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Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366279
09/28/21 08:58 AM
09/28/21 08:58 AM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 95
Northern Minnesota
K
kabguy Offline
trapper
kabguy  Offline
trapper
K

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 95
Northern Minnesota
What's the difference between a dead lawyer on the highway and a dead skunk on the highway? There are skid marks in front of the skunk!

Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366325
09/28/21 10:05 AM
09/28/21 10:05 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Oregon
beaverpeeler Offline
trapper
beaverpeeler  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Oregon
It was soooooooo cold the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets!


"Hyar's the beaver. Whar's the likker?"
Re: I've never met James. [Re: kabguy] #7366329
09/28/21 10:08 AM
09/28/21 10:08 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,984
Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"
HobbieTrapper  Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,984
Eastern Shore of Maryland
Originally Posted by kabguy
What's the difference between a dead lawyer on the highway and a dead skunk on the highway? There are skid marks in front of the skunk!


LOL!


-Goofy-
Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366340
09/28/21 10:21 AM
09/28/21 10:21 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,143
Iowa
~ADC~ Online content
The Count
~ADC~  Online Content
The Count

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,143
Iowa
What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller.

Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366356
09/28/21 10:38 AM
09/28/21 10:38 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 131
indiana
M
mink44 Offline
trapper
mink44  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 131
indiana
Why do lawyers wear neck ties?



To keep their foreskin out of their face.

Re: I've never met James. [Re: mink44] #7366377
09/28/21 10:58 AM
09/28/21 10:58 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 5,460
Sauk County, WI
Patrice Offline
"TMan Feed Gestapo "
Patrice  Offline
"TMan Feed Gestapo "

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 5,460
Sauk County, WI
This is too funny. When I first met with my corporate attorney, he had a coffee table book in his lobby with these lawyer jokes in it. That really made me laugh. grin


WTA District 9 Director ... Go D9!
Member: WTA, Intertel, Mensa (Trappers ain't stupid.)
Life Member: NRA
Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366413
09/28/21 11:42 AM
09/28/21 11:42 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,226
alaska
3
3 Fingers Offline
trapper
3 Fingers  Offline
trapper
3

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,226
alaska
Growing up we caught burbot which are called lawyers in N Wisc. I was told it’s because their heart is next to their anus. No disrespect James, who I HAVE met. Bought some used traps from him for a good price. Fine man IMO.

Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366617
09/28/21 04:05 PM
09/28/21 04:05 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,424
Anchorage, Alaska
J
James Offline
"Minka"
James  Offline
"Minka"
J

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,424
Anchorage, Alaska
That's not me. It's my doppelgänger.

Catch any otters in those traps, 3 Fingers?

Jim


Forum Infidel since 2001

"And that troll bs is something triggered snowflakes say when they dont like what someone posts." - Boco
Re: I've never met James. [Re: James] #7366692
09/28/21 05:26 PM
09/28/21 05:26 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,226
alaska
3
3 Fingers Offline
trapper
3 Fingers  Offline
trapper
3

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,226
alaska
Originally Posted by James
That's not me. It's my doppelgänger.

Catch any otters in those traps, 3 Fingers?

Jim

Those traps came in on the flight that hauled me out last year, so maybe this season. Burbot are your doppelgänger?? smile

Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366695
09/28/21 05:26 PM
09/28/21 05:26 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 14,906
North East Kansas
Marty Offline
trapper
Marty  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 14,906
North East Kansas
I never met dipstick either and hope it stays that way.. smile


Live/Die with Integrity and Honor.
Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7366696
09/28/21 05:29 PM
09/28/21 05:29 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,424
Anchorage, Alaska
J
James Offline
"Minka"
James  Offline
"Minka"
J

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,424
Anchorage, Alaska
There's a shipwreck, and a group of survivors find themselves in a life raft in the middle of the Pacific.

A short distance away bobs another life raft, empty of people, but full of provisions: food, freshwater, and a two-way radio on which they can call for rescue. But between the two rafts is a school of hungry great white sharks.

Among the passengers on the first raft is a Catholic priest. Clutching a rosary, he says to the captain, "Don't worry. I'll get the other raft. The good Lord will protect me!" He dives into the water and swims only a few strokes before he's eaten alive.

Another man, a Baptist minister, steps forward. "Never fear! I'll put my faith in Jesus to protect me!" Swims halfway to the other raft when the sharks tear him to pieces.

A third voice is heard above the clamoring passengers. "I'll get it." A man in a three-piece suit dives in and, with an effortless sidestroke, swims to the other raft, grabs a bowline, puts the line between his teeth, then does a lazy backstroke to the first raft, towing the raft full of provisions.

"That's astonishing!" the captain says.

"Well, you see," the man in the suit says, climbing back aboard, "I'm a lawyer."

"But why did the sharks leave you alone?"

"Professional courtesy."


Jim


Forum Infidel since 2001

"And that troll bs is something triggered snowflakes say when they dont like what someone posts." - Boco
Re: I've never met James. [Re: ~ADC~] #7366704
09/28/21 05:40 PM
09/28/21 05:40 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,984
Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"
HobbieTrapper  Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,984
Eastern Shore of Maryland
Originally Posted by ~ADC~
What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller.


[Linked Image]


-Goofy-
Re: I've never met James. [Re: mink44] #7366707
09/28/21 05:44 PM
09/28/21 05:44 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,984
Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"
HobbieTrapper  Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,984
Eastern Shore of Maryland
Originally Posted by mink44
Why do lawyers wear neck ties?



To keep their foreskin out of their face.


[Linked Image]


-Goofy-
Re: I've never met James. [Re: ~ADC~] #7366760
09/28/21 06:55 PM
09/28/21 06:55 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,835
New York border
Cragar Offline
trapper
Cragar  Offline
trapper

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,835
New York border
Originally Posted by ~ADC~
What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller.


Kinda makes me wonder what happens if you give a lawyer Preparation H ?


NRA benefactor member
Re: I've never met James. [Re: Marty] #7366904
09/28/21 08:34 PM
09/28/21 08:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 925
Ohio
BuckMink Offline
trapper
BuckMink  Offline
trapper

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 925
Ohio
Originally Posted by Marty
I never met dipstick either and hope it stays that way.. smile


every time the oil gets checked.

Re: I've never met James. [Re: Cragar] #7366907
09/28/21 08:36 PM
09/28/21 08:36 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 925
Ohio
BuckMink Offline
trapper
BuckMink  Offline
trapper

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 925
Ohio
Originally Posted by Cragar
Originally Posted by ~ADC~
What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller.


Kinda makes me wonder what happens if you give a lawyer Preparation H ?



guess it depends on whos bun hole

Re: I've never met James. [Re: BuckMink] #7366942
09/28/21 08:57 PM
09/28/21 08:57 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,085
East-Central Wisconsin
B
bblwi Offline
trapper
bblwi  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,085
East-Central Wisconsin
I had the opportunity to work with hundreds of business owners and dozens during transfers between related parties and intergenerational transfers and am I grateful and so are the families that could use lawyers and law firms to help with all the resentments, egos and dysfunction that can occur when "stiff necked" people seem to enjoy being road blocks instead of open highways. The lawyers also were helpful in helping when farmers that were not successful needed to find ways to exit with as much dignity as they could find.

Bryce

Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7367000
09/28/21 10:28 PM
09/28/21 10:28 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,424
Anchorage, Alaska
J
James Offline
"Minka"
James  Offline
"Minka"
J

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,424
Anchorage, Alaska
Bryce, do you know any good lawyer jokes?

Jim


Forum Infidel since 2001

"And that troll bs is something triggered snowflakes say when they dont like what someone posts." - Boco
Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7367005
09/28/21 10:49 PM
09/28/21 10:49 PM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 11,524
Oakland, MS
yotetrapper30 Offline
trapper
yotetrapper30  Offline
trapper

Joined: May 2011
Posts: 11,524
Oakland, MS
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um, no.”
The lawyer interrupts, “Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
“Or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea.”
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”

Re: I've never met James. [Re: white dog] #7367033
09/29/21 04:03 AM
09/29/21 04:03 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,842
MI.
F
Feedinggrounds Offline
trapper
Feedinggrounds  Offline
trapper
F

Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,842
MI.
Every lawyer reminds me of Michael Avenatti....


your only allowed so many sunrises... I aim to see every one of them!
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