Chuck Norris

And after the march, the leader came over and cleaned his bathroom and made Chuck a chicken pot pie.

Keith

Chuck isn't hung like a horse...........horses are hung like Chuck.

.made Dirty Harry take a shower.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas....

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag, he potato sacks.

Chuck Norris was bit by cobra. After 5 excruciating days of suffering the cobra finally died

The boogey man checks for Chuck Norris under his bed.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris never submits.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris incident.

He was replaced by a truck

^^^Hilarious!!!

Every marathon I've ran in there is always a sign or two about chuck Norris never ran a marathon.
Growing up in 70s and 80s I watched a lot of chuck movies, and every time I go by those signs it makes me smile, makes me feel like a tough guy too, even though I'm certainly no chuck norris.

Jim

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug. The bear isn't dead just scared to move

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?? All of them.....

A lot of people think there is a chin under Chuck Norris’s beard. There’s not, it’s just another fist.

Bruce Lee kicked CLucky Norriss's A$$

Walker Texas ranger - only man to shoot 1238 people and have not one drop of blood hit the ground. Oh yes he shot them

When Walker Texas Ranger first aired in France...they surrendered.

did you know?
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

Great thread! I used to love those Chuck Norris jokes.

Clint Locklear can set a beaver trap in the dark while standing on his head in five feet of water and catch a blanket every time..opps wrong thread.

That is the funniest thing to ever be put on the internet!

Chuck Norris took a bottle of sleeping pills and only blinked once

Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.

OK, the three hole punch gave me a case of the giggles.

Lol
Same here

ghosts sit around the campfire and tell chuck Norris stories

when dr banner gets mad...he turns into hulk............when hulk gets mad......he turns into chuck norris

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush, he scares the crap out of the toilet

Whenever Chuck Norris's wife asks him nicely to do the dishes, he throws them in the garbage and tells her she looks fat.

Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands, now there just called the islands

There are no such thing as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 28 people. Then it exploded.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends. Don't ask how I know, I don't wanna talk about it.


RIP Pepe.....

Chuck Norris gets 1600 on the SAT just for writing his name.

This one ^^^ is probably my all time favorite.

I used to have a poster with a bunch of Chuck Norris facts, I only remember a couple...

Any number multiplied by Chuck Norris equals 1... 1 roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Mike

Chuck Norris's guns clean themselves

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris never sleeps. He just waits. Chuck Norris eats unicorns because he likes his meat rare.

stealing that one

Anyone getting hit by Chuck Norris has to pack a lunch, because it's a long walk back!!!

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.

Chuck Norris once hit a cyclops between the eyes.

From the "Get Smart movie:

Max finds himself in a warehouse surrounded by KAOS agents. He says, "Right this minute this building is surrounded by 100 SWAT team men with automatic weapons!"

The KAOS leader says, "I don't believe you."

Max says, "Would you believe 10 armed police officers?"

"No."

"How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?"

When one of his movies was shown at the mall I was at in the early 80's I seen him in person. Also found out years after one of my uncles died from one of my sisters that my uncle was friends with Chuck. That when ever Chuck show up in CA he would stop by at my uncles house. This is not a joke .My sister seen the photos on the wall of my uncle with Chuck.She ask him about it.My uncle is dead now.

Man your a piece of work!! Good one

Chuck Norris carved out the faces on Mount Rushmore on his lunch break.

Oh I like that. We make fun but if it ever happened, my money would be on the Duke, pilgrim!

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack... even a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

1lessdog, thats a good one!!

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

Where I work, they stock the rest rooms with Chuck Norris toilet paper. Because , just like Chuck, It doesn't take crap off of anybody!

They must stock porta pottys with the Chuck Norris family tree scratch paper in that case. Every trip into one is a horror film, to little pressure and there is the smearing effect. To much and a clean pass thru.

Now I'm dreading monday

I had to dig this thread up, I'm having a Norris battle with my 13 year old son!

Chuck Norris doesn't skin his catches, they jump out of their hide.

These are great.

Not a joke... Type "find Chuck Norris" into google

https://www.google.com/search?q=fin...&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

Only Bruce Lee was able to defeat Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris won American Idol, using sign language.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands........................ Now they are just The Islands.


Adam, did ya think this thread would still be going lol.

Chuck Norris can't get covid.....covid gets Chuck Norris.

What the chuck, it's still going

When Chuck Norris and Covid-19 make contact, Covid-19 goes into isolation!!!