One of My sisters is a single parent with the father not wanting nothing to do with the child. He is a 14 year old boy who is smart. But he has no desire to try and earn any money. I feel my sister is babying him. When I was a kid I never got paid for mowing the lawn or anything. My allowance was to be able to sit at the table and eat dinner. My dad (his grandpa) has offered him 5$ each to mow the front and back yard of my folks place. Takes literally 20 min tops. Nephew doesn't even give it a slight bit of interest. My dad has offered him all the pop cans. 10 cents a piece deposit if he wants them to return then but yet they stack up sky high with no return. I talked to my sister about it and she just gets defensive. All he wants to do is play video games. And be on his cell phone. Last Sunday at family dinner ( I have a rather big family). He pulls out his phone at the table. And sits there on if for 10 min. Finally I said. "Do you really have to be on your phone right now what is so important". My sister is just as bad does the same thing. I have offered to take him shooting, trapping, fishing, going for a drive etc. he has no desire. I believe my sister is partly to blame for it. Is this the norm these days?

Why would a 14 year old without any money, have a cell phone?

Its not normal. Rude with a cell phone, sure the kid is 14, but something is up when a kid wont earn a quick 10 bucks. I suspect another income.

No phone at the dinner table

Yes, it is sad but true. I see it everywhere. It's too bad about the dead beat Dad not being involved and your sister needs help with some Parenting skills. Your nephew is headed down a scary start to life. No responsibility being taught to our younger generation is running rampid.

I feel like you are dong the right thing by at least trying to giving him other options of entertainment besides video games and cell phones. If it was me, I would have a one on one with your sister,it might not be pretty but at least she might realize that there is other options also and that your are only trying to help both her and your nephew.

It's pretty common. I have worked with teenagers for 35 years. I have seen nothing that has changed them more than the smart phones becoming popular. Many of these kids spend every minute they can staring at the phone.

I asked a friend who runs a grocery store and hires a lot of teenagers about it. He claims he has had many kids turn down jobs or quit when they learn that they cannot use their phone except when on their break.

We did not allow our sons to have a cell phone until they got their driver's license. Before that, we had them take a cheap flip-phone(it's the phone I still use)anytime they had activities after school or were with friends somewhere.

I have a small farm and see it all the time. Recently found a 15 yr old who shows up on time, strong as a bull, loves to work. Now I think he found a girl friend. I told him Rule 30. Stay away from girls til age 30. Hope it works. He will make it big time while most others will become losers. But hey the govt. will take care of them!

Don Wolf hit it on the head. If the kid wants a phone it costs $ and the kid has to pay at least part of it. Only by understanding the connection between work and getting things you want does a person develop a work ethic.

Offering to involve him in other activities is great but you can't compete with the instant gratification provided by the electronic media. To be successful you have to first eliminate or limit the media inputs available to him.

Lousy parenting may be the biggest challenge we are facing as a culture. The wife and I spend very little time with our granddaughter for exactly this reason.

Our oldest daughter has three sons, one leaves for USMC boot camp August 29. The second one will enlist in the USMC, (provided he qualifies) next year when he graduates high school, he's been waiting 3 years to do so and has never wavered in that. The youngest at 13 wants to be a radio repairman in the Navy. My daughter has had her share of man problems, believe me, but she always stayed engaged in her son's lives and upbringing, EVERYDAY!
When they were younger she brought them out to the farm alot. The whole family taught them to hunt, fish, trap and work. We taught them manners. We taught them patriotism, that all should love and protect this nation of ours. It was HARD work, but we stayed at it. As a Marine veteran myself, I am one proud Grandpa. It was all worth it.

Solid young adults don't just happen, they are MADE!!!

2X
Semper Fi

Normal? No.

Common? Unfortunately, yes.

Many kids dont value money because everything is automatically provided to them. Their fun and entertai1is their phone. So as long as that bill is paid they couldn't care less about anything else. And as you noted....its not just kids....its people well into their 30s.

Darn, That's sad to see and hear about nowadays. I don't mind earning money I even tried to start a lawn mowing business in the summer. I show goats and Beef animals. I help my grandpa, neighbors and pap do hay in the summer and fall too. If I volunteer, I don't get paid. If they ask for me, I might get paid. I try not to take from family because of course, they are family. I also help my dad do tree removal on some weekends. He works a full time job at Penn state taking care of their trees and most weekends does side jobs for the people around here. I hope to take a small business course this summer too. I Put up a pasture by myself a few weeks ago. I Only know a few kids who like to work like I do. I know if you live in town here, you'll never see a working kid under the age of 21. But you get in the farms there are a few kids that can do stuff.

Oh, and by dang I hope I don't get a phone til I'm 20!

Kids haven't changed much in the last 100 years...parents have. We worked because our parents didn't let us goof off. There have always been brats but for most of us if we got in trouble at school the REAL trouble began when we got home and mom or dad or both tore out butts up! Now the parents side with the kids. A kid can't buy a cell phone at 10 or get a bunch of video games on their own. Parents these days are the problem IMO.

Dont get one at all you dont need them, i have seen adults walk from the job because of cell phone rules . by the way keep up the good work.

They have figured out that they can get money without working. Parents hand out money for NO REASON. Kids don't have to set goals to be rewarded. Get honored for never having any goals....

Just think guys these are the people that will be taking care of us when we are senile !!! Or even worse running our country

Very true. The "parents" have allowed electronics to substitute for parenting. We have no kids but about a dozen nieces and nephews. Of that number there are 3 that are ambitious, self reliant and well mannered. They will be receiving our estate, except for the NRA endowment, which is substantial. The rest of them that feel entitled, are receiving nothing. We have not worked all of our lives to provide for spoiled ingrates that expect an inheritance which we know will be wasted.

An anecdotal example of work ethic: When I was young and up until about 15 years ago, every small town had signs with kids selling nightcrawlers for bait. I haven't seen one in years. It is impossible to find kids to show up to cut grass, rake leaves, shovel snow etc., jobs that we as kids were competing for to earn spending money. As an old fuddy duddy I miss those days.

No cell phones at the dinner table unless your looking up something pertinent to the discussion "Fact Checking" or yesterdays argument the spelling of Color/Colour.

my 14 year old son has his moments of minimal ambition but generally he has more twice or more the ambition of so many his age.

I still get to see a good number of kids through 4-H with a whole lot of work ethic and ambition.

the thing is my youngest daughter who likes the bare minimum we require of her , at school the teachers talk about how she has such a good work ethic and she has all A's on her report card.

Cell phones in high school the principal rants on an on about them for 10 minutes at freshman orientation , then on day one all the teachers ask them to take out their cell phones that the principal insisted had to be turned of and locked in their lockers and load x,y and z apps that they will need for the class. Maybe that changes some this next year all the incoming freshman are getting a chrome book that will be theirs for the 4 years. My daughter may however be right that after having that for a year all the teachers will adjust tot he chrome book and the upper class men will have to get one or get left behind.

his big ambition for today is to go gig carp at the lake , he will probably talk his older sister into driving him the half mile to the river in my truck with the kayak then he will paddle 2 miles up stream to the lake where he wants to go Gigging. But he has to mow the lawn first.

phones are actually great tools , but so many miss use them really no different than when they were attached to the wall.

my great grandpa used to jump on the party line and holler laddies get off the phone I got a sick cow and I need to call the vet cause they were all gossiping on the party line cause all they had to do was lift the hook and they could talk to each other everyone on the line up and down the road.

girls used to sit on the phone all evening chatting with friends , in the 80s and 90s people started getting second phone lines so that they would be able to get a call as the girls were chatting it up so much of the time.

then cell phones came about and parents wanted to use them as an eclectic leash , use to be you had to ride home on your bike and tell you Ma that you were headed to a different friends house and if you were late for dinner and your dad had to come find you , that was a head hung low waiting for the punishment ride home you might have thought it was the green mile.

I'm raising 3 young kids right now, and I hope I'm doing it right. I make them help around the place and teaching them responsibility, when they get to the age of 12 they will work summers for me in my business just like I did for my uncle tree nursery. They'll buy there first car just like I did or walk. What amazes me is my parents which done an awesome job of raising me and my brother are so easy on my nephews. My mom especially, she makes there plate for them, and they are 14 and 15yr old, my kids are 3,6,8 and they get there on. She buys my nephews phones and pays the bill, new shoes for every month, and pretty much anything else they want and don't expect them to do anything, which is the complete opposite of the way she raised us. Its caused us some arguments because I won't let her buy and do for my kids that way. Its crazy how much they changed in 20 years. I think it all boils down to parenting and part of that job is not letting the grandparents or anyone else baby them around. I also like to take my kids to the homeless shelters and let them serve just so they realize how good they have it