Alright trappers, fess up who else on here has one that they take into Wal Fart or other public places to act a fool and elicit wild and hilarious
reactions from folks. I have to admit. I know it is rude and that's one reason my wife stays at home when I go grocery shopping but it is just way too much much fun to blast out a wet nasty fartt in the face of the people that I pay for their groceries every month. Yall don't beat me up over this lets make it a funny thread. I wore them out today in Wal Mart and another gr0cery store.

If you can't cut a real one, stay on the porch.

I prefer "crop dusting"...where you ease one out, then stroll through a crowd of people.....

yeah sometimes I let my 15 year old fart device out in public but he is a real room clearer.

we had dinner with my parents last night we are not even to the end of the drive way and he let a toxic ripper go , with "ahhh I been holding that for an hour".

all 4 windows were rushed down breath held till it cleared

he was informed he could excuse himself outside at any time let that go , and return when the toxic had passed , I think he waited till he was sitting between his sisters intentionally to drop that bomb.

Need one for the Casino for the smokers, "do you mind if I smoke?" "Do you mind if I fart for 10 minutes and fan it your way?"

You must be blast around a campfire

Crop dusting is fun but not as fun as an elevator bath
Part of the reason I love being with my kids in a crowded area is people think it's them

Seriously! You can fart for ten minutes?

Don't be getting turned on now Hal it was just a figure of speech! LOL

I can with this fake fart deal. google McCabe fart jokes. plenty of others will pop up. If you don't laugh at these something is wrong. They are freaking hilarious. Law Dog, we need to get together some time and have a Wal Mart day. I can almost assure you it will be a most memorable day.

I was in the store today and this great big woman what I know is a leach on us all, because I have seen her in line before whip out the I get free groceries card. I let one go right in her face. It was priceless. she was in one of those lazy folks scooter.

It's not crop dusting. But I was know drop a good one alone in isle. Then run up the isle far enough to not look suspicious, watch next poor sucker walk into it..Watch the look on their face..
Another good one is to get by the eggs, meat case, deli drop a good one. Then when next person walks up say "Man they need to clean their case. I think there is something bad in there!"
Now since the cancer I can't even enjoy sliding one out...Never thought I'd miss that. Can still more than clear a room just got to use different method

Mac

Once my uncle made it to 60, his famous line was always “never trust a fart.”

You know what they used to say in WW2.. Loose lips sink ships!
That is not all that can happen..

Mac

You kids and your electronic devices!!!

Back in my day we interacted with people and didn't rely on some device to pass gas.

Mike

Anyone ever use stink bombs? One year my oldest bro bought a pack of them from a vendor at our pueblos feast. Him my other brother and cousins thought it would be funny to toss one inside the kitchen while people were eating and my mom and the auntys were cooking. They cleared out the house my aunt's were beyond mad. Then one little cousin started vomiting all over the house their only saving grace was it was towards the end of the day.

Then in high school one of my buddy's had bought some at my pueblos feast he saved a couple for school and tossed them in the halls during passing period twice in 2 different buildings in the same day. Nothing like 400 kids all gaging at the same time

I don't need a device. I can fart almost on demand. That is when I can actually TRUST A FART!

In professional contests, that's known as a triple flutterblast..

I come from a long line of brothers that think farting is one of the funniest things on earth. One of our best times was when we were in a store and walked up to another brother and dropped a rotten one, and then walked away quickly, leaving him to take the blame. When I played football in High School I was a lineman. One game we were down in our stances and our QB was going through "Down, set...." and I ripped out a loud one that actually collapsed both lines laughing.

I now sometimes need to resort to a remote control Fart Machine due to a trust issue. I hide it in various places as the remote can set it off from 30 ft. It's been under the copier when the interns are making copies, taped underneath chairs, and even in the podium of the Chairman of the Wisconsin Conservation Congress as he was addressing all of the delegates at the convention. After about 5 minutes of sounding off he finally looked at the crowd and said "That's not me!" The next speaker was the Governor so I had to go up and get it as I didn't think the Secret Service would fine humor in a little, black electronic device hidden in the podium.

I try to follow Ben Franklin's phrase..."Fart proudly."

Moosetrot

Are you saying you can't?

the collapsible one you keep in your hand is wayyy better than the remote one. You can grease up your palm near the thumb with some light gun oil or just put some type of slick mess on your hand. It creates some of the darndest real squeaky wet farts you have ever heard. sounds like you have just squirted your drawers. makes for some funny times in the store.

ha ha my phone has an app that plays fart sounds when it rings. Makes for a good time in the store when I don't answer it.

The ringtone on my sons phone...only when I call him....is a huge Fart sound. He’s been in line at the bank and subway ,when I call ....and he gets the dirtiest looks ....then laughter,when he answers his phone...lol

I killed an old lady in Ishpeming, Michigan years ago with a huge, deadly, silent fart. I'm pretty sure anyway, but I did leave the seen. It was an accident. She came around the corner behind me real quick like.
Is there a statute of limitation for manslaughter?
You know it is a bad one when you have to get away from your own self. That one stuck in the fabric of my clothes forever, it seemed.

Call me kookie this post is killing me..I got tears running on my face.

My younger brother always the prude would say.. Jeesh can't ya find something else to talk about..Of course then someone would just fart..LOL

Mac

This is normal when you hit 70. The only problem is you have to watch something else don’t come out with it and it is only gas.

Thanks Guys I needed a Laugh this Morning .

This is one of the best threads I've seen on here in a long time! The story 52 Carl tells.....admits to is hilarious! Like Mac, I has tears dripping off my cheeks! Keep em going boys!

heck it's sweet corn season everywhere,who needs a device.good ol corn gas

Not mechanically operated by any means but I got fart bombed in W Mart by about a 400# on the hoof lady last week. She was in one of those fat carts and was rolling down the isle in front of me. As I got closer to her the smell hit me right in the face and as I hurried to get by her another lady rounded the corner headed my way and road blocked me right behind the one with the gas cloud. I couldn't get turned around fast enough......

worst thing i've saw was an elderlly woman with the walking farts at a funeral.

Might have a topper for this one LOL
My son was about 15 and in hospital after knee surgery. A older nun comes in room to visit as is pretty normal at this hospital.
She visits with us a bit think did a little prayer with the boy. Then as she walks out of the room toot's out a nice string of walking farts I ever heard... We waited until she was out the door before boy and I both bust a gut laughing.. Wife tried to explain it away saying it was her shoes on the floor.. Yea right. my hearing wasn't that bad even back then..
Got another nun story but that was about actual turd... so really not for this post...aaaahhhh! have to just pass :-)



Mac

OK........back in my much younger days when I was going to UW Lacrosse, I roomed in a house with a bunch of other vets. Anyway, Once in awhile, Muskrat (Mike) would accompany me grocery shopping at Quillin's IGA. I blundered into a very effective technique to get through the checkout in a very timely manner. When I was about ready to get in line at the register, I would "crop dust" the check out area, then make a circle through an isle or two, then it was clear sailing to pay for my groceries almost every time. I was very hard to keep a straight face at the checkout, especially when the checkout gal had such a contorted expression.

I still "dust" the isles at Woodman's every so often....

i'm from a little town and must say its the only time i've saw 50 people laughing at a funeral.

Don't need a contraption.I can fart the star spangled banner.

I see a video going viral...in your future !

Just the word Fart bring a smile to most guys face. Its a funnt word and the out come is even better.

That just plain showing off

Guess I was raised differently.

Winter time is the worst. Bibs just funnel your own stank right up to the nose.

My fave is farting in an elevator and jumping out just as the door shuts!

Waders too!

Ohh the waders. Yes, the longer it stays in those buddies the better it gets. some company or person needs to invent the wader fart fan.