Help! Dads with teenage daughters.

I have a 15 and 3/4 year old daughter and the boys are starting to come calling. My question is at what age did you let your daughters date? What should I look out for?

All boy's are the Devil just remember that, they will corrupt your daughter sooner or later.
I let my daughter to start dating at age 16 but not on her own. Best of luck your going to need it.

I don't want to remember those times Raised 3 daughters...If you say no...they'll find a way around it

I had 3 all teens together for a while.

I have 2 daughters and they are full grown. Gave me 4 grandkids. You brought her up right so trust her. Had a couple of boys that I thought were trouble so I was cleaning a shotgun when they showed up. Told them what I thought and to my knowledge it was only one date. Trust. You raised them right. Went with a few in college that their parents were very protective with them in high school. To say the least they were making up for lost time

You might qualify for saint hood.

This was my experience and also now my concern as a father.

I figure I'll trust my girls and that I raised them right. What I have noticed is that the more freedom/responsibility I give them the more careful they are.

Ours is now 20. Our rule was that she couldn't date until she was 16. The word "date" means different things to different people. I couldn't stop her from saying she was dating someone but she wasn't going on a "date" with said boyfriend until she was 16. We did let her go out as a group of friends even if her "date" was in the group but we paid a lot of attention to where she was going and who else was in the group of friends. We met a lot of her friends parents and we all coordinated together to protect our kids.

You can't protect them 100% of the time and if she considers your rules to be unreasonable, she will tell herself that there is no moral obligation to follow your rules. If that happens you will have to be heavy handed to keep control and your heavy handed rules will be unreasonable. Do your best to protect her while treading lightly. It's a difficult balance and we didn't always get it right. They don't come with a manual.

One thing that we did do right was to allow a male friend (she can call him whatever she wants) to come to our house or to come out with the family for dinner, bowling, or some other event. She usually brought another girlfriend or two to hide from us that the boy was more than a friend - she was a poor actress so we figured it out. This gave her a way to "date" with us always in the same room (or at least right around the corner). Not great for her or for us but it was a compromise.

Good luck. Here's the hard part. Try to enjoy her. You're going to snap her fingers and she will be out on her own.

Yep, college girls get lots of practice for when they get married. Lol.

I'll be there soon enough. My girls are 7, 5, and 4, so I'll have 3 teenage girls at once for a few years.

All that estrogen in the house . Gosh, That could be a nightmare. Good luck.

I never had a daughter. However, if I did, I would say 40ish would be a good age providing she is a mature 40ish.

offer to drive , they can date but you will drive.

school dances , out to eat ect. that is your rule you drive or they walk.

this was my plan , neither of my daughters 15 1/2 and 18 have really been much of an issue , I guess I have time for them to get interested in such a case I will drive.

3 girls . When a boy came to take out my youngest step daughter for the first time.I was skinning a beaver in the dining room .I met the boy and told him to behave himself,to make my point,I slammed my skinning knife into the plywood I had the beaver on.I then told him---that knife can be used for more than skinning beaver.Needless to say,that boy never came back
Tom

I have 3 boys. Lord help a parent that didn't install values in their girls.
My nephew takes the boys aside, talks to them..........not mean, just serious. Tell them what you expect of them and what your daughter means to you. Most don't come back. The good ones with good intentions do.

Our Daughter is a very bright , kind and caring young lady. She is very open with her mother and I . The boy came by to meet us last weekend he is 16 . He was very polite and talkative . He holds a couple of jobs and likes hunting and fishing.
He wants to come over this weekend again and my daughter wants to watch movies in the basement instead of in the living room with the rest of the family. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

Mine is 15 and it aint happening, i was young once and i know what to look out for lol

It has been my finding that those parents that don’t trust there daughters end up with ones that can’t be trusted, I have 2 one is out of the house and on her own and the other is still a bit away from my having to worry about who she dates, but I have done my best to instill not only high expectations in what I expect from them but also a good sense of values and self worth

It’s already been said but if you have raised her in a loving environment where she got to see how a woman should be treated and what a relationship looks like, you won’t have a lot to worry about.

Being a male, and I'm sure a majority of people on here share my gender(birth gender) I have come across some girls over the years that were insane but their parents thought they were angels. Sometimes its the girls that corrupt the guys. Anyhow, guys won't corrupt your daughter any more than her upbringing will allow for. If they are brought up right and know right from wrong she'll do as she has been taught. Expect the schools to do that for you and you wind up the crap you see on MTV these days.

Hahaha... and my Son was still a teen..... so 4 teens (and a Wife)
They would not call me a saint though during that time.

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Hahaha... and my Son was still a teen..... so 4 teens (and a Wife)
They would not call me a saint though during that time.
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Probably wouldn't call you sane either during that time.

Unless Nature takes over

....that's the Trump card... but alas- Grandkids smooth things over

If they're not old enough to marry, they're not old enough to date

They might move to a different marrying (sp.?) Age State.

Sounds like a nice young man, better watching movies in the basement than out somewhere else. Between brining them some popcorn, re-setting the fuse, (any siblings you can send down?), you should be able to be down there fairly often. Just saying...

I am 35 and up until 4 years ago was still chasing girls.

I will tell ya, parents be darned...if they are to stay out of trouble, there is nothing you can do at the time to keep them out of it. What you had to do was the years leading up to it to ensure they can stay out of trouble themselves.

That said, I was certainly not "trouble" in the eyes of any of the parents of the girls I was with in the past and all of the ones I met were happy to chat, and supported their daughters decisions. Parents liked me. To be honest, I think the "cleaning the shotgun when you first meet them" approach is a bit old, cliche, and "fudd ish" but that's not to say your reputation shouldn't precede you. I dated cops daughters, conservation officers daughters, and am friends with all the parents even still.

If you don't like the person, tell them them your point of view, tell her the guys is trouble and leave it at that. If the guy is bad enough he needs to be taken care of, do like an older french friend of mine did to a seriously bad apple his daughter was seeing...

"One day the guy just fell down the stairs and ended up in the hospital. And he never came around any more".

I have 4 boys so I have no personal experience, but I have heard some great programs on Focus on the family about father/daughter relationships and dating Lots of resources on there website. Good luck

And remove all blankets and coverings! I cant begin to remember all the times I was innocently in that scenario and the girl wanted to get frisky and risky while sitting with a blanket while family was there.

Alert, this is not first hand experience. I worked with a wise older carpenter many years ago that was kind enough to share his experience while we were eating lunch one day.
This older carpenter had a young teenage daughter that was starting to date. As I said, we were sitting around eating our lunch on a hot, humid, August day. One of the younger workers on the crew though he would tease the guy about his daughter about being at the age where she was starting to date.
The older guy, with out missing a beat, while polishing off a sandwich told us his secret.
He said he had not worried a bit since he started putting birth control pills into his daughters Cheerios. That got everyone roaring with laughter.

The solution is to deal with it long before dating is an issue.

Raise strong independent girls. Teach them to be assertive. Give them lots of responsibility and trust them to handle it. Be a good dad because that lays the groundwork for the type of boys/men they will want to date/marry.

16 was/is our rule. I meet the boy and we have a friendly but firm talk. I try to time this so I am working in my shop. If my words aren't enough, the many implements of death and destruction there get my point across.

No real problems yet.

If I remember correctly, we had a 10% pregnancy rate in my class going through HS.

we have two, 17 and 20.
neither "dated" anybody that could drive before they could.
at 15 3/4, I'd probably have been okay with them going on a date. prior to that, a movie or dinner was okay with a parent driving/dropping off. a parent or two would usually stay for the movie.

to me, it's important that they have/had certain freedoms and responsibilities before they were turned loose into the "real world".
We try to keep open communication with them, but they know that we are their parent first, and their friend second.
they also know that if they are in a bad situation, even if it is of their own making, we will help them out of it

If you have brought her up right, She can take care of herself at 16, and she'll do a good job of sorting out the guys.

Yep right out of my play book almost 50 yrs ago!!! Your bringing back the memories!!!

This, by the time they date, they should already know how a girl should be treated. That said, you have absolutely no power over whom she brings home, you can only hope for the best. Also first impressions are important. If he walks into a house where trust and obedience are the rule of the day, that will shape his behavior .
On a side note, a friend of mine had a young man ask once if he could sleep over, I believe his reply was " Sure, but your sleepin with ME".

Have a soon to be 19 year old daughter. You've got to show them that you trust them and give them some freedom within accepted boundaries. I compare it to a dog that's kept in a pen 24/7, if you open the gate you'll have a hard time catching them. However, social evil, I mean social media, is trouble. You need the password to all social media accounts and randomly check them. Don't forget that some gaming systems can access the internet.

Let them watch movies where ever they want. They want to be able to be themselves without being in the "public eye." That's just natural, but the door is always open. Pick your battles. They will have plenty of opportunities to do things you don't want going on unless you lock her up, and even then if they are serious about it they will find a way. The more freedom you can give the better. There is a reason the preacher's daughter is always the wildest gal in town.

We always said 35 is a good age... Honestly there's nothing you can do now, but hope for the best. You could do what I did to chase off my wife's boy friends... I just gave them a good handshake, and they never came back . But it's your daughter so that isn't a good idea. My daughter turned 19 this year and has her first boyfriend... It's kinda funny her boyfriend hasn't gotten close enough to shake my hand yet... hmmm. How did we do It? I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is that she was home schooled, took horse riding lessons, went fishing, target shooting, hunting, and trapping... she got her trappers certification when she was 12. She won a trap setting contest the same year at the Arizona's Trappers Association rendezvous, I feel bad for all them farm boy's who got whooped. Kepp her busy. What to look out for? Gray hair in the mirror.

Good Luck

Oldtrapper

Well good luck hope it works out. I guess I am so scared that my daughter will find someone like me. I will die or go to prison before I let that happen. Its not hard to talk a good girl in to being a bad one. I think the friends that a girl has says alot about how she will act. Girls are very easy to influence.

Just remember you are as dumb as you will ever be when your daughter is a teenager. You will get smarter as she grows older.

Thats a good one lol I will tell my dad that, my little sis sure gave him a hard time.

I remember what was in my mind at age 16. Because of that I wouldn't let a daughter date until she was 35 !