online dating - outdoorsmen

Ok , Heres the deal , lost my wife to a long battle with cancer back in june .

BLESS HER SOUL !

Thinking its time to move forward , anybody using an online dating site to meet their next adventure ?

Sorry to hear about your loss.

I have a few friends who like farmers only

Yep considering that one , was born a farmers son .

must be awful to lose your wife. good to see your ready to keep on living.

Still think grocery, gym, stores or out in the field of your interest/hobbies would be a better avenue first. Seen "LOTS" of things go wrong on them sites. Good intent, but badly taken advantage of by folks and not in a good way. Know some folks who have found the "love" of their life as well, but it took a long while for them to by using them sites. That would be a last resort effort..be careful and good luck jmo

Might have better 'luck' if you are not actively looking. Just live your life as best you can.

Sorry to hear of your sad circumstances.

interesting white , but my dog gets tired of my gabbing ! lol . Im sure your advice is sound , just looking about may be entertaining , or enlightening .

If I were in your position I would be involved in community stuff and active with some local groups. You'll meet someone when you are least expecting it. Don't fall into the trap of wanting something too much.

Prayers sent to your dog !

Online is a great way to go, especially for somebody in your situation....it puts you in contact with women you know are available and interested in finding somebody. A casual date and you will know if you want to get to know that person better...if not, move on to the next. It works better in areas where there are a lot of people as there will be more people on the site. Also, I would go with larger services, not ones that restrict to small groups of the bat. Just make sure you are honest about yourself in the profile and see how it goes. You can still be open to meeting somebody through other avenues, this is just one more tool in the box.

Been in this exact spot about 6 years ago. Tried farmers only and after dating several different women from completely crazy to just not compatible. Found a great one and we've been together 4 years now. Several of the couples we know also met online.

Before joining a dating site maybe a support group for widowers might help too. Give yourself some time to heal.

My brother lost his wife of forty-something years to cancer two years ago. He took some time, got himself collected and then struck up a relationship with a girl he dated in high school fifty years back. He keeps himself so busy he hardly has time for romance.

I know of several guys who just couldn't find a good one with today's American women spoiled rotten, so they got a Phillippino wife. Takes a lot to get them here, but the Phillippinos are all dirt poor and really appreciate having something for once in their life and make good wives.

Should read "you think are available" and hope they are interested in really finding someone. I could tell you many true stories of situations where I've had to deal with folks who've used them sites. All I'll type is be very careful.

Sorry for your loss. I don't know how I'd function without mine.

As for the on-line dating, maybe you should just look at it as a new adventure for you. I could see advantages to using such a site to meet new folks.
One thing you gotta be careful with is the friend and family fix-ups. It can make thing awkward if you break a heart, or even just stop calling the girl they though was perfect for you.

I think you should got for it and go into it hoping more to make new friends than to find a mate for a while.

A female friend of ours found "the perfect guy" on one of those services and after a dozen dates told us she was thinking of having him move in with her. I told her to do a background check first. Turns out he was being foreclosed on and had a list of minor arrests and judgments against him as long as my arm. Be careful.

I tried them sites about 4 years ago. If your wise you will figure out there's a learning curve to them if ur desperate then it wont matter what someone tells you. I'll give you one other piece of advise, its impossible to have a healthy relationship with another person if your not spiritually healthy yourself. Also you better go into dating FULLY aware that alot of people out there aren't there.

I lost my wife of 35 years to cancer 3 and a half years ago.
I have tried the online sites. I have met some real crazies. Most want to move in with you. A few are married.
Its kind of fun but be very careful.

You do not need to besperate it is how they word things and tell you what you want to hear nd then try to see what they can get from you in the end. Ned to watch and push there buttoms to see what they are made of and how true they are.

Just what we need....more foreign gold diggers with 3 kids and 50 cousins waiting to jump on a boat and follow them over.

Susan and I met online 20 years ago. Will have been married 15 years now this April. Sometimes a guy gets lucky.

Just be careful.

Ever watch 90 day fiance??

Got a good buddy who's first wife was a Phillippino. He got rid of her a long time ago but still has plenty of scars. Not emotional but actual physical scars. lol

Yes, it is not advisable to wire money to anybody you have not met in person. That goes for rich African uncles as well as online dating. Craigslist too.

Watched a conman on a TV interview one time. He said the secret to being good at conning people is using a con that they WANT to believe. That's why love and dating sites are the perfect place . I can promise you there's more scams than u think on there. Most people dont say anything because they are embarrassed about it. Had someone hack into my account once . Woke up the next morning and found out my account had emailed about a 100 ladies that night and all of them where at least 20 yrs older than me. Got some interesting responses, everything from I'm ok with the age difference to what kind of pervert are u.... I was pooping my pants... I can think of at least a dozen women I chatted with that I know for sure where scams ( but boy did they use some great pics for bait).

My neighbor played the online game for awhile. I think he got about 15 notches in his scoring stick before he had enough. There are some real dandies out there looking to take you to the cleaners. All of them smell real good, all of them have a good story, and all of them will do what it takes.

Good luck if you go this route, I think you could do a lot better with some of the other suggestions.

WS

There are some clever schemes being ran on them sites...^ tha right derr would be the least of a worry.

Of those dozen or so I think I experienced that were scams not one of them hit me up for money, one I could tell they were headed that way but I headed for the hills before we got there. I think most of them are smart enough to have you hooked pretty deep before the start reeling u in. With that said I met some nice ladies on there but you better have your big boy britches on before you get in that game.

One thing I'll add DONT click on any link they send you or download anything they tell you to.

From the perspective of a single female that has thought about trying on line dating - there are just as many men looking to scam women as there are women looking to scam men!! It works both ways.

For me, I will stick with looking at Trapping conventions. LOL

Fact

Get involved in organization that you have an interest in. BE CARFUL! on line. JMO

Very true..That's a big one, lots of active clients running through computers gathering info. Many times the individual sending you the link is just the "worker" and will get a fee just by getting you to download a server. The info they receive through that server will most likely go to the real individual who will benefit from the info the most if anything of value comes back.

Always ask for there end of year catch pic. Lol if they dont understand or cant provide move on

Quite a wide range of responses so far , which is what I was looking for and I thank each and every one of you . will soon be 57 years of age and im pretty sure there's enough undamaged , heart , mind and soul to endure another serious relationship or two . in an ideal situation one would be inclined to think such sites could shorten the route to positive match.
any more opinions or experiences to share out there in happy trapper land ?

LOL bow hunter that's a great outcome , congrats to you and yours , and praise be for the lord !

tried the online 11 years ago. Met some nice ladies. Had a really good time with a few of them. Also met some of the most messed up women one could find.
Made two really good friends. I would have been more open to either of them, but in both cases, we both knew we could have never had a full time relationship. One I am still friends with today.

Met my current S.O. in a way I swore I never would. Was doing a job for her sister and got introduced. I swore I would never pursue any type relationship with any customer. Well, we have been together now for nearly 11 years. I couldn't ask for a better gal to put up with or have put up with me.

When it is time, and the stars align, you will meet that special lady. Till then keep punching, keep your eyes wide open and by all means, be yourself.

Met my wife online, you just have to know what you want and don't want..

I will add my story to the list so here goes I met my wife online and we communicated for several months before we actually meet then communicated for a couple more ( she lived in China) before meeting again in person, after about a year of online and video chats ect we got married which we were for 25 years and 2 kids

Now divorced but still get along and see each other now and Then we just had different ideas about wher we were headed after the kids were all gone

I made but do it again but really gut now don’t really feel the need

But like said be careful lots of so called dating sites are just money traps for lonely people, one way to tell is it all the photos look like they should be a models portfolio it is most likly a trap site or if you join and suddenly get a lot of unsolicited mail from attractive women or men and the site has a pay to view system and all the letters are heavy on the make me yours type talk run don’t walk it is likly a scam

I think it was a lot more easier 30 years ago back then I actually was not looking for a serious relationship just someone to talk to wasn’t a bad marriage though and I do get 2 great kids from it

Let your friends and family know you want to start looking. Somebody will know somebody that is single a probably a good catch.

Sorry, but I can't give you much advice in this field.
However, before you even think about dating you should check out this Youtube video (maybe you've already seen it).
The "Hot crazy matrix" really does have some good points; pretty funny too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwbKYcBdVyk

I tried an on-line site 8 years ago. I started messaging a gal about 90 miles away. We met for the first time on Easter Sunday 2011. We have been together ever since. We are both divorced and in our later 50's. Best thing that has happened to me. We're not married, probably never will. Not interested after a bad 23 year marriage.

I was on the sites off and on for a long time, but eventually found my "lady" of my dreams. Five years and still going strong. I read a lot of profiles and chatted to quite a few lonely females. If you find anything questionable, move on. Keep at it, sometimes it takes a long time. The good ones are out there. You do have to pick carefully. The scammers are there also. Go with your instincts and do not push things. You have to just let the magic happen. Good luck to you.

mm

That there was the very reason I went online because their idea of a good catch and mine were totally different

Maybe the boss man will allow a "find the perfect outdoor Partner thread " here in the trapperman forums. I've met a bunch of really nice fellow trappers and outdoor enthusiasts here over the years. Been a real treat chatting and commenting here in the forums. Paul could probably make his second million selling advertising space on that page !! LOL

Until it gets taken advantage of and starts to facilitate fraudulent activities and the law takes it over or gets involved. It's getting tougher by the day to continue to keep and hold on to nice things that people appreciate.

Trapperman dating site , hmm does have a nice ring ! Yo bossman : What you say ?

I have a friend who met someone online and is happily married. I know another person who inadvertently aided a federal fugitive and thought she was in a happy relationship until the FBI came through her door. Be careful. Anything that’s too good to be true, is. Background checks are worth it.

Unfortunately I have only had one experience with online dating sites, it wasn't horrible but wish it was better. I had plenty of "matches" but none of them would respond to me. I realize I am an ugly person and all but you would think they could at least say no thank you instead of ignoring you lol. I was only on there a short time but it felt pretty useless to me. Maybe I am just meant to be single.

Aww just do it the old fashioned way, walk around with hundred dollar bills hanging outta your pockets. You will get all the attention you want. She's gonna grab for your money sooner or later so get the grabbing done right off the bat.

On the other hand I know two middle aged guys who went the Russian bride route. Holy Moley those are two beautiful gals. The upside is after 5 years or so they'll have our language down and citizenship and probably run off and you get to do it again!

Signature below.

Osky

I guess if your into dating dudes....

I wouldn't go on those sites.You think your talking to a hot blonde and it turns out to be some bugaboo from Nigeria.
Just groom yourself up,dress good, go socialize,check a few out crocodile Dundee style,you'll be hooked up in no time.
Seriously,the best bet is meeting someone thru mutual friends.

there are lovely ladies on this site daily , grum

seeing a lot of positives ; any more folks ?

Church
Get you a good woman that goes to church

Hope this goes well for you..

My wife and I met on farmers only. That was 6 yrs ago and still going strong. It can work for some.

I'm sure there are but I'm a percentage guy....

She must of been a wild one.

Yep that would good place to start.

Going to give you some advice. Most women on sites are there to pick and torment men as their sport. A woman will get 50 responses where men get none. With that stated, you got to think of this as a trapper. A guy around here who had his wife die last year, found a new one while on a grieving spouses site. Location, location, location.
You listen to a woman. You do not come onto a woman as they fend that off all the time. As I told my spouse, every person you meet you have already decided if it is matrimony or going to waste their time. You let people know you are thinking matrimony and it gets serious right away and it weeds out the players.

If I were you, I would make my sets local and then see who decides you got promise, as the woman always chooses. Chances are you got women there sizing you up and not being forward as to your situation.

There are just so many grocery carts you can smash into before you get thrown out of the store. I am by no means a bar type person but met my wife of 30 yrs this coming June in one. Higher class place where foke were dressed up. In NY everyplace is smoke free now not when I was in my dating years. I have stopped at line dancing places to pickup my wife when she was with friends and that seems like a decent place. Not a bar by any means more of a just refreshments and snacks while learning to line dance.

You may never be able to replace the happiness you had with your wife, watch what you wish for. I guess if was me I would just stay involved with life and see what happens.

What's the hurry ?

i found one on "plenty of fish" been married 4 years come june. dated for 2 years.

So sorry for the loss of your wife!
Hal has some pretty nieces. Maybe he could set you up with one on a date??

God I love the diversity of peoples on this site ! Keep it coming folks this getting old battered heart is still pumping , im betting theres at least two hundred " dudes " on here that would love to have the likes of me for a brother in law ! some just show it in an odd way !

Lost my wife of 24 years to Ovarian Cancer in 2015. After about 2 years of not really looking or wanting to I tried the online sites. I tried most of the big well known ones, and some of the smaller ones.

eHarmony will not allow you to post any pics in your profile of dead animals. Farmers Only was ok, but the majority of the women on there my age were “animal lovers”, and stated so in their profiles. They did not like my trapping!! Our Time was ok, mostly they were not compatible to my form of outdoor lifestyle. Tried Pile of Fish. It was ok. And has a free version.

Like anything it can be full of scammers. What amazed me was on every site I had multiple contacts from supposedly young beautiful women(which I did not want) from Ghana. That is in West Africa. They all had the similar stories.

There are of course many great women on those sites as well.

I also have met a couple of nice ladies at the VFW and Legion.

I hunt ALOT!! Maybe 120 days a year. I trap ALOT!! About 45 days a year. Many days it’s trapping am, hunting pm. Fish ALOT. Catch snappers too!! Dig ramps. Off months I reload and shoot. I am very conservative minded.

Why did I mention that?? Well, you do not have to have a lady that hunts/traps/etc. However, you do need one that accepts that lifestyle fully.

As you need to accept her lifestyle fully.

I have been married 3 times. 4, 6, and 24 years. In all 3 we were not compatible and it caused issues. At 61 I now realize that. Just do not let loneliness or excitement of a new relationship make you believe incompatibility won’t matter. It will at some point.

If I sound negative, I am not. I dropped off all the online sites. Enjoying my health, financial freedom, and thanking God for blessing me.

I am sorry for your loss. Take your time. Go in with your eyes open. Have some fun. And good luck!!!!

agreed sshaffer , my life experiences with the opposite sex concur with yours , the first wife of nine years was bisexual and would not share her other lovers , lol . the second wife of twenty years was great , until the cancer , cemo , med drugs - which led to alcoholism , granted im an understanding individual , and willing to work through anything life throws at ya . its just down right mind blowing to the male nature to fix everything and find you cant fix something , you accept your position and make the most of it and move on .

Wait one year before making any major changes in you life after some major happen. Example, husband pass away, wife want to move 100 miles away to live with kids. Wait, let thing settle down. Now in some cases she may have to. But wait that year, then make that discussion. JMO

Friend of mine met his wife in the checkout line at a grocery store. He"says" he had forgotten a package of hamburger buns but conveniently said it out loud in front of the woman who is now is wife that owns a small restaurant and luck had it, had an abundance of them and gave a package to him. Ended up meeting up with the woman in the parking lot, exchanged numbers and the rest is history. Now whether or not he really forgot them, and just wanted to spark up a convo with her is a mystery. Life is short, tomorrow isn't promised.

Agree with Getting There, especially financial decisions.

Why wait , i'm not a dog at the end of his chain. lol

I wouldn't recommend using any of the free sites. Those are where 65 year old men who drive panel vans disguise themselves as 21-year-old hard bodied supermodels and you end up losing a kidney....

ol' dad

Lots of advice on here! As far as things go here, if I end up single after these 40+ years, I already have a plan.....going to live out the rest of my life as I planned to when I got out of High School...just like my hero, Rancid Crabtree!

My Mom lost tens of thousands of dollars searching for companionship online. Be VERY careful. Lots of men and women out there looking to take advantage of lonely people.

no experience with the online stuff

but, i met my wife at a time when i wasn't looking.
we met during everyday life and it grew from there. that was 15 years ago and we've been together ever since.

If I was looking today, I might consider online, but would still want it to be somewhat local - with an understanding that I ain't moving.
I hunt, fish, trap, and i do at least one of them year round.

i eat meat
not having anymore kids.
i like my dog, and i don't like cats.

etc. etc. and so on

the number one and two things i see that ruins relationships in the long run is people not being who they truly are from the get go - and people thinking they can change the other person in the long run.

Have you seen the true movie (on Bravo) "Dirty John"? you'll think twice about dating sites... The best advise I saw on here is go to a Bereavement meeting or two...
Best of luck...

My dad's best friend lost his wife 5 years ago after 40+ years of marriage, he dated a woman shortly after that bit it didn't work out. And then he got to talking to a guy who had married a phillipino woman and was happy. The guy tells him that his wife has other family that are looking for an American man. After talking over the phone for awhile with the ladies 20 yr old niece he took off to the Philippines. Not long after his trip he brings her over here and married her. He sends money to her family weekly, and he bought his new bride a new car and put her in college. Now she comes home when she needs something or money but that's about it. We tried to tell him before but he was so lonely and desperate he didn't care. She's just using him, and it's been 2 years and it's worse. Only sees her when she wants something but want divorce her. No 20 yr old woman is going to marry and 70 year old man for the right reasons. Good luck with your search but be careful

Pat and I met online (kinda). Even though we grew up in the same small town we didn't get to know each other until adulthood thanks to liquor and anonymous online harassment and bantering. I don't think it ever woulda worked had someone set us up or if we had been swiping on dating apps. The bottom line is that it can't be forced. We got to know eachother on each of our own terms and neither of us were looking for a relationship and that's why it worked out.

there is a saying among filipino,Matandang mayaman madaling mamatay...it means rich old man soon to die and wife gets the money etc. He
he should never have picked a child,let alone a child without college degree.
there is a saying among filipino,Matandang mayaman madaling mamatay...it means old rich man soon to die and wife gets the money etc or very similar translation. It was a joke yrs ago but the younger generations 50 yrs and younger take it Very seriously. He should have done his homework. Its up to him to stop sending cash before they bleed him dry. 12 yrs in the Philippines..i know

guy down the road is 61 and just had a baby with his 26 yr old girlfriend.

to asians thats an insurance policy...at least s.e. asians
But that being said...if u find a good one they are great

4 months ago he was the happiest man on the planet,think he is staying at his parents now.

lots of advice and opinions here and I thank each and every one of you !

Russian with a prenup, some of those girls are hot.