How do you

Teach gratitude to a 20 year old?

Start when they are 20 months old.

Kick them out when they are 16.

Send them to a third world country.

At 20 it is difficult if they do not already have it. 10 years from now that may all change, though!

Chris

Too late

They might figure it out in their 50s though

Unfortunately he didn’t have those parents.




Actually his Mother bailed on him.



Spent some time in jail, that’s as close as he’ll get to third world.

You dont. they will have to learn it themselves now.

Well that certainly isn’t very encouraging.

I have dealt with a couple of relatives, all sorts of "values" -- they will not learn until they are ready. One is in jail now (as a minor ) the other is finally coming around ( at 28). It is a lengthy process and not one filled with a sense of accomplishment but it is a job that needs to be done. Perservere -- for the sake of all of us. Be the only stable influence in their lives.

If he is living with you and you are paying his bills, make him do chores or what ever you need. If t do them you feed him, don't do his laundry make him do everything for himself. Then explain to him that when he learns to be grateful what he has and you do and have done for him. Maybe he will understand.

Garry-

Million dollar question. If you figure it out, write a book, you will have a billion dollar solution.

is he willing to listen?
it might just take explaining it to him.

but he needs a few harsh realities he probably missed along the way to help understand.

1 The world owes you nothing , I don't care who you are or how bad you have it the world owes you nothing

if approach things with the idea that the world , society ect , owes you any thing or is in any way indebted to you , you will never understand gratitude.

2. there is NO free Lunch , everything costs some body something

if you are not paying you are the product or the beneficiary of charity

if you aren't grateful for charity , you will soon loose the charity.

Happy Birthday!

This is where things are.

I appreciate everybody’s response.

He is on his way to becoming a very good 2020 socialist.

Its not too late.Actually between 20 and 23 is about normal when boys start to figure out the real world these days.Figured things out much younger than that when I was growing up.Keep them off the drugs is a biggy these days.Good luck Hobbie.Don't give up.

Start when they are a infant

With a pipe wrench. Beat him about the shoulders and buttocks for a few minutes and he will be grateful when you stop.

i'm blessed.

23 yr old is a Staff Seargent in Minot.

and my 20 yr old is doing 14-12 hr day building well locations in W.Virginia.

i certainly do see a lot of what you speak of though and feel sorry for them as usually it isn't their fault.

My thoughts....

Deep gratitude comes from loss I think, so I tend to focus on values first. Just from my own experiences. Couple a good stingers tends to bring into focus what's really important and then gratitude kicked in...

But it's a deliberate thing that I practice, seek out something each day to truly be grateful for, turn the TV and depressing world off (haven't watched the tube in decades and I'm better for it). I don't know how to teach it to someone.

Surely this is different for everyone...no?

One of my sons is a big shot manager and the other is a business owner, both of them fathers. My daughter is a straight A student and looking at colleges. Will they ever be grateful for things? I hope so but I'm grateful to be playing a big role in their worlds and figure if I show them that I'm grateful to have them in mine then reciprocating it might not be such a strange concept.

Teaching my kids went pretty easy as I had parents that made sure I understood it.

We have a gentleman that has experienced a childhood I know nothing about. His actions are a kin to puppies sorting things out over the food bowl. Only it appears his parents would also be in that picture as well.

How do you have kids and not sacrifice for them?

Anyway, a little history won’t change much but so you folks know a little more of the situation. His brother and sister attend our youth group. There came a time when they were homeless. The church family came together and made the decision to rent the parsonage, which was not in use, to them for what they could afford. The mother after not paying the rent for a number of months skips out on the kids. Unbelievable. They wake up and she is gone. It wasn’t until a wellness check that it was discovered.

The kids not sure what to do reached out to the older brother so he was there when the discovery happened.

Many other things have happened to lend a positive start, he just doesn’t see them that way.

Other things he has done lead me to believe there is a good heart in him but he just won’t continue the effort.