Mom wants to be discharged and go back home. After seeing and hearing what is REALLY !!! going on in that place; I DON'T BLAME MOM ONE DANG BIT FOR WANTING TO GO BACK HOME! Everyone of Mom's friends says that she does not need to be in there. Well, I spoke to the Social Worker today, and they are having a Family meeting tomorrow Morning for Mom. Mom and I both said that she wants to go home. I told them I want Mom discharged right away. Come to find out , THEY ARE NOT MAKING IT SIMPLE!! They said "it's a process" I then said " if you refuse to discharge Mom when we have both told you she wants to go home, then , you are holding Mom hostage !! "


Is there any way that they can force my Mother to stay in that Nursing Home , and refuse a discharge to her home ? I took care of Mom before she went into the Home, and after seeing how bad that place is, I can definitely do a better job than what they are doing!

If your mom wants to leave, and you want to bring her home, your both adults, dont ask permission just go.

Call the State
File a suit
Ask a Lawyer
Document Everything

If they don't believe its medically advisable to discharge, they can keep a patient there. Sounds like you'll need lawyers involved.

Sadly many nursing homes milk old people for their life savings and social security checks. I believe in free ranging old people, on their own home range, if at all possible.

I hope you can quickly get you mother back with you, where she belongs.

Keith

Tell them to get her out AMA against medical advice. Seems to help

I do not believe they can force her to stay without a court order

You should have a State Ombudsman that is there for patients rights, whistle blowing, etc. Get in touch with them ASAP.

Next, unless your mother has signed over power of attorney or is otherwise under the guardianship of another she is free to leave, now. Of course the facility will say it's against medical advice and make it difficult.

The missus has worked in nursing homes since the age of 14. Well over 30 years now.

They will claim “against medical advise”. They really push it some times but I don’t think they can forcible keep her there.

I have two daughters that work at a assisted living home, not sure about making them stay but I do know that both of my girls care a lot about the people they care for, had a really sad and teary night a coupe nights ago when a resident they were very fond of passed away. I know we all hear about the apple at care homes but there are some care givers who really care and do a good job. I hope you get her home quickly.

Scott

I hope you can get your mom out of that joint.

Get yourself a tablet and document every conversation, whether on the phone or in person, that you have about this situation. Make sure you get who said what, dates, referrals to others, and the times and dates of any phone conversations and with whom.

Develop a care plan that will meet with your Mom's needs, care, and safety when she leaves. Use the language from the care plan that the nursing home must already have in place for her. Your statements and plans will carry a lot more weight if it sounds like you know what you are talking about in their language rather than acting on conjecture or emotion.

Do what Warrior said about the Ombudsman.

I wish you and your Mom my best.

Moosetrot

I agree with Danny. Just go and get her!

I got a Laundry list of issues with that place.

1. One of the Aides got fired because she threatened to punch my Mother in the Nose !! When the Nurse called to tell me what happened between the Nurses Aide and my Mom, that Nurse was really nervous.

2. The food looks like it is barely edible.

3. Some of those Nurses are flat out RUDE!

4. I swear some of those Patients in there are put on some sort of meds. Some of them look and sound all doped up.

5. Clothing that gets "Lost "

6. And the best yet!!! When I WANTED TO LEAVE THAT FLOOR, one Nurse's Aide almost REFUSED TO LET ME LEAVE!! They thought I was one of the Patients , too !!!!!!!!!!!! OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jot down some notes about why you want her out of there. Unsanitary conditions, perceived maltreatment, lack of staff following prescribed programs, dates of your visits when you witnessed things, etc. Also ask about staff/resident ratios and if they have held consistent with state rules. BE VERY SPECIFIC WITH EVERYTHING!

Moosetrot

What warrior said.
Unless someone has a POA for medical care over her,she cannot be kept against her will.

Yep, pack the bags and walk out.


You should have a State Ombudsman that is there for patients rights, whistle blowing, etc. Get in touch with them ASAP.
Good advice

If somebody has POA it will be a fight. the things I suggested will help you in the fight.

Moosetrot

You watch the move called “ I care alot “. it will give you all the answers you will need about keeping people in a nursing home against their will. Get a lawyer and file charges then walk your mom out of the building. I would also request the local sheriff to escort the 3 of you out of the building. Might have to make a small political contribution to his re-election campaign. But it works. Marty

Is Medicare involved? How many daily needs does she require help with?

Can she prepare her food?
Take her meds by herself?
Dress herself
Bathe herself
Enter and exit the bed without assistance
Attend to her toilet needs by herself
Walk unassisted
Use the telephone unassisted
Perform basic housekeeping chores
Is her home on one floor, how many steps are there


These are the items a social worker will consider.