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Get a lawyer asap.

She is using your son as a bargaining chip, get a GOOD lawyer, your going to need it.

Sorry to hear about ther divorce.
Go to court get 50/50 custody. Mon Tues 1 parent Wed Thurs the other parent. Alternate Friday-Mon morning. Monday morning the parent drops off child at daycare exfil etc... parents birthdays child goes with birthday parent. Holidays can be tricky but have an agreement where 1 parent gets child until something like 1300hrs .


Praying for you guys

Its a rough deal to go through and I hate to say it may get worse before it gets better. If you have a lawyer it shouldn't be a problem for yall to have a joint custody deal but I would make sure some where in the papers that it states if there is a time where yall can't agree on something you have the final say. Stay strong and dont give in. Being nice never works out in a custody battle. I have custody of my daughter.

First off, I'm sorry for what you're about to go through. Been there, done that...

She threatens to keep him away, or actually keeps him away, to control you.

If she won't bargain in good faith then the time to be nice is over. Protect yourself and your interest in your son and get a lawyer. It's the only way you have any chance at all.

We don't have a justice system in this country, we have a legal system. Remember that and act accordingly.

It sucks, and there's nothing fun about it.

Mike

You don't need a lawyer.

The schedule I mentioned works really well for the parents and children. I know several people with it. You'll get your son for a 5 day stretch then you won't won't see him for 5 days then you get him 2 days off 2 then get 5.

Sorry to hear about your tough time, sounds like she is trying to use him to hurt you. Don’t react to her in writing or in voice messages. Have her talk to your lawyer.

As others have said, get a lawyer, get two if you can...

Good luck, I know your son is younger but make sure he knows it isn’t his fault.

If she agrees to it, great. But it doesn't sound like she is willing to play ball. And a man has little chance in family court without a lawyer.

Mike

True but she'll need to compile a solid case for full custody. I've known many go without a lawyer and got the schedule.

I have a good friend that is having the same issue, except he was never married. His exfiance actually made his family pay $450.00 to see his son, when they came down from Michigan to see him. Then she stopped allowing him to see his son at all. He had to higher a lawyer, file a bunch of paperwork, refile the paperwork when he found she was in a different township and wait almost 3 months for a hearing. He was in a terrible state of mind. I was afraid he was going to kill himself. He gave the judge copies of all her harassing, threatening and extortionate text messages and the judge tore his ex apart. He was granted joint custody.

Now she is having him served with court papers seeking information a few times a week.

Keep all negative texts and emails from your ex. Don't say or type anything that can be used against you. Get a DNA test on your son. Get a very good, experienced lawyer. Seek professional counseling if you need it. Being kept unfairly from your children is terrible.

I hope it goes as well as it possibly can for you.

Keith

….. hath no fury like a …..

Another thing keep good documentation, print text messages etc.... most courts won't want to see the evidence at each hearing but when they do want it you'll have it ready.

If there are Drugs or Alcohol especially on the mans side you will have a tough time hopefully you have a job and have had a home for all of you which you have provided . Being unfaithful will not affect a woman's case unless it was prostitution so don't go there. If she is a party type you may end up with the children as I did because they hindered her lifestyle and the new man didn't want them .Really what I am trying to say is keep your cool no matter in a year you will hardly remember her !

My wife and daughter went through this. You don't need an attorney, the best advice we were given was hire a barracuda! Get an attorney who will get mad dog mean if need be. Spend the money and get an agreement you can live with also. Keep records. Fight for your child and your rights.

I went thru this tho I live in Alaska. Generally when a child is born, the 2 people named on the birth certificate have equal physical and legal custody. Physical and legal are 2 different things. Until a court changes things that is the way it stands.
YOU NEED A LAWYER! Apparently your son stays at your wifes house. Do you realize she could pack up at any time and go to another state? YOU NEED A LAWYER!. You need to file a paternity suit asap or..............get the child to your house and KEEP him there. However, SHE WILL GET A LAWYER!. She will probably get one anyway so YOU NEED A LAWYER!.
Do you have any criminal history? That could be a problem depending on what it is. If you don't, you will almost certainly get joint custody but a court will have to order that. Again, YOU NEED A LAWYER! She already is uncooperative. You can file a paternity suit yourself but I guarantee your going to need a lawyer.
It won't be cheap but the alternative won't be either. If she gets full custody you'll be paying child support and only seeing your son seldom.
Might be another man involved now. Nothing screws up a cooperative woman more than another guy telling her what a POS the ex is. YOU NEED A LAWYER!
MT

She has already backed you into a wall, get a lawyer. Make sure you know what you are signing, it may come back later to grab you. If it is not on paper it did not happen. You have rights as a father under the law. Keep cool.

Sorry man, sorry. I can't imagine.

I'm sure you're in the most hellacious experience of your life and I feel for you. One step at a time through dark days.

1. You need a custody lawyer, one experienced in setting up workable care and visit's, alternate holiday over nighters and such.

2. Don't listen to any one who say's you do not need a lawyer, things change in a heart beat and the only way to put them back the way they were if one move the other direction with a child is your filed paper work from a court.

3. Be patient, not overbearing, not physical, or threatening, don't do things to make her upset, or be used against you, as it will be.

4. Never give up your custody rights, make sure this is in writing, and who is going to be financially responsible, usually this person is the one the child lives with, not necessarily the one paying for everything.

5. Make sure your rights are not broken when sickness or health is concerned, everything has to be written down and gone over.

6. Just because the court say's so, does not mean one or the other will do as the court say's, you must dedicate your self to daily entries of concern about the child, at your , place when gone and at the other place.

7. Families, friends and new significant others have a tendency to manipulate either spouse, they will visit when it's your turn usually as the other will eventually break away, very few divorce parents keep relations with in laws. Your the one in charge of these things on your side, not any one else.

8. It's real tough on kids, always is and the parents can make it worse, the kids lose track of where they belong, who they are and wonder if they are the cause , bitter divorces make this much worse, some come out of it others never do, be ready for this and keep your communication open from the child's early age and up.

9. Never underestimate the way's of a bitter significant other to do what ever they can to maintain control of the child, at any cost to you or the child, they don't think right and its a war with them.

10, Sit down and make your own list of things you wish to share and not share, be prepared to use second choice's to move things along, compromise wins court case's, it show's the judge your always ready to spend the time and effort to be with your child.
11. When old enough the child will decide where they want to be, this usually happens around the junior or high school years, if you have spent your time well with them they may choose you if living with the other, or the other way, don't try and make the child feel guilty for their choice, they have already gone through that once.

Good Luck.