Who else has a wife or girlfriend who asks what are your plans tomorrow. Mine asks me every night before bed. My response is open my eyes I hope. Is it because they have something else in mind for you to do or have a means to argue that this and that needs done verses what you have in mind? Is it a trick question? It seems it is. Just wondering if I'm alone in this interrogation tactic? LOL
My wife wants to know what I am going to do tomorrow. After I tell her, she always asks if I need help. If I need help, she helps, if not, she makes plans of her own.
I’m on the other side of this as I’m the one asking what she’s doing the next day since I’m still working full time and she is fully retired….i never know what time she is going to be home from the golf course…lol
My wife wants to know what I am going to do tomorrow. After I tell her, she always asks if I need help. If I need help, she helps, if not, she makes plans of her own.
Sometimes I take it as small talk. I go or do anything I want too. She has never in 43 years said I can't do that or can't go there. I can leave for a month hunting and she would not care and would encourage me to have a great time. I do the same for her.
Sometimes I take it as small talk. I go or do anything I want too. She has never in 43 years said I can't do that or can't go there. I can leave for a month hunting and she would not care and would encourage me to have a great time. I do the same for her.
If she can find any gaps in my schedule. She will suggest something or else that need done. I wish she was able to have a hobby or girlfriends that are close to take her away for a day , a week or so. Then I can get things done and not be reminded that "I would have done it this way". Or we don't have the funds right now speech. We do, but she's not a spender. Im thankful for that. That's way I cant wait for hunting and beaver trapping to come in the fall and winter. She knows what I'm doing but no idea when I will return. It's a mind control thing. And a memory that will let you let you know that you said I will do this or that and it didn't get done. I need to go fishing for a few days and turn off my phone.
mine was always checking in , it was her anxiety that she needed to know the game plan and generally make a list and add my list to it , then figure out what wasn't going to happen , what was optional and what needed to happen.
she could go on mystery road trips I had planned but that was her plan to not know what was next till we got there.
when it was chores , errands and such she wanted a outline of the plan especially for weekends. The places we needed to be at what times and then the laundry list of things we wanted to get in.
Yes , I have and still do pack 10# of dung in a 5# weekend , if you don't slide into Sunday night thinking man I need to get some sleep and go back to work tomorrow so I can take it easy . did you really do anything ?
there are 62 hours between 5pm Friday and 7am Monday , you should probably sleep about 20 of those so that leaves 42 hours to go and do and live and if I am honest 20 hours of sleep might be a little more than happens.
If she can find any gaps in my schedule. She will suggest something or else that need done. I wish she was able to have a hobby or girlfriends that are close to take her away for a day , a week or so. Then I can get things done and not be reminded that "I would have done it this way". Or we don't have the funds right now speech. We do, but she's not a spender. Im thankful for that. That's way I cant wait for hunting and beaver trapping to come in the fall and winter. She knows what I'm doing but no idea when I will return. It's a mind control thing. And a memory that will let you let you know that you said I will do this or that and it didn't get done. I need to go fishing for a few days and turn off my phone.
Sarge
maybe drag her with fishing. they can't call you and wonder where you are and when your coming home if they are in the bow of the boat. once the kids were adults and I started getting her to come with fishing , she thought of it more as nature spectating while holding a pole , that I baited and took the fish off. she just reeled them in. she was really enjoying that the last 2 years before she passed.
I get that question sometimes. I tell her that one of the perks of being retired is that I don't have to have a plan. Sometimes, I don't know what I'm doing till I start doing it.
My wife wants to know what I am going to do tomorrow. After I tell her, she always asks if I need help. If I need help, she helps, if not, she makes plans of her own.
Wow
Day before yesterday - she asked the usual “what are you doing tomorrow”. I said I am going to spray under the fences, prune and trellis blackberry vines, and pick the pears and figs. She said do I need to help. I said not really, but it would be a little easier if you drove the ranger while I sprayed - but I can do it myself. She said - Ok then, I will drive. I told her I was fine by myself with the blackberries. She fixed me a good supper and I told her I had to ride back down in the bottoms to change some batteries out in a camera - and she said ok - I will go with you can and we can pick the pears and the figs while we are out. Pretty typical day. One thing she requests - other than winter - is I take her fishing at least once a week. That is pretty much the only thing on her honey do list. She pretty much handles the inside activities and me the outside.
I ask every weekend what our plans are, if he needs help I'm there. Lately I've been loading the trailer with the firewood he is chain sawing. If we need to go to the ranch and check on things I'm there too. Been doing it this way for 37 years now.
I made the plans for next weekend, Coyote Days, without telling him first. He was happy to hear I got hotel room for us.
it took me years to understand why the anxiety would pop up about mid day Friday.
first I understood why it came up right before every holiday , thinking first it was just holiday stress , the cooking and such but It was when her parents fought. every holiday there was a fight , never anything physical , just lots yelling and anger and tension. so she walked around on tip toes trying not to set either one off. do exactly what was expected and try to never be the cause of a argument. walking around like your on broken glass for your childhood programs a person.
I was coming from such a different place in my family. My Dad was a teamster truck driver when I was a kid , vacation was precious and both my parents worked , we were going into Friday with a fish fry , ball games , scout camping , family gatherings , fishing or piling in the fun before it was work all week again. If I got the lawn mowed on Thursday that was more fishing time on the weekend.
Her Friday afternoon anxiety was a deeply programed dread of another weekend of fights. we were married 25 years before she passed and it was still there , but a good list and plans she could help calm that anxiety. crazy how we can get programed and it takes decades if ever to de-program.
so how about a little Friday music this was a lot more my Friday song pulling out of work just their math is off 62 hours at 5pm Friday. this song was played lot on the country station at about 5:10 on Fridays pull out of the work parking lot blaring from the FM radio on the truck.
she hadn't talked to her parents in 7 years when she passed , they are both still alive and were not invited to her memorial. didn't even know she was sick , the day after the memorial they didn't know was happening or had happened and that her relatives were cool with keeping from them. her moms aunts , uncle and her cousins were at the memorial. they had seen their behavior at the other uncles funeral and that made them not want to deal with it either. so the day after the memorial 11 days after she passed I got a call from a number I didn't recognize I had been expecting a call about a tool box I was looking at on marketplace. so I answered it and it was my father in law. he had gotten a peice of mail from her high school sending condolences and he was confused. Oh man that was a call I had been dreading. stomach in my throat , I explained yes she had passed on the 2nd it was cancer she had known she had it 6 months and that she had been very specific in asking me not to say anything till after the memorial was over. I expected about anything more than what I got. he said oh , I am sorry for your loss , like he was talking to a co-worker he hardly knew that entire call when I looked at the timer on my phone 2 minutes 45 seconds and a that's too bad I'm sorry for your loss and i bet I was the one talking explaining things for most of it.
so look a little deeper at why she asks and maybe you will find a better reason. you probably can't fix it , but might at least understand it a little better. so you can tell her what your plans are and make it work for her.
Too funny, Sarge. Zim often asks what I am doing and I often don't know. He is just making his plan and seeing what we might work on together, or if I will be gone somewhere. He is so great at planning his projects and going after them. All good!
Well today went well. 50/50 today for her wants and mine. Had to get a coffee pot at dollar general store, got my hair cut, had to get her smokes, go to the bank, stop by electric company, gas up car, go to tractor supply, go to Lowes, then picked up dinner. Then answered a couple of business calls when I got home. Finally sat down on back porch with fresh pot of coffee, ate dinner, I'm tired and ready for bed. Tomorrow it all begins again.
My wife will ask me what I'm doing on the weekends. I usually respond with "whatever I want". I do more than enough. she gets it. ---I'm currently building new cabinets for our house. so its not like I'm a total butt head :-)
My wife wants to know what I am going to do tomorrow. After I tell her, she always asks if I need help. If I need help, she helps, if not, she makes plans of her own.
Are you sure you aren't married to a dude? Sort of remenids me of the "chick" described at the end of "Hot Crazy Matrix".
it took me years to understand why the anxiety would pop up about mid day Friday.
first I understood why it came up right before every holiday , thinking first it was just holiday stress , the cooking and such but It was when her parents fought. every holiday there was a fight , never anything physical , just lots yelling and anger and tension. so she walked around on tip toes trying not to set either one off. do exactly what was expected and try to never be the cause of a argument. walking around like your on broken glass for your childhood programs a person.
I was coming from such a different place in my family. My Dad was a teamster truck driver when I was a kid , vacation was precious and both my parents worked , we were going into Friday with a fish fry , ball games , scout camping , family gatherings , fishing or piling in the fun before it was work all week again. If I got the lawn mowed on Thursday that was more fishing time on the weekend.
Her Friday afternoon anxiety was a deeply programed dread of another weekend of fights. we were married 25 years before she passed and it was still there , but a good list and plans she could help calm that anxiety. crazy how we can get programed and it takes decades if ever to de-program.
so how about a little Friday music this was a lot more my Friday song pulling out of work just their math is off 62 hours at 5pm Friday. this song was played lot on the country station at about 5:10 on Fridays pull out of the work parking lot blaring from the FM radio on the truck.
she hadn't talked to her parents in 7 years when she passed , they are both still alive and were not invited to her memorial. didn't even know she was sick , the day after the memorial they didn't know was happening or had happened and that her relatives were cool with keeping from them. her moms aunts , uncle and her cousins were at the memorial. they had seen their behavior at the other uncles funeral and that made them not want to deal with it either. so the day after the memorial 11 days after she passed I got a call from a number I didn't recognize I had been expecting a call about a tool box I was looking at on marketplace. so I answered it and it was my father in law. he had gotten a peice of mail from her high school sending condolences and he was confused. Oh man that was a call I had been dreading. stomach in my throat , I explained yes she had passed on the 2nd it was cancer she had known she had it 6 months and that she had been very specific in asking me not to say anything till after the memorial was over. I expected about anything more than what I got. he said oh , I am sorry for your loss , like he was talking to a co-worker he hardly knew that entire call when I looked at the timer on my phone 2 minutes 45 seconds and a that's too bad I'm sorry for your loss and i bet I was the one talking explaining things for most of it.
so look a little deeper at why she asks and maybe you will find a better reason. you probably can't fix it , but might at least understand it a little better. so you can tell her what your plans are and make it work for her.
If I recall GCP, youre not that much older than me. I cant imagine being in your shoes, Im very sorry for your loss
They don't come with an operators manual for a reason. I could go on and on describing those reasons, but I am certain, beyond a doubt, that I would be wrong. As long as she still smells nice and isn't stubbly, I'm good.
They don't come with an operators manual for a reason. I could go on and on describing those reasons, but I am certain, beyond a doubt, that I would be wrong. As long as she still smells nice and isn't stubbly, I'm good.
I'm a man I can change , if I have to , , I guess.
Pete . . . I am very sorry for your loss. Marriage counselors should have your story handy for parents who engage in such behavior. That's a heartbreaker, buddy.
I consider myself a lucky guy. I got a do-over at the age of 47. And she has no hidden agendas. Been together now for 26 years.
That being said, I do recall playing this song a time or two in my first marriage.
