Hot loads? I shoot 44mag out of a pistol all the time. It's no .454 Casull.

243 doesn't have much recoil at all

Does she want to kill a deer as much as you want her to kill a deer?
Take her squirrel hinting with a 22 which fits her short arms. You don't want to ruin her with the startling recoil and loud report of a center fire rifle.

if you are gonna use a 223 for deer then it is absolutely critical that you use a quality bullet such as a nosler partition or one of the all copper monolithic bullet such as barnes or Hornady gmx. these bullets will stay together and not come apart. stay away from the varmit bullets like Hornady v max nosler ballistic tip and the like these bullets are designed to come apart and shooting big game with them is a recipe for disaster. frankly id stay away from a 223 for deer period lots of better choices out there with mild recoil

both my boys started out on a rossi sigle shot 223 between them and all there cousins the rifling is about shot out! Light and super short kids love it! Me I hate them ugly stubby guns and not a fan of a hammer gun for kids! But I will say the kids sure piled up the deer with it! Rossi sales one now that's either a hypo barrel or shotgun 2 guns for the price of one!

Started my girls deer hunting with .223, love this gun, they both took deer with it, not only for recoil but teaches a kid shot placement and selection. Now they are in their teens one carries the .243 and the other the 6.5 creed.

Those that say the .44 has more recoil in a rifle than the .243 are wrong. I raised 4 kids starting them out with the .44 Deerfield 70' style Ruger semi auto. That rifle has been in on many kids first few hunts. I believe if you're getting recoil from your .44 rifle it's only because it's a single shot or bolt. We also have .243's and 25-06 for the young'ns to use.

Keep in mind that recoil comes in 2 forms, felt and energy. Ruger m77 Mk2 or some Mossberg rifles of same weight and caliber, the rifles felt rifle is significantly higher than say a Savage. A heavy helps but also makes controlling the rifle more difficult for the youth to handle.

Length of pull is an issue as well.What I did for my boy is I am building him a rifle with a chassis system. I am a big fan of Savage while others may prefer Remington. Check out www.MDTTAC.com If you can, thread the barrel of the rifle and use light loads and recoil will not be an issue. With a chassis system, you can adjust the height and LOP for you or the child without re-zeroing the rifle.

Winchester jhp from Wal mart they kick a lot more in the rifle than a s&w revolver might be the steel butt plate

According to their website that gun only weighs 4.8lbs. The ruger Blackhawk weighs almost 3lbs so probably a lot more felt recoil than with the average bolt or semi.