 PM
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Posts: 7,252
western mn
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bucksnbears Offline OP
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Thank John.
I sure feel bad for what you're going through frown


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446193
12/30/21 11:40 PM
12/30/21 11:40 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 16,261
Iowa
~ADC~ Offline
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Iowa
I didn't read all the replies but I found it's much less expensive if you leave the funeral home out of it. Call the crematorium and have the body delivered there from the hospital or wherever he passes away. You don't have to pay a funeral home to transport them or any other associated costs. You don't need a funeral home at all. The crematorium will give you back the ashes in bag in a box to do with whatever you think he'd wanted.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446195
12/30/21 11:42 PM
12/30/21 11:42 PM
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western mn
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bucksnbears Offline OP
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Thanks Adc.
I'm trying to get educated on all this.


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446201
12/30/21 11:48 PM
12/30/21 11:48 PM
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Ohio
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Sorry for your fathers illness. My prayers sent for you all. One piece of advice to everyone. Don’t wait to the final days to have a plan. Everyone is going to die. My father and mother showed me a box at age 12. It was in a closet. When they went on a trip. We where always reminded about the box. The box was to be given to a relative. When I turned 18 the box became my responsibility. The box was there wishes when they passed. At age 25. There plots where bought and the headstone. I am 57 now. My mother has sense passed. My father is still with us. The best thing you could do for your children. Have everything ready. This way time can be spent remembering and spending together as a family. Not trying to decide what needs to be done.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446222
12/31/21 12:10 AM
12/31/21 12:10 AM
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Iowa
~ADC~ Offline
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Iowa
Originally Posted by bucksnbears
Thanks Adc.
I'm trying to get educated on all this.


I've had to deal with more of it than I ever expected. I've lost both parents, 2 sisters and a brother along with numerous aunts and uncles. I'm glad I can help out. If I recall when my last sister passed a few years back, it saved over 2K bypassing the funeral home.

Re: End of life question. [Re: charles] #7446238
12/31/21 12:33 AM
12/31/21 12:33 AM
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ohio
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Originally Posted by charles
My mom donated her body in a letter to a medical school 30 years before her death. No expenses whatsoever to our family and the school treated us very well. Every day before anatomy class, their students say a prayer. I asked if I could donate my body. I am too large. The school prefers smaller bodies that female students can handle.




LifeQuest Anatomical

www.lifequest-anatomical.com


We have met the enemy and the enemy is us!
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446272
12/31/21 02:07 AM
12/31/21 02:07 AM
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NC
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You can honor his wishes and still honor him by honoring his wishes.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7446442
12/31/21 09:43 AM
12/31/21 09:43 AM
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Williamsport, Pa.
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I went a different route. My lawyer took care of everything. When my mom was alive he had an interview with her. He asked questions that I did not have the nerve to ask and made all the arraignments before she died. She was very happy with the knowledge of what was going to happen. She was dying that horrible hospital death that my best friend and father and mother died from, in bed for months with people gaping at them. When the time came it was done, there was a slight bo bo at the cemetary end but no one but me noticed it........very grateful to my lawyer and not expensive as my mother wished......jk


Free people are not equal. Equal people are not free. What's supposed to be ain't always is. Hopper Hunter
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7447058
12/31/21 08:07 PM
12/31/21 08:07 PM

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Mark June
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Why is money a major theme during end of life? Is that what a lifetime with a loved one boils down too?

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7447069
12/31/21 08:16 PM
12/31/21 08:16 PM
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Northern Mn
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Mark,I think it's about the money for some people who feels like throwing away 3 to 10k away.Respect the person that has gone on to a better place.There is nothing wrong with spending thousand's on a funeral if that's what you or your family wants to do.To some people it ads more hardships on people that do not have 5k or so for the final send off from this earth.

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7447100
12/31/21 08:42 PM
12/31/21 08:42 PM

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Mark June
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Good points Rick. As a person who ministers to people who struggle with all sorts of shame, guilt, and unhealthy memories related to people's deaths in their lives, I just wondered why so many of the comments were related to cash.

I'd argue that people spend cash on the things they want. Trucks. Houses. Boats. Guns. Dance lessons. Dish TV. We are a nation of "spenders."
I also know from supporting some 150 deaths and the families involved that it's not funeral directors they don't want to spend the money with. Nope. It's death.
It's not about the money you see, it's about the frame of mind of those in charge of the end of life decisions.
Example: Just had a family arguing (it's why the gravely ill don't want a wake... avoid all the drama many times) over the money one of the men didn't want to spend for the mom's end of life situation but he had just dropped $350,000 on a sail boat.
You see, we place our $$$ where our heart's desires are.

If you want to save money on an end of life situation, then do what our ancestors did before about 1880. Prep and bury your loved one yourself. Do all of it. End to end.
But nope, because starting about 150 years ago we as a progressive people decided to give "undertakers" the duties we no longer wanted to do which now has evolved via culture sentiment and legislation into funeral homes/directors.
I'm not advocating for funeral homes - not my mission.
My wonderment is that a death memorial should honor the deceased. Does it or will it? If so, there will much better healthy grieving for all involved and if not there's a good chance unhealthy grieving will occur and doc's will Rx more meds.
That's the people I support who will not remember a dollar here or a dollar there in five years but will always remember the intent of those involved at end of life.
Dollars come and go. Emotions seem to live a long, long, long time.

You rarely had anyone 150 years ago say, "I don't want a funeral or a memorial when I die." Did not happen. And the family would have been shocked to hear such a request.
But this is a common request in 2021.
We have changed as a nation these last 100 years and having less reverence for those who die is not a good path. At so many levels.

Blessings,
Mark

Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7447105
12/31/21 08:47 PM
12/31/21 08:47 PM
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western mn
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bucksnbears Offline OP
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Good stuff Mark, thanks.


swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo

You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
Re: End of life question. [Re: bucksnbears] #7447133
12/31/21 09:07 PM
12/31/21 09:07 PM
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Posts: 29,750
williamsburg ks
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danny clifton Offline
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Its illegal to do it yourself.

If turning a loved one into a mummy is what you want whos to say different? In 3 thousand years they will be digging them up the way we do Egyptian mummy's and putting their jewelry in museums.

Pretty wrong to chastise people who dont want their loved ones remains preserved at enormous cost.


Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
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