Some freak stalking your daughter

What would you do?

Be smart be creative!

I'm a thousand miles away. I just found out about it.

My daughters know exactly what I would do. That's all that matters.

True story, small town in Iowa judge drug out of a bar on Saturday to handle an arraignment for an Alabama boy who just shattered the face of a pedo. Upon entering the courtroom he recognizes the gathered crowd and knows the back story.

To cut it short, fifty bucks if you can be out of town by sundown.

The police are involved but I don't have a lot of details. I was reluctant to bring it up but we share a lot here.

First get her some pepper spray the hottest you can find and show her how to use it! Shin kicks with composite toes and groin kicks and punches really slow a guy down.

Depends on how serious .

If I was worried I'd close the gap quickly and pay it a visit

She bought some. She's a mom with four small children living in a rather rural part of NC just outside of Charlotte. Her husband has a shotgun but he's not an outdoorsman so I don't know how he'd handle himself.

It's serious. It's been going on for a while but she just told me. She didn't want me worrying. They managed to get a plate number and the police know the guy. He was arrested for crimes against nature. That could be any number of lewd things. I assume the local PD shared that with her.

I would make dang sure she is both able and capable of defending herself. Buy her a lady Wesson or similar, practice with .38 special, but tell her to keep it loaded locked and ready with .357 mag.

All kinds of weirdos out there, and often nice young ladies are nice to them and can make them feel that there is something there that isn’t. When rejected, no telling what these crazies will do.

I hope the best for you and your daughter Posco. I’m not there yet age wise with mine, but I do dread it’s coming.

I'd have a conversation with the husband and give him some clear guidelines or have him talk with a attorney because people panic if they don't have clear directions of what they can do so they do nothing for fear of getting in trouble. Know the laws and limits its your best route with the distance involved.

Sorry,
Just read the other posts. I was thinking she was away in college.

what freak?

Thank you, Chancey. We talked abouts guns but with four little ones running around..
They had their security company install more cameras today. This is happening near their home in a small subdivision.

Don't she want you to come visit for few days? Does she have a restraining order on him? Documented encounters with law enforcement? All that will help if - and deadly force in needed.

Don't think I'm not considering it.

She does. They're out of town right now, we're going to talk tomorrow.

Be nice to see the grandkids anyway.

2 bags caustic acid 1 bag lime and a good alibi.

For sure. I'll know more tomorrow.

Reach out to the new wheels to the rescue. I’m sure there are some good ole boys on here that can deliver a message

I'm not worried about an alibi, I want a happy ending. At least for her and her family.

Thanks for the support, guys. I'm looking for a happy ending. I'll do what I have to to achieve that if it's in my power.

Crab pot. Short story.

I've got to find the guy first.

Set it and forget it. Ronco style.

will be praying for you and your family, that this ends soon.

Seriously I would first give him a warning. Then if he kept it up just find an abandoned Mine shaft drop him in it and let the rats eat. That is what happened in Clendenin when that Illegal Raped and beat that little girl. When they found him a year later he was just bones and they could not prove who did what.

dont worry about him, like child birth, he will figure it out if he has to.

Your a hunter, stalk him. Just remember season is open yet....

Law Dog Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 31,055
Central, SD
First get her some pepper spray the hottest you can find and show her how to use it! Shin kicks with composite toes and groin kicks and punches really slow a guy down. Mr. Law Dog I disagree with you, in the military we were told to go directly to the eyes. First thing if you life is at risk........jk

Look, the best defense is to make sure you daughter has a good grasp on the importance of situational awareness! Dad can't be there all the time. I worked with my wife from day one to become more situationally aware, and it is disturbing to think what can/could happen. Every father has a duty to protect their wife & children, and sometimes educating them the best way to protect them.

From a LEO point of view, make sure she files a complaint! Honestly, building a paper trail on an alleged perpetrator is required before anything can really be done. The more times she files a complaint, the easier it is to get an OP. Violate the OP and he can get picked up. A paper complaint is good, pictures are better, video of the alleged perpetrator (especially if they have the female complainant stating some form of "stop") are best. Yes, it can be a hassle to file a complaint, but if you/she really wants it to stop, it must be done. And make sure she files a complaint EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS! Don't let her say, "I was busy, it's too much work, It doesn't matter, etc" BS excuses have got a lot of women killed! I've personally witnessed it.

Keep in mind backwoods justice is one thing in the backwoods on your own turf. To travel somewhere could be seen as premediated with intent.

Your legs are way stronger then your arms and arms are easier to block in many cases untrained folks tend to not want to really hurt a person pepper spray does go for the eyes and the shin kicks and groin strikes allow that person to gain distance. I’ll stick with what I said but thanks.


The biggest hurdle is to know when to take action and doing it with purpose to get the end result, most folks are going against everything they have ever been taught their whole life.

Bear spray is 5-10 times more potent than mace! Just saying if cc not practical.

It happened to my Daughter-Posco
I moved her in, the night She told me

But.....it was easier she was "married " and he was to be her x

My son-in-law is the real estate developer putting up the homes in their subdivision. Two homes are occupied, two under construction and two lots are not yet sold. It has me wondering if the guy isn't somehow associated with one of the construction crews doing the work in there, I don't know how else he would stumble across her. That sure is a possibility.

Hopefully I'll know more today. They're away from home until Tuesday. Thanks for the input.

I may be in NC the first part of next week. One of their security cameras went off in the wee hours of the morning a few days back. It shows an individual with a flashlight or headlamp in her back yard. It didn't capture much as far as identifying anyone goes. She's terrified.

I'll keep you updated.

If your SIL is the developer and the problem guy is crew get him fired and down the road. I’d have the cops go to the job site if he’s messing around the boss will get tired of that pretty quick.

When my wife was younger she was a real beauty. I was never bothered too much by people looking at her but I was always at state of high awareness..

One time she was at a beach and went to a restroom/changing station to change out of her swimming suit when a guy stood by the door waiting for her to come out. She told me about this later and she was visibly shaken and never the same after this experience, she almost never wore a bikini in public again, opting for a one-piece. When she came out the door, she saw him right there and reacted by instinct, she tried to go back in, but he tried to grab her but she got back inside and got the door locked. He did not leave, he just kept telling her to come out, he said he wanted to "get to know her" and this went on for about a half hour, he kept saying you "can't stay in there forever." Finally she just started screaming at the top of her lungs.

Her screams were heard by other people who called a lifeguard who ran the guy off and let her out. When she got home she was a basket case. It's hard to describe the incredible rage I was experiencing upon hearing it. I can't imagine how I would have reacted if I had been there and seen it happen.

I know how you're feeling right now but keep your head, you don't want some loser to impact your life for a long long time.

Take pintails advice

Sounds real serious. A professionally trained guard dog might b a real consideration

Didn’t read through everything. But how old is she? Not that it matters, but does she own a firearm?

I’m an action type. I’d take off work and be there if it’s a consistent thing. I’d wait, then I’d make sure he didn’t stalk anyone again. My cousin was in a bad relationship and and had restraining order. The guy just couldn’t let it go. I made a trip and was in the house when he showed up. She wanted to call the police when he pulled in. I knew a truck in her drive that he didn’t know would set him off…premeditated? Well we spoke and I told him to leave and shut the door. He decided another man wasn’t going to get his girl so he busted through the door.
Long story short when I told her to call the police they arrived to a very broken man with video evidence for the most part to justify actions taken. After his hospital stay he he went to jail and hasn’t been heard from again.
Sometimes folks just need to be taught a lesson. And make sure it’s a lesson they don’t forget. What’s worse for this guy is he was still under the UCMJ…so when local got through I made sure Uncle Sam got their licks in as well. Nothing against the Army, but he was convinced he was invincible.

She needs to know it is likely she and all her family members are in constant danger until he is either in prison or in the ground. She and her husband can never let their guard down until the situation is over. They need to read "When Violence is the Answer" by Tim Larkin. It will help them establish the proper mindset.

Be careful and smart, and keep your cell phone in the house.

besides pintails advice I would

when it comes to defense from a violent person , the victim typically has to be the person to do it , sad but true

so build the story on paper this is insurance down the road

all doors locked on the house all times even when home, we had a crazy lady walking into peoples houses and taking baths , while she was mostly harmless it just proves the point the fastest way to lock a door is to have it be habit every single time you close it.
I trained my daughters on this years ago and yes it is a little frustrating I get locked out as I am carrying groceries in because they walked in the door 10 feet in front of me.

install surveillance cameras , get around the house all angles so you can see everything from inside

sounds like newer house so I assume attached garage , clean it out so she can back in , yes back in this way you are able to open the door , see in , turn the car around and back in so you can see out , then close the door and exit the vehicle.
if you need to leave you are pointed out already and get no surprises backing up

then close the door before you pull away Assuming newer house and automatic garage door opener/closer it is down 3 seconds before you start to pull away.

if you go down there you are mostly there to watch the kids to facilitate the next items

she needs to go to a range and take some training and find the gun that fits her , one she will carry on her and use , if she won't do that then skip that step.
ask the trainer for drills for this type of situation maybe you find the trainer and ask them the questions
there are a lot of types of shooting and she needs to learn up close defensive right now , tactics like turning weak arm into and attack to push off while firing form retention
blue gun (inert training gun) practice knowing what to do and having it as muscle memory are two different things one takes though , the other is reaction with the only thought being do I or don't I pull the trigger.
obtain a CCP/CCL if they take a long time , where she is at , as part of the restraining order the judge can typically issue one.

she is building the paper trail and the skills should they be needed.

you can pay for things , you can watch kids , you can facilitate , but you can't be there all the time and neither can her husband so you are both around for relief and not the fight most likely should there be one.

inform friends , neighbors , relatives in the area , provide them a picture , description, a brief statement of the issue and the police number for her department to report if they see him following her.

develop some code phrases to use for situations

cops often have these little codes with their families , could be something as simple as "I left my pen in the car" and that is the code for let go of the shopping cart we are walking or exiting the store now. just a follow me we are moving


errands and shopping may have to become something your son in law does or goes with on more often
many stores now offer the curb side pick up this might be an option when she needs supplies , but buy some extra groceries ahead so that you don't have to just run out for a minute.

if she has a friend to shop with , it is at least a second set of eyes but they should know what is going on and be informed.

he likely wants her alone or that would be his greatest opportunity to do something

so for a while she can only be alone or distracted when behind a locked door

the situational awareness codes Cooper came up with are still relevant
here is a bit of a description
https://www.cmagriffin.com/situational-awareness-level/

you , friends , husband want to make sure she gets enough "white time" it is exhausting to be on all the time that is why the other tools help secure the perimeter for "white time"

Went through something like that in the late 70's, Posco. Everyone on "your" side has to take it as seriously as it truly is, especially your daughter and her husband. It will continue until something tangible is done about it.

I don't want to go into details in any way publicly, but the situation involving a woman I loved, and am still with, ended quite abruptly and without further incident. 'Nuff said.

Moosetrot

X2
I'm glad police are aware.
Praying for your daughters safety

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t hesitate, if your daughter wants, to spend time there with her. Unfortunately police can’t be everywhere at once and often the time of response isn’t what is required. If something is observed while there, do what is needed. SSS

I'll do what 98% of you guys guys would do to protect your kids. Still waiting to hear from her.
Me and my girls. My daughter in question is to the left.

Moose antler is an option, In Maine as in Minnesota they should be available!

Or swing by Louisville I hear it’s lovely this time of the year. Always handy to have around.

Find out where he lives, drive down and give him a visit, do not go see your kid or grandkids and then drive back. Do not buy gas with a credit card and do not let anyone else know where you are. He will never be a problem again.

don't it would be impossible to drive Maine to NC without being on 20+ plate readers and traffic cams

you have to find a way the local law can deal with it and that means documentation. unless of course you have stage 4 cancer then I am very sorry.

Pm sent

Sorry but that's horrible advice.

Probably not a good idea posting about this on public forum. If you happen to get involved in any kind of incident they very easily could find this and anything you say could be used against you.

This^^^

When I was younger I was working on a railgang in a remote area.The foreman was an older fella,early 50's at the time.Tony was tough as nails,and an outdoorsman and strong as a bull.
He was the father of 3 daughters,and very protective of them.
One of his daughters was married to a loser and he didnt like it.
When he heard that her daughter had been beaten by this loser one night,this is what he did.

Around midnight we heard the railway speedr start up and take off south.Around 6 in the morning we heard it coming back,just befor the shift started.

Found out later Tony had travelled thru the night by speeder, 150 miles by rail thru 2 railyards to the town where his daughter and son inlaw lived,grabbed the guy and pistol whipped him with a handgun within an inch of his life,rode 150 miles back by speeder.

His daughter left the guy,and never had any trouble with him again.

The police got involved because of the severity of the beating but couldnt prove anything since no one talked.

Now you know it’s a bad idea.

I know a guy that paints houses

Boco it isn't 1973 any more

150 miles in one night 50 years ago is a lot different than 1500 across at least 6 states with at least 3 states having toll roads numerous bridges

Looks like I'm heading down the first part of next week. They're out of town until next Tuesday. Hopefully we can get things sorted out. I'm flying down.

maybe ask paul to delete this thread from the archives...

Not unless he says so. As long as my daughter comes out of this unscathed, I could care less about what happens to me.

Nobody said “Train station” yet what’s up with that?

It gets on the internet as fast as you type it it would be pointless.

I've been in your position Posco and its no fun. In my case both my daughter and the perp were in the US military ( but off base at the time ) I was 2500 miles away so no way I was getting there in time. I thought the MPs on base would take care of the problem since one of their soldiers was running around with a couple of weapons hunting my daughter. I was wrong. They couldnt have cared less. My next call was the state troopers and that was a different ball game. They went hunting and found the guy a few hours later. He was still armed. They ended up tazing him and he was charged with felony kidnapping and assault. I wish they would have shot him. I would have. My daughter was raised to use her head but she was still lucky to survive.

Do these predators ever quit? I don't know. I'll do what I can.

I know I'm not universally loved in this forum but there are people here I've gotten to know and become fond of. I just recently retired and have time on my hands. Thanks for being a soundingboard.

he needs dealt with. good luck

Thanks, Danny. I appreciate it.

Like others have said, treat this very seriously. Its really hard to say what is wrong with some people, but there are predators out there. See it on the news everyday.

I would be pushing for firearm training for the entire family, and your daughter should have one available 24/7. Kids can and should be taught how to handle guns and when not to touch them. I've had a gun of some type around me as long as I remember. In the house; always. Our three kids were raised the same way. My youngest daughter scored 98% in a gun safety course when she was 12. I know a lot of families are hesitant to have guns around kids but it shouldnt be that way imo.

had to deal wit6h that 25 years ago kid just showed up during the school year nobody knew who or why started shadowing girls around the hallways then starting to show lists of girls and what he was going to do to them , followed some girls home from school they along with my daughter went to the counselors and superintendant same ==== as now don't worry about it Luckily we had a Police Chief that took his job seriously I called him and he checkedit out Called me back the next day said everyone at the school said no problemHe felt something was wrong and said i'm not done with this Couple days later my daughter came home and said 2 men in auits walked in put the kid in cuffs and left without saying anything When i called the chief he said I can't talk about it all i can say its someone elses problem now

Good luck Posco I pray everything works out for your family. I have a daughter also and I know how I would feel.

The upside is those type of creeps never look in their own rear view mirror. They spend a lot of time in lurking in dark and hidden places.
They still make ax handles. Never have to worry about an ax a handle getting messy, they burn up just fine.

Osky

You're a brother. Love abounds for brother's in the shoes you find yourself in right now.

Have your daughter's husband look under her car to see if this creep might have put an apple air tag on her car to know where she is at all times. It's a new thing that the police are see done by stalkers. Double face tape on the air tag and they can be stuck anywhere 24/7 tracking. Best of luck getting this situation resolved quickly making your daughter and her family save.

Take Care of all, prayers sent.

Take him to the train station.

What part of the country are you talking?

Id say its time to stalk the stalker.....or when the hunter becomes the hunted.

If someone is thinking about harming my daughter it would be dealt with the same as if that person actually harmed my daughter.There is no difference in my opinion. Period. Preventative measures. Good luck Posco! Do what needs doing!!!!

This post is nauseating. "The more times she files a complaint (against her life) the easier it is to get an order of protection for her life???? Did I read that right? But those complaints only matter if she's begging him not to rape her? Really?

This is why I'd encourage any woman being raped to shoot that -as the cops obviously could care less.

good plan ang

"And make sure she files a complaint EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS!" How does she file a complaint the time she is murdered?

I like how cops and lawyers say hire a lawyer. If the dispute is less than 50-60 thousand how can you justify 200 bucks an hour in legal fees? A 3 minute phone call is billed at a half hour.

LEO is not much help usually either. House gets broke in a rookie comes out to make a report for your insurance company. Somebody drives off without paying for gas they tell the station owner they can not do anything. Kids run your lawn mower through your wifes flowers at 2AM its a civil matter.

Facts is facts your on your own. When someone gets put on the news for booby trapping a remote cabin or beating a high school kid with a broom handle, the victim is now the outlaw. Its an upside down world.

I think what pintail is saying is build a paper trail so when the daughter/husband punches holes in him, there's a paper trail proving harassment/stalking.
As for protecting the daughter I would have paid the fellow a visit and no one on t-man would have known it.

The world has been broken for a very long time. People today incorrectly assume that the world started revolving about the time they were born. And an intriguing theme in this errant worldview is that almost all of us in this land, when confronted by brokenness, say the very same thing.
I hear it routinely spoken when someone has had a stroke, been in a terrible accident, been the victim by someone else's hand, been given a grave medical diagnosis, seen a loved one commit suicide, or any other dire situation.
They say..... "I can't believe this is happening."

Who sold us this lie?
That's what I ponder often.

In this, the most important week in human history 2000 years ago, the correct worldview was on display. In Jerusalem. For all to witness.
As the lamb offered for those who despised him and who also - like us in our broken nature - had an errant view of how things truly are.
This day, 2000 years ago, the hearts of those who had given birth, been miraculously physically and spiritually healed or been taught for several years by a sinless person now dead in a grave, were no doubt despondent. They too probably said, "I can't believe this is happening."

But Sunday's coming! Sunday's Coming.
And that day would forever and ever change the course of all of our human history.
Thank God!

Blessings to my Tman and Twoman friends and family!
Mark

Well, that fella may well be proudly serving time just like i would be doing if I got caught taking care of mine. The murderer who killed his Mom won't be murdering anyone anymore.

it is sickening but your nailed it
the Victim needs to be the one to pull the trigger , because they are the ones who have reasonable fear of great bodily harm

if there are pre threat events that solidify your defense as the victim , you should document them. because if you only wound him or mortally wound but he has a chance to talk before he does , he will try to play the part of victim so fast your head will spin.

you also have to stop shooting when the threat has ended or your in for murder even if it was justified to shoot him 9 times if you go up and finish him with #10 after the threat had ended you get the murder.

handguns are also not death rays and the threat can reasonable exist after the first shot , this is why a lot of training has people shooting till they get to the ground , then assess , there has to be some reasonable threat after that to continue

part of why you will hear police on body cams yell stop moving , put the gun down! bang bang bang they are helping to avoid the litigation that they fired a killing shot after the person was down, they are announcing the threat they see and why they are continuing to shoot.
they have to get cuffs on the person and keep them from harming anyone else

a lot of training is now 3-4 fast shots assess


there is a drill in firearms training called the "Bill Drill" it is a training exercise to train 6 rounds out of the holster on target as fast as you can at 7 yards getting all A zone hits. it is trigger control . timing and recoil recovery.
move it in to 5 and 3 yards , how fast can you go and still get the hits.
it isn't to say your training to fire 6 rounds , your training to fire what it takes to stop the threat , but 6 is seen as the minimum to get a good training in recoil recovery without expending more training ammo than you need.