Millennial Wedding

My niece is standing up to a wedding in Wisconsin. The bride is having a bachelorette party in New Orleans and expects the wedding party to take a week off of work and fly to New Orleans at their expense. The groom is expecting the same thing from the groomsmen but they are going to Las Vegas.

My niece (25) is a level headed nurse and while she can afford it, others can't and she doesn't want to use half of her annual vacation for this. She said the wedding itself will be lavish. She doesn't want to create an issue and is trying to tactfully say no.

My comment was that for somebody to put their friends in such a predicament just shows how self centered and selfish they both are and I would guess this will end up being a short lived marriage.

Is this common now? Am I completely out of tune with that generation? The whole thing seems ridiculous to me.

Wow. I'm with you - that's nuts.

You are absolutely correct but remember this is the 21st century!

Not really a new thing.

That's insane. if the bride and the groom expect the party to fly out it should be on their dime.
Your niece should just tell them she can't take 1 week off

Going to Vegas for a Bachelor party is a new thing that millennials started? Really?
Getting tired of this song about millennials this and millennials that. Quit being a copycat of all the other old grumps.

Your neice , on behalf of all those who cant afford it , should tell them to pound sand.

Chances are the marrige wont last anyway...............they have unrealistic expectations .........la la land

This old grump is entitled to have an opinion just as you are entitled to disagree.

It's quite popular now, I'm 25 and have been invited to a couple and my wife has been invited to a couple too. We have 2 kids. We haven't been to any, it's unpractical to us with kids. I wouldn't want to go anyway unless It was a hunting trip. That being said for my bachelor party we shot clay pigeons and roasted a pig I raised. I hate being in the millennial catgory.

Sounds to me like they are yet another group trying to "out-Facebook" everyone else. Expecting the entire wedding party to do all this on their own dime is ridiculous. I think the recommended "can't take the time off" is appropriate here.

Moosetrot-Yet Another Old Grump

Their mother's reinforce these ideas.

My niece graduated High School....HIGH SCHOOL! And just barely but she insisted having a party in the Bahamas.

These little princesses need to wake up to reality and be put in their place.

It's mostly a newer thing. More than one study has shown a direct correlation between the amount of money spent on a wedding and the rate of divorce, the more a couple spends on their wedding, the higher their rate of divorce. I personally know a couple who spent 35,000 dollars on their wedding and are just now finalizing their divorce. Their one year anniversary was in august. Part of their divorce settlement is to split the wedding debt.

I feel sorry for the groom, I guess ignorance is bliss........for a while.

wedding cost and divorce rate study

Here's a link that talks about one such study.

Have a niece that age that just got married, after postponing it 3 times, Dec. 22 in northern Minnesota, cold...
but she wanted everyone to come to the engagement party, bachelorette party, the pre wedding party, the after wedding party,.... half of which was all over the country., Oh, she's having an after, after wedding party this spring.
Told my wife...just say no,..not just no , but H#LL no!
Another princess who's only interested in the wedding photos of HER,, the groom was cropped out of the ones she liked the most , and the parties.

Even her own brother said he felt sorry for the groom

That's insane but I believe it. Been to 2 weddings were just the gazebo rental is $5000
Our wedding we spent less than $2000 total and that includes the rings and hotel room. The ring I bought was around $1000 (paid on layway) 3 diamond white gold. She spent maybe $300 on her dress and my tungsten ring w/1 diamond. That was over 10 years ago.

Millennial here, I've been to 31 weddings in the past 5 years. Here is my 2 cents:

I'm 28 with 2 kids and have been married for 3 years now. I have had many, many friends get married in the past 5 years and have done a wide variety of bachelor parties. Some of them are weekend trips such as driving to Nashville or renting houseboats. However, just as often I have went golfing at the local course, canoeing, fishing and pheasant hunting. Small day or weekend trips that cost less than $200 all together is the norm NOT the big expensive trips.

I have been invited on trips to Las Vegas and Miami and I did not go. Its just not really my thing, but in my experience the people planning these trips understood that not everyone would be able to go. They invited people to go, not expected them to go. To me that is the big difference. And if there are young people with free time and disposable income, I fail to see the problem with going on a trip with willing friends.

As far as the actual weddings themselves, I have been to everything from weddings held in our barn to expensive country clubs. So far there is no correlation to marriage success. I understand that 5 years is a small period of time, but of the 31 I have been to only 1 has ended in divorce. Heck, even my hunting buddy that married a vegan girl are going strong.

Millennials get a bad reputation for being selfish and entitled, however in my experience that is the exception instead of the norm, at least in my group of friends. Are there annoying and self centered ones? Yup. But there are also a pile of terrible 40 somethings, and 60 somethings. My 82 year old grandmother even deals with constant bickering among her friends.

Take it for what its worth, just my experience.

^^^^^^
The experiences you've had with your friends and their marriages just shows that you've chosen good friends over the years.

Back when he was in school a few years ago my nephew rented a Batman costume and staged a "scene" at his school, all to ask a girl to the prom.

Just to upstage the most recent ridiculous invitation to......a dance.

What is wrong with these people?

My wife is going through this right now. Her friend wanted a bachlorette party in New Orleans, I just told my wife she couldnt go and she used that as a excuse.

There is a bunch of new TV shows on now that glorify dramas around weddings, the brides on these shows are referred to "bridezillas" and women are using those maniacs to justify their own poor behavior.

I’m from Pa. and have known of several destination weddings in both Cancun and the Outer Banks. I opted out of them, the wife went in my stead. She’s at Disneyworld now with the daughter and grandkids, I’m at camp in Snow Shoe, Pa. Unless I’m going somewhere to shoot something, I’m not much of a traveler.

I also think those "reveal Parties" are nothing but a LOOK-AT-ME event for spoiled children in adult bodies.

To the OP tell your niece to tell them that she can not do it and let it go with that. It dose not matter what time of what generation it is there was some back in the days done the same but you do not hear as much about it. I say she should just say no. As for the bride and groom that is there problem of how long they will stay together.

I am on the older end of the millenial generation UNFORTUNATELY and even I say that is ridiculous. Personally, if a friend asked me to do that, I'd have to reconsider how good of a friend they really are. Seems completely self-centered. The world does NOT revolve around you.

In the cases I’m used to, when they travel like that it was the party, wedding, and then the honeymoon all in one mostly to Vegas. They invited people but it was always your discretion weather you went or not everybody always understood. Main reason was they didn’t want people in town judging the wedding.

My wife has a friend that had a destination wedding and bachelorette party. Cost me a fortune. Her father spent close to $45,000 on the wedding way up in Vermont(we live in NC and so does she ). She was very self centered the entire time. I know it’s her special day and all but it was way over the top. Expected us to hang out with them all night after the reception at the hotel. I finally said drew it and went to bed around 2 that morning. When our wedding came around she didn’t reciprocate as well as you would expect. That marriage lasted about 5 years they split up for a year or two until she realized she could t live the lifestyle she wanted on a single teachers salary with two kids. This is what happens later in life when your children haven’t been told NO.

Wedding etiquette dictates that the brides family pay for travel expenses for destination weddings. I was told I was being rude for bringing that up and proving it in Emily Post book of etiquette. In the end I paid anyhow. Plane tickets cost us $600 each(apparently it’s not cheap to fly into Burlington) $400 for hotel. No telling what I paid for my wife’s hair and makeup at that time she wouldn’t tell me what the cost were.

Weddings and funerals. A big waste of money.

Oh boy you're right on about funerals! Even if you just want to be roasted to ashes they charge you an arm and a leg.

If it was legal I'd direct my family to just plant me in the mud in the swamp next to the lake.

Well my wife and I are going through the planning with my daughter who is getting married this next fall. So far seems like she is very thrifty and knows that spending a lot of money on a one day event probably isn't a real great idea. Knowing that spending $1000 or $10,000 isnt going to change much. You are still getting married.

I've got 3 daughters. Two are of marrying age but haven't done so yet. They know there will be no extravagant nonsense paid for out of my wallet. I have no problem with a decent, low key wedding and celebration with close friends and family, but thats it.

Psying for a tux is almost too much...let alone that!!!

I’ve got a friend who gave each of their children $15,000 when they were getting married. That’s all he gave them. What they did with it was up to them. They could do a justice of the peace wedding and save the money or spend it however they wanted. Two of the three spent an excess of that to get married. The first one spent about half and saved the rest.