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Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad #7573408
04/30/22 10:34 AM
04/30/22 10:34 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
Landon Offline OP
trapper
Landon  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
My mom passed away unexpectedly at 60 years old a couple months ago. She left to my brother and I 50/50 on her life insurance and pension. There was none left to our step dad. The amounts are not huge but I am trying to wrap my head around how we should split it with my step dad since the household bills were paid with both of their incomes. However, I feel our mom would have wanted us to benefit from it as well. I also donít really want him to have to take us into account on his will in the event he remarries. Anyone have any experience in dealing with this situation? I donít want to be greedy and offend him and want him to feel taken care of.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573411
04/30/22 10:38 AM
04/30/22 10:38 AM
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 7,968
WI - Wisconsin
A
AJE Offline
trapper
AJE  Offline
trapper
A

Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 7,968
WI - Wisconsin
I've always thought such scenarios are extremely challenging to sort out.

Hopefully you get some good advice.

I've seen it tear people apart but it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

It sounds really complicated.

Good luck.


WTA Member
Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573414
04/30/22 10:40 AM
04/30/22 10:40 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,202
central Missouri
B
Bigfoot Offline
trapper
Bigfoot  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,202
central Missouri
Did you ask him what he wants or thinks he might need

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573420
04/30/22 10:50 AM
04/30/22 10:50 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
Landon Offline OP
trapper
Landon  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
We have talked a bit about it and he is generally happy go lucky. I get the feeling he will not say what he needs or wants for fear of offending us. He has just been acting appreciative of any of it.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573440
04/30/22 11:24 AM
04/30/22 11:24 AM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 12,964
Oakland, MS
yotetrapper30 Offline
trapper
yotetrapper30  Offline
trapper

Joined: May 2011
Posts: 12,964
Oakland, MS
Could you take the total, and divide it by 3. The you and your bro each chip in enough to equal that third? For example, say there was 300k. You and your brother both got 150k. If each of you gave 50k then everyone would have 100k. Unless you think that's too much?


~~Proud Ultra MAGA~~
Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573453
04/30/22 11:39 AM
04/30/22 11:39 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 5,628
Wi.
D
Diggerman Offline
trapper
Diggerman  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 5,628
Wi.
Your moms wishes are just that. She gave you that money, big or small, her wishes were for you to have it. She put your names on the policy for a reason. After that, if you feel the need to share YOUR money with your step father, go for it.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573455
04/30/22 11:44 AM
04/30/22 11:44 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 23,611
Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"
HobbieTrapper  Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 23,611
Eastern Shore of Maryland
Did they love each other and did he bring joy to her life?


-Goofy-
Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573462
04/30/22 11:55 AM
04/30/22 11:55 AM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,125
Wabash, IN USA
Flipper 56 Offline
trapper
Flipper 56  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,125
Wabash, IN USA
Does he get the house? She left it to you and maybe she felt like everything else was enough for him but wanted to help her kids with money.


"Where Can A Man Find Bear Beaver And Other Critters Worth Cash Money When Skinned?"

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Diggerman] #7573470
04/30/22 12:08 PM
04/30/22 12:08 PM
Joined: Aug 2021
Posts: 1,047
MA
F
Flicker Shad Offline
trapper
Flicker Shad  Offline
trapper
F

Joined: Aug 2021
Posts: 1,047
MA
Originally Posted by Diggerman
Your moms wishes are just that. She gave you that money, big or small, her wishes were for you to have it. She put your names on the policy for a reason. After that, if you feel the need to share YOUR money with your step father, go for it.

I agree.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573473
04/30/22 12:18 PM
04/30/22 12:18 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 5,543
MB
J
Jurassic Park Offline
trapper
Jurassic Park  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 5,543
MB
Thatís a tough one. I guess it would depend on how long was he your step Dad for.

Did he help raise you and your brother from young? Did he recently marry your Mom and you and your brother were grown and moved out?


Cold as ice!
Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Diggerman] #7573483
04/30/22 12:34 PM
04/30/22 12:34 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 1,461
Southern NJ
maintenanceguy Offline
trapper
maintenanceguy  Offline
trapper

Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 1,461
Southern NJ
Originally Posted by Diggerman
Your moms wishes are just that. She gave you that money, big or small, her wishes were for you to have it. She put your names on the policy for a reason. After that, if you feel the need to share YOUR money with your step father, go for it.


Just what I was going to say. I think it's good of you that you want to look out for someone else. I have no idea how much help is appropriate but I wish there were more people who looked out for others instead of just themselves.


-Ryan
Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573497
04/30/22 12:55 PM
04/30/22 12:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,369
Northern Nevada, 31 yrs old
B
Bob Offline
trapper
Bob  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,369
Northern Nevada, 31 yrs old
You really have no legal or moral obligation to give him anything, your mother left it to you, but if you feel itís the right thing to do, and you want to do it then you certainly should. Be careful how you go about it though, since he didnít inherit it via her will then in legal terms itís a gift from you and if you gift him over $16,000 you will be hit with an astronomical gift tax on anything above the $16,000. You, not him. The tax can be anywhere from 18% up to 40% depending on how much is gifted. If you want to give him more than $16k, consult a tax professional first and theyíll help you go about it the right way.


"I have two guns, one for each of ya."
Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573508
04/30/22 01:12 PM
04/30/22 01:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,372
minn
F
fossil2 Offline
trapper
fossil2  Offline
trapper
F

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,372
minn
you need to find out if he has his own will. many times in a re-marriage like that, each wills their assets to their own family members, and splits their living expenses day to day. did he or she own their home, is another big question. your line of thinking is very generous of you, but you need all the facts first. does your bro want to give away some of his money, or is it just you thats thinking of sharing your inheritance? are you close, and will you remain in contact with the step dad after your moms passing? hope you can work this out in such a way thats its satisfying for everyone involved.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: yotetrapper30] #7573518
04/30/22 01:31 PM
04/30/22 01:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
Landon Offline OP
trapper
Landon  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
Originally Posted by yotetrapper30
Could you take the total, and divide it by 3. The you and your bro each chip in enough to equal that third? For example, say there was 300k. You and your brother both got 150k. If each of you gave 50k then everyone would have 100k. Unless you think that's too much?


That is what my brother and I have discussed doing.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: fossil2] #7573525
04/30/22 01:39 PM
04/30/22 01:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
Landon Offline OP
trapper
Landon  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 422
Pennsylvania
Originally Posted by HobbieTrapper
Did they love each other and did he bring joy to her life?


Very much. Theyíve been together for 10-12 years and married for about 5. Most joyful Iíve seen her in a long time.

Originally Posted by Bob
You really have no legal or moral obligation to give him anything, your mother left it to you, but if you feel itís the right thing to do, and you want to do it then you certainly should. Be careful how you go about it though, since he didnít inherit it via her will then in legal terms itís a gift from you and if you gift him over $16,000 you will be hit with an astronomical gift tax on anything above the $16,000. You, not him. The tax can be anywhere from 18% up to 40% depending on how much is gifted. If you want to give him more than $16k, consult a tax professional first and theyíll help you go about it the right way.


I have looked into this. From what I understand there is a lifetime gift amount. I would need to understand more about how this works but may apply it to that.

Originally Posted by fossil2
you need to find out if he has his own will. many times in a re-marriage like that, each wills their assets to their own family members, and splits their living expenses day to day. did he or she own their home, is another big question. your line of thinking is very generous of you, but you need all the facts first. does your bro want to give away some of his money, or is it just you thats thinking of sharing your inheritance? are you close, and will you remain in contact with the step dad after your moms passing? hope you can work this out in such a way thats its satisfying for everyone involved.


We will stay in contact. We really enjoy spending time with him and am looking forward to going fishing on Lake Erie with him this summer.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573532
04/30/22 01:55 PM
04/30/22 01:55 PM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 12,964
Oakland, MS
yotetrapper30 Offline
trapper
yotetrapper30  Offline
trapper

Joined: May 2011
Posts: 12,964
Oakland, MS
Originally Posted by Landon
Originally Posted by yotetrapper30
Could you take the total, and divide it by 3. The you and your bro each chip in enough to equal that third? For example, say there was 300k. You and your brother both got 150k. If each of you gave 50k then everyone would have 100k. Unless you think that's too much?


That is what my brother and I have discussed doing.


I agree with everyone saying you don't have to give him anything, but my reply was because it sounded like you wanted to. My mom remarried after I was grown, and her new husband has been like a second father to me and is a close part of the family. While my mom has no money to leave behind, he will very much continue to be a close part of the family if she passes away first. Knowing you don't need to give him anything, it'll really just need to be up to you and your brother to decide together what to give him.


~~Proud Ultra MAGA~~
Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573535
04/30/22 01:58 PM
04/30/22 01:58 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,372
minn
F
fossil2 Offline
trapper
fossil2  Offline
trapper
F

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,372
minn
landon,,sounds like he was a real blessing to your mom. glad you have that kind of a relationship with him. hope you can find a solution that satisfies you all. and sorry for the loss of your mom. hard to lose a parent when theyre that young.

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: fossil2] #7573549
04/30/22 02:18 PM
04/30/22 02:18 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,791
East-Central Wisconsin
B
bblwi Offline
trapper
bblwi  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,791
East-Central Wisconsin
Some questions and thoughts
How long were your mom and your step dad married?
Whose house were they living in, his our hers and was it now owned jointly or in the name of one person?

Those may be factors in your decision
As stated your mom wanted you to have the monies, you and your siblings may want to address some of the issues you raised. That is your choice
There is no mention of size of the inheritance so we don't know those details.
As to gift tax It is $16K annually for this year. You can gift a person that amount or less every year and never have to even report it, let alone pay tax on it.
So if the amount you would choose to gift to your step dad exceeded the annual exclusion you could work out an agreement with him, by you and your siblings inheriting the lumps sum as you have not tax and gift to your step dad less then 16 K per year until you have completed what you chose to gift.

Bryce

Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Bob] #7573554
04/30/22 02:24 PM
04/30/22 02:24 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 51,492
Minnesota
330-Trapper Offline
trapper
330-Trapper  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 51,492
Minnesota
Originally Posted by Bob
You really have no legal or moral obligation to give him anything, your mother left it to you, but if you feel itís the right thing to do, and you want to do it then you certainly should. Be careful how you go about it though, since he didnít inherit it via her will then in legal terms itís a gift from you and if you gift him over $16,000 you will be hit with an astronomical gift tax on anything above the $16,000. You, not him. The tax can be anywhere from 18% up to 40% depending on how much is gifted. If you want to give him more than $16k, consult a tax professional first and theyíll help you go about it the right way.

This


NRA and NTA Life Member
www.BackroadsRevised@etsy.com




Re: Splitting Momís inheritance with step dad [Re: Landon] #7573591
04/30/22 03:04 PM
04/30/22 03:04 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,452
Philippines,,ohio
west river rogue Offline
trapper
west river rogue  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,452
Philippines,,ohio
Good thoughts Landon

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