Spanking children, I'll never to it again

I will never ever spank a child again. Not ever for any reason.
Five days ago my wife Susan, my granddaughter Maggie and I were in a Krogers, Maggie was riding in the buggy with Nana pushing it, I ran down an aisle to grab something and when I got back to the buggy Maggie said "I want out of this buggy". I picked her up and my wife told me "I told her she couldn't get out". Now playing a parent or grandparent one against another has always been a huge sin in our world. I said "Maggie, you asked Nana then played me?" I smacked her on the butt. She started crying, it doesn't take much of a swat on the butt from papaw to break Maggie's heart. "No Papaw, I didn't ask you to, I just wanted out of the buggy". "what?" "Papaw I didn't ask you after Nana told me no I thought you'd ask Nana" oh good Jesus, what have I done. I stopped right there and told her how I'd screwed up and asked her to forgive me. "I forgive you Papaw, I love you", with tears running down her cheeks.
So what did I teach my beloved granddaughter that day? That cause I was bigger and stronger than her I could beat her up? That a person she should have been able to trust betrayed that trust? There was no need for it, all of my grandchildren have always known my disapproval just by my looks and have always wanted to please me. Maggie is probably over it but nightmares have kept me awake these last five nights. I will never spank a child again.

I feel for you.I got my share of spankings growing up,and looking back i needed them.I completely support spankings but with my own,iv spanked them very little.Iv always just been able to look at them or say something and they act right.And we get regular compliments on how our kids behave.I think every child is different.

GOOD! No need for you to be spanking other people’s kids in the first place.

My dad All ways just looked at me and I new. Remember Jurassic that sometimes grandparents play a different role than in other situations. Don't worry Harley she obviously thinks the world of you, just apoligizeing tought her that adults can do wrong and that they do need to apologize at times. You might have tought her a different lesson than you realize

I cant comment about your situation but I feel that some kids need some reinforcement. My wife and I got married 10 years ago. Her son was 5. I had two boys one 5 and one 7. Her kid was Satan's spawn. He didnt listen to anyone or anything.One day he climbed on the top of my new truck and was dumping buckets of dirt on it. I wipped his but and told him to never do that again. He listened to everything I said for about 6 months until grandma and grandpa(wife's parents) saw me swat his butt one day and it was WW3. We had a chat about it and decided that they could raise him whatever way they wanted and I would raise my kids my way. Now my wife and I have a son of our own and the other boys are 17,17,19. My boys do good in school and both have full time jobs. They do what they are told when they are told. My step son has never listened to anyone since he was about 8. Now he runs around,never comes home on time,if he comes home at all. Does terrible in school. Cant keep a job more than 2 weeks cause he dont show up, I could go on and on.

Bottom line is I feel like kids need to know that if you mess up there are consequences

We have all been there one way or the other. I’ve messed up plenty of times as a Dad . When I realize it i tell them Dad messes up, I’m sorry. Big people make mistakes just like little people.

Spare the rod and spoil the child...

I have 8 Grandkids now all under 7, I'll tell you this...There is a time and a place (on the butt) for a corrective swat, some kids need it, some do not. I don't count to 3 with them they'll always wait till just past 2.8 before responding. If they're faced with Danger ...road, electric fence or other sinerio they need to obey immediately not wait.

Boy, that little girl played you BIG TIME, hahahaha

When I was about 7 I was a terror. I went one day into the grocery store with my grandfather. We went through the aisles picking out stuff, and he of course bought most of what I asked for... but one item he said no about. I have no clue what that item was now.... but on the way out of the store I threw a tantrum, lol. Right in the entryway, between the two electric doors, my grandfather whooped my butt. It was the first, and only time, I'd ever been thrashed. But boy, did I never forget it... and I respected my grandfather sooooo much for doing it. My mom was a pushover, and to this day I regret that she never laid down the law. But as I grew older I learned to love and respect my Grandfather so much more, for whipping my butt that day, because I sure needed it... Often I think back about how much better I might have turned out, had I been raised right.

Great response, Zach!
I spank my kids when they need it. I apologise when I'm wrong too. I think more kids should be spanked. All this "time out" and "you'll lose your video games" crap doesn't work, just look around or watch the news.

I got some good spankings when I was a kid. But I didn't get very many. It's like touching something hot... Doesn't take too many times to catch on.

I can only remember one time that I got a spanking and didn't "deserve" it for the reason given by my dad... Yet I lived. And the world still turns... I probably deserved it anyway for some reason he wasn't aware of. Lol

Mike

My brothers and I got so many belt whippings growing up they started putting books in their pants to catch some of the force lol. The day they laughed at Dad during a whipping and he found the books was not good for them.

Please stop posting.

I don’t know you personally but have “known” you a long time on here. You have a heart the size of Texas so I believe you turned out great.

Great story, I never have spanked my grandkids, I just get after them and they straighten up quickly.

I suppose I'm living in the past but it seems to me that society was much better off when adults were not ashamed to constructively discipline children by physical means if necessary.

Tell the kid your sorry and GET OVER IT, I'm sure the kid has.
I believe more children have been ruined because of a lack of discipline than because of parental abuse. Abuse and discipline are very, very different.

We spank in this house...my mom n dad passed down the little rod they used on me for us to use for our boys.

I will share another tool..apple cider vinegar. It is very healthy but doesnt taste good by itself. When our boys talk back or swear...they get a tablespoon of it. It quickly resolves those situations

I see the strangest threads here. I always wonder how many are real and how many are trolling for arguments.

That situation gives you nightmares? Just wow, seriously? I am a father of 2, my son is almost 3 and a half years old and while I make mistakes I own up to them by sitting down with him and hugging him and explaining to him that daddy made a mistake and that I am sorry and I will do better next time (there is always a next time with small children). I only spank when it is truly needed, since I was abused as a child I am very careful about when and how I punish my children. I will never have a hard time sleeping over a mistake as small as that because it is better to use every mistake as a teaching moment for both you and the child!

I spanked one of my boys in a grocery store shortly after arriving here 2 years ago. You'd think I tortured a child by the looks I got.

I believe in a good swat when it's warranted.

Harley your granddaughter is a fortunate child to have adults in her life that want to guide her.

Lol. This thread makes me think back to a childhood vacation in lake placid, NY. We were at a place called Santas Workshop in north pole, NY, a kind of Santa land christmas themed amusement park, and I clearly remember an entire area in a gift shop with wooden paddles of different sizes being sold for child diciplinary use. They even had cartoon characters of crying children on the paddle end with red bare bottoms. My mom bought one as a souvenier, but I do remember feeling it's sting a time or two. She was a slightly built woman with six large children who would routinely laugh when she had to resort to a spsnking ( which wasn't very often). I think the paddle evened the score! God Bless, Mom. Lol

Found a picture of a similar one.

I think all kids need discipline at some point in time. Too many kids now lack that, which is obvious in their actions and behavior in public that we all see.

When an obvious error has been made in a correction situation an apology is very much in order so the child can make some sense of the situation. That is always a good plan.

I certainly have had my share of spanking with the hand, ping pong paddles, home made paddles, leather razor strap, pinched, slapped and many good tongue lashings. I had it all coming believe me. I was an active and very curious young man in my early years.

Some teachers in my grade school would crack our knuckles with a ruler and pluck our heads with their long hard finger nails. Such good ole memories. I deserved those too. Then when I got home and the teacher called I got a trip to the work bench once again. All was good after that for a week or two. Then it all started over again. LOL

I believe I inspired much creativity in my dad for trying to find the best tool for the job over those early years. I know I certainly spent my share of time in the coal cellar leaning over and grabbing dads work bench many times.

Yes, I tried putting the small cardboard bound story books in the seat of my pants but that only made matters worse. Once he hit the book a time or two he hit lower on the back of the legs where there isn't much padding. LOL Didn't work out well for me.

Not as smart as I thought I was.

My old man burnt my finger with his lighter......when my mother caught me lighting matches in the house over and over....when I was 6 years old....needless to say " iam a quick learner " ...that cured me real fast.

harleydparts,
Don't beat yourself up I've reacted the same way.
It happens.
You did right by apologizing. I have learned to wait a little bit before the spanking and to explain them why I'm doing it.

Did yer Pappy no my Pappy ! I got the same lesson 40 years ago.
Spare the Rod, spoil the child - Proverbs 13:24.

Every kid needs to be reminded who is in charge once in awhile. How you do that is your business...but not getting that point across is doing far more harm than good. WE all know brats running around that run their house. It's never a good thing.

And a spanking doesn't even have to hurt. Just has to show them you are the boss. Kind of like holding a new puppy down by the scruff and making him submit. No pain but gets the point across.

Of course all of this flies in the face of every uber sensitive person in todays world.
And we wonder why our kids are disrespectful little brats nowadays. 40 years ago Mom and Dad were at the top of the household food chain. Today...not so much. hmmmmm

Don't be fooled, your little granddaughter was playing you, that is why she said what she did when she seen you in the first place. Your granddaughter is very smart, and will probably grow up, and become a politician. Kids are far smarter than many give them credit for, and that is a mistake many parents, and even grandparents make.


RTT

Don't be ridiculous.

you only failed to ask to begin with if she played you!

you jumped the gun, it happens

learn from this and don't make a knee jerk reaction like "I'll never"........

Kids (and adults) run better with a "tune-up" once in a while.

I don't even feel right scolding someone else's dog. But I'm sure the kid will forget all about it soon enough.

My dad knocked the tar out if me And i needed it...
Later that day or maybe two he talked with me about it ....when we both calmed down. l.p..
I deserved everyone I got...
As he got older every once in a while he would knock me for a good one...
I would look at him and ask what was that for.....

His answer was ..... I am sure I missed something you did....

Just ought to start walking around spanking kids when you feel they don't do right LOL

I'd never spank my grand kids, although I would make sure they knew I was upset with their decision.

Spanking is for the parents to do, no one else in my world, don't matter what the little carpet climbers do, if they did so bad I felt they needed it I would address this with the parents, not ever directly do the deed.

Did I ever spank my own, oh yea and right now thats why I don't worry about spanking my grand kids !

I say spank early and spank often. That is the problem with young folk today. They never got a whoopin when they needed it!

I've spanked mine when they needed it. My kids also know if me and grandma have the grandbabies and they warrant one we'll give them a pop. It's a way to teach. I got them growing up as did my wife. And it is what's wrong with kids now days. They don't fear the punishment. You've got to think back to when you were young. When you did something that deserved a punishment. Did you fear being put in the corner or did you fear being popped on the backside? I'll tell ya at 39 I fear my mother but I still fear the razor strap that still hangs next to the front door.

Doing something just because your parents did it or because its in Proverbs, doesn't make sense to me. I had the heck beaten out of me with belts, spoons, the old back of the hand when I back talked. It didn't make me perfect and other methods would have likely worked.

I have four kids and have not needed to spank them. They are good, polite and successful kids, but certainly not perfect. Having their respect and reasoning with them goes a long way when they screw up. Spanked kids are not perfect either, so what does it solve and teach?

By the way, burning a kid with a lighter is child abuse.

Nothing wrong with a spanking. I'm a firm believer in corporal punishment when needed. I think it's a major problem that more parents don't.

Wonder if the two boys who killed all those bees ever had spankings or just talked to in a stern manner?

Only had to spank my two kids a few times. Then all I had to do is give them a look as they got older. They remembered what the butt spanking felt like and thought twice before doing something.

There has to be consequences to actions.

X2

I think flying off the cuff is more of a problem than spanking. My mom was the fly off the cuff type, my dad was a "never lay a hand on a child" type. Neither is ideal in my mind, but somehow I turned out reasonably well.

Ive been spanked alot, but when great grandma got me...
My great grandma was blind, sweetest woman ever, literally. She would feed me anything. That woman could cook, blind as a bat, make food that Gordon Ramsey could only hope for.
Same woman, thought the sun rose, and set on me.
Same blind woman, lit my hind end a fire, when I said dang it. OK, I took the Lords name in vain. Bet your sweet keister, I'll not do it again...
You can shoot me in the face with a shotgun, and I won't take the lords name in vain...

When a crippled blind lady spanks your butt with an RCA, remote...



An RCA TV remote will make a fellar choose his words quite carefully

I'd pay anything to have her back...
Only grandparent that ever put me in my place, and she couldnt see. Still thought the sun rose and set with me.

First time I got in a fight, I won, wasn't a great victory, but when my opponent took the Lords name in vain, I commenced to running like a hound dog on a hot coon track...

RCA got me once...lol

I'm strongly in favor of firm discipline when it comes to raising children. I will give my sons a spanking if I feel I have to. But after reading a book called "Gentle Measures in the Management and Training of the Young" I am much less likely to resort to physical punishment and to look for better ways to discipline my kids.

In the book, the author, Jacob Abbott, makes the case that disciplining our children is critically important. Corporal punishment, he says, is effective and far better than no discipline at all. But he claims it is a rather crude and blunt method of discipline. There are better ways of doing teaching our children discipline without causing the mental terror imparted by a spanking. Seeing how my young sons react to a spanking, I tend to agree with him. My father certainly didn't "spare the rod" and thinking back on it, my fear and terror of the pain and humiliation of being physically punished probably was a big reason why my dad and I were never very good friends.

The main thing I remember from the book was to "make your children love you and then be what you want them to become, in their presence." I'd rather have my sons lovingly follow my example than have them be like I was to my father - lying to him, sneaking around, and avoiding his presence so that I could escape his spankings, anger, and humiliation.

The book is so old it is in the public domain and you can read it for free on-line or download and listen to an audio version of it. - Try project Gutenberg or librivox.com

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28136594-gentle-measures

I will never hit one of my children. It's just flat out not going to happen.

I tell each one of my kids personally that I love them multiple times a day.
I ask each one of them personally about details of their day and what they will do the next day.
I personally read to and play with each one individually every day.
I have special one-on-one daddy days with each one. They know they are special times.
We pray together at every meal. Each person says what they are thankful for.
We talk to the kids like adults and explain anything and everything they ask about.

The bottom line is my kids know they are loved and we treat them with very generous kindness and respect.

However, they have come to learn when I'm not happy with them. All I have to say is "If I have to tell you again, you're not going to like it."
9 times out of 10 they straighten right up. If not they lose something on the spot that is important to them. If they fuss about that, they get another consequence.
It's amazing how quick kids can wise up when you get them thinking critically.
They usually go and fuss somewhere for a while and then come and apologize to me for their behavior. We talk about what happened and why.



I was hit nearly daily as a kid. I always remember getting hit out of anger. Belts and sticks most of the time. One time was a frozen bag of bread across my head that knocked me out cold. I remember little white stars floating around when I came to. All it did was make me want to avoid those the people that hit me.

I could never bring myself to whip, burn, or beat my kids.

My twin daughters are 6 and my boy is three. We often get compliments on their kindness towards others.

I know if my kids principal did to them what my principal did to me........I would walk into his house and beat him with a perforated wooden paddle until he bawled........then spit in his face and tell him I'll be back for another one tomorrow.

I am a firm believer that it is NEVER alright to hit (hit not spank) a woman or child. I will also go out and say no matter
how angry I get I will never hit my dog. There is ways to discipline without spanking. Now I have heard the same to never spank a kid
but I have seen some out of control kids that if I had them I'm not sure what I'd do?

It's a tool, and like any tool, applied incorrectly it does more damage than good. Used correctly, it makes the job so much easier.

To those that say they won't spank, I have a serious question. How do you reason with a two year old? I've never been able to get it to work. But a quick swat on the butt sure seemed to get the message across. When I say "No!" it means just that.

Correction is a tough job. But in the course of raising children there are times when a parent must correct a child and let them know there are consequences to actions. My wife and I have raised 3 boys and at times spanking was used as correction. Its never easy to use punishment on a child that you love and loves you in return but its either correct them as they grow or go visit them in prison. I'm a firm believer in spankings, I wish the school systems hadn't removed the paddle. Nobody said it would be easy raising children but if you want to have good adults you better correct them when they are young. I had plenty of spankings and paddlings growing up and wasn't scarred or never sit in counseling over it, looking back I'm glad my mom and dad loved me enough to correct me. I'm hoping when I become a grandparent that I wont have to correct the grandkids, I'm hoping my children will take care of that job because I'm getting soft in my old age.

Never had to spank my kid.

I wish you were my dad ADC. Now I am scarred for life..

Especially when they are wearing a diaper. Gets their attention without any real pain. No has to mean no, no matter how you get there for their safety. I have not had to spank my son since he was in diapers, even then it was a little tap on the bottom, but he knows what no means. He is very polite and listens well. If you do it right, you don’t have to do it often no matter how you discipline.

I had some pretty good swats when I was a kid, but not a lot. I remember most every one to this day. I don’t want to do that with my son though. He is way more behaved than I was anyhow.

To each their own. I wouldn't try to tell you fellas how to raise your kids. My philosophy was that I am enough smarter than a little kid to figure out a punishment, or way to divert the bad behavior, that works without spanking.

I've seen kids that I wouldn't want to deal with though, but I wonder how they were dealt with in the past to get them to where they were when I saw them.

When I see an out of control wild child running around screaming in a public place, I start looking for the parent. That is the one who needs to be beaten.

Harleyparts, I don’t know you that well but from that interaction I had with you when you transported that pup for me, I knew you were a good guy. If you weren’t you wouldn’t care about the whole thing.

I don’t hit my kid either. He’s six inches taller than me and a boxer. I’d like to stay out of the hospital.

Go to the hood often?



Maybe try Chicago?

After reading all this ,i wonder whats wrong with the world today ,whip them into shape, after reading all this .i just want to hug and kiss. and go watch peter pan.

i'll add that not everybody is the same, and we will all react, behave, and learn differently from different experiences.

I got spanked, grounded, put in the corner, talked to, talked at, had things taken away, and punished in many different ways and probably deserved all of them. I never considered any of it abuse, or beating

Reading this it reminds me I haven’t spanked mine in a day or two, makes me wanna go wake em up with a good one right now lol. Im just kiddin but I agree that if you use it as a tool and get on a level with them and talk to them and explain why they got disciplined it should take but one or two times to figure out I probably shouldn’t do that again. Don’t beat em lol but every kid deserves a spanking every now and then, a few good times then all it takes is a look or gesture that gets the point across as they get older

Hey Mark, nightmares? Yep, a lot of things do. Sliding the Freightliner sideways on the ice, screw ups with folks, I see them when I'm sleeping and think about what I could have done different. Screwing up with a kid? Way into bad dream land. Over and over again my friend (remember that song?) . With my kids, never, grandkids just really and truly mess with me. You just wait. It'll be different from your kids.

And right there is what I should of done. And will do in the future. Advice to grandparents, read it twice.