Rattlesnake crawled up my britches...

and then buzzed like the dickens. At least that was my first thought as I almost drove off the road....second thought.... which turned out to be the correct one; it was actually my "smart" phone on silent mode.

It was a message from Apple News Spotlight: "What produces anxiety in you and how to combat that".

I can't repeat what I screamed out loud.... and get it past the Trapperman filters!~

wow-sir

Yet another reason I do not have a phone.

Sounds like fun tho. Lol

Hahaha Get's me every time.

LOL

Lol....gotta laugh , funny now but was not at the time.

About 20ish years ago , I was riding my motorcycle down this road. Doing about the speed limit in the area which was about 25mph , just cruising , enjoying the ride , in no hurry.

I was leaned over the handlebars a slight bit and due to the warm weather that day , had my leather jacket open a bunch at the top to let in air for cooling.

I felt a good thud and hit in my upper chest at 25mph. As most bikers know , this is an impact with an insect at speed. It dropped right into my jacket , then fell straight down into my pants. I immediately felt a buzzing of an insect in my groin

I pull over as fast as I can , and luckily there was a park type area right there so I was able to pull over quickly.

As soon as I was able to pull over and shut off the bike , I unzip my fly.

This huge bumblebee comes flying out. I literally turn 4 more levels of pale skin as I cannot believe this happened and I did not get stung. I had to sit there for a bit as I recollected my breath and other things as I was just amazed that I pulled through this with no injury. Can you imagine getting stung in the groin area while riding a motorcycle.
Zipped up my leather jacket and left there after a bit. I don't ride with my jacket open anymore. Learned my lesson. Would rather be a bit hot with a zipped up jacket than go through that again.

I tried to jump clean out of my pants one time. I had walked up on a copperhead and stopped abruptly. It was dead. I walked a little further looking at my path very sternly, when I felt a rattlesnake in my pants way to close to my groinal area.
When I landed back on the planet Earth, I soon discovered that the pager in my pocket had gone off on vibrate. You youngins will need to get out the encyclopedia to learn what a pager is. You'll probably need your smart phone to figure out what an encyclopedia is.

I bet ya about crapped your britches.

Funny stuff

In Zimbabwe, after the days hunt, I Walked over to the campfire area where we would sit and enjoy a cold drink while waiting for supper to be served. There were some solar ground lights behind the chairs and the campfire in front. Off to one side was a rock pile where bush babies lived and would come out to eat popcorn. I thought I saw something move on the ground right in front of me - but after a quick look - I thought it was shadows on the ground cast by the chair’s legs. A few seconds later, thought I saw something move again. Looked down and a six ft long black mamba crawled down one side of my boot, around the toe end of my boot, and headed towards the rock pile. The guide took off for the shotgun, but by the time he got back, the snakes was gone. Only snake we saw in ten days of hunting. On another 14 day hunt, my son climbed up on a termite mound to get a better vantage point, and when he jumped down, a ten ft long Mozambican Cobra crawled out of a hole at the bottom of the termite mound. The only snake they saw on that trip. Evidently not a lot of snakes in Africa - but the ones that are there are extremely dangerous.