If you don't, it likely won't be admissible in court.

Some state allow 1 party knowledge and some require both parties to have knowledge to be legal to record a conversation.

i think if she knows he's taping her,she will be less likely to try and provoke him.

Your soon to be ex wife is an excellent trapper and has you caught using the child as the lure to control your actions.

First step,NEVER TELL HER ANYTHING as that is like leaving your gloves at a set. Find the best child custody lawyer and pay the bill, because this is just the start of this and you let your attorney do the talking for you as your talking is only going to make things worse.
You are going to have to go through all of the hoops in this from assessing your mental state, your economic situation and what you are posting online. I will repeat that what you are talking about online is going to show up in court.

You will have to explain to your attorney what you want and that means not giving away everything to see your child. That is not a place to start in a custody case, or you are going to end up eating beans out of a can, as your ex vacations on child support with her boyfriend, still using the child as leverage in your not getting to see him. always reported if you are late with a payment or if you get frustrated and do something stupid, because women spend money meant for children to get at their ex husbands as they know that will trigger the ex husband as the child complains they need something for school, which you think support should pay for and it is not, but you have no legal say in the matter as it is support payments. This is why you need a lawyer as your soon to be ex is already playing games.

If you know some people who have divorced, talk to them and get recommendations on their experiences with attorneys, but when this is said and done, your legal point should be joint custody and depending on incomes she may be paying you child support. Understand maintaining your rights is protecting the child, including having it in writing that noe one gets to move out of state. Get in the correct mindset that you are going to be dealing with this for the next 20 years. When you get a girlfriend there will be retaliation, the child will be used as a tool, and you will have paraded before you her boyfriends. Everyone likes to think people are reasonable. That ends a great many times at the I DO and it really hits the fan when it goes to divorce court.

You really need an attorney, because it sounds like you already moved out of the home, and that is the first thing a good attorney will tell a man is not just leave the house as it was your home. From this point on you have your lawyer fix things and deal with paying that bill, as it will save you the huge problems later and even larger misuse of child support. Your best friend in this is the courts. Get things in writing and then the courts protect you and your child.

I had a long custody battle. My Ex used my kids as weapons, even on scheduled Holidays, I would go to pick them up only to have her say "they are not going..." Terrible for the kids. I would simply return home and write down everything about the incident then let my lawyer know what happened. Her goal was to provoke me. Stay cool whatever happens and lawyer up my friend. My Ex successfully manipulated my kids and I havent seen them for a few years until my daughter came back around. They are 21, 23, 25. Ex is a consumate "victim" and co-dependent as heck, she wants to be their buddy not their parent.

Best of luck, hopefully her friends can talk sense into her and let you have 50/50. Keep an eye out for her drug and booze use, it may help your case. As for you; stay out of trouble and on the high road.

Feel for you brother!

As mentioned above, legal representation is a must. The most precious thing that will ever be in your life is at stake right? There is no end to what the little guy means to you, no fear then of cost.

Once you have representation sit down and decide exactly what the options are, come to a solid decision on what you want period. Peeing back and forth will just cost money. The age when your son can decide who he wishes to be with will come around in a heartbeat, be a solid father not a spoiler and involve him in all you can in your life.

I would caution you... He comes first before any new woman in your life. Do not force a new mom on your son or a revolving door of dates. Do that when your alone. She will, so show him a higher standard it will foster the ultimate payoff for you one day.

You and your son will do well.

Osky

Sorry, a last crucial thing.

Make absolutely sure that if she has physical custody granted partial or full, she cannot move and take your son with her. Many states will do that usually limiting it to staying within your state. Your soon to be ex may meet some guy from who knows where and decide to go there taking the little guy with. Have the restriction in the settlement.

Osky

sorry to hear it Brett
Document EVERYTHING ("dates and quotes") she does to "use" the child as a pawn, as well as anything sneaky/underhanded,etc PROVING she does NOT have the childs best interest in mind.
Hope your lawyer already told you this
It sure helped my buddies and won them custody.

and remember you have many intelligent people here that have your back and best interest in mind.this forum and its great people have helped me through some stuff i didn't think i could make it through.better counselors and therapists here than any i've ever paid for.

I would find a good mediator and only see the woman at mediation sessions....if you initiate mediation you show good intentions. The downside is most are liberals and will favor the woman. But it is still a good option. Once a person has show hostile intentions (keeping a father away from a child is a hostile intention imo) why ever meet alone with them? Get the divorce and financial settlement done and focus on getting fair custody time from the courts. Dealing with an angry/irrational woman should be avoided at all costs.


A judge deciding custody issues will want to see you display a genuine interest in what is best for the child. My ex talked my son (at one point) into saying he did not feel safe with me. Which was all about he did not want limits on his behavior and non physical enforcement of those limits. I would go to pick him up with a cop on civil standby and I got documentation. When I finally got before the judge she asked me when was the last time I saw my son(going off the ex's claims that I was a terrible, abusive parent who did not care about my son). I produced the documentation of 10 attempted pick ups.....explained about the difference in parenting style, manipulation of the child to say what he said and that there was no legitimate reason to suspect any type of abuse. I also had letters from teachers who said that I frequently picked up my son after school and he was always happy to see me and I told the judge I was ready to go to any type of evaluation she felt was appropriate......things like that are much better than some recorded conversation..I had to do 7 months of supervised visitation, after the first visitation the staff there said that supervised visitation was not necessary but her lawyers fought that tooth and nail. So I did what I had to do. But in the end even thou I won hands down in court my ability to effectively parent my son was really destroyed. These things really make the kid in charge to a degree....it is a bad situation. If she is hostile at the beginning of the process it will only get worse especially if you win a good amount of custodial time in the courts.

Anyway, that's just some of my experiences in dealing with a similar issue, I wish you the best but you should really prepare for a long hard never ending fight.

I Know a guy named Guido . Just sayin.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE !!!!!!!


TIMES 100 IF she has one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Get everything in writing signed by the court. KEEP RECIEPTS !!! Start a journal and record all the times you keep him . TRUST me you will thank me later for that advice.

Been there done that . Friend told me about receipts and journal. Can't come done to "I paid for everything" It will happen sometime. Don't slack on writing stuff down you are going to need it for the next 15 1/2 years....

X2

PLUS REMEBER NO WOMAN IS WORTH going to jail over. So keep your cool. Smile in front of your child and / or judge. She will try to get you so mad that you show a violent side and then you are toast.

What's wrong with the schedule? It has worked well for those I know with it.

Lawyers, to each their own. It's possible to go through the divorce without them.
Yes document everything.

I have a buddy going through divorce the mother in law was playing dirty which forced him to sell his vehicle to get a lawyer. His wife passed away last week (due to health issues) and now he's out several thousand.
I've known several to go through their divorce without lawyers. If it's civil there's no need for lawyers.

Buddy married a simple but evil Mamas girl that went as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter that took years to straighten out and cost him a lot of lawyers fees. The guy never had any legal problems ever just a good guy all around it was nuts and sent on for years. So ya CYA at all turns and get the court papers or you are at the mercy of the Mom and a system that favors the Mother mostly.

It is possible to get divorced without both parties having a lawyer BUT only if both parties are on good terms and there isn't any fighting and bickering and game playing. Amnicable divorces, with children involved, are possible. But they are few and far between.

If your soon to be ex-wife is not being agreeable - get a lawyer.

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, Brett. She sounds like she is using your son as a weapon to hurt you. I would say you should get the best lawyer you can find to fight on your behalf. You should be armed with the best representation and advice from someone who knows the laws in your state.

Lots of good advice on this thread. Be careful and take the high road, but use a good attorney to do battle on your behalf.

Good luck to you! That little guy will never forget catching those fish!

I hope your living in the house with the loan in your name. What about the deed? Just your name on it also?
Good luck. Sounds like your heading in the right direction.
mt

It sounds like you're on the right track Brett and are mostly looking for support. It sucks and my recommendation is stick to your guns, no less than 50/50 custody. Good luck brother.

As poorly as many women act, it is amazing that more exhusbands don't have their exwives whacked. It would be much cheaper, easier and less of an emotional strain.

People need to realize that the petty fighting is devastating for the children. The children see an attack on either parent by the other as proof that they themselves are just as bad the parent being attacked.

Keith