Just got back from taking my son to college where he'll spend the next 5 years studying engineering and architecture. Thought I was a tough guy. Been through a lot of loss in my time as I know many of you have. But this hit me hard. Maybe because I lossed my sister last month. Too much in a short period of time. Anyhow writing this here because I don't let others see my hurt. This way is easier.

It's tough when they leave the nest. I've had three daughters do it to me. It's hard on a man, really hard.

You are absolutely not alone.
He's a huge part of your life and you have every right to miss him. You are undoubtedly very proud of him and you know he is doing the best thing. It doesn't make it easier, but think about it like this:
Some people can't wait for the kids to move out and that is unfortunate. I dread the day my girls leave home for good, but it's gonna happen. You hate to see them leave because it's been literally your life for nearly 20 years. It will get better, but it's gonna take time, stay tough, I'm sure you raised him right.

Tough doesn’t mean emotionless. I haven’t done it yet but I can imagine how tough it is taking a kid you spent the last two decades teaching and protecting and sending them into the world alone

Had to do it twice, I missed them but was glad they were doing well, Now mama, thats a hole different story,

I think she's handling better than me. I appreciate everyone's posts.

Been there brother.

Yep, It was a tough day when we drove away and left our son at the University some years ago.

Far from alone, Parents all go thru it, Yea the hardest part is leaving them. Both the wife & I had tear in our eyes on the five hour drive home. Those four years flew by & then the harder news comes when you hear he's moving out of state. Even if you've done good job with them, You still worry about them. My sons job allows him to have summers with us, So at least we get to spend three months together.

Yes tough I'm sure, also time to reflect on his life and yours. Another stage for both of you. A proud moment also knowing what you both have accomplished to get him to this point. There's nothing wrong with a man showing emotion. Mom always said emotion is just your love showing itself.

The hardest thing I’ve ever done Ed, was driving away from my daughter at college , looking in my mirror at her standing there, watching me drive out of sight. She was heartbroken and I was heartbroken.

Putting them on the bus for Kindergarten, dropping off at college, walking them down the aisle - some of the hardest things I've ever done in my life! I don't even pretend to be tough!

Nice! ^^

I truly feel sorry for people that don't have kids, either because they can't or won't. They miss so much. God made families for a reason, its links mortality to "immortality" if the line continues. I haven't dropped one off at college and drove away but gave one to Uncle Sam. We went down to Ft. Benning after he completed his "basic" part of his training and rented a B& B house for a few days. As I watched him sleeping on the living floor one afternoon, it truly struck me that he wasn't ours anymore, he was a man and belonged to the entire country. Bittersweet stuff!!

Hardest thing is letting em go. I’ve felt your pain brother. Time will ease it.

Man, I feel bad dropping the 3 year old at daycare. It’s an old school and theyre always in the gym when I drop him off there and I usually watch through the doors to see how he’s handling it. Always seems fine. I remember college very well, and I can tell you that as long as youre available on the phone to bounce some stuff off of, he’ll be just fine.

I remember at 3.5 yrs old taking him to pre-k. I said do u want me to go in with you? He said no"I got this Dad". I was heartbroken. I thought omg I"m losing my little boy.

Thank you for the sharing here on TMan Ed. Your post seems to tell us, your trapping pals, that you are suffering due to grieving those lost to you. In the past and still today.
In all the suffering, you weren't ever meant to walk solo, but you already kinda know this is a way, because you reached out to trapping brothers and sisters.
So again, thanks for the confidence in all of us.

Congratulations on being a brother to a sister who is no longer here and whom it seems, according to your post, that you love.
Congratulations also on being a father to your son and raising him to this point the best you could with love.
Congratulations on being a husband and all that you do in love.
None of it is perfect, or simple in a world which too often tells us it is loveless.

I'd say you're right where God would have you....
and your son...
and your wife...
and at a time in life where you might take the tough guy mask off and let others see the real Ed, without the tough guy facade, which was probably taught to you long ago because the world is loveless.

As a chaplain who deals with loss routinely, I remind people of all stripes and colors that tears are = they are simply emotion that can no longer be bottled up. Tears tell everyone around us MUCH!
Go ahead and be a dad that you know you are, and to heck with the facade Ed. We mature as we age, do we not? But in what way?
Our Lord helps us with this, by His Word in the Bible, passed down to us all for our good.
So that you/me/us can find rest in knowing the truth behind all the suffering and loss we go through.
The loss of those we cherish and those we love beyond words to describe it all.

Paul wrote these words to early believers in Corinth long ago and they are still true today,

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.
But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:11–14.

Abide in these Ed. Means.... "do this."
Which it seems you are friend.
Congratulations to you for the love you show others.
Toss the tough guy and embrace the new you which God has crafted through all you've gone through trapper friend.
The world teaches that showing emotion is weakness but it's actually a courageous action sir.
Do not hide it. Show it. It'll benefit everyone you love dearly.

Blessings,
Mark

The only thing harder than sending your kids off into the world is losing a parent or loved one.
I'm not tough when it comes to my kids...that hollow feeling in your gut is an indication of the depth of your love.
Feel privileged that you had the chance in this messed-up world to love deep and true.

Been there- 4 times over

They all tell you ...they're growing wings shows you that you raised them right.

It didn't lesson the empty hurt I felt.

Same here!!!^^^^^^^