your failure to plan is not my emergency

This is not Burger King. You get it my way or yo don't get the son of a **** at all.

I'm sweating like your mother in church.

Smarter than a tree full of owls
Great galloping gadwalls
Dumber than a tub full of a__ holes
Colder than well diggers a__ in the Klondyke
Colder than a dead witches t__t
Ugly enough to gag a maggot
Go P_ss up a rope
Sick enough to crap a tin can off a fence post at 50 feet
Stop that or you'll catch gingle dyka flutus
That will go over like a turd in punch bowl
He's a few bricks shy of plumb
Ya can't fix stupid (ala John Wayne)

Just to list a few

My Dad was a gold mine of the these sayings, albeit a little colorful.




















k

No matter where you go there you are.

I really don’t have a favorite but when I was a kid my moms was “When your Dad gets home you’re gonna get it young man” lol

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

this saying applies to stupid people who think they're smart and try to talk about things they have no idea about.... Its bad when you dont know, its really bad when you dont know that you dont know....

"Watch your own bobber"

" I don't give the north end of a south bound rat"

" you keep trying to straddle that fence you might lose something you're fond of"

It is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway

The more food you have in your
mouth, the better you can taste it.
When I eat, I'm a pig and I made this quote many years ago

it's from a movie but was one of the sickest ways to say I'm a bad arse

Tombstone........ I'm your huckleberry, that's just my game.

Nice !!

You know what a guy outta do!

Some folks just talk to hear their jaws rattle! Love that old one, and it is so true.

A horse a piece

Kids never catch: 6 of one half dozen of the other.

You can't be handsome you might as well be handy.

Sounds like bear tracker was watching gold rush

“Every dog has his day”
“Even a blind squirrel finds a nut”

It’s colder than a witches t-tty in a brass bra.

It’s always the empty trucks that make all the noise.

Run it like a rental.

It'll buff out.

A skunk smells his own scent first

Don't p_ss down my back and tell me it's raining

Not enough dirt, seen it right away

Pretty cocky for a starving pilgrim

We are borrowing this so treat it like your sister not your sisters friend

Beat it to fit, paint it to match.