And a miracle.
My stress is through the roof.
Health is beating me up. A lot of other personal issues too and make matters worse family is making things very very bad for me. Lies keep spreading & people want me dead all for stuff I didn't do or know or talk about. Went home to the rez earlier (second time all year) my family up there is mad at me for whatever rumors & lies they've heard.
I have zero family support not sure what I'll be doing or where i will be going. I can't hold a work schedule due to health but might be forced to work and can't make more than $1050 month since I've filed for disability.
Sorry had to vent and ask for prayers.

If you cant work to a schedule,do some volunteer work when you can.Sounds like you got yourself in a rut,time to switch gears and get some new perspective on life.Change the routine.
If someone has been spreading rumours or telling lies about you,I would address that forthwith.
Things will come around then.
God Bless.

Will do
Look for the local trash guy! Good help is hard to find

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

He will lift you up if you ask and believe Adam. You know this. Praying for you to be lead out of the desert you are in. LLL

Don't concern yourself with those who speak ill of you.

Focus forward

When stuff starts piling up it can paralyze you. My wife is bad about it. We are farmers, so I always tell her. Pretend you have a thousand acres to farm, and the rain is coming. You can only farm one acre at a time, so forget about the 999 left.

Prayers sent

prayed that you get the strength you need to overcome this

Prayers sent.

Family problems can be the most stressful. No matter how much you try not to care about what they think or ignore their opinions, at the end of the day they are still family.

One thing that has helped me is Matthew 6: 26-34. If God cares enough to provide for the birds and grass, how much more is he willing to help us? Just pause for a second every day and look around you. The vary environment will show you how caring God is.

We are not alone. This sounds like a process you will have to work out of. Have faith in God, cry out to him for help, and remember....if you are on the bottom, the only way left to go is up.

Find a good friend to vent/ cry to, it can be a big help.

Well you may not like to hear it but I'll say it. Don't let family drag you down. Let them gossip among themselves. Ignore them. Just live your life and don't let them ruin it. Sounds to me like you did a good thing by staying away as long as you did.

I have been much happier in my life since I wrote off my dysfunctional family 45 years ago and never looked back. You have a happy life inside you ! Seize it by the throat and live all of it !

X2 I’ve written off the negativity and worthless people in my family.

Keep your head up and worry about your kids and wife. Live your life, not how others think you should act.

Take care of yourself Adam, I’ll pray for you.

Thanks everyone I appreciate it very much.
I refuse to not glorify God in this huge nasty mess. I could careless about most of the lies and rumors but there's a few I cannot ignore especially when courts are involved. I call out those doing the gossip and lies & they don't care the about the damage they are doing especially to my kids.

I have a few close friends I've been leaning on.

Good idea on volunteering. Even then I might be good for an hr due to health. Once I feel bad I'm done. I barely leave the house just because I know once I feel bad I need to rest and might not be able to function especially if I start having seizures.

I was about to snap earlier. I pray that never happens because I won't be able to stop.

Please keep the prayers and encouragement coming.

Well there ya go !! Spend your energy taking care of yourself. Your wife and kids are depending on you. The gossipers are not !

prayin for ya brother,spent 40 yrs with anxiety and depression.not any fun but work at it and you'll find youre groove eventually.biggest thing for me is screw what others think but that is also the hardest for me to overcome.here for ya and so are alot of other people on this great site.

Praying.

Sent with prayer

Lord God, first off I give thanks to all your blessings upon me, my household, and our nation. Lord, you see and know of Adam. You know the numbers of hairs on his head as your Word says. God you alone have created this man to serve you and to have joy in you God. I pray the Holy Spirit brings patience and understanding to Adam. May he reflect upon you Lord and am thankful for all that you have shown him in his years here on Earth. Lord, I pray you show Adam your way for him. Let him not look to the left or to the right, but keep his eyes fixed on You our eternal savior. God, I rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus Christ in these attacks against Adam and his immediate family. God, I pray Adam grows in strength physically and spiritually. Lord, may his strength come from you. May his knowledge of you increase and worldly concerns decrease. Lord, let him know - he has fellow brothers he may never meet until heaven - and we stand on his behalf before you Lord. God may his love for you abound. Thank you Jesus.

Anything that presents it's self as a constant negative, has to GO. Build on the positives and keep your head up while doing so. My best to you adam.

Very nice prayer TreedaBlackdog.

Thanks everyone. It means a lot to me. Please keep the prayers and encouragement coming

Praying for you often Adam! I cannot add much to the advice above, just prayers!