Fitting in

Wylee's thread and the responses to it got me thinking. Lots of people struggle with fitting in. Humans are social animals and need connections with other people to be healthy.

Most of my life I have struggled to fit in. Yes, I have been a member of all sorts of teams and organizations. But, I was never one of "the crowd" in any of those. I wasn't good enough at sports to be one of the "jocks" in school. I got really good grades, but wasn't part of student government or all the other clubs that the other honor roll kids were. I loved Boy Scouts, but I was into it far more than any of the other boys in my troop. Even when it comes to trapping and hunting, I am not part of the mainstream.

The key is to be happy with yourself and what you are doing. I live to keep my family and my wife happy. Let others judge me, I could care less. Other people want to always put you into a box, and if you don't fit they reject you. People aren't made to put into boxes of any type.

Live your life for you and your loved ones.

I think that goes for most trapper's ,

Yup....

Trapping and hunting (especially bowhunting) are pretty solitary endeavors.

I echo k snows experience. I wasnt a jock, scholar, burn out or prep but enjoyed facets of each. I figure that made me well rounded but never entirely fitting in which ive always been fine with. Being able to "butterfly" between different groups but never belonging has helped me tremendously in my career and overall as an adult.

You literally described me to a T. I too wasn't good at sports, got good grades but wasn't involved in school, was super involved in boy scouts, and live to please my family. I love trapping and hunting for the primal caveman need that it fulfills, has really nothing to do with money or meat, though those are big bonuses. I've never had more time than a couple people I'd really call friends, but a lot of aquaintences, and now all my friends live at my house

Maybe part of my messed up childhood, for whatever reason I always feel like an outsider, like people think I'm weird or whatever. It really used to bother me when I was younger, I made some bad decisions trying to fit in but I've learned that it doesnt really matter what people think of me, as long as my family thinks well of me.

X2 on all the above. Hunting fishing and working on a farm growing up I had no interest in clicks but got along well with everyone and had a few close friends that shared my interests. The older I get the more I value the relationships I have, and choose how to spend my time accordingly. Most things in life mean more when you are blessed with the opportunity to share them with family or close friends.

I've always felt like an outsider, but I think it's part of the deal when you're a hunter/trapper. I try not to get too hung up on that as it feels like navel gazing and I wouldn't trade it for the alternative.

I'll add that it feels like 95% of what makes us outsiders is that we enjoy waking up in the dark and heading out into the freezing woods and swamps when everyone else is in bed.

I would rather be a lone wolf then be front and center. I have always felt that I fit into groups or organization fairly well and that sometimes isn't all what it is cracked up to be. Just because a person fits in doesn't mean they are happy. You need to be you and do things for you.

Live my life to be Happy
Try to please God Above

Society be danged.

I guess I was lucky. I could fit in when I wanted to.

The older I have gotten the less I'm concerned that many in society don't fit in with who I am as an individual. I enjoy music but can drive alone for hours without turning the radio on.

Some people want to be part of every group. Most of those people move around a lot or have a second home some place and want to impress others. It is odd when living in your home town people will not speak to you. See them in there winter home and they are nice as can be. JMO

I went to 25 different schools here in the states and a couple overseas. Didn’t stay in one place till high school so never was a member of the clicks. Always made friends wherever we went, never the lone wolf type, but I’ve always been totally comfortable by myself as well. Since I was always big for my age there always was a bully, usually a couple years older, that had to learn one of life’s hard lessons. Got expelled from school in the fifth grade for breaking a kids neck when I hit him, I bet he never stabbed anyone else with a hat pin
Was running around eight to ten miles on my “trap line “ after school on foot so was pretty fit. The coach saw me pressing a couple hundred pounds doing squats and first yelled at me to quit before I hurt myself then started trying to get me to play football for them lol. Never did but I did compete in track and field. Wouldn’t trade the way I grew up with any one. Did I “fit in”? Nope and didn’t care! How many kids could say they had seen a bullfight in Spain, or stood in the holding cells of the Roman Coluseaum (sp), possibly where Daniel waited to face the lions?
I think we are either happy with who we are are not. Some people are just not comfortable in their own skin. As to Wylees situation, I sure hope things smooth out for him.

Self identity has been stripped because our culture. Also American materialistic behavior is also terrible for the soul. People have to keep up with their neighbor, and they buy crap they don't need, and the cycle keeps going on and on. It all starts in the schools. Perfect example. The cell phone thread. One guy here posted about phones being part of the social acceptance. That is the beginning of the end. It's clothes, shoes, cars. The list goes on and on. It can be hard to separate from for sure because it's all around us. They people that do are more happy though.

And you cannot buy what we really need.

I am glad to read that many of you have come to find happiness in life. I wish more people could.

Robert Service got it.....

The Men That Don't Fit In
BY ROBERT W. SERVICE
There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.

If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;
He's a man who won't fit in.

Source: The Spell of the Yukon, and Other Verses (1911)

Moosetrot

That's good Moosetrot, but some of us aren't wanderers. In fact, I prefer stability. I want to go to work, go home to my wife and enjoy life.

This is a good thread. I struggle with feeling like I fit in. I played spirts growing up and even competitively as an adult. However, very few people I’ve played with over the years share my passions. I also have spent 20 yrs toiling in a profession where trapping animals, killing big game for meat and fishing as often as I can, is not the norm when it comes to pleasurable pursuits.

My dad never hunted, fished or trapped, he just farmed. Those that are closest to me and who I feel I fit in with most are still people from my childhood.

Yeah, I know k snow. While I guess I was a wanderer early in life I come to really enjoy the benefits of home and family. I do have some great memories of great adventures to fall back on when the urge hits me. I have lived more life than most folks and have treasured every day.

Moosetrot

I fit In during my school years. I was good at sports I was In a click. And always had a hot steady girl friend.
But when It came to hunting fishing and trapping time I was doing my thing no matter what anyone else thought.

I often feel like I could go live in a cave (though my wife would prefer it be a cabin) in the deep mountains with a stockpile of supplies and my wife and kids with me, and n very see another person again, and be perfectly content for the rest of my life. I crave solitude except for my family and thehe wild,and don't get nearly enough of either to feed my soul.

I bet after 3 weeks you would be missing T man and would be coming back to your old way of life. And after 2 weeks your kids and the wife would have already left.

That supports my idea that humans need social interaction. Your children will never find their families (spouses) in isolation.

I noticed I don't fit in with the" in" crowd on trapperman.

I don't either, for different reasons than yourself. If you are okay with that, then great. If you want to be part of the in crowd, ask yourself why?

"What I want is what is I've not got, but what I need is all around me." Dave Matthews

Far too many people confuse want with need.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

I'd like to think I fit in, and everyone else doesn't.

Never tried to fit in. Did my own thing and took care of the family. Still have plenty of friends just do my outdoor activities by myself for the most part. That alone time makes me feel whole

I like being alone on a trap line. Me and Creation. Me and God's critters.
I like other people, all colors, but struggle when they start cussing, drinking, gossiping, making crude jokes thinking they're funny.
We are made in God's Image, to fellowship with others, and most are a really, really cool to hang with!

Blessings!
Mark

O really? Tell me what that may be like

For over four years it has been about impossible for me to get around in the marshes fields and woods safely and I have ached to be out there alone and on my own. Now I am up and about a lot more and am really looking forward to my first trek out into the river bottoms with my dog and noone else.

Moosetrot

I'm not sure if l fit into society or not but my dog and 2 mules like me. I'm a little suspect of the dog though.
Anyone up for a 3 hour tour.

Weirdos

All I know is I am perfectly normal. Not to sure about the rest of you.

Didn’t realize “fitting in” was a necessity in life. I do me. If folks like it great, if they don’t great. Don’t have many true friends, but those that are my friends know it for sure. And those that aren’t, well they know it too.
I played sports and always had a hot girlfriend. All my friends got sports cars for their first vehicles...I got a 4x4 truck, so guess who always wanted to go hunting/fishing with me, lol. I’ve always done my own thing and never really cared what others thought. I raised my kids to be/do the same. All anyone needs to please is themselves. If you’re happy, then your family will be happy with and around you.
I don’t have a clue if I “fit in” on here or how many have me on ignore. I enjoy the site and learn a lot. I may not get a lot of responses on a post or thread, but that doesn’t mean I don’t fit in or need to quit posting or even leave the site. I figure if I ever get banned I’ll know it was my time.

I am an absolute pleasure to be around (as far as I know anyway)

Would enjoy having a good yankee beer with you. Not that southern sfuff

X2

Good post. Lots of things I have in-common with most of you. Lots that we have in-common with each other.

I don’t always feel a need to express my opinion or point of view, but I am thankful for this site, for those times when I do. Received a lot of good advise about life and trapping from the folks here.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble----- Mac Davis
Bet you go to bed early so you can get up and look in the mirror

i like turtles.

Bahahahahaha. Now that's funny.

I'm like all the rest of you guys. I don't fit in either.

Can we please dig deeper into our feelings lol. Good Lord pcr's post is the only one that made sense and that say's a lot.

Cuff & Link ?

There was this one time, at band camp lol. Hawker has a great post too ya Nancy's.

Its worse when your super popular-everyone wants to be you.

Paparazzi are hades ain't they Boco.

I bet if we all took a Meyers Briggs test there would be many similarities between us. I think this pursuit attracts a certain personality type. One that craves solitude, one that loves independence, one that would prefer to fly under the radar when possible. My wanderlust manifests itself in the pursuit of a challenge. I’ve grown crops, raised rabbits, raised chickens, studied water and soil science, the Bible, Criminal justice, Higher education administration, animal behavior, and trapping, read thousands of pages on Churchill and T. Roosevelt. Now I’m dabbling in learning Russian. For some reason I just always have to have a challenge to stay fulfilled. My wife can’t figure out why I don’t find fulfillment with people and relationships But that’s just not how I’m wired for whatever reason. Took her forever to not take it as a personal slight.

I held farmer classes on 5-year cycles with one of 5 topics each year in the class portion. I always did a short form Meyers-Briggs during the year we had employee-employer topics along with partnerships. They were always fun and a learning experience. I invited spouses, significant others and or other family members in the business. The old stereo types we always kidded about were there. Most male farm owners were introverted and the females were extroverted. The quit strong, big shy farm boy is found by the outgoing engaging girl. In the USA of the adults taking the Meyers-Briggs about 65-70% of population is extroverted while 30-35% are introverted. There are obvious degrees of each on the spectrum. Extroverts get energized by being involved and active. High levels of human interaction for introverts makes they tired.
Introverts that have highly social and engaging careers need a lot of quiet time to regenerate. Extroverts need interaction to regenerate. Male farmers, loggers, commercial fishermen etc. are many times strong introverts.
Extroverts also build security or identity by what others think, say or feel about them. Introverts do this internally. Some of the more unhappy persons I consulted with were introverts with highly social and people demanding jobs. Many times they were the ones with the long, winding driveways with their house hidden as they just needed to isolate to get recharged.
With the society and economy heading more and more into service related careers, we have more introverts that have adjustment issues with those jobs and unfortunately many times it lives with them all their lives.
COVID shutdown and isolation has also been an issue for the bulk of us as we engaging with people as a way to maintain energy and balance. Also texts and forums such as this allows for non verbal and no body language input and thus is not as effective with extroverts as introverts.

Bryce

I have never thought about it. The guys on here that I haven’t met don’t know me so I don’t worry about it. The fellas I have met are top of the line. The few who seem to be not so nice at times are the type that after most of us sit around a fire for a few hours probably would be good friends!