Narcissist...do you know one?

Have you ever known one personally, and if so, how did you deal with them? I think I work with one. I'm losing my sense of humor having to deal with the individual, but the problem is, the guy is in management and I work under him.

Everyone has different levels of narcissism.

I have a neighbor that thinks the world revolves around him and his son you cannot get through a conversation without hearing something about “me and my boy” it’s like a tag line almost. Have fun with it it’s fun to see the reactions you get out of it if you don’t it will eat you up quickly if he thinks your out to serve him.

That sounds a lot like the fellow I'm dealing with. He'll talk at length about anything he is interested in and has to dominate the conversation. He has little interest in hearing of anything else unless it has a direct bearing on him. He has many of the markers that make up the disorder.

Been living with one for 58 years.

The early years were controlled with regular beatings.

Then reached the age where beatings were no longer acceptable, self medication began.

Then came the real world of work and responsibility. My job required a 2 man team. I was paired with a former Marine that out ranked me in narcissism for a solid year. Every flaw, whether action or thinking was pointed out instantly and repeatedly.

I left that wonderful place and took to the open load as a lone OTR driver. Here during many long waits for loads and Red Eye drives I revisited my church up bringing and teachings.

I haven’t eaten a bullet yet and think about it even less these days. lol

Yes it's terrible. There's lots of info on how to deal with them. Unfortunately, every narcissist is different and the approach on how you handle them is different.

Just be glad you don't live with that person. Living with a narcissistic person is terrible.

I've learned the hard way and it wrecked me bad.

What is a Narcissist ?

...people who hate bisexual midgets... I think

I’ve known a good many of them. The last one was a female Lieutenant to whom I was assigned by the general as a mentor. She had major narcissistic personality disorder. To her, everyone was inferior in both physical and mental capability. She thought everyone except her was dumb and had stupid ideas. Add to this the fact she constantly wanted to take her own life.

The truth is she WAS likely smarter than most of her coworkers but didn’t know how to confront people with her good ideas on how to do things. We worked it out until she was discharged for her problems.

Typically, a true narcissist wants people to like them. Give less interest in his stories and see how it affects things.

Self centered, arrogant speech and behavior, lack of empathy, makes everything your fault, critical of others etc...

The guy I’m talking about traded some ammo, he had a box of 380 I wanted and I had some .45 ammo he wanted. I had some new bulk 45s but I put them in a remanufactured box just to hear him squeal a bit. See it can be fun!

They think the world revolves around theirs and struggle to see past that, nothing else matters to them people are there to serve them and nobody else.

This. I have a close relative that is a narcissist. People like this are extremely difficult to be around. Don’t ever argue with one, you won’t get anywhere. I try to stay away as much as possible from these kind of people. Narcissists will never admit they are wrong or apologize and as adam says, it is everybody else’s fault no matter how wrong they are. They are also very good manipulators. Narcissism is actually a personality mental disorder and since they will never admit they have a problem, they seldom get counseling or medical help.

There is lots of different scenarios. A lot of it is still just kid stuff, more aggravating than harmful. Then you get some real psychos that want it all or nothing and nothing isn't even in his vocabulary. One needs to try to set a limit of what you will tolerate. The two that I think of first off is if what he is manipulating one to do moral and/or illegal. If he can get something on you he can and will blackmail for all he can get. He may even remember an incident early in your life that's a dicey tidbit.
Can you take it any longer and how long til you retire. Does he constantly use scape goating. As Law Dog said sometimes you can change things up on them. Replace the the gas lights with electric ones. One he doesn't have a floor plan of. I knew of a guy that had a coalmine wired that was not to the plan That worked great for him, it didn't matter which shift had problems they would have to call him in for overtime. That worked ok til one night they had a belt go down and a guy was up on a ladder and got in the wrong wires and all that saved him was falling off the ladder. Things changed after that so someone one else could read the plans.

Sometimes they will put you out on the firing line and tell you that if anything goes wrong they will fix it or cover for you. Which he probably would do, but there are some things even the best manipulator doesn't have control over, it can be that high flying arrow that has no chance of ever hitting the target and then just like that it goes thru the chink in his armor.

Here is link to an Alfred Hitchcock movie, I hope it works. Its 23min long. Bells work for good but can work for correction.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvk2ap

You guys are hitting on a lot of behaviors the fellow I mentioned displays. His lack of empathy for others is frightening. I don't know if his superiors see it or not but it definitely has an impact on the work environment. I'm debating addressing it.

Address it, it can be changed. It won’t likely be changed by his superiors but He needs to be made aware so he can look in THAT mirror.

Be careful in addressing it. A true narcissist will end up attacking you not admitting he/she did anything wrong. I was a school and mental health counselor for many years and dealt with these kind of people. They are very hard to deal with. As Hobbie says, he may look in the mirror and say he’s wrong. However, true narcissists will look in the mirror and say they are right and think people are attacking them. Once a narcissi thinks they are attacked, they seldom let up on a grudge against the person they think that did them wrong. They may talk to your face very nice, but they will always be plotting usually trying to defame the accuser to somebody else.
.

I've noticed "narcissist" is a new trendy word. We always called'em A holes.

I see one in a mirror first thing in the morning. BTW he gets better looking each day.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when your perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirrow
'cause i get better lookin each day

The best description I know of at least what I’ve seen

https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=4&v=q1lClgIfA9U&feature=emb_title

Lots of people that like to be the center of attention over the years.

I've only ever met one who flat out said how he's never wrong, and have seen two on here say its a rarity they're wrong.

X2.
Also a better way to handle this situation is learn how to deal with their gaslighting. Narcissists use gaslighting well. Gaslighting is manipulation to the extreme level.

“Gaslighting”, what are you, 21-22?

Our post modern culture teaches and embraces narcissism. Though there are some that come by it more natural that others.

I've got two brothers, one and a half, actually. The older half brother is a sociopath, the younger one is a narcissist. I'm not sure what label they have for me; but, I'm sure it is just as complementary.

lol

Hahaha.
It's an actual medical term mental health professionals use.

Read the definition and it will describe Obama to a T. Many other politicians fit the description well. Could name a few trappers that we all know the names of. I won't mention names but if you read the definition things will make sense. I think we all have a few of the traits at times but some shine with it 100%.

We have management upon management upon management where I work. Top-heavy. Back during the early stages of COVID, we had a new manager come into our department which the fellow I mentioned competed with for the position. Luckily, he didn't get the job but he decided to try and enlist me in his efforts to undermine the guy at every turn. After becoming very uncomfortable with where he was trying to go, I called him out and asked him what his real problem was. He quickly changed the subject and never brought it up again. I went to that new manager early on and let him know I wasn't part of the rebellion. I did not go into detail, I just let him know I wanted no part of it. He had already sensed it and said he appreciated me letting him know.

I've been working with this guy for three years and it has become very wearisome. Everyone acknowledges he never shuts up and can't tolerate not being the center of attention. I'm going to buck him in earnest and see where it goes. I can only imagine. I'll let you know in a week or so how he responds.

... dang Posco... wish you luck.. but I’m starting to think you may have to jerk that narcissist’s britches down and give a barebutt whipin with a rolled up poster of a cross-dressed midget

How you tell him will be as important as what you tell him. Especially if you have not shared friendly conversation in the past.

I won't rule that out. Thanks for the moral support.

Be very careful with that. One thing a narcissist can NOT stand is being called out and identitied as a narcissist. It is like kryptonite. However , then you release 'narcisstic rage' which means the narcissist will never let up on you for life. They will seek out any way to harm you or discredit you forever.

He'll talk to me for hours on end just so long as it's something he wants to talk about and he'll do it on company time at the expense of getting things done. Countless times I've told him I needed to get back to work...and I work for him. He has a cockiness about him he doesn't mind displaying to upper management. At first I thought the guy was just extremely confident in himself. Then I thought he was just simply arrogant. I've moved beyond the arrogance, I think he is a bona fide narcissist.

That is a miserable existence for the narcissist and will either change them or destroy them.

It has to be done.

That's sound advice. My work ethic and character is fairly well established there and though he can make life hard for me, I'm not sure he can do much to threaten my job. His cavalier attitude toward work leads to quite a few mistakes on his part. Most of the time he can cover his tracks or he just makes light of it. He's a very capable individual but he's jaded and bitter toward our employer. If he ups the ante, I'll see him and raise him one.

My ex wife thank God I didn’t have any kids with her!

Lay it on the line tell him you don’t like his me, me attitude and stop dealing with the guy as much as possible get him out of your world if you want to live in peace. Worked with a guy his whole world was thinking he could fool others about his OCD issues constant lying and manipulating others to do what he did not want to deal with. Tried to support the guy but he never sought the help he needed he just burned bridges and found new suckers to do his dirty work for him.

Two things I have heard that work with a narcissist.

1) RUN and run far away. Never engage with the narc again ever. Even to bash them or point out their failures. A narc even feeds off of that. They desire attention so bad that even bad attention is something they can use. 'Ghosting' a narc with no contact forever hurts them quite a bit.

2) Professional mental help and only if the narc wholeheartedly wants to change ( extremely rare) You cannot change a narc. They think nothing is wrong with them and everything else in the world is messed up.

Facts.

Oh, we call'm Dick heads

So basically a Democrat?

I’ve found when you confront them and I mean call them out and be ready to back your claim they shut up. We have one in our work group and I had had enough and just called him out one day. He got all kind of distorted and was ready to fight so I told him I’m ready whenever he is and started advancing. In the 10+ years he’s been around he went quiet and didn’t have a clue what to do. I’m mean literally speechless. Not sure if he’s a narcissist or was just a bully, but he doesn’t speak to me anymore or to anyone when I’m around. I was told I was the first to actually stand up to him and call him out. I wasn’t being a peckerhead, just had enough of his whining and complaining and how the world would be so much better with more of him and less of us.

You hit the nail on the head.

Come to think of it, I don't remember you ever admitting you're wrong.

Jim

It can be very difficult even for trained professionals to tell the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath (sociopath).

Approximately one in twenty-five people meet the criteria for psychopathy, according to the experts.

Jim

You'd be wrong maggot.

In my non-psychiatrist opinion, the word narcissist is way overused. But there are a few candidates for some general psychotherapy on T Man. Diagnoses TBD.

AKA: Shotgun Joe Biden! And Trump is no slouch either!

That's why some people dislike Trump so much Bob, they're exactly like him.

Jimmy, the village called, they're looking for you.

Join our cult Hippie. You'll have to stop lying but otherwise you'll like it.

You've seemed lost since your old cult choked. Join us.

Sometimes I admire the way someone's forum handle is so illustrative of their personality.

"Sprung" and "rusty" fits you to a tee.

Jim

Hi Jim!

So that's gonna be the game, you and Jimmy calling me a liar?

If you two didn't want Trump gone, the last 5 years someone hacked your acct!!!!

I covered this the other day. You are a liar about me when you say I wanted Clinton and/or Biden to beat Trump. I think they all suck but I grudgingly wanted Trump to win because his policies affected me less. It was a low bar.

Psychiatrists would say, you suffer from pseudologia fantastica.

Are you going to join my cult or not? We can cure you of your pathological lying too.

So who here has married one?

I thought I was wrong once-but I was wrong.

Getting to be a real dog and pony show lately.

When I say you got what you wanted, it means Trump gone which you undoubtedly lobbied for his whole term. Maybe you wanted him more than Biden, but that doesn't change the way you posted for years prior.

Probably the reason people always agree when I say that.

Yep, sure has.

Spin it however you want to justify your lies. Again, I wanted Trump to beat Clinton and Biden. I still think we could have done much, much better and apparently I was right.

And, geez, grow a spine and stop seeking likes on T Man. See bolded sentence. We've diagnosed another mental condition: insecurity.

Folks who know you, appreciate you and how you take good care of your peeps around you. What a responsible individual and hard worker you are. I have seen times you have allowed and appreciated new or updated info and thanked ones for offering it, as well as doing the same in return.

LOL, the day I worry what morons like you and James falsely accuse me of, ill seek professional help.

Deal with it, you wanted it.

How many narcissists are on this thread?

I plea the 5th

I suspect you're be facetious. All of us have a touch of it, it's inherent in human nature but being diagnosed with the disorder seems to be quite rare from what reading I've been doing on the subject. Most people here seem to be perfectly capable of displaying empathy for others. I wouldn't point my finger at anyone here.

I've known one or two.

Yes absolutely.

Ha!

I remember some if your threads also about your MIL

Is anyone still turkey hunting?

Pike, the MIL is certainly something. Narcissist might be too nice

Savell you ain’t right dude, that was hilarious

I suspect too much copperhead venom has warped his perspective

Don't know about that but there sure are a lot of political pundits here. I read this thread earlier in the day and came back to post about narcissism only to find this thread, like most, has long gone down a political rabbit hole.

As for the narcissism, my sister-in-law is a text-book specimen. Between the manipulation, self-centeredness, and passive aggression, it's next to impossible for us to have any semblance of a relationship with her and her family. She upsets my wife almost daily with her antics, and we haven't found a good way yet to deal with it, and this has been going on for more than 17 years. The worst part about it is that her husband is blind to it and enables her. He's a nice guy himself, but can't see how destructive she is.

Lol, ain't that the truth.

Sharon, you should be commended for sticking up for a friend you thought was being attacked and picked on.

It must take nerve to do that, though not as much as if you were defending someone espousing an unpopular opinion, like I sometimes have been known to do.

Still, you took a big step. We who do advance unpopular opinions know how hard it must have been.

Next thing you might work on is defending people who make unpopular posts. Yeah, that might be tough, but there is one big thing that requires it:

Fairness. No one should be bullied or attacked by more than one at a time.

Not even James.

Jim

People have been narcissistic since they strolled to a tree and plucked the forbidden fruit.
We might argue, since that time, there have been better ones than others, but all are affected.

Psychologists tell us that narcissism is a defense mechanism to cope with shame and guilt. You get too close to their low self view of themselves and they back you off to prop themselves up.
Simple "guard the fort" coping mechanism.

So....
try not to get too close to their moat.

Use rocket launchers

James, it just shows the immaturity and lacking cerebral capacity of the bully.
I appreciate your role in smoking out their true identity.

Hard work is to be commended. So anyone moving refrigerators and televisions should be praised. Would that still hold true if its at midnight and the house owner is not home ?

narcissism is a medical diagnosis. I ain't not no doctor.

But:

I know a guy on the radio that I believe has all the symptoms. On the surface a nice friendly guy. Talented, great voice, somewhat knowledgeable. Listen to him. Begging for attention, bragging up, down and sideways. Shutting down any caller that ain't kissing his you know what. You'll know what if you listen to him. He'll come right out and tell to to pick a cheek. He belittles his news lady every chance he gets. He says he is not belittling her, because he has done it for 14 years. What? entrenched behavior is an excuse?

Listen to Joe Pags, I can't diagnose, but, I can sure suspect.

One last point on the subject. People with these social "disorders" ain't all universally hated outcasts. Some are actually very charming and useful. Think of some of the John Wayne/Charles Bronson characters, or James Bond.

The fellow I mentioned is quite outgoing and friendly. It seems like he is almost never down. That's until you cross him in the slightest way. Very manipulative individual.

EXACTLY

I'm taking a different approach with the guy and he's noticing. I'll let you know how he responds as time moves forward.

Good luck with that. It is always difficult when that person is someone that you can't just walk away from, forever. Because I'm a lazy, self sufficient, solitary kind of guy, It's real easy for me to say "see ya" and consider the problem solved.

When you have to work and/or live with them it's a whole different ball game. You have to learn how to keep the Genie in the bottle and CYA when it's out.

I would say Andrew Cuomo is a true narcissist.

They are not mutually exclusive. Many traits overlap and you can be both to varied degrees.

Once heard that something like 80% of all people would have some type of diagnosis if tested.

That's true. Narcissism is one of the traits of psychopaths.

You can have more than one mental disorder at the same time.

Jim