For those with sons/grandsons

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like




1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.



2! .) If y ou spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.



3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.



4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.



5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling f an is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.



6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.



7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.



8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.



9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.



10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.



11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.



12.) Super glue is forever.



13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.


!
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.



15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.



16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.



17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.



18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.



19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.



20.) The fire department in Austin , TX h as a 5-minute response time.



21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.



22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.



23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.



24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.



25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

Lmao. Thanks

My wife is learning with my youngest she must be very specific. When he was 7 he came into the house asking for her to get him a shotgun to shoot a Turkey that was I'm out field behind the house. She just said no because I was at work and she dose not know how to clean a turkey.
So he asked my 18 year old daughter. She said no do he got out his 15 lb long bow and stalked within 15 yards of it then shot it in the head. Has to be the only 7year old in the world who got in trouble for spot and stalking a nice tom turkey and killing it all by himself. Dad was quite proud.

Another time she told him he could not take his pellet gun up to our friends to shoot the pigeons in their barn that were craping on the hay. Female friend wanted them gone husband is animal loving softie. So my boy took one of his slingshot and killed 2. One had 3 bands and was a racing homer from Oklahoma city just under 800 miles away.

I'm still not sure her female brain realizes she must specifically tell him he can't kill said critter not just no to his first choice of tool for the job.

Ps I was thinking about the bleach and break fluid.lol

80% sounds low to me.

That's good stuff. I recall my boy testing his trajectory on the bathroom wall. It was obvious he was going for height and distance. I had to smile, I couldn't be mad at him.

just do it outside away from the house a good ways

every kid should have a place in the yard they can dig and a shovel , hours of childhood fun

my Gerber multi tool still has the burn marks from when my 3 year old now 18 cut the power cord on the VCR

How come it's funny now but mom saw no humor in it then.....those kind of things are what we remember later not the A we got on a math paper

When my son was not quite 4 I gave him a 3 foot piece of 2x4 and a half pound of 16d nails. He already had a little 4 inch wood tap hammer from a toy set his mother gave him. I started half a dozen of the 16s and turned him loose. Man he loved tapping away on those 16s. One night about a month later he is out in the kitchen doing his "construction work" and my wife and I hear him squawk. We jump up and find him in the middle of the floor all P-Oed. Yup he nailed the 2x4 to the floor. We never thought he would ever get that nail thru with that little wood hammer. Worked out well in the end. He's 37 and has a great job as an estimator for a local plumbing outfit. He handles million dollar jobs on a very regular basis.

I remember the results of exactly one English test my 7th & 8th grade English teacher was disappointed in my performance in English I don't recall which year it was , she told me if I could get and A on that test very close tot he last day of school she would give me an A in the class , challenge accepted it was one of those tests where you pass it back a person and grade each others. when nothing was found wrong , she took it and found 1 wrong a 98 an A, realizing the pickle she has created she said i can't give you an A for the class but I can do a B
worked for me it was a lot better than what I had. a B worked for me. I bet she never offered that deal again.

Thanks that was great.

So whats the ratio of brake fluid to clorox??? asking for a friend...

pool shock granules and be up wind , with nothing else flammable around

granules on the bare ground , you will know when to stop pouring brake fluid , go slow

OMG. That was great. My poor mother had 4 of us boys. No daughters. I have one son. Those who have all daughters. Will never no the joy of boys growing up.

I personally can relate to the kid digging in the wall outlet. Not once. But twice. I was a slow learner

Planted a seed that took and grew! Better than some getting that age and "Hold my beer and watch this"

Seen most of that! Good Stuff

Just remember, the bleach and brake fluid trick makes the same thing the Germans killed lots of people with in WW1. That stuff can wreck your lungs. And the neighbor kids down wind too.

Use your head if you are going to play with peril.

Chemistry, electricity, ballistics... I studied it all when I was a boy.

I made quite a few discoveries over the years. Some were neat, some not so pleasant...

If you plug an electric guitar into an amp and turn it on, the pickups will pick up the signal from a TV remote.

If you cut the jack off the end of a low voltage transformer and run the two wires over a central heat register in the floor, it produces small sparks... And if you attach the jack from a pair of headphones to the register and run the transformer wires over the register it makes wonky sounds in the headphones.

You can't pile enough dead grass and hay over a burning two-liter pop bottle full of gas to smother the flames. (That one got me a beatin')

Leaving baby birds on the porch steps for your older female cousin to step on... Will get you a beatin'.

If you use paper towels for wadding, a potato cannon will launch a handful of marbles so far into the air that it's a solid 10 to 15 seconds before you hear them hitting the roof of the house across the street. Mom finally made dad cut the potato cannon up.

This is no joke: When my mom and dad got married, my dad told my mom he wanted a whole football team of boys. After I got old enough to walk, talk, and be a little person, he told her they could try once for a daughter.

Really surprised I survived my own foolish stunts. And my parents should be up for sainthood.

Mike

That's funny stuff my wife is still laughing. We had no kids !

Our preachers wife bought their son a play handsaw for Christmas. He sawed the 2 legs off the same side of his sisters bed, but only a few inches.

It doesn't take near as much gas to get a half acre pond covered in 5 foot flames for about 5 minutes as an 11 year would think. Didn't think I'd see 12 there for awhile if grandpa would have found out.