This one goes out to those of us whose old men weren't exactly
supportive, those we didnt get along with, those who passed too
early, those with substance abuse problems, those who didnt care
until it was too late....
How did you/how are you rising above that?
Ever see yourself following someone's footsteps you don't want to?
How did you get out?

Yeah, ive done more than he'd or most would ever dream of or realize,
but id love to have him see it and enjoy it with me. Im hung up on it.
Daddy issues. It is what it is. Kinda sucks.
And you're right about the bad or useless. If nothing else, it showed you how
you didnt want to be.
I wish he was still around to help me and my Mom with my younger sisters.
They're gonna wear her clean to dust.

look for the good there's some in every one [i believe ] learn from his mistakes , when your a dad be a good one

It has been suggested to "be the change you want to see," because we can't control others but we can only control ourselves.

In my role as hospital chaplain I often see people bringing their junk and loading it on other people.
Every 2 or 3 generations it seems one person rises above the family junk and says "no more."
And then that person's kids find new junk to bring and toss around and the cycle begins again.
Fascinating to witness.

Please feel free to PM me. Maybe I can help ya

Acceptance or recognition from someone who may not have the capacity to do so, always set me up for disappointment. We do what we do because it's the right thing to do. Don't expect people that do not have the ability to be present physically or emotionally to make a difference in how we go about our life. Move forward. Always.

[quote=Coyote Clayton]Acceptance or recognition from someone who may not have the capacity to do so, always set me up for disappointment. We do what we do because it's the right thing to do. Don't expect people that do not have the ability to be present physically or emotionally to make a difference in how we go about our life. Move forward. Always. [/quote

Very wise words.

I experienced most of what you stated. I found that One who is a Father to the fatherless and learned to walk close to Him. Find father’s who you admire and spend time with them and ask questions. It is a daily walk with intentional decisions to over come your past. God bless.

When I was growing up I didn't see how two parents as dumb as mine could have ever raised 4 kids. When I got about 30 they both started getting smarter and the older I got the smarter they kept getting. Then when they got in their 80's they abandoned me and left me an orphan.

The child is not responsible for the fathers sins unless they do them, so the things you perceive as too weighty to be lugging around get rid of them, but replace them with something such as faith in a savior. If you just clean the bad things out and don't replace them with something else good like faith, they will just move back in to your clean house and bring more friends and things will be worse.

As WI Farmer stated there is a Father who will take up the orphan, so get close and stay close.

PM returned I was on my own at a early age I spent a lot of time being angry and blaming others, once I found peace with what I was dealt my life got easier after that. If not for honest friends holding me accountable, finding the outdoors and the rural lifestyle you realize what sucks now will be a strength later in life.

The KISS principle works in all situations.
You’re never wrong for doing the right thing.
Doing the right thing is a good pillow for a man to lay his head on at night.

very wise...I had both parents like that...was unwatched and uncared for at 4....left at 15. Gives me perspective of what I didnt have and give it to my child. Also taught me not to give the bad I recieved. Its working for me.

Dad and I didn't get along well when I was young
The battles ensued till I was seventeen
Came home past his curfew and he threw me out one night
It was my fault and I knew it
Tried patching things up for years but he was very bullheaded
When my daughter was thirteen she passed away from juvenile diabetes
I went and saw Dad that day
He told me he loved me and he was sorry for all those years
Thank you Alesha, we may have lost you but you gave me back my father

God bless you all.

Thank you all. Took me until today to read it....



So, Mr. Preacher...tell me about my "junk." In your Godly wisdom, you sure
seem awfully ignorant. It's really easy to sit on your own pedestal and cast
arrows at those who not only rose above, but those who DON'T have anyone to
talk to other than internet fools. Did i put anything on anyone, or did i ask for
anything other than words...No, i did not.
Dont you dare lump my family in with anything else ive said.
Nothing wrong there, but it seems you cant identify with anything other
than rainbows and butterflies.
Seems fake to me.

Furstroker , I think you missed the point the preacher man made in his post . There's alot of Truth in his observation and experience in the matter . It doesn't seem he was directing any of it towards you , but merely suggesting that you are not alone

I never had much of a father once I hit my teen yrs . It is what it is . I just try to do better by my family

It looked to me like he said I've been looking for a scapegoat,
and my family is a mess....so how did you read it?
Everyone has someone to count on...i dont.

Who's family isn't a mess?

He's saying it's an messed up cycle , generational , that you and I and others are the only ones that can break that cycle . Even with no one to lean on it can be done .

I get that...but when youve been the man/protector of your family since your teens,
with no help, and your 42 with no one to count on, it gets tiresome and sad, honestly.