This thread helps me recover from a day of people every weekday.

Weather Report for Western Pennsylvania: The season is changing & the temperatures are dropping. Mixed with the warm air coming from the south, residents are worried about severe weather, high winds, & the possibility of tornadoes. Meteorologists agree that the city of Pittsburgh has no need to worry about seeing touchdowns. Strangely, the Rooney family has been purchasing land all over Pittsburgh, presumably to open trailer parks everywhere after seeing there were no threats of touchdowns any time soon.

In other news, the FCC received numerous calls yesterday from people complaining about pornography being shown on regular TV. The FCC assumed someone had hacked into a TV station & had been showing the oral sex porn movie from the 70's known as Deep Throat, only to find that all the sucking they saw was simply the Pittsburgh Steelers.

In related news, Roger Goodell has received notice from the Steeler organization that they would like to change their name to something more fitting. They are petitioning to be named the "Pittsburgh Monica Lewinsky's". Monica Lewinsky has gotten an emergency court order blocking the name change based upon the claim it would ruin her image, saying "At least nobody was unhappy with my performance".

To keep with recent tradition of sucking, the Steeler organization tried to hire Jenna Jameson as a consultant. However, she turned down the offer after her interview with the Rooney's. She was apparently creeped out when she saw Ben Roethlisberger following her to the bathroom.

In other news, the cult classic "Clueless" starring Alicia Silverstone is being remade by Hollywood. "Clueless 2019" will be released in the fall of 2019 & will star Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin, Offensive Coordinator Randy Fichtner, & Defensive Coordinator Keith Butler. The film industry is trying to get the movie an "R" rating after originally being told it will automatically be rated "X" for obvious reasons.

This just in: An attorney representing Monica Lewinsky has stated "The Pittsburgh organization will not name themselves after my client, slandering her reputation as that of a Tijuana (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman)".

In related news, Bill Clinton was giving a speech on a college campus when someone quoted Ms Lewisky's attorney. President Clinton was witnessed by numerous people as getting extremely excited & yelling loudly "Did someone mention Tijuana (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman)!!!?"

In other news, Antonio Brown was asked if he will be able to wear the helmet of his choice in New England. He still has not been able to answer the question due to mysteriously falling into a fit of uncontrollable laughter immediately following the Patriot/Steeler game.

These stories & more on your local news station at 8.

Keith

Dungeon Master Level.

Amen Bra!

Good one!