Good one ..... right there ^

I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would you buy booze?
He said no he hadn't had a beer in years. Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy fishing gear? He again said no, he stopped fishing 5 years ago.
So then I said I'll do you better than $20. I'll take you home get you all cleaned up. My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you. Then I'll bring you back & still give you $20.
He asked me won't she get mad? I said it didn't matter.
I just wanted her to see what happens to a man when he stops drinking & fishing!



Chris

Still at it.

Garry-

True story, job interview my phone goes off. Ringtone is Take This Job and Shove It.
I got the job.

I asked a supermarket employee where they kept the canned peaches. He said, "I'll see," and walked away.
I asked another and he also said, "I'll see," and walked away.
In the end, I gave up and found them myself, in Aisle C.

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.

FEW women admit their age-VERY few men act theirs.

When I was a kid, I used to watch the Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn't have a brain. Then I got Facebook!!

As I watch this generation try to rewrite
our history, one thing I'm sure of ...... it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, "That can't be accurate!"

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.

A guy walks into a lumberyard and asks for some 2x4s.
The clerk asks, "How long do you need them?" The guy answers, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.