Genetics and behaviors (attitudes habits actions etc...)

Youngsters, pay attention to the entire family for clues. I'm not just talking parents and siblings I mean the ENTIRE family.

This is good advice that should be heeded. My ex had a crazy mother, aunts were "off", grandma was a total nut. At the time I had no clue that people were still developing mentally into their 20s. I would be very careful about getting married under 25-26.

Men shouldn’t get married until they have lived a minimum of one year on their own.

My thoughts:
A good spouse is worth a million dollars,a bad one ain't worth a dime.
It's a Man's world and Woman's court.

Men that get along best with women are the men that get along best without them.

men cheat 20% of the time women 13%, so not quit as much as twice.

My parents divorced when I was 10. Everybody talks about how traumatic it is for the kids, I was one of the happiest kids in town. Didn't have to listen to all the fights, a nightly occurrence. My sisters and I lived with our mom, she never got a penny from our dad. She worked hard, we were money poor, but had a good childhood. We camped and fished nearly every weekend along the river. I divorced after 23 years of marriage. We had 2 sons. The oldest was a senior and the youngest was a freshman. When I told them I was kicking their mom out, they said what took you so long. Told me I should have done it 10 years before. The ex is a hard worker, but the bottle got the best of her. 2 DWI and rents a room in a basement to live in. As hard as she drinks, I can't believe she is still alive. We've been divorced for 22 years and lost our youngest son last spring at the age of 36. Basically drank himself to death.

For those inserting God and prayer while agree, when one person changes who they are or were after a period of time one praying does not solve the problem of both.

I’ll throw this out there. Read “cracking the Communication code” by Emerson Eggerich.

Last i heard was Boco was renting out some of his trapline cabins for a year for those guys to apply. $10,000 cash rent in advance, and no he does not accept possum skins as payment.

Interesting thread.
Divorce is a civil matter and not a standard of God in any way. Genesis 2:24 describes the covenant of marriage, early in the Creation story, before the Fall in the Garden in Chapter 3.
But, we live in 2022 and divorce is a character trait of our culture, but not a character trait of God.

When the religious leaders of Jesus' day asked Him about divorce, testing Him of course, Jesus clarified (recorded in Matthew 19) that divorce is man-made. It's not of God.
What we have is "top-line" thinking (God) versus "bottom line" thinking (humans/world/satan) and no where do these two lines intersect. They can't.
Jesus tells the religious leaders that it's pornea, or unrepentant sexual sin; lust that steers human desires. We desire pleasure. If you talk to 100 people who are divorced you'll hear 100 different versions of the same concept = humans figuring out what is good and evil and acting on it, which is the definition of being "god."

Marriage was never designed by the God of Creation so that the man and the woman would make each other "happy." It happens of course and that's great, but marriage was divinely designed for man and wife to make each other holy. Each brings character to the marriage which strengthens the dual bond. Our culture teaches that marriage is about love and happiness and if this one doesn't make me happy... NEXT!

Divorce and abortion are the two biggest legacies of trauma in our time and the wounds are absolutely, positively everywhere, effecting the emotional, relational, and spiritual health of tens of millions.

We do the best we can, with what we have, where we are. The best situation is to walk a straight path... united to the One whose Wisdom is the Truth.
Human wisdom stories always have a "twist" in the plot.

Blessings,
Mark

Mark, that's so true. Another verse that accompanies this thread is Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?
I say it accompanies this topic because I've heard many Christian couples say..... my heart says the divorce is the right thing to do. Regardless of how many times they are reminded that divorce is not of God's plan they still go through it because "their heart says to" and they prayed about it and feel it's right. Meanwhile the other spouse is saying the opposite.

Yes some people can reconcile but unfortunately it's far and few between.

Another trend I have seen with Christians the last several years is to have "a temporary separation" from several months to 1 year. During that time they are going to the church for counseling. The pastors practicing this approach don't realize the damage this is causing with the marriage and the family. The pastors practice this approach even with couples that have been married 20+ years not just younger couples.


Youngsters, marriage and having kids is THE HARDEST job, responsibility and ministry you will ever have. Long rough day at work, you get home and your day is just starting.