
Got a call early this morning. My wife wakes me up on Mothers Day to talk to some dude that's got a possum in his house. He's so shook up that he can't even tell me his address. While I've got him on the phone, I ask him, "You do realize that I charge for this service, right?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just come get this thing!"
So I show up, he's standing in the front yard afraid to go back in the house. "I got him locked up in the bed room!"
I had a hint that I was getting screwed as we walked in. He ask how much and when I told him he said he'd have to take it out of the rent. Makes no never mind to me. That's between him and the land lord.
I start in the bed room and search the house. Took the bed apart. Nothing. Searched the closets. Nothing. Bathroom. Nothing Pulled out drawers, looked under furniture, searched the pantry, dug through piles of clothing, pulled out the hide-a-bed, second bed room, another closet, cabinets, cupboards, underneath and behind the entertainment center. All come up nothing.
Looked behind washer and dryer.... "Hmmmm.... How big did you say this thing was?"
"Oh, he was about this big." Indicating with his hands the size of it I see that we are looking for a baby. Just a little one.
"So, how long has this dryer vent been unconnected?"
"It ain't never been hooked up."
"Uh, huh." I look through the disconnected dryer vent pipe and can see the ground beneath the house. A straight open shot. I can see the lint inside has been disturbed and fresh lint droppings on the ground beneath it. "Well, evidently, he's gone back out the same hole where he came in at. This is his escape rout." and I showed him the open hole, the obvious travel way.
Well, at least the guy has peace of mind now that the critter is gone and won't be sitting at the kitchen table waiting for breakfast.
We walk around the house, take a peep under and size up the situation for later trapping if need be.
Now... Crisis over, I'm ready to collect my pay and get back home to my cup of coffee I've not even had yet. Then he starts telling me all about his neighbor, his girlfriend and the ho's next door. I don't care. I just want to get paid and go home!
When I cut the meaningless dribble short and ask him about it he again says, "I'll have to take it out of my rent." Like I said before, that's none of my business.
Then he starts talking about just been out of prison for 5 years, fixed income, high electric bill, ya da, ya da, ya da,.... "Crap!..." I see where this is going.
"Call my land lord." and "Call my girlfriend."
"No, no, no. It don't work that way." Now I've got to explain to this yahoo how things work. "If you want to take it out of the rent or whatever, that's between Y'all. The way I have to do it is the one who calls me is the one who gets the bill. Ultimately I'm looking at YOU to pay me."
Bill; $85.00 . He says he's going to have to pay me a little at a time but offers me nothing today... "AND THEN HAS THE NERVE TO BUM A CIGARETTE!!"
Know what?... The ADC agent is NOT the man you want to tick off! I leave there thinking to myself, "Buddy, if you AIN'T got a possum problem, you WILL have!"
