Woman and menopause??

Anyone have any advice for a guy whose wife is going thru menopause??? This is much more difficult than I expected! How long does this last??

Following, because I’ll need this advice in 25 years.

I remember my mom going through it. It was tough on us kids and dad. No advice at all, sorry. Just grit your teeth.

Pick up another hobby to get out of the house more

Rutro! . . . stand by for stormy weather!

talk to her let her know u know its temporary... hot flashes must not be fun....... but mental pause is nothing to take lightly..

If you have another place to live--go there and stay till it's all over with.
If you decide to stay and ride out the storm-good luck.It's no fun for her-but even worse for the punching bag--you.
You will be so,so happy when it's done and over with.
Tom

Out the chute and let ‘em buck!

Go fishing every day

Just find another squeeze

Prayers sent...pretty strong statement from someone who does not pray.

Sometimes a very tough time for a woman. Make sure she knows she is appreciated, loved, and desired. Might be tough sometimes but you and she will live through it.

Moosetrot

No idea but best of luck.
I've heard it can be a tough time.

Roughly, at what age can one expect the metal paws to come out?

Every woman is different and the length of time is also different in every woman.
My wife was in her eaely 50's when she went through it and 20 plus years later--I still remember.
Tom

I Googled it and you don't want to know.

Prayers

It can make her miserable and ruin your life.
I have never heard of one instance where it ever got better.

Why do husbands die before their wives?
Because they want to.

My ex entered at 18 in 1981 and still hasn't recovered.

Keep the window open.

How do you tell the difference?

Watch the episode of "All in the family" where Edith goes thru it You'll find some things to laugh at!

Just like the Single again thread, Go Fishing!! This is how you pay for all the fun you had in your 20's and 30's....

My ex went more nutty than usual.....note EX!

forever

Probably took the Mrs. about a year and a half.
Good luck!
I was waiting for her head to spin in circles and spit out pea soup

Might as well call it Men-on-pause

Must not be too bad, I don't remember that it was a problem, in fact, I don't remember it period.

My bride started about age 47 or 48. The hot flashes were the worst for her. She did not have the " episodes of crazy" like her mother did .
I was worried because she is very similar to her mother, although I can usually avoid fights if I DON'T mention that, however all I need to do is call her by her mother's name and it's on. I felt really bad for my Father in law, back then.
My wife still has the occasional hot flash, 6 years later , but other than that , she has not had many other issues
.As for her mother, she has been using menopause as an excuse , for her behavior ,for 20 plus years. Not sure I buy it, come to find out ,she is just turning into a grumpy old lady.

You could have an optimistic outlook to this. Living with a woman going through mental pause is like living with Cybil and all those different personalities. Now you'll be sleeping with a different woman every night.

When she gets grumpier let her know you asked on Trapperman for advice and then see how she reacts and get back to us. It should be entertaining for us.

Mine says she's been having issues for awhile now like 5 years, but I'm waiting for it to end. She's hot then she's cold etc. It seems like any other time.

Womper, calling her by her moms name. Lol lol lol… When my wife gets nasty I call her “Harriet” after Harriet Oleson on The Little House on the Prairie series. It always turns out well! Or if I’m just wanting to aggravate her I’ll walk through the kitchen when she’s cooking and say “that’s not how my mother cooked that” Lol

After reading all the comments I’m thinking we should all get together and write a book for the younger guys. Good solid advice is hard to come by these days.

My wife and I were in CO. Seen some deer. One was a pretty good buck. She started saying elk elk. I told her they are not elk. She began swearing at me and pointing at the deer. "Right there right there . She never talks to me like that. I started laughing. Couldn't help it. Said those are deer. So she started crying.

Hang in there. Its not all crazy woman days.

Be prepared for:

It's too hot.
It's too cold.
You don't love me.
Quit smothering me.
Crying..... Lots and lots of crying.
I'm fat. Don't mention the cream cheese coated bagel she's eating when she says she's fat.
You'll always be wrong. Anything you say can upset her. I've called her mommy girl since we had our son. She used to think it was cute. Not so much anymore.
There is nothing you can do to make it any better. Just give her love when she wants it, and stay away when she doesn't.

My wife started with perimenopause at age 35.
Then had surgery at age 45.
She's now 53 and still going strong with the hot/cold flashes.
She is 1 that will have all the windows open and the AC going in -20 weather and be hot. Then have all the windows shut and wanting the heater on in +90 weather.

The end date is pretty much up in the air. One day she'll wake up and be semi-normal again.

My mom's wasn't real noticeable.
My MIL's was really bad.
My wife's isn't to bad, other than the hot/cold flashes, and the occasional "you don't love me."
A friend of mine wife went off the deep end, and ended up causing their divorce. Six years later she wanted to reconcile. Her brother told him to stay away, she was still nuts.

Buy a boat and go fishing.

Install a new thermostat because yours will get worn out They burn up and freeze in the same hour Sleep in separate bedrooms until it’s over BOTH of you will be happier !

Turn in your man card You won’t need it for 2-3 years PLUS the fact you ask this bunch about this means you don’t deserve it

This is pretty close to what We are going thru. She gets depressed and offended real easy, loses her train of thought but yet she knows everything and wants to control everything! Doesn’t want me close, doesn’t want me to have a opinion, doesn’t want intimacy. When I was young people talked about older woman being good lovers…. PFT!

Those are the divorced ones that have "recovered" after gaining their sanity back.

God Bless ya
It’s a rough time for everyone. Lengths and severity differ from person to person. My wife started when she was 47-48 year old and lasted 7 full years. It was brutal. I actually had to recommit to the marriage. Get used to severe mood swings, slamming doors, crying and the constant urge for them to fight. She’s 60 now and still has hot flashes. I haven’t touched the thermostat in almost 20 years.
Best of luck to ya

Wow

Let her get some chickens. They're very therapeutic.

It’s funny you mention that. Every crazy woman I know has chickens. Is it like having a therapy dog?

We aren't crazy because we like chickens...we just know..They beat the heck out of condescending men.

You follow some of the advice on this thread from these yahoo's and you'll end up diivorced.

LOL,
I tell all the young guys, don't get married

They never listen...

Then say after the fact, you were right!

Sheesh I’m blessed. The Mohican never gave a sign. Went for a romp one evening and I brought it up, she said pfft that’s long over.
Good luck with it, my regards to all women who have to deal with it as well, cant be easy for them.

Osky

Wow. There sure seem to be some people in bad situations here. I can't stomp on all of your collective expertise because I know nothing about this, except to say that some people go through it without any issues at all. I never had any. None.

For people with bad symptoms, it seems like there are so many products advertised these days to address them. Maybe some of those would be helpful?

Anyway, good luck to you and yours, 2zwudz, and to all of you.

(By the way, chickens are good for everyone! )

Offering treatment suggestions to a woman having a moment might not be the best time to introduce the idea!

Yes she is trying different things without much success! I feel bad for her. I know she doesn’t like it either! I just wasn’t expecting it would change her so much.
Don’t get me wrong I like chickens/eggs but too many and the smell is not good especially in a neighborhood!

Same here , as Patrice . I had a couple of things , feeling heat at times and being tired, but that was it, for a short time . None of the moodiness at all. I was my calm self all throughout and couldn't relate to others who were overtly emotional. Having had my natural supplements for decades, I'm sure helped, and maybe it is also how a person's makeup and personality is to begin with. Maybe.

As Patrice mentions, looking into the right products surely help, and everyone must find what works for them.

As for the above statements that after menopause kills sensuality and passion , I'm here to say , it is entirely possible to have never felt better, more energetic, full of loving life to the full. Having the right person, who is supportive and loving anyway , surely drives that never ending passion and desire . Even better, if true chemical compatibility is present, you never get enough of someone dearly loved. I think, a good teammate to begin with, good communication, with the plus of rare chemical compatibility found, (which cannot be forced, it has to be there naturally for both to experience ), success can be attained , as in many other health events . When both are proud of each other and speak well of each other to family, friends and others , that trust is encouraging, and makes a world of difference in reactions to the body changing.

Never learned any of this from a trapping book! Lol

To piggy-back off of what Sharon said.

One of the side effects of anti-depressants that some women take to help with the symptoms of menopause/post-partum depression are real "mood" killers. My wife had bad PPD and went on an anti-anxiety medicine. It really destroyed her libido. Once she got off them it came roaring back. Now that doesn't mean that all women need medicine to help them cope with the effects, but some do.

2zwudz, I have never had any smell from my chicken coop. We have kept only 6-8 hens for eggs and entertainment, and have always used the deep litter method on pine shavings. I give it a stir every now and then and change out part of the shavings a few times a year. That and great ventilation all year. You can stand in their coop and breathe in the fresh air. If a coop stinks, it is usually from a buildup of waste that causes an ammonia level that is damaging to their lungs. Shouldn't be that way!

If you would decide to get some chickens, there's no shortage of advice to be found here!

Sorry for what you're both going through. It sounds like you really care. Maybe doing little things and sweet surprises and letting her know how much you care will help her while she searches for remedies. Good luck!

I call my wife Old Grannie.
That seems to help it.

My mom tried several different drug/hormone combos, some didn't do anything, some made it worse. Her 3rd doc finally got her on something that helped a bit. I remember the tiniest things would set her off and she would cry or get mad. Dad took me squirrel hunting a lot.

Thanks for the encouraging words.
As for the neighbors chickens and the smell…. I don’t think the neighbors are doing anything about the smell. It’s real bad when it rains. I think one one the problems is they are on bare dirt/soil and they have about 70-80 birds in a 24x 30 pen. It’s not only chickens but they have ducks, geese, turkeys and some other kind of bird.

I know. I wish the original poster would send his question in to Randall Davis at the question and answer box in the F-F-G magazine!

Just like saying “calm down” to a woman that’s excited. You’ll find it more than likely has the opposite effect than what your hoping for.

Another one you might want to add to the list…

‘You’re a (fill in the blank) just like your mother.’

I can tell you from experience you don’t want to introduce that into an argument! It will go from zero to 100, like right now!

Make sure to tell her to calm down after you tell her she’s being like her mother.

She will forget all about menopause.

Once you get a good idea of week 3 in the gal’s 4 week cycle, simply project week 3 for about 15 years.

They like this too…it shows you’re paying attention.

For bonus points, mark it out on a calendar and point out any deviation from the norm.

I am a survivor of menopause. Patience. Understanding and quick on your feet. Zipped lips as well. And talk a lot to your spouse. I pitty the man that goes thru this. But I understand it is no fun for the lady either. Good Luck I hope you survive

I have a small off grid cabin 13 miles from home, rough two track sand road the last 3 miles. Right on a nice river.....I spend a lot of time there. Used to not mind a little fight for a reason to go to the cabin. Now I go to not have a big fight. You can do everything right and still be wrong. Even a broke clock is right twice a day, men aren't right ever...

We were lucky, scarcely a ripple on the pond of domestic tranquility. Life has been pretty sweet the last few years.

Early on I had a sit down conversation with mine but not during one of her moods... came to realize on both our parts that she didn't have a clue her attitude was changing. She spent hours searching for information on various protocols. She found a OTC product that helps to a fair extent and doesn't affect her other medical condition.. She is more aware of her mood swings now since we talked. She still has her bad days ... needing assurance and love, or distance. From her perspective, she just wants it to be over ... going on two years now. I wouldn't trade her for anything on this earth.

Good on you… I don’t buy into that story line that they don’t know what’s going on…pure BS if you ask me. They know everything else about themselves. If they can’t see for themselves that things are different, I don’t know how to help. It’s my experience that they don’t want you to point it out!

I have always said that med school students should be taught that when a couple comes in for the birth of their first child, after the baby is placed on the mothers chest. The doctor should turn to the father and say..... "I would like to introduce you to your new wife"!
Now fast forward a bunch of years. After approximately 15 years of menopause, the girl you fell in love with should be back.

My woman has been at it for 17 years .And you cant win

Probably good advice…I just hope you’re off on the 15 year timeline…don’t know if I can hold out that long.

Lots of wisdom on this thread. All young men should take notes. Lol

If you ever wondered why men don't talk when their wives are around you will be enlightened

My lovely bride of nearly 36 years is a redhead with all of the short temper that comes with it. Well prior to the Dark Age Period (as I call it to myself only), she was diagnosed with depression and was medicated for it, which was very helpful, a miracle actually. You knew when she missed a dose I can tell you.
Fast forward to the Dark Age. I found out how much I missed the good old days of when she was off her depression meds. There is no cure for the Dark Age. It has to run its course.
I found out that everything was my fault, I am a bad father and a worse husband, and the dogs and cats resent me. The only thing she didn't do was make her head spin 360 degrees, levitate above the bed, and hurl green vomit. (I do believe that she did actually address a priest in a rude and profane manner.)
And don't assume that once it passes (if it ever does) that you won't still be blamed for it happening in the first place.
The Dark Age is not for the weak.

Look at the average age of the guys in all the Bushcraft videos! Out in the woods, wandering eating tree bark and pinecones, living under tarps while cooking on hot rocks.....Figure it out yet?

Casualties of the menopause?

Up to the top for those in need of encouragement…

Nope it's men on pause

But come on guys, women are just the same as men, and now with wokism, men can be women and women men. Right, they said so on tv...

Women are not right in the head to start with.

Buy a boat and go fishing.....without her of course.

Hope you didn’t marry a buttercup. lol

Apparently keeping her busy helps. My wife said, “I don’t have time for this”, when she realized what was happening.

My wife has been on the other side of it for several years now. Be patient. Its worth the the wait.

My wife went into the hospital to have a cyst removed and during the middle of the operation the Doc came out and mentioned cancer and said they needed my authorization to do a full hysterectomy. I consented.
She was young as was I, I honestly didn’t understand what was going to follow the next 6 months.
She went absolutely bat crap crazy and left me.
BUT I had the Doc on speed dial because he briefed my on “possible” scenarios, lol. Even one of the boys who was 6-7 at the time said he wasn’t going with her cause she was crazy.
After a week or two of the Doc changing her doses of meds they finally got it “manageable” and she called crying and wanted to come home. She asked if I had changed the locks? I told her No. She asked if I had got rid of her clothes and belongings? Again I told her No. She apologized and came home.
Not saying it was easy because there were times through the years even the boys would tell her it’s time for her to “change her patch” when she became unbearable!
Now that she’s older I don’t think she wears the patch anymore and everything is great. She still jokingly blames me for the Doc taking her “oven” but thanks me for not giving up on her. To be honest, I think we are more in love now than when we started our journey together.

Advice…you’re wrong and she’s right. If she says you did it you did it…apologize. Even what she dreams you did, you apologize for it and tell her it won’t happen again. Ask her to do everything with you…she won’t and you know she won’t, but you asked and that in itself is a brownie point! You’ll find if you have kids, that you’re at fault for whatever they did also. Have patience and no it will all pass and the devil will finally leave her, lol!!

Update: her doctor bumped up her hormone medicine and she is like a different person now! 8 years worth of torment seems to be subsiding! I dont know if its truely the new medicine or if she is on the backside of the cycle!
Im still hesitant but hopeful!!!

I just learned that the P in PMS stands for Permanent.

Lol Gary that was needed this morning.

My lovely wife informed me that she is trying this new supplement instead of her patch this week, anyone want to go fishing for a week? Lol

Depends on how stuff the woman is.

Strap the twins up high and tight, you won't be needing them anyway!

Just tell the Wife that you are getting a GIRLFRIEND, until the Change of Life is over with!!

2zwuds , please check your private messages.

That is a great story Wanna Be. Good advice too! Poor thng, I'm glad she came home and all is well.

My wife is 65 years old and still has hot flashes. It's a good thing we live in the sticks. Before she retired while getting ready for work in the morning she would usually a couple of times a week have to run outside naked and cool off. When she went through the actual change it wasn't too bad, but I wasn't around her much except at night.

My wife had a hysterectomy at 45. She never really had any menopause symptoms after that to speak of...pretty much unchanged in every way except that her straight hair turned wavy.