Dumbest question you've ever been asked....

......while outdoors with someone?

I'll start. It was asked right where this picture was taken (not by either of these two guys).
The question; "What's the elevation here"?

"How much milk does that one give"

While pointing at a bull

Sorry, I don't get it. What IS your elevation?

Looks like about two feet above sea level.

^^^^^
Really?
I've heard of Rocky Mountain oysters, but never Rocky Mountain Dungeness crabs.

Pretty close, depends where you measure; at your feet or your mouth.

I have gray hair prematurely from my dad’s side. Grandpa was solid gray at age 18. Dad started getting grays at 16. I started getting grays at age 10. Back in high school someone asked my why I put gray highlights in my hair? I just looked at them. As redneck as I was in school they should’ve known highlights weren’t my thing.

It was more of a scenario but here goes:

I used to work as a firearm salesman at Gander Mountain. Loved the work, but surprisingly most of my coworkers were straight up city-boys. They had talked to me about going coyote hunting one night, I said sure.

They roll up, 3 of them. I get the calls, the lights, everything is ready. We sit and start calling, not hoping for much with so many people.Only myself and one other guy had guns, the rest were spectators. The one shooter has a shotgun, I had a rifle, I told him to shoot first, if he misses I'm taking it. Pretty quickly I am spotlighting with the red light, and see the eyes. I nudge the shooter, waiting for the shot. I wait...I wait..I wait...the coyote runs.

I give up, stand up and ask "what the heck was that?!" Could have had a perfect shot, 30 yards away, big yote. He says"that was a dog!" I just glare at him and ask "what?". He says "that was a dog, I'm not shooting a dog!" I ask him what the heck he thought a coyote looks like, in less than polite conversation. Turns out the dude had no idea. Haven't gone hunting with anyone besides my wife since.

I once did a presentation on the reintroduction of elk into PA. I got to the part where I talked about them bringing them on trains from Yellowstone, and this lady raises her hand. I said go ahead. She goes; "How often did they stop the train and let the elk off to go to the bathroom?" Her husband's eyes got really big and he looked at her and goes: "Are you seriously that stupid?"

Should have told her "whenever they raised their hooves and asked to use the rest room Maaaaam"

Some knucklehead brought folding metal chairs to elk camp so were freezing in morning. I laid a bunch of newspaper (for starting fires) down for insulation. His buddy asked me if I was reading the paper. I said YES, stood up turned the page and sat back down.
Just the tip of the weeks doofyness.
Never hunted with them again.

What color is a red fox?

Not Me, but my daughter worked for the Alaska Railroad in the summer tourist season. She has been asked how far apart the mile markers were?

They also took tourists to show the the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. Part of the Information they explained was it had close to a million barrels of oil a day traveling through it. A question was asked how they do it so quietly as there was no noise coming from the pipeline.

I was once asked if I was hungry!

cutting , wood ?

nope I 'm just waiting for the film crew to shoot the Jonsered commercial while I wear a Stihl hard hat and Efco chaps

In all fairness, they arent really red....

people used to ask my grandpa how high you going as he was building a chimney


he always replied. all the way to the top!

I could eat , was always my response to that.

Here's your sign

Had a family member that often came up with some "slap your forehead" type statements. We were talking about the fish population in a certain shallow pond near home that was down in a real low area compared to the surrounding area. I made the comment that I was surprised the pond didn't freeze out every winter.....to which the relative flatly stated "It can't, it's below the frost line".

Was once asked how do baby chicks nurse when the momma hen doesn’t have any nipples. Thought it was a cute question coming from the 11 year old daughter.


B

When the weather is really bad, do the deer stay home?

Stuck my 4WD truck deer hunting. I mean stuck stuck, as in buried to the frame. I had gotten out the ropes and pulleys and had them about ready to start pulling it out when two young "deer hunters" came walking down the old road. Sure as heck they look at the truck, then me and ask, "are ya stuck?" Nope, I said, I am really trying to pull these trees over to get some firewood.

In the mood I was in I was happy my gun was in the truck.

Will you take this woman to be your wife?

While my brother and I were getting our MS degrees, we had to teach a few classes for our sponsoring professors. One of the classes was Dendrology (tree and shrub ID). This was a 4hr class in the woods during the fall semester. Our first plant of the day was poison ivy, and had literally pointed it out with "leaves of 3" saying etc. Walking every student by it, and directly showing them individually by pointing at it with a stick. Not 10 minutes later, this young lady with more bust than brains from a large Northern IL city, came to me with a twig and leaves in both hands asking "is this poison ivy?" I couldn't help myself when I said, "bless your heart, yes it is!" By the end of the 4 hr class, she had a pretty good rash going on. A few weeks later, this same girl ate a green persimmon too. Not overly intelligent, but easy on the eyes.

While set up at a farmers market was approached by a a Junior at a $75,000 per year private university. She pointed at something on my table and asked “what is that?”. I answered it is an eggplant. She thought for a moment and asked “ how many eggs are in it?”

While at work seeing a patient, the patient in the chair asked me: "So what do you do for a living?"

Oops, missed the outdoors part. Guess I'm as bad as that patient ha.

Not outside but, when I was working as a Chef the waitress came into the back and asked me "How do you cook the grilled scampi?"

More of an exchange then a question: We are at the deer cabin and it is lunch time. We decide to call the local grocery store:
Deli please: Hello deli, the lady answers.
Me: I'd like a 24 piece of chicken please.
Deli: We do not serve 24 piece chicken.
Me: Do you sell 12 piece
Deli: yes
Me: can I order two 12 pieces
Deli: yes
Me: but not a 24 piece, could I order a 16 and an 8 piece
Deli: Yes
Me: but not a 24
Deli: yes, getting agitated
SO I ask: How much is a pound of Joe-Joes, "potato wedges deep fried".
Deli: I do not know I would have to weigh them
Me: No I just want to know how much per pound they cost.
Deli: Sir I would have to weigh them!
Me: Hang up call store 15 minutes away get 24 piece chicken and 3 pounds of joes-joes.
(here's your sign)

Will you trap my coyotes for free ? You can have the hides.

Same thing with more of an exchange than question. Me and my buddy got in the truck after a morning deer hunt. I said man I either need to buy a good pair of insulated boots or some heavier thermals socks. He said buy some black socks. I said what good will that do? He said keep your feet warmer. I said only if you’re holding them out in the sun. No he said black socks are warmer than white socks. I replied with I can’t believe you just said something that stupid. I never could get him to understand that black only gets warm from drawing heat from the sun.

I was at deer camp a number of years ago and asked if everybody had a compass. One guy who was never at this camp before said no so I gave him an extra one. I asked him if he knew how to use it and he said yea, you just point it in the direction you want to go.

It takes a lot of extrapolation to that answer.
First in the picture it looks like some tide is out.....
but by how much ?
How high is that dock. above the water?
Is not FSL measure in meters World Wide Now ?

Really was a bone of contention during one of our major floods here as the city used a pumping station as their base and it had not been used for 80 years.
Survey crews were busy shooting FSL's for all the dykes.

Guiding a trip for a couple on the blackfoot river. Lady asks me, "is this river man made?". I contemplated explaining to her how it comes from high in the mountains, eroding valleys, etc....

I just said "no"

I sell quite a bit of poultry and I have been asked numerous times if whatever breed lays eggs. I always say no. This is the only breed that gives live birth to their chicks.

I was at an open house for the local Jack Links beef jerky plant. A guy in line in front of me spotted the mascot "sasquatch" and asked the guide "is that THE real sasquatch or just a guy in a hairy suit?"

When I ordered a pizza one time they asked if I wanted it cut into 6 pieces or 8. I said 6, I don't think I could eat 8 pieces.

BIL went into a subways to order a hot ham and cheese. The little gal asked what she could prepare for him. He told her a hot ham and cheese on white bread. She smiled and went to get the bread, cut it and asked him what type meat he wanted on it. He again said he wanted a hot ham and cheese. her reply was I know sir but what type meat do you want on it? He looked at me and asked, " am I saying something wrong?" I said nope, last I heard hot ham and cheese was ham and cheese warmed up. The gal never did get it. We walked out shaking our heads.

We used to work with a California-based center a lot. One of their guys had gotten some sort of project money to study "biofuels". This was back during the big ethanol ramp up after 2007. I didn't hear this question but my lib colleague did, he was much kinder in his reply than I would have been. The guy in Cali asked, "how do you tell the difference in the biofuel corn versus regular corn?" My reply would have been, "It depends on which way the truck turns from the end of the driveway, if its to the right (towards the closet ethanol processor), its biofuel corn." I don't think that guy works for the agency anymore...

Had a 32-33 yr old man ask me if the sun came up in the east or the west .

Had a girlfriend once ask if unicorns could really fly

So you were her boyfriend she mentioned.

Not surprised you would date a girl that believes unicorns are real. I bet you answered “I don’t know.”

Working at a plantation installing lines for when Cheney used to come down and quail hunt and the managers teenage daughter came out of the “Big House” and asked, “Can I help you?” I replied, “Yes ma’am, just grab that wire in that box and start pulling it to the other house.”
She had a few choice words for me and went and got her Daddy. He came out and asked what I had told his daughter, so I repeated to him what she asked and what I replied. He busted out laughing and told her since she offered to go ahead and pull the wire like I said, lol. She was one of those teenage girls that thought her stinky didn’t stink. Her Daddy set her straight real quick.

.I am always surprised when set up at a trappers convention,with several tables of supplies and lures ,with this question---Do you trap?
More than once I have replied-yes I do,who else but a trapper would be dumb enough to sell trapping supplies?
Tom

Go take another Selfie

As I pulled up to the landing at a local lake, a young couple was waiting for me to come in and the young guy started asking the usual questions, "What are you fishing for?", "Did you catch many?", etc. After our chat they were starting to leave, and the young gal said, "It's so peaceful and beautiful here. Has this lake always been here?"

Not long after I got out of high school I worked at a ship yard in electrical department. Needed to plug in a work light. Had another guy run and get me an extension cord, he brought it back and asked what end I needed! Lol 😂

"Why didn't you vote for Trump?" trailed by the laughter of everyone in earshot.

Jim

I think these are suppose to be real stories...not one you made up.

A girl my family took in one time asked while we were out fishing "can you swim under islands?"
She also asked if you could take a tour on the underground railroad...... she thought it was a tunnel with a little train and mining carts that runaway slaves rode from the deep south upto canada....

Had a newbie ask for a bag of 1/4” holes. I was playing along until I saw the guy who told him to ask, that is when I busted out laughing

Why do you need more than one gun?
Why do you need so many fishing poles?
Don't those traps Cut off their paws?
Aren't Canada geese and beavers protected/endangered?
How could you shoot a cute little (insert animal here)?

How many trees do coyotes eat each winter?
This question was asked of me by the lead biologist for NJ Fish and Game in the 1980's. She had necropsied some snared coyotes and they had bark in their stomachs from chewing brush after they were caught.

does it hurt

A friend of mine stopped one day while I was nailing up some beaver. When I got done with one beaver I had used up all the nails I had laid out.. He asked me how I knew how many nails to use. So I nailed up another one with the same results he was overly impressed. Later on I told him I just keep nailing till all the nails are used up.

While questions may seem dumb to you or me, some aren't just seeing the whole picture or thought it through. Just like the opening post. I noticed the water and terrain right away but didn't focus on the crabs caught, which provides the obvious answer. Without noticing the crabs it could of been some mountain lake at a higher elevation. Some people don't have the life experiences, not tuned into some things, or just can't relate to the subject. Just give people respect, dignity, and try to understand why they may have asked such a question.

Don't get me wrong, I've found it comical or embarrassing with some questions people ask but try to understand the different aspects of a person.

If your job relies on that , you would probably be happy to be out of work

I know a few people who would love it if they were put out of work because their field was no longer needed , of course they are both Rape counselors.

On a guided drift boat fishing the Kasilof River. The fisherman is taking in the beauty around him and asked the guide, "I wonder what the poor people are doing today?"

Guide looks him in the eyes and says "rowing a boat".

"do beavers lay eggs "

Dad, do you have your pocket knife on you?

"What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked?"

Knew a real pretty woman ( natural blonde)
She said look at those strange cows on that hill!
What so strange they’re just Angus?
But look how short their legs are!
Shut up! They are standing in tall grass.

Have you caught a deer yet, rather than have you killed a deer yet? Great aunt used to ask me that question all the time.

Driving down a highway in Texas, "Are those striped cows?" Rancher not only had cattle he had zebras.

"Does the river flow into the ocean, or away from it?"

Fishings dumbest, where did you catch it
IN THE MOUTH

Used to do a lot of buckskinning/living history demo's. The standard questions were:

Is the fire real?
Are the guns real?
Did you really sleep in that tent last night?

One lady was naive/ignorant/dumb enough to stick her hand in the flames to prove to us the fire was fake.......

I had two kids watch me for an hour as I made beef stew. They had never seen someone cut up vegetables before.

If the white cow gives white milk, do the brown ones give chocolate?

I left for work one morning and I left my phone on the kitchen counter and my wife saw it. She headed to work and got the bright idea to text me to remind me that I forgot my phone...

One trout season on opening day, my Dad and I were waiting for the 8AM start. Three other guys come down and ask us "DO you guys want to bet who catches the biggest fish, and who limits out first?" We said, "Suuuuuurrrrre" 20 mins later we were done walking out with 2 limits and the biggest fish,and a few extra dollars .

Another time a lady swore she had a badger that was digging along the foundation of her house and was sure it was going to dig through the wall. She showed me where she heard it scraping along the wall, I told her it would not be digging through her concrete wall, she asked "Are you sure?" (yes ma'am I am sure)

We go outside and take a look at the back yard, and as we do a big ole groundhog runs across the yard and into the hole. She starts yelling, "Did you see it? Did you see it? Me, "What the groundhog that jsut ran across the yard?" Her " No the badger", I saw a groundhog ma'am/ Her "Are you sure?"

Had a 2nd career couple buy a small dairy farm and enrolled in the farm management class. While I was there enrolling them we walked the herd of roughly 35-40 cows. I saw one was riding a standing cow and he stated I have seen that a few times what is that? I thought oh boy there will be a steep learning curve here. About 3 weeks later he called and stated his milking machines hardly work, all of them. I stopped and we checked pulsators, pump vacuum levels etc. All was good. I went into the milk house to check the machines more and lifted one of the covers with the inflations on and they felt really heavy. I found out they pulled the little air hoses off the liners when they washed them and the liners were full of water and thus the inflations would not collapse and draw milk out of the udder!. We got that figured out but soon after the first winter of frozen up manure spreaders, barn cleaner chains, drinking cups they sold and he went back to trucking on the road again.

Bryce

Starting a small diary (unless they had a niche market already to go) as a 2nd career should have warned you right there. Sort of like the mid-70s people I know that have hundreds of thousands of "antique" things still marked at full price in their store and warehouses, and he still buys more! If people deny reality long enough, its no longer real, or so they think. I stopped going to that place, they are nuts!

After getting out of high school I worked for a contractor that cut trees down from under power lines and also trimmed them... I made foreman and had a guy working under me....he had been there several weeks ....then asked me when we would come back and cut the trees down on the other side of the road.

I get similar questions often, like "Does this kind of chicken lay the kind of eggs you can eat?", "Are the eggs brown all the way through?", "Can you eat brown eggs?", "Does this chicken lay edible eggs?", "What do the eggs from this type of chicken taste like?", "Can you cook their eggs or are they just for decoration?"

Keith